#millswrites

the stillness that had found itself into the throne room had crawled out of the keep in ashford. it had been born of a spiked mace colliding with the back of a steel helmet, of mangled tissue leaving an imprint of red upon gloved hands, of the womanly screams let out by a distraught wife and the youthful rogue tears of an unfortunate son. the king had dismissed his courtiers for the day and stationed his guards beyond the grand walls of the vast chamber, opting to oversee the audience he was asked to grant privately.

two figures stood before him, both of sullen countenance and hollow eyes, both draped in robes of black and with hands clasped above their respective abdomens. the thought of his youngest son and his eldest's bride resembling one another had never crossed the old king's mind, yet now they appeared to him as one soul shattered in two shards by one singular loss. they didn't utter a single word to one another, yet the unease and discontent that brewed between them would have been obvious even to the most simple-minded of fools. the warrior prince dared not look at his eldest brother's once radiant wife, and the woman's eyes remained deeply concentrated on the elderly man upon whose brow rested a crown adorned with golden dragons.

it was the woman that spoke first, her mourning veil hastily thrown back behind her head. "it is unseemly, for a man who brought about the end of the prince of dragonstone's life to walk about so freely." she began, quietly, yet with venom filling her throat and malice appearing in her eyes. "it is forbidden for a knight to strike a prince of the crown — a rule that has stood long before any of us were born. a rule designated to protect those worthy to lead from those lesser than them. it would have applied to any of the men upon that battlefield, your grace. had ser donnel, or ser willem, or ser crakehall, left even a single mark upon my husband's skin, their lives could have very well been forfeit.. as is just. as is necessary, to preserve the dignity and safety of this family" she continued then, taking a step closer to the spikes of iron laid before her. she circled the topic they both expected her to raise with poise and grace, and yet, they both feared what words would leave her mouth next. were it forgiveness she wanted to offer, she would not have called upon maekar and asked the king for an audience. were it forgiveness she wanted to offer, she would have spoken at least a single world to a soul other than her husband's sons, would have gently embraced aegon as she had in the past and examined daeron with the stiff worry only a mother could offer.

"had prince maekar.... merely grazed my husband, I would say nothing, for my words would mean nothing. baelor would be well, and healthy. he would have looked in on him and his sons, praised him for a battle well-fought and then returned to me and his dear boys — but prince maekar did not merely graze my husband. prince maekar slaughtered the heir to the iron throne." there was no sympathy in the words as they were spoken, no guilt or fear permeating them. her voice rose upon the most heinous of all the words she had uttered, as the sullen prince drew in a harsh breath, and the king gripped the iron spike of his chair harshly. "you must mind your words, good daughter. prince maekar is a prince of the blood, and your lord husband's brother — allow not your grief to cloud your senses." he spoke then, yet whether his words stood in defense of his youngest's regrettable mistake or as an attempt to discourage his good daughter from speaking words of treason remained unclear to both individuals before him.

"you must forgive me for my harshness — but my mind has never been clearer, your grace. you speak as a father in defense of your son... but what of mine husband's sons? if such a vile act stands unpunished, then what is to stop prince maekar's mace of finding its place in the back of valarr's skull? or matarys'? or those of the rest of your sons?" the widow continued then, interrupting the prince as he opened his mouth to speak. "and even if you truly believe prince maekar repentant of his sin, then what of his vile, bloodthirsty issue? we now know that the whispers about him stand on solid foundation. he assaulted a young maiden at a puppet show, and attempted to have a knight who came to her defense put to death. he has taken place in but one tourney since his last name-day, and in it he has dishonourably struck his opponent's horse and killed it!" they were sure the knights outside could hear her, as loud and angry screams bounced from wall to wall. "there is none to guarantee that this.... brazen act shan't encourage him to hoist himself higher up in the line of succession. and none to guarantee that his father won't defend him as readily as he did in ashford."

"I did not mean to kill my brother." those were the only words the prince could mutter out, as he finally turned to face the maddened widow standing next to him. perhaps if he said it another hundred times, she would find it in her heart to believe him. perhaps she already did, and it mattered not regardless. the sorrow in his voice did nothing to soothe her soul, but it did appeal to the manner in which she carried herself. feeling his eyes on her, her gaze shifted only slightly, so she could take in his face as she spoke again. "perhaps that is true — and yet, the king allowing you and your son to walk free sets a very dangerous precedent. a prince who has struck down the heir to the throne and hand of the king walks free. a man is allowed to reshape the line of succession, so long as he bears the king's blood." she did not need to speak his name for maekar to know upon whom she drew the comparison. a tempered insult, and yet an insult nonetheless. only weeks earlier, he would have answered it with indignation and anger. only weeks earlier, his hands were clean of his own brother's blood. the king squeezed his own eyes shut in frustration at the slight — he thought it unwarranted and rash, and yet the nature of it seemed so unlike his son's once virtuous bride.

"if you and your son are allowed to walk away unpunished, then what law exists to stop matarys from drawing his blade upon valarr, to stop one of your sons drawing it upon matarys? few laws stand without crumbling to dust, when they have been disregarded once."

her gaze returned to the king then, as she raised her hands towards him as one would while praying. "I speak not as a grieving widow now, but a woman who stands valiantly loyal to your house, to you and to your heir... if this transgression suffers no consequences, prince baelor's death may not be the worst of what is to come."

the king's dismissal of her was gentle and kind, yet his announcement that he would forgive her crude tone and her undignified outburst on account of her grief, was rather stern. angry as she was, the widow knew better than to protest against the king's decision once it had been made. maekar watched the back of her head as she withdrew, back hunched as she finally allowed the tears she had held back to cascade down her cheeks.

king daeron ii, wise as he was, chose not to punish neither his son nor his good daughter. maekar's act of violence was an unfortunate consequence of battle, and his good daughter's unkind words were the unfortunate consequence of womanly grief.

perhaps such a decision would have enraged her, had valarr himself not delivered the news that the kinslayer prince had been moved by her words in a manner that his father hadn't been. prince aerion was sent off on his way to lys mere days after she'd finally looked her good brother in the eyes and smeared salt upon the wound his brother's death caused him. there, he would be far from what remained of baelor's legacy, far from the knight her husband had given his life for, far from his father's vigilant protection and the woman whose joy he had stolen. it was less than she desired — it was not maekar's disinheritance, nor was it aerion's head, but it was some form of retribution for the suffering inflicted upon her. it would have to be enough, as neither the king nor valarr would offer her anything else. it was maekar who had taken from her, and it was he whose decision helped quell the rage within, and whose decision reminded the realm, albeit subtly, that such tragedy comes at a cost for the guilty.

that fateful moment in the throne room would be the last time baelor's widow and maekar would look each other in the eye — but she would shave aegon's head as he ventured off with his hedge knight once again, and place a gentle kiss upon daeron's forehead as she granted him her blessing to marry her late stepson's widow. she'd smile as she cradled vaella, and begrudgingly rest her hand on rhae's shoulder as she grit her teeth through his coronation.

the prince of dragonstone's widow and the future king would never look in eachother's eyes again, but they would both whisper the same name as the stranger came to claim them — for as different as they were, what remained of their lives would consist of the same sullen countenance and hollow eyes. what remained of their lives would be shaped by the same ghost.

╰┈➤ you stepped forward to testify, wanting to help out the woman. she thankfully didn't appear to be in critical danger, save for the bruising on her hip and the apparent fracture in her left hand — and so you headed off with them to the station to give your statement. the woman was allowed to give her statement and leave immediately, due to the obvious state her hand was in and her need to visit a hospital. you were left then with the kind-eyed officer from earlier, who brought you a sizzling cup of hot chocolate and sat down to wait with you until you could sign off on your witness testimony.

╰┈➤ talking with him was so relaxing for you. it felt as if you had known him for years and the banter between you and him felt natural and light. you couldn't remember when was the last time you laughed that much — little did you know that he felt the same way.

╰┈➤ as you headed off to leave, your eyes searched for him amongst the worn-out chairs and stacked files. you wanted a chance to say goodbye, regardless of the dread gathering in your chest at the thought that you'd never see him again. you were disappointed when one of his colleagues informed you that he had to head off back to his post — that was until you were handed a slip of paper with his name and number on it. he was far too professional to make the move himself, but his colleague could see you two liked one another and took it upon himself to push you towards him. with a grateful smile and a glint of unadulterated joy in your eyes, you left the building and headed off to meet up with the friend you'd made plans with that day. you would be a little late, but you were sure she wouldn't mind once you told her about your day.

╰┈➤ admittedly, it took you a couple of days to call the handsome officer, whose name you now knew to be hwang jun-ho. every time you picked up the phone, your legs would become jittery and you'd find yourself pacing around your room. a little seed of doubt took its root within you, but on the fourth day you finally gave in and pressed the call button. once he recognised your voice, his lips curled into a smile on the other end of the line. he was a bit concerned when his colleague gave you his number, but he was glad to see that you weren't put off by it. on that cold winter's night, you talked and talked until you both fell asleep grasping your phones, the line still on.

╰┈➤ these cozy evening calls became routine for the two of you, with him initiating them when he got off work. you learned more about him — that he was close with his mom, that he was set to get a promotion soon and that he wanted to work in major crimes as a detective someday and that he would often look in on his brother when he had some spare time. he didn't talk much about him, but you got the feeling that whatever it was his brother experienced wasn't something you wanted to press him much on — so you didn't. he made the effort to ask you more about yourself as well, so you talked to him about your job, your family, and your friends. you talked to him about your hobbies, the places you wanted to visit, and the things that made you happy. neither of you had ever really felt so comfortable, so quickly with another person — it was a lovely feeling, one that you both desperately latched onto.

╰┈➤ a couple of weeks after you started talking, jun-ho finally managed to get a day off. his tone of voice was dignified, yet dulcet as he invited you to go see a movie and then to dinner with him. you replied immediately and enthusiastically, gripping the phone so tightly in your hand that it almost felt like you could break it if you squeezed it in just a slightly tighter manner.

╰┈➤ like a true gentleman, he picked you up from your apartment on the day of the date and you found yourself glancing at him admiringly as he drove, trying his hardest to keep his eyes on the road and not on you. when you arrived at the cinema, you were surprised to see that the movie he got tickets for was the one you'd been raving to him about for weeks. "I wasn't sure if you wanted to go see it with a friend, but I figured it would make for a pretty good first date" he admitted with a hint of humour in his voice. you responded by telling him you thought it was a wonderful idea.

╰┈➤ the cinema hall was dark, illuminated only by the gleam of the screen as the opening scene of the movie was unfolding. he had to admit that the plot was intriguing, but he found himself glancing down at you every so often. halfway through the film, he found the courage to extend his hand, and you grasped it into yours as gleeful smile made its way onto your face. even as your hands began to feel a bit sweaty, you couldn't bring yourselves to let go.

╰┈➤ on the way to the restaurant, you launched yourselves into a proper conversation about the movie, laughing and joking about its points and twists as the rosy sunset gave way to a melancholy dusk. the staff and guests moved around in a lively manner, as the sound of glass and ceramic reverbated through the room — and the view from the windows was absolutely breathtaking. you could tell that he'd done his best to keep your preferences in mind when he was looking for a place to take you to. you held his hand across the table as you waited for the food to arrive, and you spent the better part of the evening comfortably talking to one another. every so often, his eyes would dart to your lips, but he made no move to reach across the table — not yet, at least.

