#mikaa2411

Oh if somewhere in this wasteland, they had a time machine. 

'Next round’s on me!’ she announces to the bar, and its patrons erupt in cheers. Little do they know she has zero intention to pay for those drinks, but you couldn’t care less about those people with the headache you have. 

'Y/N, what’s “dirty alcohol”?’ Valkyrie asks, setting 2 bottles of tequila in front of you. 

'Not that’ you mumble. You’d kill for a dirty drink about now. Maybe some cranberry juice with vodka. More cranberry juice, less vodka. In fact, you could leave the vodka out all together. 

'Very well’ she pops the cork on the bottle and puts it to her lips, draining its contents in less than a minute. You look at her, head resting on your hand, feeling like your entire body might melt. 

'Your turn!’ she motions for you to drink the tequila. 'Come on, Loki had more than that last night’. 

Not to be outdone by the god you’ve only seen drink a glass of wine around the Avengers Tower (wine!? more like grape juice for adults!), you open the bottle and chug the tequila, feeling your soul look at you with disgust and leave your body. 

'YEAH, Y/N!’ Valkyrie shouts as you smash the empty bottle on the ground.

But now it’s too much, and you turn to the dustbin next to you and hurl. Oh lord, it makes you feel terrible, but it feels so good to get the poison out. Oh, never again. Never ever again, you swear to yourself as you hurl once more. 

You finish and turn back around, reaching for some napkins, and see a tall figure clad in green and black in front of you. 

'AH Loki’ you say, louder than you intended to. 'To what do I owe the pleasure’. 

He wrinkles his nose at how you slur the words, 'Are you alright?' 

'Oh FINE, I’m just having a five o'clock drink with my pal Valkyrie here’ you motion to the empty seat next to you. 

'Well, it’s… not five o'clock anymore, and Valkyrie isn’t here’. 

You frown. 'Yes she is, she was here just…' 

'Here I am!’ she runs to you with a phone in her hand. 'Some Midgardian recorded that, and he wouldn’t give me the device, so I stole it. Anyway, it’s hilarious, I’ve never seen anyone do that!' 

'For Odin’s sake, Valkyrie’ Loki snaps, 'She’s a mortal, what were you trying to do to her!?' 

'What, she was the one bragging about a high capacity’ she defends. 'It’s not a big deal, she just had three bottles’. 

'Three BOTTLES?' 

'Please, that’s my breakfast’ Valkyrie waves an arm in attempt to dismiss Loki’s fears, but that doesn’t work. 

'How are you still alive?’ Loki asks you, holding your shoulder. You’re definitely drunk now, and according to friends, get pretty handsy if anyone touches you in that state. You take his arm from your shoulder and pull him closer to hug his waist. 

'Told you I have high capacity’ you mumble, and giggle to yourself. 

'By Odin’s beard, you do’ Loki says, but not with admiration; it sounds more like contempt. 'Valkyrie, you stay away from her come five o'clock now’ Loki warns her.

'Oh fine, I can drink by myself’ Valkyrie grabs another bottle from behind the bar and unscrews the top, while Loki helps you to your feet. 

'I need to get you to a hospital…’ he says. 'They’ll pump your stomach or something right?' 

'No!’ you have a mortal fear of doctors and hospitals. 'No, I’ll be fine’. 

'Y/N…’

'I’ll be fine!' 

'You need to throw up a lot more, you drank too much’. 

'Well, I don’t feel like throwing up anymore, so…’ you shrug, happy that you’ve won the argument. 

'I can take care of that’ Loki drags you to the ladies washroom and points you to a restroom stall. 'Get in’. 

You oblige, unsure of what he’s going to do. You hear some mumbling from outside the stall, and the next thing you know, you’ve got your head in the toilet, throwing up. 

'Ah, good’ you hear from outside the stall. 

'GOOD!? How do you know I’m not throwing up a vital organ here!?' 

'Don’t be such a drama queen’ he laughs from outside. 'You’ll be fine now’. 

Twenty minutes later, you exit the stall looking like absolute hell, and FEELING like absolute hell. You wash your face in the sink and turn to glare at him. 

'Come on, pet, I’m taking you to the tower’ he takes your hand and puts it around his shoulder. 

'Ew, don’t call me “pet”’ you say. 'I’m Y/N’.

'Very well, Y/N, I’m taking you to the tower’. 

'And then what?' 

'Putting you to bed’. 

'Ooooh and then what?' 

'Leaving’ he says firmly, and you whine loudly, causing a few heads to turn. 

'Maybe it’s best we both keep quiet till we get to the tower’. 

'Okay…’ you mumble. 

____

'Kid, are you alright!?’ Tony rushes up to you and Loki holding out a hand to prevent you from falling flat on your face. 'High capacity huh?' 

'Three bottles and she’s still alive, I’m going to give her credit for that’ Loki says, before Tony can make a joke.

He shrugs and steps back, 'That’s pretty impressive, kid’. 

Loki takes you to your room and sits you on the bed, then goes to the bathroom to run you a warm shower. 

'Shower’s there. I’ll leave you now’ he waves and heads to your door.

'No, what if I slip and crack my skull and die!?’ you yell, reaching for him. 'Don’t leave me!' 

Loki sighs and walks over to you. 'Fine, if you tell anybody about this, I will not hesitate to put snakes in your room’. 

'I like snakes’ you grin as he helps you stand up. 

'Of course you do…’ he says, taking your shirt off from over your head. He helps you out of your pants, with you cracking dirty jokes the entire time. He laughs at some, he groans at some bad ones, and then leads you to the shower. 

'Can you take it from here?' 

'I could still slip and die’ you motion to the potentially hazardous soap dispenser nailed to the wall that could impale you. He shakes his head in response and grabs a loofah to scrub you with. 

'You’re a handful’ he comments, while putting more soap on the loofah. 

'You’ve never actually given anybody a bath, have you’ you laugh, as he continues putting an unnecessary amount of bath gel on the loofah. 'You’re terrible at this!' 

'Alright then’ he puts the bottle aside and continues to rub your arms and back. 

'HAVE you given anybody a bath?’ you venture. 

'Hm. Thor didn’t always have the capacity he does now. I had to throw him in the shower when we were children so Odin wouldn’t know he’d been drinking’. 

'Well aren’t you a good brother’ you turn around and lean towards him,  getting soap on his leather doublet. He purses his lips and steps back to remove it. 

'Ooooh is the Prince of Asgard going to put on a show for me?’ you grin and lean on the wall, crossing your arms. 'Turn around and bend over, handsome, let me see that ass’. 

He smiles, maybe even blushes a little, and steps forward to continue his task, 'Nearly done, let’s get you out of here’. 

He finishes up, turns the shower head to your face, causing you to gasp and sputter and curse at him a few times, and then wraps you in a towel and takes you to the room. You’ve got a better handle on yourself now, and sit on the bed, wiping your hair with another towel. Loki stands there, looking at you. 

'Enjoying the R-rated show?’ you joke. 

'Well, I’ve seen it through this long, I figured I should stay till the end’. 

'What’s “the end”?’ you ask, smirking. 

'You getting dressed and into bed’. 

'After we…?' 

He smiles and kneels in front of you so you’re face-to-face, 'Maybe another time, love’ he kisses your nose. 'Put on your pajamas, and I’ll tuck you in’. 

You whine softly as he makes you stand up and removes the towel around you. 'Where do you keep your night clothes?' 

You shake your head and pull him closer, 'I sleep naked’ you whisper, and start to giggle. 

'Of course you do…’ he picks you up and lays you down on the bed, throwing a blanket over you.