Group Chaos: Mirage (Part 5)
Author's note: If your characters are toxic, clap your hands (smack, smack) If your characters are toxic, clap your hands (smack, smack) If your characters are toxic, choosing Munchausen by proxy; If your characters are toxic, clap your hands (smack, smack)
Welcome to the final chapter of Arc 1 in the TADC Oasis AU. Thank you, everyone, for your support throughout the years and for enjoying the absolutely messed up story I desperately try to convey in coherent English.
Julle verstaan nie... dis by tye 'n nagmerrie on hierdie ding op skrif te kry en ietwat verstaanbaar te maak; of ten minste die gebeurtenisse te laat vloei. Ai wel... Dit staan nou maar so.
Anyway, there will be a nice little note for you to read at the end if you want, but for now, please enjoy!
Warnings (IMPORTANT): Mature themes Violence/Assault Sadism Manic/psychotic episodes Sensory depravation Suicidal thoughts/intentions Self harm Abusive/toxic relationships
SUMMARY:
Pomni seem to feel like she found her safespace; A fortress with no means of escape. She should be happy now.
Right...?
MIRAGE: PART 5
There was no time to think, until there suddenly was.
It felt like Pomni was frozen in time and all of what her life had become was idly drifting by her and moving on, far beyond her grasp.
There was chaos, fear, anger, determination and a general lack of self preservation what felt like only moments ago, but now, there was absolutely nothing.
What made it worse?
That feeling⦠the feeling of the hollow emptiness ā the feeling of being stagnant while your life, your sense of self and your reality was moving along without you? Pomni wasnāt even sure if it really was her own.
Being possessed by Gangle was overwhelming in the most underwhelming sense possible. One moment, the little jester was fired up to put a stop to a chaos of its own making; wrangling a wild chess-piece mustang that was about to charge at a psycho-manic Jackrabbit she didnāt even know how to feel about yet.
Then she got pulled down along with it, crashing beneath the checker tiles into a grieving chess Kingās domain, where her mind was clouded and overtaken with rage and hurt⦠but mostly an overwhelming sense of panic. It didnāt seem like any of what she was feeling, were hers, but she couldnāt focus on that. Kingerās thoughts bled into her own as she rode the knight to tail Jax, desperate and panicked about what would follow if they allowed their dolly to be mauled by him, while masked by Gangle.
How would they respawn? Would they even respawn at all?
The panic imploded to a quiet calm when she managed to catch a glimpse of the rabbitās sharpened claws, carefully prying the frail, fine, grinning mask from Gangleās layered complexion.
āThere was no reason to be the monster anymore.ā
Pomni was sure that it was Kinger who thought that, not her.
The jester remembered hitting the tiles as the remnants of the wild mustang blew over them in the form of cyan dust that clouded up the surrounding area; and she finally felt free from Kingerās explosive, jagged mind. The transition of suddenly being one with a stranger, followed by the surprisingly hollowed, empty feeling of them ripping themselves away from the jester was alien, but strangely unwanted.
For a brief moment, she didnāt feel alone anymore.
But he let go.
She was alone with her own thoughts once again ā and the steed she rode to help the people she barely knew, crumbled away too suddenly.
She was falling.
With the sharp pain of tumbling over Jax, who at that point, had been shielding Ragatha from the blow of Kingerās knight, she coughed out groans at the burns of skidding across the cold tiles.
The moment of solidarity came and went in a blink.
No, not a blink⦠a howl.
That was the last thing Pomni remembered taking in by her own tuition ā Gangleās manic, pain-struck howl ā the cry of a beast that had nothing left to lose.
A sheet of darkness eclipsed the bright, colourful surroundings and the girl almost felt relief.
But nothing followed, only numbness.
Physically, the jesterās last coherent moment was the unmistakable sensation of abnormally strong ribbons scurrying and slithering all over her body while porcelain melted itself to the skin of her face. A moment of panic flashed in her mind when she felt her mouth seal shut, unable to allow air for her to breathe, but the world faded away.
Her thoughts faded away and she didnāt bother fighting. She caved and allowed herself to become compliant.
Pomni was just⦠so tired.
The jester wasnāt sure if Gangle liked that or not, but she couldnāt care less at that point.
All was numb, all was dark, but the presence of Gangle was undeniable. Pomni was blind and her head felt empty, but the masked ribbon was there.