╰┈➤ his shoes were crunching on the frozen ground as he followed you to your front door, and as you turned back to see your goodbye, he leaned in and gave you a gentle kiss on the lips — one which you eagerly reciprocated. he pressed a gentle kiss to both of your hands before he departed, and he called you once again as he got home.

╰┈➤ it didn't take long after that for the two of you to become an official couple. you began to visit him at work when you had the time, and he'd take an hour or two after work was done to slip by and spend some time with you. you would lounge on your couch with a glass of wine in your hand — if he was staying the night he'd drink a few too, and if he wasn't then he'd drink some tea.

╰┈➤ he would feel awful about waking you early in the morning when he had to return to his apartment and get ready for work, but he always made sure to write you a note and find your kettle so you could boil water for tea or coffee when you got up. he always kissed your forehead and whispered a sentence or two of affection before he left. he knew you couldn't hear him, but he felt the need to say them nonetheless.

╰┈➤ realistically, it wouldn't take long for you to meet his mother and brother. jun-ho always made time to visit her, and in-ho had given him his kidney. they were a close-knit family and he wanted the people most important to him to meet the person he was rapidly becoming more and more serious with. his brother seemed quiet and solemn, but he wasn't unkind. save for your greeting and goodbye, you only exchanged a few awkward words — most of which were just polite questions. you got the underlying feeling that he was a very tormented man, and the sight of a family photo on the counter with his arms wrapped around an unfamiliar woman confirmed your suspicions. jun-ho's mother, on the other hand, was incredibly warm and welcoming. she trusted her son's judgement, and she embraced you as if she'd met you a thousand times before. she prepared a fantastic meal, and she showed you photos of jun-ho and in-ho throughout their childhood. your joyous laughter echoed through the room as the younger of the two brothers covered his face with his hands. when it was time to return home, you found yourself hesitant to leave the warm atmosphere of the older woman's apartment — she made you promise to come visit her often. you agreed enthusiastically.

╰┈➤ when you returned home that evening, you asked him about his brother. he opened up to you then, about all the things he'd never really talked about. about the week his brother went missing a couple of years ago, about the death of his brother's pregnant wife and about the kidney he received from his brother. his voice was on the verge of breaking as he uttered out one string of words after the other, and his eyes began to gloss over. you held him close then, and from that moment on it was as if he could tell you anything — trust you with everything. it was the turning point between being two people who truly liked eachother to being partners.

╰┈➤ the change from living apart to living together was pretty seamless. at one point, you both realised that most of his stuff was already at your place and you just ended up moving the rest of it in. from that point on, he never really had to worry about going back to his place or getting up extremely early to get ready for work. you'd stay awake huddled under the blankets with his arms wrapped around you as you kept one another up to date with what you got up to during the day, and what you wanted to do as soon as you found some free time.

╰┈➤ if you're out together and he sensed that the chill from the cold weather outside is getting to you, he'd sneakily slip his jacket around your shoulders and offer you a teasing quip as he zipped it up with a light smirk on his face. your protests of not being that cold would be met with an exasperated look.

╰┈➤ you didn't hear him the first time he told you he loved you. as he kissed your forehead and whispered to you in the morning, it simply slipped out. he didn't realise it until he spoke it out loud. when he returned home that evening, those were the first words out of his mouth — and you said it back. after that, he always made to include his declarations of love in his morning notes, and they were the first and last words on his lips each time you said your helloes and goodbyes.

╰┈➤ you're there for him as he climbs the ranks in the police, and you'll never forget the look on his face when he came home with the news of finally receiving his promotion to detective. he spun you around as he placed kisses on your face, and you leaned in and kissed him with passion to show him just how proud of him you were. he took you out to celebrate that evening, and he took you to the same restaurant where you had your first date. it would go on to become your go-to place for celebrating special occasions. the following day, you went to visit his mother. tears of joy slipped from her eyes as she embraced him, and it wasn't long before she drew you into her embrace as well. it was the first time you saw something that didn't look like grief or sadness in his brother's eyes. you saw pride.

╰┈➤ he definitely wants to get married, and the two of you have talked about it, but both of you want to have a wedding when the entire family feels like they can actually celebrate. the dark cloud of grief that seems to constantly hang over in-ho's head has encouraged you both to wait a while. regardless, you two have already discussed so many of the details — the song you'd like to have for your first dance, the colour palette, the season when you'd like to have it in and where.

╰┈➤ he's incredibly observant, a trait that has helped him in both his private and professional life. he remembers the little things about you — he keeps track of the things you talk to him about, notes the ways in which your features contort when you see something you like or dislike, and goes out of his way to make your life easier in small ways.

╰┈➤ when you are both too tired to get ready and get ready for a proper date, but still want to do more than simply stay inside the whole time, he'll take you for a drive around the city. sometimes you get stuck in traffic, sometimes you get to breeze through the vibrant streets. for these dates, you have two playlists — one made up of both yours and his favourite songs, and another made up of ballads and romantic declarations weaved into music. which one you end up putting on depends on the atmosphere, but the second one tends to be the one you play when you park atop a cliff and take some time to glance at the stars.

╰┈➤ he rarely ever gets jealous, because he's confident in your relationship and he trusts you. that being said, he is incredibly protective — and he's always watching out for you. this bleeds into his affectionate nature, and the hand wrapped around your shoulder when you're out and about means two things. one, that he wants to be close to you and this is his way of expressing it. two, that he's warding off any unwanted attention and anybody who would seek to do you harm. he's a detective, so of course he's great at multi-tasking.

╰┈➤ while he mostly saves flowers for special occasions, he goes out of his way to get you baked goods when he's on his way back from work. you remarked once on how the pastries he brought you from the bakery near his station reminded you of something you ate regularly in your childhood, and he was nothing if not attentive. he didn't always bring home the same stuff — but he kept track of which treats you were craving the most and acted accordingly.

╰┈➤ if you get caught out in the rain, he's the type of guy who will keep his jacket above your head to try and keep you from getting drenched by the rainfall — or at the very least drape it around you, if you're wearing something that becomes see-through when it comes into contact with water. his focus is on your comfort in those moments.

╰┈➤ he finally proposed to you on your three-year anniversary, at the same restaurant where the two of you had your first date. while marriage was something you discussed, he still managed to surprise you with the proposal, and you agreed with tears welling in your eyes and your heart thumping nearly out of your chest. one of the first people you called was his mother, and you made sure to send the colleague that slipped you jun-ho's number a baskets of flowers and baked goods. he left a good portion of the planning to you, as busy as he is with his job, but he always offered his opinion and showed you that he cared immensely when you'd ask him for it.

╰┈➤ a couple of months after you announced your engagement, and with preparations underway — his brother disappeared. this wasn't the first time of course, but it was only the second time he didn't leave a message or let anyone know of his whereabouts. the last time this happened, his pregnant wife passed away, so naturally you, jun-ho and his mother were all worried. a couple of days into his brother's disappearance, your fiancee called to tell you that he was following a lead on his brother's disappearance — something with slip of cardboard with weird symbols and some man his colleagues perceived as crazy. after that, you couldn't get hold of him.

╰┈➤ when he did resurface, a couple of weeks later, he turned up bloodied and with a bullet in his shoulder on some old sea captain's boat. you looked after him then, tending to his wound and making sure that it didn't get infected, redressing it, and helping him with mundane tasks he struggled with now that his shoulder was injured. he was eerily secretive about it at first, and all you knew was the tidbits you managed to get from his coworkers — about some strange island and some sickening freaks making indebted people play children's games and then killing them for sport. you were confused, but you didn't press him until he was ready to talk to you about it.

╰┈➤ in the dark of the night, as he was leaning on the bathroom sink and you were pressing cold ice against the torn and injured flesh left by an unknown man's gun, he started talking to you about it. about following the strange man into a limousine where they doused all the passengers with some sleeping agent, about sneaking onto a ship and strangling one of the workers there, consequently tossing his body into the depths of the vast sea. as he spoke about all the death he witnessed, about the man with one kidney the workers cut up and whose organs they trafficked, about the sickening rich man who attempted to force himself onto him and about escaping the island, only to be tracked down as he attempted to send the proof he'd gathered and was met with horrendous cell signal and a masked man's gun. he didn't tell you about his brother, couldn't condemn him in such a way. that was the only part he kept to himself.

╰┈➤ your habit of staying up together in the night became more frequent than it had ever been. when he did sleep, he was always mumbling something about in-ho and the lines on his forehead and the manner in which he was squeezing his eyes made him look nearly as if he was in pain. you would coax him back from the turmoil he was re-experiencing in his sleep and into reality. neither of you went back to sleep on nights like those, and his grasp on you was so firm as if he was afraid you might disappear if he attempted to loosen it.

╰┈➤ he'd quit his job and went back to handling traffic then, and you understood he needed his time to grieve — a reprieve from death and the most distorted cases that hit the station's desk. you got married soon after, as the realisation that life was far too short to worry about semantics settled in his bones, and the fear of losing him intensified in you after what he'd gone through. you still kept the most important parts of what you'd planned out - the song for your first dance, the place where you wanted to celebrate, the people you wanted in roles of honour. it was a small and private affair, witnessed only by those the two of you felt were most deserving and close. you hoped to hold another celebration once in-ho returned, if he ever did — your husband already knew that he would not.

╰┈➤ once he starts working with gi-hun, he fills you in on what they're doing. he doesn't want you to worry, he couldn't put you through what you experienced back when you didn't know if he was dead or alive. you demand that they let you in, that they allow you to help them look for the man in the black mask. you couldn't stomach the thought of him setting off with you again, to do something so perilous and frightening. he's hesitant at first, and refuses to even consider the idea. upon realising that you don't intend to give up, and that you'll join him for it whether he likes it or not — he relents, but demands you don't put yourself in harm's way.

╰┈➤ on the night of halloween, as you all set out to find whoever is behind the black mask of the games' frontman, you head off with gi-hun. jun-ho worries about letting you go, but he still has faith in his brother not causing you any harm. he doesn't expect you to end up in the limo with gi-hun, as they take him back to the island for another week of twisted, death games.

╰┈➤ your father wished to see you happy and contented, and he wished to keep you safe from the treachery of red keep. and so, on the eve of your sixth nameday, your father wrote to the boy he once fostered in the vale, now a lord paramount in his own right. eddard stark was possibly the only man jon arryn trusted to the same extent he trusted his grace, the king. it was a difficult decision to make, but he was acting in your best interests. life at winterfell would suit his little falcon better, for you would grow strong and you'd be well-looked after. you'd be far away from the glances of power-hungry, lecherous men who wished for nothing but power. you would be with family as well, as the lady catelyn was your mother's only sister - and her children your closest blood. it was a great honour in westeros, to be trusted with the upbringing of one's child, and it was an honour lord arryn would bestow upon lord stark.

╰┈➤ lysa was resistant to the idea of sending away her only living child - the years of losing babe after babe had taken their toll on her, but she eventually relented. you would be safer in winterfell, and catelyn was still her sister - for all the distance between them.

╰┈➤ mere days after lord stark accepted your father's offer, you were sent to winterfell as a ward with a kiss on the forehead from your mother and an unusually tight hug from your father.

╰┈➤ the first couple of weeks were rough - for you were often coddled by your parents. you missed tugging on your mother's skirts and resting in your father's arms. you weren't used to the absence of them, and while you tried not to cause trouble for your caretakers - they could tell you had a hard time adjusting.

