#mha2018

17. What not to say to a person with the same/similar disorders:

“What war were you in?” as a response whenever someone mentions having PTSD. War is not the only trauma to cause PTSD.

“What do you have to be depressed about?” Depression does not need a reason, it is a disorder that is caused by a complex mix of personal psychology, environment, and genetics. Trauma or stress can be a trigger that cause depression but it is not the only way someone can become depressed.

“You should’t take medication. Those are just Big Pharma’s tools to control us.” While pharmaceutical companies are corrupt, psychiatric medication can be an incredibly important tool for managing mental health disorders. Some instances of over prescription is not a good enough excuse to invalidate the life-changing improvement that many experience while taking medications. You are also not their doctor, and most likely not a doctor at all, and should not be throwing in your two cents about their medical treatment without invitation to do so.

“Just do X and you won’t be depressed anymore.” As I said above, depression is so much more complicated than just a simple fix. If it was so easily cured in everyone then it wouldn’t be a debilitating disorder for so many people. Don’t be an ignorant dickwad.

“I went through X and I’m not complaining/I didn’t get PTSD, you’re lying/a pussy,” Similar to depression (and almost all mental disorders) PTSD is caused by multiple factors and not everyone who goes through a trauma will develop PTSD. The fact that you or someone you know did not develop PTSD from a certain trauma has no affect on whether or not someone else did. 

“Just stop being anxious.” If it were that easy, you wouldn’t have to say it.

3. Stigma I have faced

Discussing my mental health issues online almost always leads to a person demanding I explain the traumas I’ve experienced so that they can decide whether or not it’s “bad enough,” in their opinion, to warrant PTSD. Sometimes, if I humored them and explained, some will still call me a liar or make crude and awful comments or threats. Being a sexual assault survivor brings its own stigma as well.

Less harmful for me personally, is the general awkwardness that people get when I open up to them about my disorders. Our society generally approaches mental health with a discomfort because barely anyone is taught how to respond in these situations and many don’t even understand what these disorders are or mean and are fed stigmatizing ideas throughout their life. People familiar personally or from family history of mental disorders are generally more comfortable with the subject, but those who haven’t experienced mental health issues in any form and are uneducated on the subject tend to become quiet and the conversation ends with awkward silence until either I or they change the subject.

I told a friend once that I took antidepressants and he said how he “had depression once” but then decided to just stop being depressed and it worked and I should try it. I didn’t talk to him much about anything important after that. My best friend showed signs of depression and I asked if they had considered therapy or medication. They got defensive and said they weren’t “crazy” or anything and I had to explain that I used both, how they helped, and how they weren’t just “happy pills” or “crazy pills” or something. I was a bit hurt about it but I understood because I flat out refused to take medication for a few months after my therapist suggested it and had cried when it came up because I, too, didn’t want to be “crazy.” I had to get over that internalized stigma in order to start medication, and eventually my friend also got therapy and medication. I don’t hold their reaction against them since they were polite after I explained and because I had a similar reaction at first too. 

30. How do you feel about talking about your mental health?

Day 21: support system - My therapist and psychiatrist are my treatment system/team - My boyfriend and best friend are my go-to for support - My sister, cousins, aunt, roommates, and other friends are my support for less personal things or family things - Other extended family (not all) are people that love me and are supportive of my college and while they don’t get my personal stuff, they’re support in that I know they love me and want the best for me

Day 19: Things that give you hope

“Hope” is the thing with feathers – That perches in the soul – And sings the tune without the words – And never stops – at all – –Emily Dickinson

I made it this far (despite what others have thought I was capable of)

The fact that I was able to get myself into therapy and advocate for myself when I was at a low point in my life

Seeing acts of kindness

Remembering the good days I’ve had and wanting to have more

The improvements I’ve made

My plans for the future

Believing that humans are neither truly good nor evil

Seeing where my loved ones are going, watching them grow and succeed