There’s a whole scene where Wedge is berating himself for being selfish, because he was kind of wishing to have a family of his own and because he was lonely, and just...This is a man who lost his family at 17 and who has spent the entirety of his adult years in service of the Rebellion-turned-New Republic.Â
This poor dude has lost his entire squadron at some point and repeatedly loses people he cares about on a regular basis. He’s had to write hundreds of letters to families, telling them their loved ones won’t return home.Â
He puts up a brave and collected front in order to encourage others and create some semblance of calm, but screams and breaks things because “I lost another man” when he’s alone.
He grieves alone, he suffers alone, and his duty has made him abandon the mere thought of falling in love and building a family at the age of fucking twenty eight.
Wedge, sweetie, you deserve a hug.Â
Like he really thinks he’s being selfish, because having a family would mean NOT surrendering every part of himself to this seemingly never ending war. He thinks he’s selfish for having dreams and maybe not wanting to spend the rest of his years doing nothing except fighting.
He’s also fully prepared to die. Repeatedly. Is constantly going on the most dangerous missions and not willing to be promoted.Â
Like no, you’re not selfish for wanting a life. You’re not selfish for feeling lonely when you don’t have many people around you and when you’ve reached a point where you distance yourself because you know it’s inevitable that the people around you will die in only a few years.
You’re not selfish for having feelings and emotions and wishing for a better life that you don’t have to give up everything for. You’re not selfish for sometimes thinking you’d love a different life where you didn’t have to fight tooth and nail to survive and to protect others. And where you didn’t have to lose blood sweat and tears to do so.
This man has gone though so much and he is such a fantastic character and I am so glad that the EU, and specifically Aaron Allston, decided to explore his character and give him depth.
Truly one of the better star wars characters.