Sheâs toxic, Iâm slipping under [POKE DRABBLE]
âăAaah, this sucks. This totally sucks. It wasnât supposed to be like this, you know? I was going to get a Dratini and train it into a big, majestic Dragonite. I was going to fly through the air and Hyper Beam everyone who was mean to me. I was going to be the very best, like no one ever was. But nothing ever goes my way. Why does this always happen to me? I just-ăâ
Kumagawaâs pokemon training adventures continued. Or, rather, they were set on an aimless path that even he was not fully aware of. In all honesty, he hadnât thought of anything beyond catching Dratini. But considering how rare they were, he could not find another one after the first managed to slip through his grasp. Instead, the minus had been left with the company of a simple Magikarp instead. And while many may have considered that to be fitting, it was anything but.
For you see, Kumagawaâs Magikarp hated him. All it ever seemed to do was bounce around and slap him in the face whenever he was close to him. It was the ultimate insult. Salt in the already bleeding wound left in his chest from his dreams being shattered. All he could do now was wander around and hope he could run into some other super cool and psuedo legendary pokemon to add to his ranks. Perhaps that would fill the gaping void left in his heart- For the love of fuck Kumagawa itâs just Pokemon.
His depressing slump landed him in District Mu. More specifically, the swamp Area of district Mu. It was hardly the kind of place most other trainers would come to, probably. But at this point, it didnât matter to him where he ended up. With all of the.. swampy sounds around him, it was hard to pick up on the sounds of any nearby pokemon footsteps or anything of the sort. Which meant that heâd likely end up just walking through the area entirely until he reached the next district. That was.. Until he saw her. Standing there, right in his path. His second favorite Pokemon ever.
A wild Croagunk. Squatting there in the middle of the swamp without a care in the world. Literally without a care, it wasnât even doing anything. Even when it made eye contact with Kumagawa, it simply sat there. Watching. Was she not going to offer any resistance? Could this be the moment where his luck turns around! At last! His losing streak was finally going to end! Digging into his pocket, Kumagawa swiftly pulled out a pokeball and tossed it in the Croagunkâs direction!
Only for it to be casually slapped back towards him. It seemed as though she wasnât just being impassive. She literally did not view him as a threat worth worrying about. Which was made evident by the fact that she still wasnât running, even after the capture attempt.
âăNot going to make it easy for me, huh? In that case.. MAGIKARP! GOOOOOO!ăâ
And there it was. The time had finally come! Magikarpâs first pokemon battle! Kumagawa grinned confidently as his Magikarp flopped towards Croagunk and--.. Just kept bouncing and splashing in the mud. This.. This was a mistake. Magikarp was FUCKING TERRIBLE. The Croagunk simply kept up itâs nonchalant stare before simply slapping the Magikarp away lightly.. Oh no.. OH NO!
âăMAGIKAAAAAAARP! NOOOOOOOOOO!ăâ
Kumagawa rushed towards the still flopping fishâs side, picking it up and holding it against his chest. It had taken some time for him to realize.. But now he finally saw. It didnât matter that he didnât catch Dratini! It didnât matter if his dreams had been crushed! Magikarp.. Magikarp was his very first Pokemon. His very first friend..! And he cared about him. No matter how weak he may be, Kumagawa cherished his Magikarp above all else! He wouldnât allow it to be put in harmâs way without a way of defending itself! He would not expose it to the horrors of the world around it! He would protect Magikarp with his body and soul. He would protect him with his very LIFE-
KAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAARP!
âăUWAAAAAAAAAH!ăâ
Magikarp then unleashes a devastating TACKLE to Kumagawaâs chest, rupturing his rib cage and sending him flying. Magikarp wasnât weak at all. It just didnât want to do what Kumagawa told him to. Because Kumagawa is the WORST. And Croagunk..
Viewed the entire debacle with feelings of pity and second hand embarrassment. With Kumagawa writhing in pain and Magikarp slapping itâs tail againgst his face, Croagunk simply walked towards the dropped Pokeball and tapped it with her hand before disappearing into it. She apparently felt so bad after seeing that pathetic display that she decided to give the poor guy a break. It wasnât as though she had anything else to do anyway.
Congratulations, you caught a Croagunk! Would you like to name your new Croagunk?
âăMy spleeeeeeeen...ăâ
Your Croagunk has been named âMy Spleenâ