Just⦠there.
Once again, the jester was trapped within the amalgamation of her own mind that was melded and mixed with someone elseās. It was like whiplash, Kingerās loud, panic-ridden, explosive thoughts, to Gangleās hushed, muddled state of sheer numbness.
Worst of all, she wasnāt sure if it was only Gangleās numbness, because she felt it too.
The jesterās epiphany should have terrified her, but she couldnāt feel anything⦠and she didnāt have the strength to search for any trace of her own self. She and Gangle was for all intents and purposes; one.
One pathetic amalgamation of hopelessness, dread and misery.
At least, not a lonely state to be in.
In the current moment, the jester and the masked ribbon were idly dormant in the depths of Pomniās mindspace. Pomni was blind and wrapped in Gangleās coils. The tight, restrictive grasp of the ribbons, holding her suspended in the cool inky blackness, seemed to cling to her out of desperation, rather than dominance. When the pang of ironic sympathy struck Pomni upon the realization, Gangle shivered around her, tightening her hold by a fraction, making the little jester believe that their emotions were intertwined too.
Everything that each of them felt would find its way to the other.
Within the silent darkness, thoughts surprisingly did not come easy ā only in small stringy strands; as spontaneous and random trails that withered with moments of passing.
Where were they now? Did it matter?
Were they alone? Did they not prefer that?
How long had it been? Will it ever end?
Would the others come looking for them? Did they really need to?
When the jester paused, she finally realized that every question was met with another, similar to her own and yet not hers at all. An icy shudder crawled down the jesterās spine as she discovered that Gangleās thoughts were mixed with her own.
There was a moment of existentialism in which Pomni tried to decipher just how much was shared and how much was private.
What was hers and what was Gangleās?
To no oneās surprise, she was met with no answer ā just the sinking feeling deep in her gut that resembled annoyance, which, no doubt, belonged to the masked ribbon, causing Pomni to huff as well. It took a second for more annoyance to sprout, but Pomni could not tell if it was her that was annoyed by her lack of privacy and Gangleās disregard for it; or Gangleās own rising annoyance at Pomniās inexperience with the odd situation.
Ā Oh, sure, no worries! It was no trouble at all to get used to having your consciousness fused with a completely different person! Yeah, no, totally an average Tuesday!
It was a faint sense of smugness that simmered beneath the surface of the aloof presence all around her that had the little jester fuming quietly. As the silence stretched, she found herself feeling⦠relieved to have something to be mad about.
Something to feel with purpose.
Like her first raw encounters with Zooble.
In a mere second, it was like the air had frozen solid and Pomni had a moment to remember that her thoughts werenāt all her own anymore. She cursed herself for feeling the mess of guilt and frustration about reminiscing Gangleās partner so fondly when the ribbon had a front row seat to all she thought and felt.
Wasnāt this a violation of some kind? No, screw the homicidal ribbon; she was allowed to miss her friend.
Her friend�
Hush!
Despite the jesterās abrupt cut-off, she couldnāt help but let out a breath as her chest warmed and her heart melted as the image of Zooble entered her mindās eye, followed by the yearning longing and crushing guilt of running away when the Zolo-being called after her.
No, nevermind, that was all Gangleās mind.
You hush now!
It was Pomniās turn to be smug at Gangleās fluster, which quickly got replaced by a sinking, longing sorrow as the heartbreaking scene of Zoobleās outstretched hands and glossy eyes flooded their minds; all while Kinger held them back from chasing after the ribbon that scurried away as she wielded the body of the newly possessed jester.
Pomni felt herself deflate at that, swallowing a lump back in her throat, unable to stop herself from feeling pity for the poor ribbonoid.
Damn it, Zooble would have a field day making fun of her for being such a softie.
They wouldnāt let her live it down for a while, for sureā¦
The air was lifted a little and the stray thought of Gangle made it hard for Pomni to suppress a chuckle.
Zooble would probably chew them out straight after for running off.
Probably, but it would be short lived.
Probably.
Silenceā¦
It felt easier⦠there was a lingering warm tingle with every flash of brightly coloured shapes and funny limbs that managed to sneak its way into either of their minds. Pomni had to physically fight back a slither of awe at how adorable the ribbinoidās involuntary reactions to thoughts of her partner were ā and while the jester was met with a strike of flustered annoyance, there was no lingering resentment from Gangle.
