Today has been hard but positive on the whole. Had to get up early as my parents were popping round. I had a bad night’s sleep despite taking the maximum dose of both of our sleepers, normal meds and PRN Diazepam. I think we were too anxious to sleep properly. I heard the baby crying at one point which is quite unusual as Helen usually takes very good care of her (not saying she isn’t now, I know babies cry!)
Talked to my parents for about an hour then I had two hours with our Mind support worker. We went out for the first hour, not far but it was the first time we’ve been out with her without my partner coming so that was pretty huge. We also walked a route I usually avoid because it’s triggering. It’s behind a huge pharmacy and where I’ve switched back 3 out of the 4 times Andrew took serious overdoses needing hospitalisation for antidote. I don’t remember buying the pills but I’ve come back under the bridge there with a bottle of water and empty pill boxes. I still can’t take paracetamol. But we went that route and I survived the anxiety, but feel really sick there. This support worker is going to help us go that way more so it’s not as triggering.
But anyway, it went well with her - we went for a drink in a cafe and to one shop so I was able to buy my partner a little surprise (just some chocolates but it was nice to be able to surprise her because normally she’s always with us!) Then we had an hour at home just doing a support plan.
If you’ve been following us a while you’ll know we’ve had an ongoing complaint going on against our local NHS mental health team concerning various issues. We went to the health ombudsman recently with the complaint because we’ve tried to resolve it with the NHS but they’re not co-operating. Anyway that was about a month ago and we got a phone call today saying that they are assessing everything we wrote and all the supporting evidence we sent in. They said it will be another up to 15 working days til we find out if they’re taking the case on or not. Fingers crossed. If they don’t take the case the only option we would have left is going to court which we can’t afford. Nothing we can do but wait and see..
I am absolutely exhausted but too wired to try and have a nap. Hopefully we’ll sleep better tonight - this week our sleep has been particularly bad. Randomly my mum gave me something *I* apparently made as a kid (that I have no memory of) and it had different initials on the back, not mine. Probably nothing but weird. Anyway I’m now wrapped in a blanket with a cat on my lap so that feels better. I already can’t wait for bed tonight and it’s not even 6pm!
