#mindmindmind

Hello everyone, it's Chattercap!

I'm dropping by to let you know that MindMindMind has been updated! The new version has been remade in Ren'py, meaning that it has all of Ren'py's quality of life features, including rollback and self-voicing. I've also added a few other features, such as a pause menu and achievement system, and I've updated some of the coding/visuals of the game itself to be a bit more dynamic/cinematic! It also has a slick new GUI by my friend, elduator, and a new Latin American Spanish translation, courtesy of the very kind and skilled Gabriela Colmenares.

This version of the game has also been updated to be available on Linux, Web, and Android on itch.io.

Steam

itch.io

Unfortunately, due to the limitations of the engine, I've removed the Live2D-style animations, as well as some of the quality of life features, such as the dark and light reading modes.

If you want to play the old version with the animations, it's still available as a separate build labeled "Legacy" (only available on itch.io).

Please note that since the game engine changed, your old save files will not work and you'll have to start from scratch.

Thank you, and I hope that you enjoy the new build of the game!

There are two routes to this game, one for Geist and one for Kalei. Kalei's route seems like the more cannon and more hopeful one while Geist is darker and a bit more tragic. I'll go over Kalei's route first before going over Geist's though their general plots are the same.

The story starts out with the MC at a cafe working on their university homework when Giest comes in. Giest starts to talk to the MC about their insecurities, how they are taking up space, how the waiters are too nice to get them to leave, until the MC inevitably leaves due to his remarks. When they go back to their dorm, the MC recounts the first time seeing Giest at a play when they were a child, and how ever since they've been following them around outside in the world, but faintly ever in their dorm when they're alone. Having a hard time with their coding assignment, the MC goes to a tutor to figure out some of the issues that they have with their code. They are again haunted by Giest who talks to them about their anxieties again. The student next to the MC seems to be struggling with their coding, with the MC being able to figure out just by glancing over. They end up helping him out, him introducing himself as Kalei. The two of them chat and hang out with each other as the two of them code with Kalei inviting them afterwards to hang out in the library together. While going home, the MC listens to something soothing, only to possibly wave accidentally to someone across the street, causing Geist to talk about their insecurities again.

The next day, the MC goes to the cafeteria again to eat, only to walk into Kalei again. The two of them talk and trade their numbers, with Kalei noticing that the MC has a cartoon character icon. The MC is initially extremely worried as heard by Geist, but it quickly turns around as Kalei gets excited at the prospect of someone who is as interested in cartoons as he is. When going back to the dorm, the MC is hesitant to text Kalei again due to their anxiety and Geist, but does so anyways, with Kalei asking if the two of them are going to tutoring again tomorrow. A month passes, with Kalei and the MC going to tutoring together. The MC ends up ordering the next movie in the cartoon show that Kalei and them like, before Kalei asks if the MC would like to go watch a movie with him and some friends. While Giest pops up again, the MC decides to go with him despite not really knowing too much about the movie series itself. The MC ends up going to the movies with Kalei and Kalei gets really excited talking about the movie, something that the MC can't quite keep up with and feels awkward about, with Geist and their insecurities popping up. Kalei then moves onto a hypothetical scenario asking what the MC would do if they were completely alone in the world, with all the sustenance they need and what they would do. While Kalei wants to explore the world in hopes of finding another person, the MC seems confused, wondering why being alone would be such a bad thing.

The MC ends up going back to their dorm, and after working at the library the next day, ends up seeing a bunch of people partying outside for Halloween. As they try to get through the crowd, they start to get a panic attack, Geist continuously suffocating them with his words. Kalei sees this and is able to get the MC out of there and to a more quiet location. Kalei asks if they would like him to stay and if yes, he tries to calm the MC down. Geist warns the MC that Kalei is taking time out of his day to help them out and that he must think that they're a weirdo. Kalei instead talks about his aunt, and how she also has panic attacks despite being the most amazing person he knows. This affirms the MC and Kalei offers to bring them back home.

A couple of days later, Kalei asks the MC to watch a movie with him and his friends. Despite Geist's protests, the MC agrees, and Kalei picks them up. They all watch the movie and when they try to talk about it, the friends seem to slightly gang in on the MC causing them to feel uncomfortable as Geist continues to whisper in their ear. Kalei is able to defend them and even confides in the MC afterwards that they are the only person that they can really talk more seriously about the cartoons that they watch together.

Soon after, the MC receives the DVD that they ordered from the mail. They want to be able to watch it with Kalei, but Geist creeps into their mind again. Geist ends up confessing to the MC, telling them not to go out with Kalei, that all these thoughts are to protect them, but the MC can end up rejecting and snapping at them, telling him that they are strong enough to talk to others regardless of what the result will be, positive or negative. Finally to this, Geist relents, allowing them to finally ask Kalei to watch together. During the time watching in their room together, the MC can confess and kiss Kalei or continue as friends. The ending continues with the Kalei and the MC continuning together in their college life, with Geist becoming less prominant but never going away completely, and the MC being happier than they were before.