╰┈➤ there were two people in winterfell whose presence brought you comfort during that trying time. the first was your aunt, lady catelyn stark, your mother's only sister. you knew little else of winterfell, but you were comforted by the familiar shade of auburn that cascaded down her shoulders and the unique cadence to her voice that could only be ascribed to a woman born of riverrun. she wasn't your mother, but she was the closest to her anyone could get. she sung you lullabies only your mother knew, and the gentle manner in which she treated you was that of a mother towards her child. the second was the boy named after your father, jon snow. you latched onto him early on in your stay in winterfell, and nobody was quite sure as to why. perhaps it was for his name, for you often called for him - at first you were calling for your father, but jon always answered. he was two years your senior and still a boy unsure of his place in his own home - for all the love of his father and the acceptance of his siblings was matched evenly with pointed looks and whispers of bastardy, as well as lady catelyn's cold distance and her decision to ignore his existence the best he could. some would say that it was your insistence on seeking him out that helped reassure the dark-haired boy of his place. of all the nobles and commonfolk at winterfell, you gravitated towards him.

╰┈➤ at first you were content to spend your time with him in silence, and he never appeared opposed to that. within a few weeks, you were talking to him about your life back in the crownlands. you talked about your mother, and her watchful, protecting eyes that seemed to follow you everywhere. you talked about your father, and his insistence on making time for your regardless of how pertinent his responsibilities may have been at any given point. you talked about the king too, and his tales of the valour and glory he experienced side by side with jon's own father. he spoke to you too, of how lovely his father and siblings were, of winterfell's hidden gems and it's most well-known attractions. he promised to take you to the weirwood tree in the godswood when the opportunity arose, and he followed through on his promise. jon snow had become, aside for the lady catelyn whom you'd grown to love as you loved your mother, your dearest person.

╰┈➤ your aunt catelyn was not fond of your budding friendship with the reminder of her husband's indiscretion - that much was plain to see by the harsh manner in which her brows furrowed and frown of her lips, and yet she made no move to disallow it. she could see that his presence helped you get used to your new home, and soon enough you were playing with sansa, teaching arya and bran how to say your name and often fetching robb to speak with him on the way to break your fast. it pleased to see your aunt to see you and her own children bond so quickly, and she kept her dissatisfaction of your bond with jon to herself.

╰┈➤ jon was there for many of the major moments of your life, with the most notable being the first letter you'd written your parents. you had just started learning how to read in the red keep, but lord stark made sure to place you with septa mordane alongside his daughters and he kept an eye on you to make sure your education was advancing. not to mention, lord and lady stark were adamant in ensuring that you remained in touch with your parents - making sure you became literate was the most important factor in that. early on, you would ask jon to re-read your letters before you were to show them to lord stark, and your friend was always glad to do it. the faint red hue that enveloped his cheeks as he read the parts where you mentioned him to your father went unnoticed by you, too focused on making sure that your letter was presentable to lord eddard.

╰┈➤ you remained close through your childhood and closer into adolescence, but it wasn't until one fateful evening that somebody changed between the two of you.

╰┈➤ the letter you received from your parents was unlike any other you had received in the past. the words seemed to swirl on the yellowed paper, and you could feel a headache in coming. your mother had given birth to a son - a proper heir to the vale. you should have felt happy, overjoyed even. a part of you, unfortunately, felt overwhelmed by misery and you could not quite understand why. you were content in winterfell, loved even - and you knew you were never to be heir to begin with, for you were a daughter and your father had plenty of nephews to choose from. so, why did you feel so unhappy? you couldn't quite figure it out, at least not until you spoke to the one person who understood why you felt the way you did, even when you yourself could not.

╰┈➤ you'd skipped supper in favor of spending the evening by the godswood, and truthfully, you expected aunt catelyn to send robb to retrieve you when it was due time for you to return to your chambers. instead, you were surprised to see that jon came for you instead. as you rose from beneath the weirwood tree, red leaves giving way to a darkened sky, you walked side by side with jon towards the great keep. he spoke to you quietly then, of things you never dared ask and he never dared to say outloud. he spoke to you of the mystery of his mother, of wanting to know who she was and if she had wanted him, of wanting to know what kind of person she was. it was only then that the truth of your misery dawned on you. you wished to truly know your parents, and your brother - but you never truly could. for all the letters in the world cannot bring you the closeness of having your family near. robin would know your parents in the ways that you never would, and they would know him in ways that they never knew you. it was a bitter pill to swallow, but you felt as if you could breathe easier - with the realisation clear in your mind.

╰┈➤ you were grateful to jon as well, for his vulnerability with you and for his kindness. you thanked him for walking you back to your chambers, and left a chaste peck on his cheek before retreating. "I am grateful... for you, and all that you are" were the words you spoke to him. a silent acknowledgement hung in the air between the two of you. he was still your dearest friend, and you were his - but something had changed. the way in which you regarded one another had changed.

╰┈➤ it was as if the wall that you two had carefully placed between yourselves had found itself with holes in it. you were still careful, chaste even - but it was apparent to those around you that you two loved eachother. you'd make handkerchiefs for him in your embroidery classes and he'd gently hold onto your hand in the privacy of the godswood.

╰┈➤ none were truly aware of the extent of your affections for one-another, for you were both aware of your positions. you were a noble-man's daughter, entrusted in the care of jon's father who was meant to find you a suitable match and marry you off well. you were considered a bride for theon greyjoy or willas tyrell, but not jon. not a baseborn son of your noble caretaker, with no titles to his name and no inheritance to claim. furthermore, were you to rebel and marry jon without anyone's knowledge - you would soil not only the reputations of your fathers, but the goodwill and bond they shared, for lord arryn entrusted lord stark with your upbringing.

╰┈➤ you two grew closer over the following year, and it was apparent to both of you that you would not have the time to properly court one another before pursuing a way to convince your fathers to allow marriage. you were a woman grown, of marrying age. not to mention, you were lord arryn's only daughter, and a marriage to you was the most effective manner in which a noble house could strengthen its ties to the vale. lord and lady stark, with minor interference from your parents, were close to making their decision - and your aunt made sure to consult you often in subtle manners, asking whether you'd prefer to remain in winterfell when you marry, asking if you'd like to return to the red keep once you are to have a family of your own. you could not avoid your fates any longer.

╰┈➤ you pondered over what to do for a couple of days, but you knew you had no time to wait. without informing jon, you decided to plea your case to your aunt catelyn - the person you'd always felt closest to in winterfell, from the day you arrived to the present. you knew of her mislike for jon, there wasn't a singular person in winterfell who wasn't aware of it - and yet, during all these years, she hadn't said a word to you of your closeness. you asked for an audience with her in the evening, and you told her everything as you sat with your hands in hers atop the fur carpets by the roar of the fire. you confided in her about how precious jon had always been to you, of how you felt the evening of robin's birth and of how you had love for jon in a way a lady should only have love for her husband. your eyes glistened with unshed tears as you spoke to her of how you feared a betrothal, as you didn't think you could bare being married to anyone else. she listened to you as you spoke. when you finished, she leaned down to give you a kiss on the forehead and exited the room. you never got an answer from her.

╰┈➤ lady catelyn's heart ached from the weight of what she had to do. she resented jon, but she could never truly hate him as a person. she feared what his existence, and the way he looked, may mean for her own children but she could never begrudge you for befriending him. this, however, could be disastrous for all of you - and she needed to put a stop to it. she sought jon out the following morning, before it was time for the family to break their fast. she warned him of what his involvement with you could do to your reputation, and of how marrying him would cause you to lose all that you were born with. a woman has little choice in this world but to marry well, and your singular status as lord arryn's only daughter provided you with a privilege not many women could afford - a privilege you would lose were you to marry him. she urged him to put distance between the two of you, if he cared for you as you claimed he did. it was the first time she'd really acknowledged him, and her words stung - perhaps nearly as deep as her resentment and distance once did.

╰┈➤ you were unaware of the fact that this conversation had even taken place to begin with, and jon's insistence on ignoring you came as a shock. you couldn't tell what you had done wrong and you were unsure of how to reason with him.

╰┈➤ it wasn't easy for him to keep his distance from you either, but he took lady catelyn's words to heart. he truly believed that if he kept his distance from you, then you would have an easier time accepting a potential betrothal - as you were always meant to do. now that he was at a distance from you, he was free to confide in robb - and he found comfort in his brother. it was difficult, keeping his feelings from the man he trusted most to begin with and robb's brotherly teasing, as well as his unspoken understanding helped him cope with his decision. for a time at least.

╰┈➤ this tense situation and the distance between you was broken by the most tragic news of your life - your father and the hand of the king, lord jon arryn, had passed away. in addition to your grief, added pressure was placed upon your shoulders as the news of the royal family's impending visit to winterfell reached you. all of this proved to be too much for you, and you crumbled once again, for the first time since your arrival to the north. it was jon whom you turned to once again, and he couldn't find it in him to turn you down. he held you in his arms as you wept, and as you turned to look to him - you made the bold move you'd never dared to make. you leaned upwards and planted a kiss upon his lips, the salty taste of tears staining both of you. he gave in for a split second, before pulling away - remembering lady catelyn's words. "I intend to promise myself to the night's watch. I've already made my father aware of my decision" he confessed to you, his tone gentle yet final. it was then that you asked him why, your voice on the brink of shattering. he spoke to you of his conversation with lady catelyn, and of the steps he took to make sure your reputation wasn't soiled - of the steps he took to make sure you could still have a good life.

╰┈➤ you left him wordlessly then, anger coursing through every inch of your body. you were angry for a multitude of reason - at your father, for sending you to winterfell to begin with. at the world, for taking your father from you before you'd had the chance to see him once more. at your aunt catelyn and jon, for making decisions that concerned you without even thinking to consult you.

╰┈➤ you withdrew to yourself, simply going through the motions as you prepared for the king and his family to arrive at winterfell. you felt no joy at the prospect of seeing him once again, and the thought of his visit served as nothing more than a reminder that you were truly never going to see your father again. you were courteous but curt in all your exchanges, but you exchanged nothing more than pleasantries with all those around you. jon tried to speak with you often, to ensure that you two weren't going to go your separate ways on such poor terms - but he was unsuccessful. you had switched places, with you now ignoring his attempts to speak with you as he had done weeks before.

╰┈➤ the issues between you two and your pointed attempts to ignore him are once again put on hold with all the madness that follows the royal family's visit - bran's accident, your mother's letter to catelyn and the king's offer to lord stark all become topics much more pertinent than jon's upcoming departure and your potential betrothals, and the two of you settle into a peaceful coexistence within the last few days of his stay at winterfell. in truth, as you came to accept your father's death and the unfortunate fate that befell bran, you came to the conclusion that the short time you had with one another was a precious thing, not to be wasted - and you sought him out often, just as you once did.

╰┈➤ the morning he was set to leave for the night's watch, you rose early in the hour of the nightingale- and you sought him out. you walked to the godswood once more, your arm brushing against his. "I believe that I have loved you all my life. I believe that I will love you for the rest of it" you admitted to him as he reached out to grasp your hands in his, a sad smile making its way across your face. "I have loved you all my life, and I will love you for the rest of it" he vowed to you as he leaned down to press his final, gentle kiss upon your lips. you needn't have spoken words of forgiveness or talked much of anything else. you were overcome with a melancholic contentedness in that very moment. jon left his home with his uncle benjen within the next few hours, but he left his heart in winterfell with you.

