broken glass and ashes

R.I.P to Stray Souls

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AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH. I'M SO SORRY THIS TOOK SO LONG TO GET TO.

I know Maf is on Tumblr now but it should be public knowledge for every one who follows me that Stray Souls DID something to me as a person and I applaud the way the comic is written and drawn and just AGH beiaudiqjdof everything about it.

Also omg this is so well written, @entropy-mephit , THANK YOU. It's so elegant and beautiful and wonderful and it's making me think so much. Now if you'll all excuse me I am going to go on a rant about Stray Souls. (Be warned I go on a bit of a tangent here about Mialek and Jeoan later and I am not sorry at all. Tysm for the opportunity actually!!)

The concept of Healers as a whole is so horrifying in such an interesting way that I can only compare to something such as Market of Monsters (or my own work that will probably never get published looolll). The concept of your blood/power being so valuable that you are actively sought after whether you are willing to give it or not and you can't escape that just AGH.

Diaj, for instance, is only two hundred years old and he spent a good portion of that time imprisoned by people who had forgotten they were his captors to the point that they considered him their friend. Which is horrifying in such a way that it almost blinded me to the fact that Mialek through character design alone adds so much more to Diaj's story. Mialek (and also one of the other healers we meet) is covered head to toe in dozens if not hundreds of scars that Diaj's imprisonment kept him safe from. (Not that imprisoning him as a sentient shield was a good thing, I just need to stress how it messes with me that the fact that he was trapped is likely the only reason Diaj wasn't used as a healing/protecting soda fountain of sorts [that we know of]. And that now that he's free that's back on the table.)

And then once you actually meet Mialek and get to know him and see that he's just absolutely ancient. He's been around for longer than any of us really know, he's seen countries rise and fall, and he's done all of it as a Healer.

And then he meets Jeoan, who may be a Reaper, but he doesn't want anything from Mialek like the rest do. Not in the same way. They work well together, they fall in love, they want each other. Jeoan doesn't want from Mialek like any one else does and Mialek doesn't want from Jeoan like that either.

I can't help but think of them together, because of how well their stories and personalities fit. And because I'm gay and trans and can't resist a tragic love story.

(Going to talk about S2 finale spoilers now.)

Which makes it so goddamn tragic that they ended up the way they are. Even though what Jeoan is doing is awful, even though Jeoan is enslaved to an eldritch creature beyond any real hope of stopping, Mialek sees him, loves him, knows him. He still comes when Jeoan calls, even if it's under the guise of an assassination attempt. He still had Amaranthine stay with Jeoan and watch over him despite Jeoan being undeniably an enemy. He still loves Jeoan for who he is and what he is despite everything.

I skimmed some of the later chapters for this and the two of them have a conversation in Episode 84 that makes me so emotional.

Mialek says, "Some would say that it isn't always about the end. I'd say it hardly ever is."

Then later in the chapter:

Jeoan: Mialek. Would you spend a thousand years by my side?

Mialek: And a thousand more. I've told you this before. I'll be here as long as you are.

Jeoan: You have told me this before. And if I ask you to stay here after I go?

Mialek: I might disappoint you.

Jeoan: ...

Jeoan: You've lived hundreds of years. Countless lives. There's no reason for it to end with mine.

Mialek: I've lived countless lives. And this is the last one. However long there is left.

Mialek's had to watch the man he loves deteriorate, lose himself, disappear into frustration and agony. But he's still in there, he's still the man Mialek loves, he knows the situation is hard, complicated, messy, but he can't help but love him.

I know it's a very popular quote but I can't help but think of it when I think of them:

It doesn't matter who's who in this quote, because they both could be either honestly. They've both been through so much and have so much to deal with that it just fits them.

But I digress, when Mialek says [a story] isn't always about the end, I can't help but think of the love that was there- that permeates everything about their stories both individually and together- and I'm reminded that no love, however brief, is wasted. I can't help but think that Mialek, even at the end, loved Jeoan. He didn't lie, he kept his word, because even if his last breath was in an attempt to end the King Jeoan had become, Mialek still took that last breath as a man who had loved and been loved.

He loved enough to let go, to try and stop the King; Mialek loved Jeoan enough to know he had to try and kill him. To me, their romance and history is entwined with the core of the story so completely, that when our MC Eylin learns of it, she tells Jeoan, "It's okay. I forgive you. For what you did to me, I forgive you. And... I'll stop you. You'll help me stop you."

Which I think might genuinely be something Jeoan wants, even if he doesn't realize it. I think Mialek realized it, and he tried to do what he could for as long as the two of them were together.

So back to what entropy-mephit said:

"Hero, savior, martyr [and] it's a trap but he was made to fall for it."

Which, in the end I suppose, is still exactly what Mialek is- still what happened to him. But even so, how wonderful I think it must be, to be brought up in a world where you are told to be something- that you are something- and then finally, blissfully, you meet someone who gives you the chance to choose. To choose what you are, who you are, what you could be, and then you end up choosing the same things.

But this time, you do so because of love.