It was going betterā¦
There was still a whileās way to go.
But it was something, right?
Why even bother�
Pomni couldnāt answer that; not even to herself.
Why did she even try? Up until now, since the first time she even interacted with Gangle, she had been shut down. Granted, her infatuation with the masked ribbon probably made her come on too strong, but she had not done or said anything since then to push any further. Gangle was the one to push her away before she could even approach to make amends. She never stood a chance to have any form of a relationship with the ribbon.
Why did she still try, despite everything?
Because⦠Right now, you are all I have to hold onto.
It hurt to admit, but it was the truth.
She didnāt know where she was. She didnāt know how long it had been. There was no way out and no one else with her.
All she had, was the ribbons wrapped all around her and kept taut to restrain her ā to blind her.
To keep her from falling into the unknown depths that she really didnāt want to fall prey to.
Pomniās breath hitched as she felt the ribbons wrapped around her, dampen with tears she didnāt know she had. The long shiny tendrils rattled as she sobbed; and seemed to tighten around her by a fraction.
There was a swell in the saddened realization that Pomni felt, but she was sure it was no longer all her own emotions.
What came next, was what made the dam break.
You⦠need me...?
Yes. Yes, I need you.
It was quiet, but the air around the jester and the masked ribbon shifted to that of a heartbreaking epiphany, one with sorrow, longing, anger, loss and resolution.
Gangle clung to the jester, letting her ribbons slide and caress the suspended body, like she was taking in the jester for the first time.
Maybe she could convince herself that she didnāt need anyone, just like Kaufmo practically beat into her head⦠but that didnāt mean that no one needed her.
Somehow, it hurt to think of that for the first time.
It felt like relief, but it hurt just as much ā a feeling she couldnāt wrap her head around.
But it didnāt feel⦠bad.
It took a while, but the air around the girls settled; and quiet sobs faded into an occasional hitched and shared breath as a cool porcelain forehead rested against the pale, soft skin of the jesterās, with the occasional shift causing Pomniās ebony locks to tickle the ivory mask.
The ribbons blinding Pomniās view, gradually gave way and allowed for her to gaze into the inky black pits that were Gangleās eyes.
Moments felt like ages as time passed and the two calmed down ā neither willing to let the other go. Events blurred together, but they ended up sitting back-to-back, leaning against each other, unwilling to break apart, but each needing time to themselves ā well, as much as they could, considering that their consciousness were intertwined so intimately.
They kept one of each; hand and ribbon, securely wrapped together, unwilling to let go.
The silence stretched and it made the girls each run a digit over the other, to which the other would respond with a squeeze. Back and forth, this happened every once in a while, just to be sure that the other was still there. It was unspoken, but they understood. Pomni found herself not minding the touch of the sentient ribbons and porcelain mask, whereas any otherās touch would usually make her skin crawl. Of course, no longer alone with her own thoughts, a soft thrum of acknowledgement to that fact, did not go unnoticed from the little jester.
The quiet became normal, paired with the occasional caress or touch, but it made it much easier for thoughts to wander.
Pomni sighed, not wanting to ruin the atmosphere, but deciding to break to silence, speaking up this time, using her words rather than shared thoughts.
āAre you ok?ā
What a silly question. Gangle just spiraled out of sanity, maiming and torturing a friend, holding her hostage as her other friends fought tooth and nail to free her ā all while the masked ribbon laughed and preened at how easily she managed to stir everything into a chaotic mess.
By the flick of a mere feature, and a storm was unleashed, all because of the ragdoll.
Because she was important. She was powerful. Gangle held the heart of the Oasis winding within her coils. Without her, they would be nothing. They needed Ragatha; thatās what he always used to say.
They couldnāt make it without her.
And now, finally, Gangle had someone who wouldnāt make it without her.
āAre you, ok?ā Gangleās soft, raw voice rung back, sounding much smaller and meeker than Pomni expected.
āI donāt know.ā The jester answered truthfully, seeing no possible way of lying in this state, āI donāt think I ever was.ā
āI donāt know anymore⦠I just know I used to feel better, I think.ā
āBefore I came, you mean?ā Pomni asked, too tired to sound bitter.
āBefore Kaufmo left.ā The masked ribbon deliberately clarified, a hint of annoyance sparking up the air around her.