╰┈➤ that very same evening, you wept in your aunt catelyn's arms. her kiss upon your forehead felt the same as your mother's on the day you last saw her - on the day you left your home behind.

a/n : and that's where I think I'm going to end this! if I ever feel like it, I may revisit jon and arryn!reader later down the line - perhaps with a quick rewrite of season and a happier ending than I gave them here. the original version of this fic is still in my drafts, but I legitimately hated the pacing and the dynamic between jon and reader felt rushed so I rewrote the whole thing - I'm still not fully happy with it, but I much prefer this version and I'm more comfortable publishing it. I hope you enjoy reading this, and please be sure to leave some constructive criticism as I do think there are some parts here that I think can be improved. please do forgive me if the pacing feels slightly off, I struggled quite a bit with this prompt and I legitimately could not write this fic a third time nor expand on it more to try and make it more sensible.

as always, I'm tagging several different characters to help get the post out to as many people as possible, but I do write for all of the characters tagged below so please feel free to request something for them.

- ', ꒱ ↷ tabitha.

╰┈➤ tabitha is one of the characters most connected with the strange place the residents of the town are trapped in - from her childhood dreams of the three red stones to the spectral, hyaline children only she and jade can truly see, she's shrouded in mysteries to which not even she herself has an answer. someone curious and with an open-mind, willing to assist her and help find answers and uncover the truth of what's going on would be a person she could easily find herself bonding with. jim's single-minded refusal to come to terms with the fact that circumstances in their personal hellscape don't have to make sense was what severed the marriage already hanging on by a thread and tabitha couldn't handle being with another partner who resists understanding that and tries to back away from all the strageness of their environment. her potential partner should be someone who wholeheartedly wants to know the same answers she's trying to discover, and who would contribute to her search with their own time and effort. from minor things like bouncing ideas of what something could mean to standing by her as she decides to venture into the underground cavern where the monsters rest - the ideal partner for her would be one that could face it all, with her.

╰┈➤ this is a woman that yearns to be listened to, and as the relationship between her and a potential partner develops, tabitha will need to feel seen and understood. her partner encouraging her to share her grief with them and taking the concerns she shares with them seriously would allow for the dynamic between her and someone else to develop from a platonic one to something different. listening to her doesn't simply mean absorbing the things she say and validating them but consequently doing nothing about them - no, it means standing by her as she makes decisions and venturing into the unknown by her side. someone attentive and decisive could do both of these things and that would allow her to realise that they're someone she can share the burden on her shoulders with.

╰┈➤ it's pretty obvious that tabitha doesn't want an overprotective partner - jim's attempts to be that didn't go over well, and all it did was widen the chasm between the two former spouses. she's an adult woman, and standing by her as she ventures into danger would be preferred to attempting to keep her away from potential threats. she will go near them regardless - she needs to. she's decided what her purpose is, what she needs to do and she's strong-willed enough to not be deterred to it. regardless of who her partner is, that won't change. on the other hand, tabitha would appreciate the person she's involved with wanting to protect her children - and trying to bond with them. despite the distance between them, caused by thomas' death and exacerbated by everything that followed, her love for them is infinite and they mean the world to her. no partner of hers should strive to take jim's place in the children's lives - they wouldn't respond well to it, the love they have for their father is immeasurable - but they wouldn't be opposed to having a friendly and even a somewhat familial relationship with their mother's new partner. if they came to know about this relationship after the events that followed jade's violin performance under the bottle tree, they may be initially resistant to said partner - but they would come around to it as long as their mother's partner was respectful to their father and what they've experienced.

╰┈➤ I can see tabitha as being particularly drawn to intelligent people who are well-educated in one field. her first husband was an engineer, and the reincarnation of her first self's husband used to be a successful software developer right before him and his childhood friend made their way around the fallen tree. whether the person she was involved in specialised in a stem science or something else, she would love the way their mind works - the connections they find in the most unassuming of things and the wild, unthinkable ideas that few would be capable of executing. when she listens to them speak, she can imagine a future in which they can simply relax and rant to her about whatever brilliant idea they have in mind. if she succeeds in rescuing the children, perhaps they will someday be able to.

- ', ꒱ ↷ jim.

╰┈➤ a man whose primary priority is his family, I can see jim with somebody who's more family-oriented - whether that be an individual who ended up in town with their family and is fiercely protective of them or simply someone who refuses to give up on returning home in hope of reuniting with their loved ones. while he's not always on the track to a father of the year award, and his actions often come across as misguided and counterintuitive, his love for julie and ethan is undeniable and I can't see him with a partner that doesn't put in effort to bond with his children. spending quality time with julie and coming up with stories with ethan are the way to his heart. if his partner was a single parent themselves, he would do his best to help them out and try to fill that role of a second parent for their child - after all, the role of a family man forms a large part of his identity, and someone who wants that from him would suit him well. dancing to that particular tune - aside from any potential children, whether the family his partner is close with consists of parents, siblings, other relatives, children or even chosen family in the form of friends that became such, jim would put effort into getting to know them well.

╰┈➤one of the main reasons his marriage to tabitha came to an end is ultimately the fact that that they had an incredibly hard time communicating after the passing of their youngest son - grief impacts different people differently, and it wasn't until they were stuck in an unavoidable situation that they discussed it. henry's advice and jade's call-back to reality were what encouraged him to change his outlook and prioritise communication, as opposed to his previous manner of dealing with issues by burying his head beneath the sand and simply doing what he thinks is best for those involved. with this in mind, jim needs to be with someone who's capable of communication, especially when stuck in a death-trap town and navigating boundaries with tabitha as a woman he still cares for as the mother of his children and figuring out what kind of role his partner would have in the lives of his two children. he's recognised what's doomed his first marriage and he's determined not to repeat his mistakes - but he cannot work issues out by himself. the right partner for jim would be one that is open with him and actively talks about the things that bother them and pushes him to do the same.

╰┈➤ jim is the protective type that worries about his partner and while he has learned to take a step back - he'd still fare better with a partner that doesn't mind said protectiveness. he's not going to revert back to threatening other people into staying away from his significant other or discourage them from doing what they think is best for them, but he'll need to be allowed to linger near - to alleviate his fears and lull him into a sense of security. he functions better when he's in a situation where he thinks he can protect his partner, even if that may not necessarily be true in reality. and while he may not even be aware of it himself, he would benefit from someone being protective over him as well - he's used to being in the self-imposed role of the protector and he won't abandon it, but he truly does need someone to look after him tell him that things will be okay, just as he's always convincing the people around him that they will be.

╰┈➤ both him and tabitha have both felt misunderstood and unheard in the final stages of their marriage, and I truly think jim needs to feel valued by the individual he chooses to commit to. seeking out his opinion, keeping him in the loop with what they're up to, doing little things for him and reminding him that they love him are things that would make him feel more secure in the relationship and help him heal from the wounds of the past. eventually, he may even feel seen enough to open up about thomas' death, and his partner may contribute to healing the emotional chasm between him and tabitha and help establish a friendly dynamic that is free of resentment. the support that this kind of relationship with his partner brings helps him to swap out his poorer traits for better ones and to improve as a person. the people that know him best can see the positive changes in him - and they know whose responsible for them. they are grateful for it, just as he himself is.

- ', ꒱ ↷ jade.

╰┈➤ whether they were a resident of the town before he arrived or ended up there with him, any potential partner of jade's would need to be abundantly patient with him in the days following toby's death. from his convinction that the entire situation was a practical joke set up by his childhood friend through his visions of bloodied men all the way to his fixations on the radio, the symbol in christopher's notebook and the bottle tree, the person who wants to be with him can't be someone that gets easily frustrated. early on he's often running around and trying to solve one mystery or the other, and it will take time for him to adjust to the situation - and when he does, he'll be seeking out his partner's assistance to help him untangle the muddled web of mysteries the town is deeply engulfed in.

╰┈➤ jade needs a partner with whom he can be on the same wavelength as. someone who can keep up with his frenzied train of thoughts and come back at him with theories and ideas of their own. additionally, someone brave and bold enough to venture out into the woods and explore to try and discover something new, like boyd fell into the cave with the talismans or kenny and jim stumbled upon the food, would be the perfect match for him. this kind of partner would be courageous enough to venture into the tunnels victor and tabitha found themselves in with him - but reserved enough not to attempt venturing into a faraway tree like dale did.

╰┈➤ up until recently an entrepreneur who had just made it big, jade would prefer a genuine and honest partner as opposed to someone who would sugarcoat things or tell him white lies to spare his feelings. if they think he's acting in a way they don't agree with - whether it's him snapping at victor for refusing to talk to him or skipping town meetings, he'd rather they tell him directly than keep their feelings to themselves. aside from disagreements, this applies to their feelings towards him and the situation they're in, he'd rather be aware of what they're going through than have them suffer through it without a word - even if at times he may not be able to help, he'd do his best to try. in addition to that, he'd find it easier to confide in someone he finds trustworthy - and someone who doesn't lie to him would be just that.

╰┈➤ out of all the townspeople, I see jade as the one who would benefit most from having a significant other whose love language is quality time. he's always up in his own head, plagued by scribbled symbols and haunted by the imagery of the departed, such as the civil war soldier and christopher. his partner knowing when to put their foot down and drag him away from all of that to give his brain a much-needed break would benefit him greatly. whether it's helping out tian chen at the diner, gathering something in the woods or just sitting in their room together, it's still a break regardless. the first few times he actually allows himself to take a break he feels as if he should be doing more, his hands twitching to arrange bottles and his eyes darting around the room at all times. once he realises how much lighter he feels after simply sitting with his partner as they talk about the most mundane things, he initiates these little breaks himself. he finds himself staring at the person he loves as they talk about ordinary things - the food they miss from home, what they managed to help out with around town that day, how they're considering taking up wood-carving. for a few brief moments, all the noise in his head quiets down.

- ', ꒱ ↷ kenny.

╰┈➤ the town's deputy is one of the very few people that was trapped with his entire immediate family. with the language barrier between his parents and his father's progressing dementia, one of kenny's primary goals is to keep them as safe and comfortable as he possibly can. I can see him developing feelings for somebody who bonds with his parents before they bond with him, whether that be someone who helps kristi and gina look after bing-qian or assists tian chen and sara in feeding the townspeople. his parents' fondness of them would naturally make him consider the person a friend, but it would be his own interactions with them that would lead to the formation of romantic feelings.

╰┈➤ kenny is one of the few characters I could see falling in love with a more reserved and withdrawn partner. being the town's deputy, he's one of the few individuals in town that comes into contact with most of its trapped inhabitants - and he's one of the few people that gets the chance to properly meet even those who find themselves unable or unwilling to take the leap to befriend or pursue someone. he's a helpful young man, in the role of boyd's right-hand man out of the pure desire to make life easier for those around him and try and keep this hellish place together. he'd take the effort to get to know someone who doesn't really talk to people much outside of their responsibilities, but who still comes off as a good and kind soul. eventually, they'd let open up to him and let him know who they truly are - their own qualities and flaws, as well as his desire to feel wanted and needed would result in him falling in love relatively quickly.

