#michaeljamestyler

So you've been like a brother to me, I love you to death and I will always be with you. You've been my rock and my savior and something as simple as my pillow. We've always had a strange connection, I always felt different around you, I hated you and then for a while I thought I needed to impress you, like I had something to prove, but you accepted me as me and made me feel comfortable and happy. 

I'm sorry I had to go so soon, I wish I could have spent more time with you, but my time is up. How does the one thing that is supposed to save your like, be the thing that kills you? I had no clue what to do, but I knew the sooner I was gone, the sooner you all could get on with your lives and not worry about me. Maybe I'm a coward, maybe I'm incredibly stupid, but I did this for you all and I did it for me. I am always here for you, always with you, so please don't be sad, life is such a beautiful thing. Appreciate it while you can.

You are my best friend, practically my brother. Take care of yourself. I love you so much. I'm sorry I've been a bitch, I'm sorry I've been so back and forth and mean and then a mess all at once, I just don't know how to handle this anymore, how to be happy. But please know that I'm happy now.

Don't forget about me,

Ronnie, your unicorn.

Dear whoever finds this,

I guess you are the first or whatever to find out that I left. I honestly can't take all of this anymore. I am so stressed out and I can hardly breathe without having the feeling that everyone is leaning on me. Aurora is with Simon's parents, so don't worry about her. I just want you to know I love you and I might see you some day.

Love, Ryan.

Next to the note was her engagement ring and cellphone. She walked out of the place, a cab waiting for her. She sighed as she got drove to the train station. She found a train going to Arizona and paid for the ticket. She went and sat down, waiting for the train to come.

Ronnie soon collapsed in tears after Abby walked out the door, she had no clue how long she had been sitting there but she finally stopped crying once her stomach began to ache uncontrollably. She pulled herself up off the floor shakily, her body still twitching from the drugs, but all she wanted was more, Abby seemed to think this made her happy, but that wasn't it, it just made her less sick. Was it supposed to make her happy? Ronnie wasn't sure but she was going to find out.

She headed to the coffee table before remembering she and Harry had used up the last of what she had, he was supposed to get more tonight. She pulled out her phone and hit whatever number she could find, her mind telling her it was Harry. "Hello?" The other end answered. "I hate you! You ruined everything! Just bring me what I paid you for and then never talk to me again!" Ronnie's voice was cracked, broken and shaky as she hung up and headed to the kitchen.

She angrily tore through the cabinets till she found the medication, ripping off the lid to whatever she found first and pouring about seven into her hand, dry swallowing the pills and heading to her room, At the foot of the stairs she accidentally dropped the bottle with the remaining pills, leaving them to spill everywhere, and just left them there as she headed up the steps, tears still finding their way out of her eyes and her stomach continuing to ache worse and worse.

Ronnie picked up her keys, giving Jonah a quick kiss goodbye, reminding him to not open the door for anyone and that she would be home soon, which of course he just nodded and shooed her out the door.

She sent one last text to Mike as she hopped in her dad's old beat up truck and headed down the road. The radio was on full blast as she pulled up outside Mike's place and shot him another text, figuring he would rather her not head to the door and risk his uncle opening it before him.