#mickey.doc

AND that is why i think “a guy like you” is absolutely crushing because if they’re not real — then he’s hyping himself up. he’s trying to motivate himself to confess to esmerelda, he’s battling with himself again, he’s trying to pick out what he thinks are the good qualities within himself. the song’s lyrics don’t seem that positive when you take a closer look at them, in fact they seem quite patronising and almost like hidden insults, especially focusing on jabs towards his own appearance (the constant stressing that he’s unique, one of a kind, special) and you could argue it’s all of the hatred he’s internalised about himself over the years of being raised by frollo. (i might be reading too much into it but similar language was used with me as a kid, as a way to sort of put me down a little while the people who used it on me acted like they were lifting me up); but he manages to push all of that aside, he manages to finally muster enough courage up and then he doesn’t even get the chance to verbalise it.

mostly because their scenes and lines are mostly played for laughs and to lighten the mood (they both have semi-cheesy one-liners for example), and their characters seem to be more focused on relaxation and fun when they’re first introduced (phoebus literally has a song called ‘rest and relaxation’)

but they also have some ‘unexpected’ emotional depth. phoebus has just returned from the front line of a war and sings about the trauma that he experienced and witnessed happen during his time there, and fiyero is basically suffering from some form of depression (‘because dust is what we’ll return to’, and the near constant repetition of the phrase ‘nothing matters’)

both are also called to act as captains of the guard and to spearhead a hate campaign against the girl they love (phoebus being forced to search for esmeralda, fiyero having to lead the guards to search for elphaba)

ALSO esmeralda also lowkey reminds me of elphaba purely because they’re both attacked for standing up for what’s right (disney!esmeralda is originally targeted by frollo for cutting quasimodo free and yelling that they need justice [for how both quasi and the other rromani in paris are treated by frollo], and elphaba for standing up for the animals being forcefully silenced and unfairly targeted and harmed)

his relationship with his brother jehan crumbled because he couldn’t control his behaviour and mould him to be similar to him (pious, religious etc) and he was unable to make amends with him because the next time he met up with jehan after he was expelled from the cathedral was when jehan was on his deathbed when he gave quasimodo over to frollo.

AAAND his poor relationship with jehan impacted how he treated quasimodo because his grip on quasimodo was incredibly tight and controlling. he literally controlled everything that quasimodo experienced (what he learnt, what he wore, what he ate, the conversations they had). he basically treated quasimodo like a do-over of his relationship with jehan. he literally sings “teach him to think like me,” he’s trying to do what he couldn’t do with his brother with his nephew

obviously he connects the theme of fire and hellfire and being demonic to her — but it’s him who has more scenes with fire. he is the one singing to a fireplace, he is the one burning down the city, he is the one tying an innocent girl to the stake ready to burn her. he even burns the sculpted figure of esmeralda that quasimodo made of her when he visits him. he constantly repeats imagery of fire and devils and heat — he references the sun shining in her hair, how his desire ‘blazes’ within him.

but the only time we see esmeralda engaging with fire is when she is being burnt at the stake, and arguably when she is holding the candelabra/candle-holder with the candles lit up in the notre dame during her first interaction with phoebus. other than that, she doesn’t actually have any scenes that really relate to fire. the actual esmeralda doesn’t appear anywhere near the fireplace that frollo sings to, it’s just a hallucination of some kind — she doesn’t actively use fire to attack or defend herself. the fire is instead her downfall, she’d have been killed by it if it weren’t for quasimodo (yes, in the musical and the original novel, she does actually die from it/the smoke inhalation, but you get my point)

eridian oc/sona commissions open!

we have dissociative identity disorder. (what is that?) in very very simple terms, just think of it as many different people sharing the same blog. with clashing interests, and unreliable memory, etc etc.

we draw and write and rant about things nobody really cares about. CEOs of latching onto obscure side characters or weird topics of interest.

during her introduction song, he immediately jumps to the conclusion that her dancing is inherently evil and sinful behaviour because it arouses him and he just doesn’t know how to respond to that or deal with it other than reacting in outrage (since he is an archdeacon and must remain celibate).

he only views esmeralda as something desirable after she steps foot into the notre dame and admits her interest in religion to him. after he runs into her in the notre dame and she says she’d like to learn more about christianity, he almost immediately softens his behaviour and approach towards her, saying something akin to “you’re one of the good ones”, because he sees that she has a trait he can view as agreeable.

it also provides him with an ‘in’ to her due to his high-ranking position within the church. if she’s interested in religion then she’ll come to the notre dame frequently, and they’ll likely interact more often. he views it as an opportunity, which he then attempts to take.

in quasimodo’s belltower they have a conversation where he says that she can stay in the notre dame for an unspecified amount of time and that he’ll tutor her in her studies of the bible — he’s pushing this point extremely heavily, proving his interest in her, and providing her with an opportunity where he’d exert some control over her and have a relationship based on power imbalance (that of a teacher and a student). and, it’s almost like he’s unaware that he’s sexually interested in her because he’s squashed that side of him down. he can’t recognise what he’s feeling anymore.

after esmeralda points out how he’s acting towards her he immediately gets violent and aggressive (grabbing her arm, telling phoebus to drag her out of the cathedral to arrest her, accusing her of twisting the truth), because he doesn’t know how to cope with the fact she saw straight through him and rejects his crafted plan that allows him to exert power over her.

this eventually sets him on a downward spiral, where along the way he gets progressively more twisted. he even attempts to assault her when she’s in a cell after she was caught and arrested as a sort of “last resort” to see if she’s changed her mind about him (the whole “choose me or your pyre” thing), and only when she physically fights back against him, rejecting him and his attempted influence and tight grip over her in a way he can’t fully ignore, is when he finalises the decision that she’ll be killed and allows phoebus in for them to say their last goodbyes. the entire time he acts like he has authority over her (even though he really doesn’t), and is incredibly possessive over her too.