╰┈➤ his partner needs to be somebody kemny can consider trustworthy - sara's involvement in his father's death and boyd's decision to keep her out of the box and at his side have impacted him profoundly, not to mention shattered his faith in the people around him. his partner should be someone who isn't opposed to keeping him looped in in all of their major decisions and who can share all discoveries they consider important with him. he's not too affected by white lies and sugar-coating - but he does place a great deal of faith in his significant other, and it would be cruel to let him down. obviously, he'd appreciate his partner placing that same level of trust in him, and I can't imagine him doing anything to betray it.

╰┈➤ an aspiring polyglot, an individual with an affinity for learning languages, would be just the right kind of partner to try and help keep kenny tethered. he's one of the few characters with ties to his origin - his language and his culture, despite the fact that he went by an anglicised name to fit into his texan community. learning mandarin would bring his partner close to both him and his family - and bring him and his partner closer as he deals with loss after loss. in the evenings, when the curtains are drawn and the lamp's yellowish hue envelops the room, his partner would sit with their back resting against his chest as they try their hardest to memorise words and phrases - he'd correct then gently when they made a mistake, a warm feeling in his chest and a sense of pride at their effort. alternatively, if his partner was a native mandarin speaker themselves, I can see him having conversations in it more often - hopeful that he'd never really lose that connection to his culture as long as they're around. when death comes knocking and the monsters take the lives of his father and afterwards his mother, his partner knowing at least the basics of his native language allows him that closeness to his parents that nobody else can give him. they've left their impact on his partner too. the conversation he could have in his native language and his mother's unmatched recipes haven't left with them, they live on in him and the person he loves - the person that's now become his only living family. his partner was family to his parents as well - even if they never got to say it outloud. he'll protect what's left of that unit. he'll do it because he loves all of them, because he's not sure he could survive another loss.

- ', ꒱ ↷ kristi.

╰┈➤ a third year med student at the time of her vanishing, kristi's a character painfully aware of what she's left behind and how much she has lost. she's not going to dive head first into a relationship - and if feelings do form, she's going to suppress them out of respect for her estranged fiancee. a friendship with someone who doesn't immediately develop feelings would be the ideal first step towards forming a longlasting bond with her. there initially being no romantic undertones would help her feel more comfortable around this new individual - but them being someone she can freely confide in and emotionally there for her would be the turning point in her developing feelings for them.

╰┈➤ kristi could benefit from a humorous partner who can make her laugh - she's got a front-row seat to all the grim, grotesque aspects of life in the town, from minor things such as sprained ankles and broken bones to the horrifying ones such as burial preparations for mangled corpses and monster autopsies. if anyone needs some light in their life, it's the town's resident nurse. she enjoys listening to them regardless of whether they're silly pick-up lines her partner blurts out at random or exaggerated anecdotes from their life before the township. she may not always have the strength to laugh at them, but when her eyes light up and her lips turn into a half-formed smile - her significant other can rest assured that their attempts at humour have been successful.

╰┈➤ if her and her partner are already involved when the bus comes into town, they'd need to understand the situation and give her some space. marielle is her fiancee, and their relationship didn't end because either of them wanted it, but because they were separated by whatever entity or force has been dragging people into the town. she's naturally going to need some time to figure out how to proceed, and the depth of her feelings towards her new partner coupled with the unresolvable tension between her and marielle would ultimately bring their relationship to its conclusion. that being said, her partner would still need to be someone compassionate, who can respect her past and the fact that her former fiancee is an important part of her life. the pediatric nurse fell back into addiction while dealing with kristi's disappearance, and a partner who can keep a respectable distance from her but still care about her well-being and support kristi in navigating this new dynamic between her and the only person she knew before she was trapped here would be truly a great partner for her.

╰┈➤ circling back to the fact that kristi is one of the few people in town that truly has to see all of its horrors up-close, her partner would need to be someone with a comforting nature, who knows how to offer her reassurance and solace even in the darkest of times. there are times where humour truly isn't going to be anything but a hindrance, and those are the times where she's truly going to need someone to fall back on. I can't see her wanting to be touched in those moments - the images of guts, blood and death overwhelming her thoughts. that being said, I can see her accepting small gestures from her partner. a hot cup of tea, made with herbs randall's found down in the forest. the one blanket she has, draped over her shoulders as she shivers. the gentle murmurs of her partner's voice, spoken so quietly as to not disturb her while she's processing the monstrosity she's had to look at most recently. she's been building a wall between them since day one - they've been tearing it down little by little. at this point, they know exactly how to do it.

- ', ꒱ ↷ marielle.

╰┈➤ a young pediatric nurse battling an addiction, marielle ended up in the inescapable town on her way to a rehabilitation centre. in a world where her and kristi's relationship doesn't survive the turmoil of kristi's disappearance and marielle's subsequent relapse, I can see her being drawn to someone she considers reliable. someone who offers to help her sort out supplies from the ambulance, double-checks all the windows to make sure they're shut as sunset gathers and silently supports her as she navigates life in an environment where murderous monsters are an every-night occurrence and the only person she knows is her ex-fiancee. being able to rely on somebody aside from kristi alone helps her transition into this strange situation and provides her with a support system - while it isn't the same as the proper help she'd receive in a rehabilitation sense, it is still something that makes her want to fight and resist the urge to dig through the medicine cabinet.

╰┈➤ marielle wouldn't want to be with somebody who is constantly hovering over her or constantly fretting over her struggle with addiction. she struggles to acknowledge how much impact it has had on her, and she desires to be treated like any other regular person - she's doing her best, she's a nurse and she wouldn't deplete the little resources they have and she couldn't stand it if someone she cared for deeply, trusted and respected thought otherwise. in addition to that, kristi is still an important person to her regardless, and she doesn't want her to feel responsible for her relapse, and she doesn't want to discuss it with people other than her partner to begin with. it's completely normal for her significant other to be concerned with her wellbeing, but they need to respect her boundaries when it comes to a matter as complex as this. she can confide in them in the moments where she feels at ease enough to talk about it, but she shouldn't be pressured to do so unless her partner notices a genuine cause for concern.

╰┈➤ as the only medical expert in town aside from kristi, marielle has a lot on her plate in her day-to-day life - most notably fatima's strange non-pregnancy. her significant other being a perceptive and helpful individual would help alleviate some of the burden off her. taking note of which medicinal herbs are missing and venturing out to retrieve them from the forest and making sure to drag her out to the diner for a proper meal and a well-deserved break are all gestures that may appear small, but mean the world to her in the long run. little things like these make her life easier in the long run, and it makes her feel supported and cared for. she's grateful for these gestures, and she does her best to make sure she lets her partner know how much she appreciates them and the things they do for her.

╰┈➤ keeping what I said in the second paragraph in mind, I do still see marielle as an individual who would benefit from and enjoy having an affectionate and touchy significant other. she's been starved of physical comfort ever since kristi went missing, and seeking out a new relationship was the last thing on her mind back in the real world - now, however, it's one of the few luxuries she can afford. during late evenings, she buries herself into her partner's embrace with her head tucked tightly into the crook of their neck. death still lurks beyond the front door, but the curtains are drawn and their voices are incomprehensible, and it allows her to shut it all out. the night nicky is killed and she has to patch up randall, her partner holds her hand wordlessly - knowing that no words could truly comfort her in that moment. the morning after she has another nightmare about what she, julie and randall have endured, her partner gently strokes her back and waits for her to start speaking. it's in these touches that she finds the strength to believe that everything might be okay - that they may just make it out of there alive.

- ', ꒱ ↷ randall.

╰┈➤ while randall may initially come across as brusque, aggressive and overall disagreeable, an individual prone to seeing the good in others may take note of his willingness to help jim search for tabitha in the aftermath of their basement caving in or his foolish yet well-meaning attempt to force donna to open the diner door in an attempt to save the distrustful people outside from the dangerous monsters lurking within the dark. a more optimistic individual would be able to look past the rough exterior and see him not as a loose canon and a potential threat, but rather a man worth getting to know.

╰┈➤ upon his arrival to town, he's incredibly distrustful of everyone around him so I think an individual who knows how to keep their distance initially but still lets him know that they're willing to help him adjust would be the kind of person he'd most willingly let in. taking the time and effort to let him know that the offer to show him around the town or talk to him is on the table but still not constantly approaching him enough to make him suspicious of your role in what he originally perceives as some sick experiment is the most successful path to take for him to first tolerate, and then later on enjoy their company. as stubborn as he is, in a situation as horrifying as the one he's trapped in - very few would choose complete isolation over companionship and some semblance of normalcy.

╰┈➤ randall likes his personal space, but as a partner I see him as quite protective, constantly looking out for the person he's involved with. coupled with the fact that living on the bus with no curtains to separate him from the human-like creatures slinking around the town at night, he'd be more likely to want to move in with his partner not long after the relationship is established, and someone who is open for cohabitation relatively soon into the relationship would suit him better than somebody who would like to take their time with it. that way, not only is he able to get away from the creatures, but he's also able to keep an eye on his partner and ensure their safety throughout the night.

╰┈➤ he's one of the few people in town to be directly impacted by the music-box monster, and the only person the monsters left alive after torturing. he survived the worst threats the townspeople've encountered firsthand, and it's plain to see that he felt abandoned by boyd on the night that the ambulance came into town. if he was protective beforehand, afterwards I think he'd prefer to be with a partner who seeks him out all the time and after being left for dead in favour of other people, he needs to feel as if he's somebody's priority. and for the person that does give him that lifeline, that seed of trust they've placed in him would grow exponentially - the person whose priority he is would ultimately be his priority as well. whatever the future holds, whether they're trapped in that hellscape or make it back to the safety of the real world, they're in it together. wherever they go, randall will follow.

- ', ꒱ ↷ donna.

╰┈➤ aside from boyd himself, donna is one of the town's authority figures as the leader of colony house. those that choose the flower and choose to live under her roof, choose to life for today because tomorrow isn't guaranteed - and I can see donna falling for a partner who shares that stance. she's seen so much loss - from her sister's screams that still ring in her ears to the massacre that followed kevin foolishly opening the window for a monster he'd found himself besotted with, tomorrow is truly never guaranteed. someome spontaneous and lively, who makes the days a little less bleak and the nights a little more bearable may be just what donna needs after all the tears she's spilled in secret. pulling her aside for a lunch date at the edge of the woods and convincing her to take a day to the brundles every once in a while may be just what she needs to soothe her soul.

╰┈➤ following tense situations such as the colony house massacre, the arrival of the bus in town and the harvest of rotten crops, donna's significant other needs to be her rock - someone truly dependable whom she can rely on when the entire town is relying on her. she's rarely ever vulnerable - and when she breaks down, she deserves the luxury of being able to do it in someone's arms. while she does hold a position of authority in town, her hold over the people isn't quite as firm as she would like it to be during times of frenzy and despair. if her partner was to disagree with one of her decisions - it would be wiser to discuss their stance with her away from the mass of people who may already be hesitant to follow orders they have doubts about.

╰┈➤ donna considers the people of colony house to be her family - and her partner would need to integrate themselves as a part of that. they don't need to necessarily agree with or be friends with all of the people there, but they need to have some respect for them - and look out for all of their safety, just as the other colony house members would for them. that's truly one of the things that matters most to donna and it would make her happy to see her significant other accept that way of life, and the only family she really has.