āOh.ā Pomni simply said, thinking that was the end of it, since Gangle seemed reluctant to share anyways.
To the jesterās surprise, however, it appeared that Pomniās willingness to let the subject die, was all the ribbon needed to perceive it as an open mic.
āYouāre pretty entitled to think that you have such a big influence on anything we do.ā Gangle said numbly, as if she was talking about the weather, āYouāre not one of us, you know? We were fine without you and I doubt that it would change very soon. So, donāt go breaking yourself into bits about ruining anything for us. You donāt matter enough to destroy anything we build up to be.ā
Pomni furrowed her eyebrows after a moment of contemplation, taking in Gangleās cold words, āā¦Is that supposed to insult me or comfort me?ā
āHowever the shoe fits.ā Youāre amusing.
āUnbelievableā¦ā Iām worthless.
āListen to me.ā Gangle said, brushing and sliding her ribbons along the little jesterās body, as if she was trying to soothe the girl, but only making her shiver with a small slither of unease hanging in the air, āIām not calling you worthless. Iām saying that we didnāt find use in your worth yet. Youāre not one of us yet, because we donāt know how youāre worth will play into ours. Itās not personal, but you could make us or break us.ā
The jester paused, mulling it over. Gangle could feel the very space around them twist and contort with how loud Pomni was trying to think, offering awkwardly, āDo you want me to explain it again, or-?ā
āI got it, I got it, geez.ā Pomniās annoyance was palpable, but her thumb brushed over the scarlet ribbons so gently, Gangle couldnāt help but squeeze back as the clown-girl explained herself, āI just donāt know how to feel about it, I think?ā
āOh, thatās what that was.ā Gangle seemed to shrug dismissively, but it felt weird since Pomni was once again partially wrapped in the ribbonās coils. She hated how comforting it was, all while essentially being told that she wasnāt useful to have around.
It must count as some kind of abuse, right?
Maybe, but things felt easier to face with someone holding onto her so desperately. That fact alone made Pomni see through Gangleās deception she still managed, despite the girls sharing a mind.
āYou are a two-faced liar.ā The jester mumbled, squeezing the ribbon wrapped around her hand.
āThanks, I havenāt noticed.ā chimed Gangle dryly, looking over her shoulder to Pomni, making the brightly dressed girl bark a laugh.
āOk, that one was unintentional, I swear.ā
āSure it was.ā
āOh, come on!ā Pomni sighed, still smiling, leaning into Gangleās cradling embrace, āIt doesnāt matter how we look at it. I said it before and Iāll say it again; I need you. Youāre all I have⦠and based on how weāre clinging to each other like scared kids, I believe itās safe to say that you at least need someone else to hear you out at this moment, right?ā
āYou donāt get it.ā Gangle says, mask now fully turned to Pomni, āI shouldnāt. I just shouldnāt. My role in this system⦠I should be able to stand on my own. Yes, Jax keeps me grounded, but that is as far as it goes.ā
Pomni doesnāt understand what the sentient ribbon meant, speaking of her and Jax and āthe systemā along with the apparent role she played in it, but it was something. Sheād listen like her life depended on it.
It may as well have.
āIām supposed to oversee⦠everything and everyoneā¦ā Gangle continued as her reeling mind was whirring all around them, flashes of memories of everyone, including others that Pomni had only seen on the abandoned roomās doors, āI study them, I read them, and I connect with them. I sync up to them and I record it. All of it. Notes, pictures, codes ā anything. A separate venture thatās still so intertwined that the group canāt go without it. I see⦠everything. āYouāre not supposed to depend on anyone to just use your eyesā he used to say. When push comes to shove, Iām supposed to hold my own.ā
Pomni let the moment breathe, before quietly prying, āWho told you all that?ā
Nothing was said, but Pomni saw it.
A flash ā a memory ā of the white complexion with clown features, wearing mostly bright yellow.
The face of Kaufmo.
āHe is our leader.ā Gangle quickly barked as if defending herself, āEvery group needs a leader, and he was the reason we made it this far. This is the group that had survived the longest. Heās a good leader.ā
āGangleā¦ā Pomni gently said, voice quiet and concerned, āYou keep saying he IS.ā
Gangle grew quiet, grumbling something about forced habits, āYou know what I meant.ā
āNo. I donāt⦠And I donāt think you do either.ā
Ā āOf course I do!ā Gangle hissed, despite her ribbonās gentle caress over Pomniās knuckles, letting the jester return the sentiment with an affectionate squeeze. āHeās⦠Heās gone.ā
Oh god, heās gone⦠heās really goneā¦
He is. Iām so sorry.
