Feb 17
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Anya is live and ready to show you everything. Watch her strip, dance, and perform exclusive shows just for you. Interact in real-time and make your fantasies come true.
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A nice little bluey artwork to clear my mind
It started as a joke (with myself) but now I'm like: what if, once I have money and I get really tired of what I see here, I actually go to North America, rent an old muscle car, and go from East Coast to West Coast (and back?). Living like a real nomad, sleeping in motels and eating in diners along the road, avoiding stressful big cities, driving miles and miles through the Great Plains, on the Rocky Mountains, across some National Parks, through the desert, just me, the car and the asphalt under the wheels? In the ultimate mind-clearing car trip?
A gentle reminder
Choose things in life that give you content. Choose the kind of life that doesn't make you wonder why you fought all those battles in vain. Choose your unapologetic self and without guilt. Give yourself permission to love, to care, to hope, to trust the things you crave in life.
Chose letting go. Don't forgive them because they deserve it, forgive them because you need peace. Turn those losses into lessons for yourself in the future.
Choose to move forward into a story that fulfils you inside. It is into a kind of happiness that exists because you chose to fight for it, and you will never stop fighting for it.
As a result, there will be days you'll wake up and think you will feel calm, your vision will be clear, and the world will be yours.
Anya is live and ready to show you everything. Watch her strip, dance, and perform exclusive shows just for you. Interact in real-time and make your fantasies come true.
Free to watch • No registration required • HD streaming
I'm back in two weeks
If you ignore the insistent call of the inner self, you can have everything 'perfect' in your everyday outer world, but none of it will stop you from feeling that literally unimaginable pain of ennui, that sense of how nothing (even though and really in a way precisely because you have everything), will satisfy, nothing gives joy or even pleasure, not the sunset, not the finest meal.
And where are you? At the gates of depression, and having to use every trick in the book ( because, after all, this is how you attained your worldly success, with trickery, essentially) every wily strategy at your command, every inner ounce of strength,to make sure you don't succumb to that black dog.
And so life is basically a struggle, a going through of the motions, because your ego is preferring to put up with the pain, rather than surrender to the call of the inner self. And you KNOW that you are never Going To Win, but hey, maybe there's a chance. And, you know what, it is what it is, and nobody, nothing NADA, is going to tell me what to do!
Writing, wether it be in my journal, in my phones notes, to my best friend, or just some silly imaginary babble on a random napkin, helps keep me sane. It's calming and forces me to breathe and focus.
- #31