╰┈➤ donna could truly benefit from a partner who often verbally reassures her. I don't think she hears the praises she needs to hear enough - and while I think she initially may scoff and dismiss them, after some time she would come to truly accept them. she doesn't receive much gentleness in her role as the leader of colony house and while all of the residents of colony house defer to her, I would argue that only a few are truly appreciative of all she does - very few take the time to express it, which is understandable given the situation they're in. her partner reminding her that they love her or declaring that they're proud of how well she's handling things despite all the adversity surrounding her may be things that she's not used to hearing, but they are things that she realises she needed to hear. her sister's screams are still ringing in her ears - but a familiar voice pops up every once in a while, repeating declarations of love. these sounds represent two polar opposite memories - and yet, they both urge her to keep going.

- ', ꒱ ↷ boyd.

╰┈➤ as the town's leader, boyd is expected to shoulder the weight of the world - the people look to him to be their symbol of home, to find a way out, to reassure them when the going gets tough. it's a heavy burden, and he needs somebody to share the weight of it with him. he can put up a front to the people around him, but when the night falls and the monsters come knocking at the windows, somebody needs to be there to guide him away from their whispers and the depths of his own thoughts.

╰┈➤ being sympathetic to the losses he's had to endure would go a long way. abby and father khatri both meant a great deal to him, and he's haunted by the memories of them. trapped in a perpetual circle of death and arrivals, it's not like he's had much time to deal with his own grief. being willing to listen to him talk about them, even asking him a couple of questions about things he's never really found the space to talk about could help him start to process all that he's been through. what was abby like before you got here? how did you and father khatri go about convincing the people that the talismans worked?

╰┈➤ the former soldier is also the town's most prominent authority figure, but that's not to mean that his reasoning isn't without flaw. somebody who can present themselves as authoritive and a voice of reason would help boyd with thinking some actions through. when in agreement with boyd, they could help to keep the townspeople safe by echoing and further solidifying his orders. when he's intent on keeping people in the dark to prevent frenzied panic, his partner should be there to remind him to bring donna up to speed - even suggest when the people are relentlessly yelling at tabitha for not seeking help, his partner should be there to reinforce the notion that they don't know enough about faraway trees to attempt trips down through them.

╰┈➤ boyd is fiercely protective of his family, and he would expect the person he's with to care for them as well. ellis and fatima mean the world to him, and he's willing to step over the moral boundaries he's set for himself to protect them. I can't see him with somebody who wouldn't take the effort to befriend his family and I can see him being more drawn to a potential partner who behaves in an approachable manner toward his most beloved. if his partner is around before the arrival of the matthews family, he'd be likely to confide in them about the regret he feels over his torn relationship with his son, as well as rejoice with them when ellis reaches out to attempt to repair it. boyd may have very little time to participate in the impromptu wedding by walking fatima down the aisle, but his partner helping her get ready and lending ellis a listening ear to recite his vows would ultimately draw them into the fold of this small family and solidify their place by his side.

- ', ꒱ ↷ ellis.

╰┈➤ the sheriff's son is an artistically inclined character, and I could see him connecting with someone who also finds comfort in some form of artistry - whether that be painting, writing, pottery, music or a completely different art form. he'd be incredibly supportive of them if they refused to surrender their passion and insisted on perfecting their craft regardless of how long they've been stuck in town, not to mention that it would cause his respect for them to grow exponentially. I can see ellis keeping an eye out for and bringing his significant other supplies - be that cutting down his own stack of paper and coal or discovering clay and gathering some for them.

╰┈➤ ellis is quite possibly the most romantic soul in town - and the most devoted. he'd enjoy spending a vast majority of his time with his partner, and the person he's with should be someone who truly wants to spend most of their time with him as well. he'd plan out dates as often as he could, and they'd range from preparing breakfast in the kitchen together while laughing to cozy, quiet morning strolls in the woods as him and his significant other simply bask in eachother's presence. often, he couldn't care what they're doing - as long as they're together.

╰┈➤ as is made obvious with his appreciation for fatima, ellis has a soft spot for kind and amiable people who try to be helpful and welcoming towards others. an individual that goes out of their way to help new people adjust and lends those struggling a listening ear would be just the kind of person who he'd find himself falling in love with. he would consider himself very fortunate to have a partner like that, not to mention that his significant other would be the person he'd always turn to when he needs to get something off his chest or when he simply needs to feel comforted by holding them close. while his partner shouldn't meddle in his relationship with his father too much - I can see him reaching out to repair it with their support and guidance.

╰┈➤ circling back to the topic of artistry, ellis' is the sort of guy to make his significant other into his muse once he's well and truly head over heels in love with them. he's another character whose love language would be quality time - but in the sense that he could spend hours painting his partner and trying to transfer every feature onto the canvas. he'd try to immortalise whichever features he could - the precise hue of their eyes, the curve of their lips, the bridge of their nose. a partner who could sit with him for hours as he does this, or to be more precise, a partner who is comfortable being his muse would truly suit him better than any other. not only is he immortalising the person he loves, he's immortalising his love for them through his craft. they could both disappear from the world any day now - whether that be at the hands of the vicious creatures that lurk outside the windows or to an unknown entity, but the love they have for one another will remain on the canvas he left behind.

- ', ꒱ ↷ fatima.

╰┈➤ from her first introduction, this beautiful persian woman is presented as welcoming, humorous and full of light. if her future partner was to arrive in town after her, chances are that fatima would be one of the first people to catch their eye. and while she's admired by many, I can see her developing feelings for someone confident, with inner strength to match her own. while setting themselves apart from the other people she's admired by through expressing their interest in her isn't something that would guarantee her reciprocation, it would be something that makes them stand out to her next to all of the other people she's formed strong bonds with. fatima is widely-beloved by her community and the people in it are all very comfortable with her, so if somebody wants her to see them in a romantic light, they have to take the first step towards it.

╰┈➤ fatima is loving and generous, and her character is best seen through her countless gestures to help julie adjust to town and her gifting trudy her favorite sweater. with that in mind, I see fatima's ideal partner as someone truly compassionate - I don't think she would function well with an individual lacking empathy or who has managed to fully distance themselves from the humanity of others, not when she herself feels as deeply as she does. someone who keeps an eye on donna when she's got a lot on her plate or defends victor when new people misunderstand him is likely someone she could connect with much easier than someone whose solely out for themselves and their closest ones. at the centre of that compassion would still be their love for her, and in an environment like their inescapable town, even a person that appears carefree as her needs support. a partner that encourages her to talk to them about how she feels and relentlessly tries to motivate her to keep going, to stay the person she's trying to remain would make life more bearable, even if only by a little bit.

╰┈➤ the daughter of a cleric murdered for his outspoken nature back home in iran, fatima vowed not to allow monsters anywhere in the world to prevent her from living the life. the monsters may come out during the night, but during the day - she's determined to live her life. a romantic partner who puts effort into beautiful gestures would help her truly hold onto that promise. making her laugh with cheesy jokes or organising picnic dates and decorating them with flowers by the brundles are not unachievable - and they ground the relationship as something more than a temporary connection made during distress.

╰┈➤ she would be an incredibly supportive significant other - if her partner was keen on holding onto their passions despite the dreadful situation they find themselves in, she would encourage them to keep pursuing them. whether they were an artist or writer spending the evenings with traces of coal on their fingertips, an aspiring medicine practicioner often revising the things they were taught or striving towards anything else, fatima would be right by their side. she'd take the time to pose for their portraits or to read through their works, to quiz them on the theory of their practice and to make sure that they don't lose hope in those things still being possible. after all, she wants a future with them - and she wants it to be the best one imaginable for both of them.

- ', ꒱ ↷ sara.

╰┈➤ a haunted young woman with an incredibly eerie presence, it's strongly implied that her brother helped her scape an abusive relationship shortly before arriving to fromville. with that in mind, I think sara would appreciate a potential partner who wouldn't immediately insist on a romantic relationship, but rather be her friend first and foremost. she's glad to be out of that situation, but she'd prefer to take things slow, as opposed to rushing into a new relationship. a partner who's content being her friend first and allow for a relationship to develop organically would suit her more than a partner whose immediately prepared to jump into a relationship.

╰┈➤ sara is one of the very few people in town with whom the entities of their entrapment communicate with directly, and it's safe to say that her day-to-day life is directly impacted by this circumstance. an observant partner who can notice the subtle changes in her could help her navigate the struggle of the whispers constantly circulating through her mind. pulling her aside and waiting for the voices to subside, letting her share them with the person she trusts the most makes her feel less alone, finding a way to distract her from the chaos within her mind are all things that could make her life just a little more bearable.

╰┈➤ a figure more feared than she is loved, sara knows she can't take back the things she's done. she can't bring back tobey, gina or bing-qian. she can't undo what she tried to do to ethan. worst of all, she can't bring back nathan - the only family she had. she's riddled with grief and regret, and she can understand the animosity of the people that once considered her a friend and the whispers of people who will only know her as the maddened woman with a trail of blood following her. that doesn't make their loathing and fear any easier to stomach. a partner who doesn't fear her, and reassures her that she can still do good - that she isn't a lost cause, a murderous beast beyond salvation could have a profound impact on her. someone strong-willed and loving, who stands by her even when the entirety of this small world they're stuck in is determined to keep her away.

╰┈➤ sara has little left to remind her of life before her and nathan ended up stranded in town. all she really has to her name is a clumsily pieced-together christmas ornament. being loved by somebody who is creative and fond of gift-giving could provide her with memorabilia to ground her and help remind her that somebody actually cares about her. whether it's a scrap of fabric crafted in a vague shape and hung on a thin string or a wooden box made to keep the little snowman she's kept safe and tucked away, little things would help her feel more 'at home' in a partner's presence and tether her to them as her proper, true home - a patch of salvation in a neverending nightmare.

- ', ꒱ ↷ nathan.

╰┈➤ the caretaker for the town's barn animals at the time of the matthews' arrival, nathan doesn't appear to be close with anyone in town with the exception of his sister. due to this, I can imagine his potential partner being somebody who has a pre-established connection to sara - whether that just be a coworker at the diner who drops by their house when she's forgotten something or a close friend his sister spends a lot of time with. seeing as his proximity to them would make this person somebody he encounters on a daily basis, he'd begin to notice them - and while exchanging pleasantries and taking the time to have a quick conversation with him as they go about their day would endear them to him, it's the little things he takes note of over the course of time that ultimately end up drawing him towards his future partner.

╰┈➤ his potential partner would have to be quite friendly and even the slightest bit assertive to really get anywhere with him, as I don't really see nathan as the one who would take the first step to establish a relationship. finding excuses to come talk to him throughout the day and openly admitting that they enjoy his company would draw him towards them, and he would reciprocate that effort by finding some time to go and talk to them, as well as by checking up on them throughout the day.

╰┈➤ while I see nathan as a quite withdrawn and reserved individual, I can imagine him becoming involved with a more outgoing partner - one that would regularly encourage him to get out of his shell. for the most part, that does simply consist of heading off to the diner with him and roping him into a conversation with whoever may be there - but nobody can claim that those attemps were in vain. while the people he's closest to are still his sister and his significant other, he has grown closer with several other people and started considering them close friends - the most notable of those being kristi and kenny.

