#michaela o

Okay so first of all, all of my hight school friends (yes friends who i lived in the same dorm room for 4 years) and a friend i had a huge crush on (on which i realized i'm only attracted to women (kinda nervous coming out like this help-) ) i found out that they're shitty people..after we ended hight school we went on a few trips together and i almost confessed to my friend on which i had crush on..as time went by we slowly stopped talking but we agreed that my friends would come to my city and we would celebrate her birthday party..i wasn't aware of anything else..and then, one day as i walk across the city (i was taking a walk from work) guess who i stumble uppon sitting around a table with empty coffee cups standing about to leave...i quickly put my headphones off and just stare like- they looked as shocked as i did when i saw all of them together having that birthday celebration without me...i was so shocked i couldn't say anything to them so i went straight home literaly walking with tears in my eyes...there were like so many emotions filtering through me and i just started to have a panic attack in the middle of the city and i felt so shitty once i calmed down a bit. I thought for 4 years that they were my friends but i don't know maybe if i have said something maybe it wouldn't leave everything in radio silence..just nothing else to the ending but confusion, sadness even a bit of anger and worst of all are the most amazing and happy memories that you created with them throughout those 4 years...but i guess it wouldn't change anything..nobody called me or texted me ever since and guess what?? I even got blocked for no reason at all!

I thought about reaching out, texting something like "hey how you doing?" but honestly i think that's just weird and i hope i'm not being selfish here but the fact that they played my ass like that, i don't think that i should be the one reaching out if they truly cared-

That's probably one of the biggest changes to my lore so far and i know this chapter is a bit angsty but things are slowly healing as i'm about to tell you who i found at my horrible workplace :DD

Her name is Rebecca and she is literaly my life saver. After that i was really lonely and i mostly just stayed in my room doing literaly nothing for days just smoking leaves and being depressed...even drawing wasn't as fun anymore because there was no one i could draw myself with or make gifts for...or just genuinely show my love and appreciation to..i felt like my love was pouring out to nowhere...but she literaly grabbed me under my armpits and stood me up on my feet and helped me to get out of my home a lot more and introduced me to a lot of new people and friends (and i'm slowly getting to know them rn) We made a lot of cool plans for the weekend and it's making me forget all bullshit that happend few months ago. She's really sweet and would protect you no matter what. She never judges🤍

Also i recently came out to her that i'm a lesbian ! And accepted me and i felt so loved when she said it's cool and fine lmao i love her🧡

So that's probably it for now ya all😭

I know it's a bit random with the timing but i just came home from night shift and i wanted to make this post a longer while back but i kept pushing it to the side thinking that i would do it later and i never got back to it💔 so i kicked myself in the ass to make it and here we are :P

Thank you so much if you read through all this i know it's a lot and i'm probably as exhausted as you are by the time you're done reading this🧡

I DO have some more art of my another human self insert but this time in The Last Of Us universe and i asked my friend if i could insert her there aswell and she saif she will suck my tits if i do so i guess that's a good sign?😭

Okay so i have a new job (im a baker) and everything is going okay so far i'm already working with the machines and people there are mostly very nice to me <3🧡 i found two new friends there :DD

I also noticed this weird thing that most older people men and also women like (40-60) do when they are around me especially at work. Like my work is sometimes a bit difficult for me bc im short and sometimes i just can't reach for stuff but nothing horrible lol so i sometimes ask my coworkers for help otherwise im completely capable doing stuff myself. And anytime they help me there hasn't been one time someone wouldn't babytalk me or everyone just doing stuff for me in general because i'm physically smaller and ppl think i suffer bc of it. I had a lot of weird and sometimes creepy comments thrown my way at how small my hands are anytime i was doing anything like cleaning the machine parts or sorting out boxes with bread. Idk i just feel like im not really taken seriously honestly in some situations. I mean don't get me wrong ofc i always apreciate the help🧡 and i am thankfull🧡 but it's a bit annoying and frustrating sometimes especially when they treat u like ur a child and incapable of doing stuff lol.