#mhalibbymae

Hi lovely,

The symptoms of an anxiety attack are:

Surge of overwhelming panic

Feeling of losing control or going crazy

Heart palpitations or chest pain

Feeling like you’re going to pass out

Trouble breathing or choking sensation

Hyperventilation

Hot flashes or chills

Trembling or shaking

Nausea or stomach cramps

Feeling detached or unreal

(Source)

When we have an anxiety attack we feel these symptoms because our body is reacting in its natural fight or flight response, which was developed back in cave man days, when we would need these response to run away from danger. Your body is preparing itself to run away, however we no longer have bears and lions chasing after us, and the things that cause us anxiety are things that most of the time running from is not a sufficient answer and avoiding it only makes it worse. When youre having an anxiety attack there are a few things you can do to calm yourself down.

Focus on your breathing. Breath in for 3 seconds and out for 3 seconds. Deep breathes are key for keeping your breathing regulated or for gaining back control of your breathing when having an anxiety attack. 

Try and focus on your surroundings, notice the sounds, smells, the colours you can see, the details. Describe it in your head. 

Because your body is preparing itself to run away, try moving, you could job on the spot, dance, if in public walk quickly. 

Try using some grounding techniques. 

My friend used to carry around a bottle of hand lotion and when she was anxious she would use her hand lotion and focus on the way it felt on her hands.

Have a read through our Calming anxiety and panic page for more advice.

If you feel you suffer from anxiety, then there is always help available to you and speaking to a therapist can really help to figure out the cause of your anxiety, and can help to work through why it gives you anxiety and ways to help overcome the anxiety.

Good luck, I hope everything turns out okay for youLots of love,

Hi lovely,

Honeslty the best thing you could do in this situation is talk to her about how you have been feeling. Communication is key, and if you want to be together again then you need to tell her how worried you are that she is going to leave completely. You may not get the response you want from her, but not telling her about how you feel will only make things worse and lead to you pushing her away completely.

Try taking a few days out where you dont talk to here, if you both agree that you need to work on yourselves then you shouldnt still be acting like youre together, you should take time apart from each other to focus on yourselves and both figuring out what you want individually. You mentioned youre scared she wont talk to you again, so many something you need to figure out it wether you actually want to be in a relationship with her, or wether you just want to be friends.

When you feel like youre starting to worry, write down everything you are feeling, try and figure out what it is that youre worrying about. You've said youre worried about losing her, but why are you worried about that, what is causing that worry, and then start to think about wether or not there is evidence to show that you should be worried about losing her. Try to distract yourself by starting to do the things that you love more often, like i said focus on yourself, your well being and your happiness, and after a few weeks if you can both discuss where you are at and whether you want to be together or not.

When you get a panic attack, remember to breathe. Breathing is key when panicking. Breathe in for 3 seconds, and out for 3 seconds and repeat that over and over again. It could also help to carry around a wallet sized photo that makes you feel safe and calm, and whenever you feel yourself starting to panic, just look at the photo and focus on the detail. Alternatively you could focus on your surroundings, the smell, the noises, the things you can see, describe them in detail in you head or aloud if youre alone. if youre panic attacks happen often, i would recommend speaking to a doctor about them, as they can help you further.

Good luck, I hope everything turns out okay for you Lots of love,

2) slowly I stopped hearing them. During the whole thing I only looked outside 3 times but I was too scared to watch for very long, I saw one guy standing in the driveway across the street. I think the other one brought the girl into the house, I went downstairs to tell my parents but they don't care what's happening to her, they won't let me call the police or anything and my dad won't even go to the house to check on the girl. I knew I should've just shouted something out the window (-Mariel)

3) right after I heard the slap, but I didn't because I was scared of them and I didn't want my dad to get mad at me, I've been crying for 30 minutes now because I'm okay and she's not and Idk who she is or who the guys are, I'll probably never see or hear them again because I don't go to public school, and Idk what to do, I feel so bad for not saying anything. I should've done something to help her and I can't stop crying I'm so worried about her (-Mariel)

Hi sweetie,

I cannot image how distressing this would have been for you to experience. The important thing to remember is that this is not your fault. You're not an adult, and as a child you dont hold the responsibility to stop things like this. You spoke to your mum and dad about what you saw, and it was their responsibility to do something about it, not yours. It is okay to be scared, and it is okay that you didnt try to stop it yourself out of fear, because as i said it wasnt your responsibility as a child to confront them, and you cannot keep blaming yourself for this, you tried to help by telling your parents and thats the best you could have done. Whilst you have nothing to feel guilty for, it doesnt change the guilt you feel, so have a read of this page, there may be some helpful tips on how to reduce the guilt you are feeling. 

Just because you arent sure what happened and because its after it happened, doesnt mean you cant still report it to the police. You can pop into your local police station and describe what happened, and try to describe what the two men looked like, and this way if anything did happen to the girl you could help prevent it from happening again.

Have you spoken to anybody about what happened? It could be really helpful to you to talk to an adult you trust whether it be a family member, a friend, a teacher or a counsellor. Talking to somebody about what happened and your feelings of guilt and blame could be very beneficial because keeping all these negative emotions about what happened bottled up inside is only going to make you feel worse and worse about the situation. You can also call a helpline to talk to someone that could advise you on what to do next and confidential help.