╰┈➤ a relationship with nathan could be properly defined as 'private but not secret'. the people around him don't really know much about the details of his relationship, but all of them know that both him and his partner are off limits. I see him as the type to enjoy keeping the private details of his relationship between him and his significant other, and I can't quite imagine him with a partner who would mind that. in public, the farthest he'll go is a gentle peck on the cheek or holding onto their hand - but that's not to say that he comes across as cold or uncaring, not at all. the manner in which he talks about the person he's involved with, even if the things he's saying appear mundane, make it painfully obvious how deeply he cares for them - if the thinly-veiled adoration in his eyes and the slight curve of his lips are anything to go by.

╰┈➤ you understood their fears, truly you did - you could see the sorrow in the eyes of the eldest of your cove, a sorrow you know dates back six millenia. you feared the people that walked on land too, but you didn't fear theon. you sensed the war in his mind, you recognised the sense of not belonging. you sensed it because you felt it too, a young, naive mermaid in a lake of ancient beings - a young, naive mermaid, the first to be born in a thousand years.

╰┈➤ his eighteenth nameday was the first time he rode out of the city to spend his day on the shore of the lake, and you knew that this was the only opportunity you would ever get to see him up close. you crept closer to the shore, allowing your tail and the top of your head to rise slightly above the water's surface and keeping your eyes glued to the image of the man before you.

╰┈➤ he noticed you then, as you unassumingly lifted your head above the water - allowing yourself to glance at him. you knew your elders could not hear of this moment, for you knew how enraged they would be with you. you could not bring yourself to care, for as enamored as theon was with the lake, you were just as enamored with the towering, thick castle walls and the mystery of what lies beyond them. just as something kept calling the greyjoy lad to the lake, something kept calling you to the city.

╰┈➤ a man often accused of vanity by the whispers that surrounded him, theon was enraptured by the otherworldly atmosphere that seemed to surround you. your features were different to what he had been used to considering beautiful, but he found them enchanting to look at nonetheless. he considered capturing you, for a brief moment - he wondered if it would prove something to the starks, that it was only him that could lure a creature of the deep to the surface. he wondered if it would make lord eddard proud, or if it would solidify him as the ironborn he was supposed to be.

╰┈➤ he called out to you then, beckoning you to draw nearer. the people of the iron islands oft spoke of mermaids - of how the grey king was one, and of how he became the king of the western islands and all seas beyond, as well of the drowned god and the mermaids that serve him within the confines of his watery walls. his mother spoke to him of mermaids too, but her tales were always much gentler. she would say that the ironborn would find the most beautiful of mermaids and take them to bride, that the half-fish women would shed their tails for legs and bear their husbands the most beautiful of children, part sea and part land - as all ironborn were meant to be.

╰┈➤ you crept closer to land, nearly close enough that he could reach a hand out to touch your shimmering skin, and yet with enough of a distance between you that you could turn around and return to the depths of your home. your first conversation could hardly be called much of a conversation, and while you could speak the common tongue ( you oft listened to the people speak within the walls, their voices booming and echoing through the cove beneath the city), you had a hard time figuring out what to say to him. for the most part, you simply looked at one another that very first day - until the day's end was near and the hour of the bat was drawing close.

╰┈➤ "I will return. when the sun's returned to the skies on the morrow, I will return. you best be here then." he spoke to you, a tinge of arrogance in his voice. it was as if he knew that you wouldn't defy his request, as if he knew his presence held some power over you - and it pleased him. he held so little power within the stark household, so the hint of it always inflated his sense of self. he knew that you too held some power over him, but he would not speak of it outloud.

╰┈➤ before he had encountered you, he had intended to visit ros that evening. instead, he returned to his chambers rather soon after dinner, content to sleep through the night and wait for the morning to come - the following morning he rose much earlier, quite soon into the hour of the nightingale. it was still dark out, but he wished to fulfill his duties for the day before he set out to see the lake, and the vision discovered the day before, once again. he usually wouldn't be permitted to leave the walls of the city two days in a row, but his nameday had just passed and lord stark was more lenient towards him during that time of the year.

╰┈➤ you waited for him until he arrived, choosing to draw near to the shore just as the sun appeared on the horizon. on this day, you were both much more relaxed. the moment he saw you smile he knew he had no intention of capturing you and bringing you to winterfell, content to keep these peaceful moments to himself - reluctant to share them with anyone else. you felt safer too, now that you had broken the ice and knew he wished you no harm.

╰┈➤ "speak to me of life beneath the waves" he demanded boyishly, that vein of arrogance pouring off his tongue. you minded not, noticing the sorrow beneath his gaze. you knew he was not born of here, and the people of the town oft whispered of the seaside boy taken from his home to come here. you knew it to be him the first moment you saw him dangling his legs off the castle walls. and so you spoke to him of life beneath the waves - of your sisters and brothers, all at least a millenium older than you, of the beautiful cove protected from the human eye and the ephemeral sights only you and your kin could lay eyes upon, of the elders and their refusal to allow you to draw near. he listened intently to all of it, hanging off every word of yours. he wanted to know all of it - wanted to know you more and more with every passing word that left your mouth.

╰┈➤ you spoke to him for hours on end. each time you declared to ask him a question too, he urged you to keep speaking. you spoke until the night drew nearer. he told you that he would return in half a moon's time, as he could not afford to leave the castle walls quite so often. "I will be here when you return, only if you will speak to me of life behind the castle walls" was what you said to him as he prepared to leave. he felt indignant at your words for a few passing moments, but reluctantly agreed to your request as he wished to see you again.

╰┈➤ the next time he returned, he had brought you something. a small iron pendant he acquired at the market, and he had given it to you teasingly, remarking that you should be flattered that the heir to the iron islands had deemed you worthy of such a gift. in truth, he spent the whole way to the lake pondering over if you would like it - and determining that you would with a small huff as his journey drew to a close. this time, he too spoke more freely - of his memories of the iron islands, of his family - mostly of his mother and her tales of mermaids. you laughed then and asked him if that was what he would desire, to which he winked at you playfully and told you that the possibility wasn't far off his mind.

╰┈➤ he spoke to you of what you asked of him too, of life in winterfell, beyond the walls you so often stared at. he spoke to you off lord stark, of his children and namely the boy he grew to consider his brother, robb stark. he spoke to you of archery, of his tourneys and his journeys. you listened just as intently as he had listened to you the last time you saw him. he didn't think he had ever felt this peaceful - at least not since the first time he sat atop the castle walls, the moment he first discovered the lake. as the pale hint of orange seeped into the blues of the sky, you reached out to him once and he grasped your hand in his for a few moments, opting to leave a kiss on the palm of your hand before he retreated to the city as the gentle dusk gave way to the dark night.

╰┈➤ he visited you as often as he could, without causing the stark family to worry whether or not he too was planning to incite a rebellion. he spoke to robb of you once, to assuage the concern his dear friend was beginning to show. he couldn't tell him the full truth, but he told him he met a girl who lived outside the castle walls near the city, and that he found pleasure in your company. he didn't give away too many details, but he was content knowing that robb wouldn't be too concerned with his frequent journeys. he didn't know that it was the tone of his voice and the look in his eyes that reassured his friend, as opposed to the words he so craftfully weaved together.

╰┈➤ it was during his seventh visit to the lake that he kissed you for the first time. you were confiding your sorrows of your elders' distrust to him, and he leaned down to place a kiss upon your brow, as he had begun to do from his fifth visit onwards. you looked up at him then, and he couldn't help leaning down and placing a chaste peck upon your lips, before returning to deepen it. something changed between you and him then, and you began to behave more like lovers from then on.

╰┈➤ his visits to the pleasure house had already grown infrequent the moment he met you. he still had his needs, of course - but he found it hard to find time for them as he was oft attempting to finish with his duties on time to come visit you or attempting to find something in the city that he believed you would like and hide in your cove, to keep only for yourself as he had kept your encounters only for himself. now, however, he was content to accept that he wouldn't be returning there anytime soon, thoughts of you drowning out the idea of anyone else.

╰┈➤ your relationship with theon was a playful one. he oft teased you and you'd respond by splashing water onto his tail in response. his touches were rough but kind, and his kisses were sloppy but loving. you were both content to behave as if there was no distance between what you both were, preferring to banish the question of 'what comes next?' to the back of your minds.

╰┈➤ on his nineteenth nameday, a year into knowing you - theon brought you a small cloth with the image of a yellow kraken sown into it. it was the symbol of his house, and as he couldn't quite cloak you in the traditions of westerosi weddings, he deemed this to be the most likely way to proclaim his devotion. you could wear it on your wrist, claim to your elders that you happened upon it on the shores of the lake and kept it to yourself. you didn't consider yourselves wedded, but theon's prideful exclamations of binding the world's most beautiful creature to himself would stay with you evermore.

╰┈➤ this lighthearted atmosphere was unfortunately not to last. when theon informed you of the king's family arriving to winterfell within a few days' time, you felt an inexplicable feeling of dread come over you. he had noticed it then and assured you that all would be well, that they wouldn't stay that long and that he'd return soon. nothing could keep him away from you, now could it?

╰┈➤ it would be weeks before he'd come to see you again and the sight of him twisted and turned your heart as if tearing it apart. he appeared as lonely and conflicted as he was on the day you first encountered him, the sorrow in his eyes as prominent as ever, dark lines appearing under them. he spoke to you of bran and his accident, of lord stark's capture and of robb's intention to raise the banners and march down south. this time you were the one attempting to reassure him, right up until the very moment he told you that he intended to march down south with robb. you knew that you shouldn't have been as shocked and opposed as you were, but you were afraid. you didn't know much of land, but you always knew of war - of bloodshed, demise and misery. you promised to pray for him then, even if your kind hadn't truly prayed since the vanishing of the children of the forest. you promised to pray to the old gods and the drowned god, to the faith of the seven and any others of whose existence you would come to know of. you saw him off with a heavy heart then.

╰┈➤ you attempted to listen to the people of the city from within your cove for months on end, keeping your ear to the ground for any new information on theon's wellbeing. the townspeople were just as in the dark as you were, and it only made you feel more helpless. you could slowly feel the hope within you begin to fade away as the days dragged on - that was until you finally heard his name from within the city. what you heard however, wasn't what you were expecting to hear. theon greyjoy had captured winterfell.

a/n : and that's it for my first post on this platform! I wasn't quite sure how to end it, but I'm quite content with the way I did. if you guys do want a part 2 that deals with this dynamic with post-reek!theon, please do let me know 🩷 I hope you've enjoyed reading this, and if you did - please do make sure to let me know as feedback is so incredibly important to me. thank you so very much for your time and I hope that you'll consider reading other works of mine that I hope to post on this page soon <33

PS. please do forgive me for adding tags of other characters to this post - it's the first one I've ever made and I'm trying to get my page out for people to see. That being said, I have no intention of tagging characters I don't write for, so please make sure to request them as well if you're interested in seeing more from me.

fear had infiltrated your very bones and made a home of your skeleton the very moment that chemical agent sent you to sleep in that polished, luxurious vehicle you found yourself in on the night you were brought to this hellscape.

you began to think you couldn't feel it anymore — that you truly succeeded in numbing yourself to it.

the sight of her — cornered against the ivory tiles of the wall as thanos' nameless sidekick slithered close to her in all of this unbidden chaos, made you realise that you were not numb to fear. your body stilled at the sight, and your eyes darted around the room in a desperate attempt to locate something you could use to incapacitate him. you thought of him as hyena-like from the moment him and the purple-haired rapper he trailed behind first approached you and the girl who'd taken you under her wing. you had no idea how spot on your assessment was until this very moment.

you knew she was going to die if you didn't succeed in wrestling that silver fork out of his hand, and all thoughts of self-preservation abandoned you at the thought of her lying in a pool of her own blood.

as you made your first step, a figure on the top of the tallest bed caught your gaze. min-su tossed his bottle on the top of nam-gyu's head, allowing it to break into a thousand of pieces and cut into the other man's skin. se-mi saw her opportunity to sink down and grab a shard in her hand and lunged at him. you made your way closer, the rowdy noises of violence concealing your quiet steps and grasped a shard in your own hand carelessly, as your skin screamed in agony.

he over-powered her, and he was about to slit her throat on the spot. you were no murderer, of course not — you could never willingly, knowingly take a life. but in that moment, you knew only one of them would live. and you knew that it needed to be her. there was no time for hesitation, so you didn't hesitate.

he was grasping at his throat as pools of crimson spurted down his neck and onto the pine green tracksuit. the white number 124 on his breast was drenched in liquid. the same liquid that coated your shaking hand and the shard that slipped its grasp the moment you saw he was no longer moving.

his eyes were empty — you imagined yours were too. you wanted to cry, you wanted to scream, you wanted to rub your hands over and over again until there was no trace of his blood ever having dripped down onto them.