āIt feels so unrealā the ribbon finally admitted quietly, āHe always spoke like he and I would be the last ones standing.ā
āDid it disappoint you when he gave up?ā Pomniās question was soft and careful.
āI donāt knowā¦ā a heavy sigh escaped Gangle, āIf it was either of us to go next, I always figured that I would be the first to lose it. I NEVER thought it would be him⦠A part of me is jealous of how easily he turned his back on us. All the preaching of āsticking through it togetherā and ābeing there for one another, regardless of what we feel insideā¦ā Well, he made it feel like it meant nothing to him to begin with. He left us in this sinking ship with no regard for anyone but himself.
āWhat Iām getting at⦠is I feel guilty. And I feel jealous. I wish I could just let loose and let go like he did. He just GAVE UP. And Iām left to clean up the mess! Iām angry⦠he left me!ā
Pomni remained silent, letting Gangle speak, letting her gloved thumb caress the ribbon wrapped around her hand in silent support.
Iām listening. Iām right here. I wonāt leave.
āDo you know what makes it ALL even better?ā the ribbonoidās voice mumbled a sarcastic whisper, āSometimes⦠Sometimes Iām glad heās gone.ā
A beat of silence follows and Pomni felt the weight of Gangleās words finally sink in as the masked ribbon admitted numbly, āMaybe that just proves that I deserved it.ā
Abstraction.
āNo.ā Came Pomniās voice, quiet, but certain. āNo one deserved this. No one deserved ANY of this.ā
āYou make it sound so simple⦠what if we were punished to be here for something we did in the real world?ā
āThat doesnāt matter now.ā Pomni said decisively, āWe are all in the same boat. We are all one bad day away from losing our minds. Whether we want to admit it or not, we all need each other.ā
Gangleās silence stretched for a minute.
āI want to need you, Pomniā¦ā the ribbon let her limbs and body wrap around the jester in a twisted, organized mess, āI want you to need me.ā
āI already told you; I need you.ā The clown-girl whispered, barely recognizing her own voice as the euphoria of anotherās desire for her to just be there, sweetly sunk its talons into Pomniās mind.
These feelings are dangerous. Is it more of a risk than to be alone?
Neither of them knew. All they knew was that they became increasingly desperate to cling to each other. The hold of the ribbons was gentle, but desperate; and Pomni couldnāt bring herself to mind. Her fingers trailed along the scarlet tendrils, enchanted by the strange beauty of them.
Why couldnāt she let this infatuation rest? Why was Gangle the common factor that always seemed to hold her mind hostage?
āNothing else matters right now.ā Gangle said with a strange, misplaced reverence, āYou are mine⦠and I wonāt let anything take you from me. Please, let me have you; and I promise I will never let you go again.ā
Oh god, this should be wrong. This should be very, very wrong.
But Pomniās desire to have Gangleās unyielding devotion was intoxicating. It was all she yearned for since she had gotten trapped in The Amazing Digital Circus.
She should say no. She should stand on her own two feet.
But god⦠the loneliness dragged her down. She was tired of fighting alone. Heaven knows how long it had been with no one else coming for either of them.
If she said yes, they would at least have each other, right?
A promise ā a deal; One or none. One or none.
And so, it was decided with all their previous morals disregarded and the desperation for companionship as their sole motivator in their tangled mess of limbs and ribbons.
Not even death would do them part.
Part 4: (Previous) Oasis: TADC AU list Masterlist
End note:
Finally... this arc is finish. I mean, it only took me LITERAL YEARS to complete. But the first arc of this story is done. Despite many things I look back on and cringe at - be it the grammatical errors I missed or the plot holes and inconsistencies that haunt my dreams; I did it. And I'm so proud that I stuck to it.
This story is not over. As usual, I can't promise a regular updating schedule and I can't promise it will all be good. But what I can promise is that I want to finish this story and the Arcs to come.
May you have a lovely day and live life to the fullest.
Tot wedersiens, my edelstene.

