Geist's route follows this structure as well, but with the MC rejecting Kalei at almost every turn. While going to the tutor, Geist is able to persuade the MC to not talk to Kalei, but it ends with Kalei talking with the MC anyways to attempt to solve the problem. When Kalei ends up texting them after their meetup at the cafeteria, Geist again is able to convince the MC to not text them back, however, Kalei and the MC still continue to converse. When invited to the movie, the MC declines and decides to watch a movie they've seen dozens of times before, and knows every part by heart. They wonder about Kalei and worry that they've missed their chance to hang out with them, meanwhile Geist keeps them company by watching and commenting on the movie. After the movie, Geist reassures the MC that they made the right choice, watching the movie with Geist and having fun, something that the MC agrees to though unenthusiastically. During the panic attack, the MC will ask Kalei to leave them alone after he saves them, to which he complies. Here, Geist watches over the MC, tsking over how fragile the MC is, promising to protect them and reassuring them. Eventually the MC is able to go back and when Kalei does text them, they feel great guilt over what they've done. Noticably, Geist has been slowly hanging out more and more in the MC's room, something that was not like that before. Kelei after reassuring the MC, asks them if they'd like to go watch a movie with friends, and the MC declines this time as well, due to Geist's insistence. The two end up going to the park too look up at the sky, with Geist reassuring them that they made the right choice. Later when the MC recieves the DVD of the show, they want to ask Kalei to watch it with them, but Geist once again stops them. He becomes more persuasive and isolating, even confessing to the MC how much he loves them. So when the MC does reject Kalei, Geist praises them for it, reassuring them that they are not a social butterfly and that he will accept them for who they are. As the time passes, the MC hears less and less from Kalei, even returning to routine of watching the DVD over and over again. The route ends with Geist and the MC in bed as the MC goes to sleep.

This game is very well made (as most Chattercap games are) and I think it deals with the idea of Social Anxiety very well. Although I personally don't have it, you can experience what seems pretty close to what people with social anxiety feel like a lot of times, questioning, berating their own ineptitude and being unable to accept help.The game itself feels very real, from the experiences the MC faces, to the befriending of Kalei and the general atmosphere, with only Geist being the thing that makes it a bit more fantastical. The game gives me a bit of nostalgia back when I was in college as well, just from the hang outs to the studying. I think the dialogue is well written too between all the characters. I especially like how Kalei is able to reassure the MC during their heart attack, as it feels like a very natural yet comforting thing for someone to say without sounding too lecturing. It's nice too that Geist, while he is the main antagonist, in the end is not trying to hurt the MC, but rather protect them. I think a lot of times people view anxiety as something that is a demon, that should disappear, but in reality, anxiety is in the end is just a mechanism to try to protect the person, even if it tends to go overboard most of the time.

Kalei's route is the more hopeful of the two routes, with the MC being able to mostly leave Geist behind and live a happier life. Kalei is a good support and match for the MC, being understanding when they falter and tries his best to involve them in activities that the two of them share (movies and cartoons). I think that this route has a good message when the MC and Geist interact and the MC rejects him, in which the MC fights back against their worries, stating that even if the relationship with Kalei and them goes badly, they can still survive and live onwards. I think that's a great message because really, in the end, when a relationship, friendship, romantic or others go south, that you will survive it and you can move on. I think that's something that people with anxiety struggle with as well, that something will just go horribly and terribly wrong if one thing falls apart, when in reality, you can and eventually will be able to overcome it. The MC does feel a lot happier in this route having been able to have someone who cares about them as well. Kalei is a pretty big sweetheart and feels pretty authentic for a character, so much so that I could be convinced that this was a person you can meet in real life.

Geist's route is more sad, but I think it also holds a pretty important message as well. Even when the MC has fully isolated themselves and barely ever contacts Kalei again, we see that they fall into their own habits as well. There is nothing horrible going on, like they are dying, or having a heart attack, but rather they just go back to their normal lives. While it's probably not as ideal as compared to Kalei's route, I think it also shows that even if something doesn't work out, it's not the end of the world, and there is always other opportunities. That things simply go back to what they were, even if it's not the best of conditions. I guess I'm so used to having more dire endings in visual novels, that having a sad but generally realistic ending for Geist's route threw me off again. Geist as a yandere is rather possessive, controlling and overprotective, as his characterization as the embodiment of the MC's social anxiety. I think it actually is a very good way to incorporate a yandere since it does seem like anxiety is always something that wants to stay around, isolating the person from things that they would otherwise do. I think that it's good characterization that Geist isn't always antagonistic, as he does care about the MC, commenting and reassuring them when they are down or even when they have a heart attack. It's also nice that he is generally rather overprotective rather than fully against the MC, as that feels like it characterizes social anxiety more. I think it's also a good message that Geist never fully leaves the MC, sometimes popping up now and then, as anxiety is not something that goes away completely, but can be lessened as well (though as a yandere, this does lessen his yandereness, especially during Kalei's route). The idea that he loves the MC and is only doing what he can to protect them is a good idea, though it does make me wonder if it's a bit narcissistic if you think about it (since Geist is technically a part of the MC, so is it just like he's yandere for them, which means the MC is a yandere for themselves?) It's also an interesting choice to have Geist be this kind of polite british man with authority, since that does go against the general idea of anxiety being a sort of monster. Kind of a cool interpretation all in all. Geist in general feels also very infantalizing, reminding the MC about how fragile they are and how he will protect them, when in reality, the MC is a lot stronger than he thinks they are. It's part of the more manipulative ploy.

...Unfinished Geist.

And Karamu's characters came out as a cameo, which gave me a pleasant surprise.

Lovely Couple!

This was trying to play and draw Kanau. But I can't remember what I was trying to draw.

All right, that's all for the doodle involved.