"we need to hide. now" she proclaimed urgently, her unmarred hand grabbing your soiled one. you let her pull you under one of the beds as she nestled in close to you, hopeful that you wouldn't be discovered before the violent event came to its conclusion. you could see now that she was shaking too. you allowed her to keep your hand in hers, and prayed that you'd both remain undiscovered.

.・。.・゜✭・.・✫・゜・。..・。.・゜✭・.・

the water rushes down from the faucet as red pools towards the drain. it doesn't look as thick anymore. it almost looks like wine now. se-mi's watchful eyes rest on you as you scrub the remainders of nam-gyu off your moist skin.

"I didn't get a chance to thank you, last night. you saved my life" she breaks the silence as her hands sink into her pockets. "if you hadn't done what you did... he would have killed me." you know the realisation is difficult for her too. if it weren't for a shard of glass, she would be dead now. the shards of glass shattered across the bedding reminded you both of what happened the night before when you crawled out from underneath the springs of your bed.

"so did min-su. he threw the bottle. I just..." you trail off, the words almost unspeakable. "I made a choice." you decide that's the right thing for you to say.

"I'm glad you're still alive." you declare, and if you were anywhere else in the world, it would sound strange and morbid and nothing like a declaration of affection. she understands what you mean. "I'm glad you're still alive, too" she says it back, and with her words a tinge of light makes its journey back into your eyes. a chuckle of relief escapes you, and soon enough you've both burst into giggles as hysterical tears drip down onto your cheeks.

the sight of the man you killed may return to haunt you in the night — but during the day, your thoughts are consumed by her. you want it to stay that way.

.・。.・゜✭・.・✫・゜・。..・。.・゜✭・.・

your hands are gentle as you press the water-soaked cloth to the gash on her hand. the glass left its mark on her too — as did nam-gyu's attempts to bring her life to an untimely end with the fork he lifted from thanos' neck.

"stay still." you beg her, as you tear off a piece of the bedding to wrap her her hound. you make sure to shake it first, as tiny fragments of glass shattered across the floor. your movements are precise, and yet you're careful not to cause her anymore pain. God knows she's experienced too much of it recently.

"you've been holding out on me. could've gotten into a fight with that ass on day one if I knew you were going to patch me up" se-mi teases as she does her best to stop moving while you finish tying the cloth around her palm. you roll your eyes, but you can't stop the edges of your lips from curling up into an amused smile. "I guess it never came up" you answered with the same tone of voice, your mouth making a 'pop' sound as you drawled out the last letter.

"we should go see that band you like, when we get out." she remarks almost unexpectedly, and you find yourself caught off-guard. "you remembered that?" you pose the question, your eyebrows slightly lifting. "of course. I remember everything you've told me." she responds, and you know now that something really has changed between the two of you. before, she looked out for you — but she was sarcastic, reserved, almost distant. now she's itching to lean closer to you, and you know you'll let her.

"we can get ready together, wear matching jackets." you answer her proposition, as your hand finds hers this time. she holds it tightly, her thumb rubbing gentle circles into the soft skin. "we can." she agreed.

"if we're lucky enough, we can take min-su with us... and visit the nice old lady who invited me to her place for dinner." you add, a renewed hope forming in your bones. it's infiltrated you farther than the fear could. she nods at that, with an expression of genuine joy on her face.

the sight of it fills you with affection — and with courage too. you lean forward until your lips reach hers, and she places a hand on the back of your neck. as you pull apart, you make a silent promise to yourself. you'll get her out of there — and you'll do your hardest to get out too.

The first thing the girl noticed about her surroundings was the silver of the full moon. She was in a small clearing, wildflowers littering the ground around her up to the point where the dark oak trees sprouted from the ground and surrounded the clearing in a circular manner. She was in the middle of the forest — but where? Beyond that, why was she so cold?

The girl — Marlowe was her name, or at least the only one she remembered (or was it Blythe? maybe it was Marceline?), glanced down to see a drift of snow formed beneath her. The rest of the clearing was clearly already experiencing springtime, but winter rested beneath her.

Her lips and legs were trembling, and she could feel herself shivering all over, but she knew she couldn’t stay here. She remembered someone’s warning about wolves and bears in the woods where they went camping — but whose warning? And whom did she go camping with? She stood up with shaky steps, bare feet moving across the grass. She didn’t know where she was headed, but something within her told her in which direction to move, and she listened. Afterall, where else could she go?

Beyond the confusion and uncertainty, something else was beginning to pool in this girl’s mind and heart. An irrevocable rage was beginning to take over her body with every flash of red hair that appeared before her eyes. An inexplicable sense of grief was clouding her thoughts as she heard the sound of laughter. A lingering fear found its way in with the smell of embers and a withering fire. Faces, names and voices were coming and going in waves, blurring together in her mind — she couldn’t remember any of them. Blythe, short brown hair, Letha, curly dark-blonde hair and dorky glasses, Roman, Pauline, Marceline, Brooke, Mateo. Her legs wobbled as she tried to shut them all out, as she tried to suppress the sting of memory.

The last thing she saw was a dark-haired girl, green-eyed and visibly distressed sitting outside of three yellow tents in the very clearing where she awoke. Her hands were struggling to set on fire the sad pile of wood in front of her, and the thin blanket huddled over her shoulders was doing very little to shield her from the cold. she saw her collapse then, saw her fall asleep as the snow fell and covered her body in its entirety. she could feel the cold within her turning to something more unbearable — an inexplicable heat searing into her skin. An anguished scream tore through her and echoed through the woods around her, as she fell to her knees. She didn’t know much, but there were two things she knew for sure. Firstly, whomever she was here with left her for dead. Secondly, she was in so much pain — and she wanted it to stop. She had to find a way to make it stop.

Somewhere, in the distance, a wolf howled. The sound of it shook her out of her daze, but it didn’t motivate her to get a move on. Irrationally, the girl screamed once again as the sound echoed through the green foliage above. 

For a minute, there was only silence. After the silence came the sound of footsteps. The creature approached her at a rapid speed, as its paws pattered and stomped through the countless layers of mud and dirt sprawled across the forest floor. The girl wasn’t sure if it was coming to put her out of her misery. Moreover, wasn’t sure if she would oppose it. 

It appeared to her almost as a shadow, distant in one second and directly in front of her in the next. The wolf stilled the moment its gaze met hers. It was enormous, or at the very least, she concluded that it was. She had never seen a wolf up close until this very moment. The fur on its back was pitch black, shaggy and just slightly wet, but it looked comfortable. The area under its mouth was maroon and moist, and if it weren’t for its eyes, the sight of it would have terrified her. Its eyes were what truly confounded her. Its irises were almost golden. There was a humanlike quality to its pupils, and she could have sworn there were emotions swirling within their depths. Fear. Concern. Confusion to rival her own. 

The wolf moved towards her slowly, in stark contrast to how it had reached her. Perhaps, if she hadn’t been so disoriented, she would have ran from it — and yet, she didn’t. It nuzzled her arm and pushed her once, as if to check her over for any injuries. Once it had determined that she was fine, it moved away from her and back towards where it came from. She rushedly lifted herself from the ground as she brushed the dirt stains from her hands against the denim of her jeans. The brunette staggered after the animal and it stopped in its steps, as if it knew and wanted her to follow it. They moved through the lush woodland as a unit, firm pawprints preceding unsure footprints. The pain had once again subsided to a biting chill. it came and went in waves, but she did her best to suppress her screams, lest she terrify her strange canine companion. and yet, it noticed every pained grunt she let out and every faltering step. In those moments, the wolf would lay down and give her some time to rest, before continuing onwards. 

They cleared the thick section of the grove before sunrise. As the moon descended, she could hear the occasional car pass and the chirping of birds. How long had it been since the last time she had heard those? The bright yellow of the sun peeked out from a distance, and its rays landed on her face. She was surprised not to feel their warmth. Beyond that, what surprised her even more was the sight of what was happening to her wolf companion. As the sunrays penetrated its shaggy fur, said fur gave way to human hair and skin. Before her stood an unfamiliar man, as naked as the day he was born, who was glancing at her with a mix of anticipation and trepidation. 

The girl stood frozen in shock, until the fatigue of the previous night began to weigh on her bones. “Please.” she whispered just once as she felt her legs begin to falter. He moved almost as quickly as he did when he heard her scream, wrapping one arm chastely under her arm and tossing one of hers over his shoulder and grasping it with the other. His hold on her was firm, secure and she found herself fully leaning on him and his assistance as they walked towards a rusted structure, with yellowing white planks attached to a faded pale blue surface. He let go of one of her arms as he pushed open the door of the trailer and called out a woman’s name — she presumed it was his mother’s, as the woman that appeared in front of her took in her countenance with a maternal wariness before pulling her away from her son, still in a state of undress, and towards herself. 

‘‘I heard screaming. I was worried that she was…’’ he trailed off then, remembering her presence. She was too exhausted to care why he didn’t want to mention what he was afraid of in front of her. ‘‘I smelled the stench of death under her skin. You know what that means.’’ he told his mother, as her expression shifted into one of commiseration and tenderness. The older woman pitied her. That's what that meant. It made her uneasy.

That was when she noticed the other figure in the room. Unlike the others, he seemed familiar to her, somehow. She wasn’t sure how or why, but the disbelief and grief in his green eyes (and they were a light green, much lighter then those of the girl she saw freeze to death, much prettier too) told her that he was aware of exactly how he knew her, and who she was. ‘‘Marlowe?’’ he called out, his voice on the verge of breaking and his eyebrows furrowed. He stared at her as if he had seen a ghost, or maybe even something worse. 

The girl could hear the sound of childish laughter, a ridiculous pitbull song serving as a background to the sound of someone vomiting and friendly jabs resembling this young man’s cadence. She heard something else too, something that wasn’t there before — hushed whispers, coming from all-around, but none from the people present. Wispy, ancient murmurs surrounded her, stifling her attempts to remember who this green-eyed man was. She couldn’t understand what they were telling her, but their tones varied. Some came across as resigned, others were enraged. In the midst of it all, a name, the man’s name, returned to her.

She opened her mouth, as if to speak. She heard nothing as her vision turned dark.