Lots of love,

Hi lovely,

Youre so kind, thank you for the lovely message back to the blog!! I hope you are doing well and i hope you’ve had a fab day (regardless of the weather we have had lately haha). 

Lots of love,

Hi sweetie,

I have checked the tag list and If your ask was in 3 parts then yes we have it, and thank you for your patience whilst waiting for it to be answered. If its not then it may have been eaten lovely (as tumblr likes to do that sometimes) or it may not have been tagged properly in which case would you please be able to resend it. Sara is not currently an admin, but somebody else will answer your question for you :)

You can check the tag list (click here) which is where you can see if we have your ask or not. Thank you and i hope everything is okay!

lots of love,

Hi sweetie,

I can completely understand what you are going through and it's okay to not feel comfortable in certain clothes. I cannot wear leggings, jeans or trousers (i live in tights) so therefore whenever im buying clothes its always skirts and dresses, but then some people arent comfortable wearing dresses and always wear jeans. Something that could really help is discovering what clothes work best for your body type. For example my waist is a lot smaller than my hips, so i always stick to high waisted skirts or dresses that are either oversized or come in at the waist to emphasise my waist. It can take a lot of practice to find what clothes work for you, but the first step is to research the different body types, find out which body type you have and then have a little look at what clothes are best worn by people with your body type.

Another helpful thing could is to find out what part of your body you like the most. For example my hair is my favourite part of my body, so i'll always make sure i am happy with my hair whenever i go out because if my hair looks good then i feel a lot more confident in myself and in my body. Whichever part of your body you like the most find a way to enhance it and draw people attention away from the parts you dont like and to the part that you do like. So if you like your chest and neck area, a great necklace will draw peoples attention to that area.

Wear clothes that you like, dont be afraid to wear something a bit different. If you like it wear it. Wearing clothes you think are cute helps to increase your mood and confidence, rather than always hiding in a baggy jumper and jeans. Hiding behind clothes makes you feel a lot worse about yourself and gives off a vibe that youre not comfortable, so dont be afraid to experiment and mix it up.

Dont be afraid to compliment yourself. When you find an outfit that works and that you are happy with make sure you look in the mirror and tell yourself how hot you look. Never be ashamed or scared to love yourself, because its important to have self love. Its important to remember that people are going to look at you, its natural for people to look at each other, but it doesnt mean they are thinking anything negative, and if they are, it doesnt matter, because the only opinion that matters is your own, and its very hard to believe but as long as you believe in yourself, and learn to love yourself you will feel confident in your own skin.

Good luck lovely, I hope it all works out for you ,lots of love,

(Em, pt. 2) all my teachers and tutors at math get mad at me too and I genuinely feel very lost at the subject, nothing actually sinks in for me and I can't seem to do anything myself. My math teacher picks on me and gets me to do questions out loud Nd then gets mad when I get it wrong and it fucks up my anxiety and makes me want to skip class a lot

Hi sweetie,

The most important thing to remember is that a bad grade isn't anything to stress over. It can seem like bad grades are the end of the world, but I promise you they're not. Are there any ways you can re-sit the test/exam? If not, you mentioned you will still be taking chemistry for two years so it sounds  as though you have enough time to make up the grades and still reach your potential. The key thing is to not let is take over your life. Yes grades are important, but they are not everything, and you can survive without them. It may not make you feel any better, but my mum left school with 1 D and the rest were F's and below and still managed to go to university and now has a great job, she is proof that you can leave school with no qualifications and still do great things. Have you ever thought about getting a private tutor? They can be very helpful to catch up with what you don't understand in class, especially since they are providing one on one time, their attention is completely devoted to you and completely devoted to helping you understand the things that confuse you.

In regards to your teachers, the best thing to do would be to talk to them privately (Or talk to another teacher you trust if you don't want to talk to your maths teacher personally). Explain that there are some things you don't understand and don't be afraid to tell them how they are making you feel in class. It is not your fault if there is something you don't understand and teachers can often forget this. They can often jump to the conclusion that you're not listening and forget that people understand certain parts subjects better than others, especially maths. I used to be amazing at algebra, I could understand complicated 12 mark questions that combined 5/6 mathematical theories into one question, but give me the most basic fraction like 3/4 x 6/7 and i was clueless, fractions were never my strong point, and its like that for everyone. It could be helpful if you went through your syllabus for maths and highlighted the parts you struggle with most and then spoke to your teacher about this. You could ask if you could meet with her a few times a week at lunch time to go over the parts of maths that you are struggling with, it should give her a better understanding that you really do want to understand and that you just need a bit of extra help.

Good luck lovely, I wish you all the best,lots of love,

Hi sweetie, 

I have searched the tag ‘LL’ and from what I can see I cannot find it, however there were a lot of asks in the tag due to words like ‘really’ ‘hello’ ‘all’ so if you could possibly say what the ask was about and that would help to narrow the search. 

Thank you, lots of love,