#millykitty

Hey do u remember me? ur best friend u once called me? im pretty sure i told u about how we gonna build distance because of ur new relationship but u said u don't wanna  lose me and its not gonna happen. well guess what, we didn't talk in forever, we didn't see each other on purpose so long, i can't remember the last time i told u whats going on in my life, how im feeling and i don't remember u telling me about ur life. do u remember 2 years ago? When we met nearly every day, texting 24/7 and u actually were interested in me and my life. U know what i do remember? How freaking happy u made me how happy i was having u as a friend when times were hard. u came over without even blinking the night i broke up with Philipp, u took care of me, u talked to me and i needed u that time. but do u even know how i am right now? u don't respond on ANYTHING i send u. i can send u a text of me saying im crying, or im gonna kill myself, or a picture of me naked, or just asking how ur day was. what did i do to u. what happened to u what happened to us that in a few months we probably gonna be strangers to each other. i really don't care about many people but guess what, u are one of the few i actually don't wanna lose. im not sure who or what changed u but im really sad about it. u used to really care about me, i used to talk to u about everything and u used to understand and give advise. now u r just looking at ur phone and ignoring the fact that i snapped or texted u. i know things changed between us but did they really changed that bad? that i can't even get any respond? u are such a sweet guy and i really miss spending time with u. i really need a friend like u right now, and i know its not always about me but u won't even listen to me. everything in my life is falling apart right now and u are actually something i can hold on at. when was the last time we met up? u used to ask me to come over or to help u buying a present or something. i tried to talk to u a few times but i guess u don't care, because i know how u act when u care about someone and im obviously not one of those persons. im sorry for anything i did that caused all this.

I feel like I'm getting over you and it scares me. Even tho you aren't around and there was never a chance of getting back together, in my head everything fit perfectly. Like if u were here everything would work out because we are still perfect for each other and our souls were made for each other. But now were u are gone for months now and we talk once or twice a week or don't hear from each other for weeks, even my imagination can't hold that perfect picture of us together. When we talk on the phone sometimes i don't know what to answer or what to say, and it never was like that in the past. But i guess u changed and moved forward and im still at the same point i was over two years ago. We don't fit anymore. I knew we never gonna go back together but u still were my safe place. My safe place were i can be who i am, were i feel at home, were everything is alright, fits perfectly and what feels like a future that is wonderful, like a future im looking forward to. U moved on and i got that pretty early, but now we slowly getting strangers. I was lonely and alone all the time but thinking about u being here with me always made me feel better but i guess thats gone now because u changed to much and i changed not enough. And now that im thinking about it im very sorry we were together. I hold u back all the time and breaking up was the best thing that could ever happen to u. Getting rid of the mentally sick and crazy girl that hold u back all the time and made u suffer with her. Im so very sorry about that, about ever making u feel bad. im scared to ever not love u. Im scared we gonna lose each other without noticing and losing the feelings we had, getting strangers. I don't wanna stop loving u.