She stood breathing rapidly, feeling her body still trembling with rage.

Her eyes watered with salted tears, ones which were right on the verge of coming forward, however, she refused to blink, holding them back with everything she could. The young woman could only maintain a wavering glare at the blonde man, keeping herself resilient because she knew that once she blinked, she'd push out a stream of visible sorrow. She'd immediately bawl, and that was the last thing she wanted.

She didn't want him to know he hurt her, and what was much more, she didn't want him to know he held so much power over her.

So, her only option was to continue to glare, hardening her glistening eyes with as much mustered strength she could, momentarily freezing the warm waters to seem fierce.

She hadn't wanted him to see her break, to know he'd had any real effect on her, but even then, with all the desire in the world, she failed miserably, far too quickly for her liking.

With a large swallow of breath, she let them fall, emitting a strangled sound from the back of her throat that was only the beginning of a breaking dam.

Immediately, her hand flew to her mouth, continuing to glare at him, angrier with herself due to the outburst as she bit her tongue, trying to push the massive glob caught in her throat down.

And then came the sobbing... the wretched sobbing that showed how wounded she was.

Kaz's furious frown slowly melted and his brows creased up rather than down south to show utter confusion.

He was baffled, truly struck stupid at her current state and withering form.

"Crying..." he muttered almost idiotically, watching the stream of salted liquid flow, the waters coming forth like a powerful sea wave.

He hadn't expected tears...

' Anything but that...'

Kazuhira Miller had thought that there wasn't a part of him now that was remnant from the man of past, and that somehow, he had changed into someone completely different from who he had been before. But now, standing right before the (h/c) young woman and all her heartache, he was certain that pieces of him remained,

More particularly, the part of him that had that stupid inability to face a crying woman.

He felt a sinking feeling down deep inside the pit of his stomach, one that made it feel as though he'd been struck and a two-ton weight of guilt fell upon him, causing him to visually shrink, grimacing.

Her shoulders shivered, and her body moved along with it, trembling like a brittle leaf hanging onto a branch on an autumn day. Left without her pride, she decided to retreat instead, not wanting to further herself down the pitiful hole she'd sunk.

Hastily, she whipped around, ready to jolt away when his hand let go of the holder piece of his walker, letting it fall to the floor with a loud 'clunk' sound as he shot his arm out to her. With desperation, his hand latched onto her wrist, gloved fingers curling securely around it to make sure there was no way she could slip away.

And as luck would have it, with the surprising and brash action he went through with, she was forced back while he stumbled forward onto her, losing his own balance in the process. Her hand not being captured by his hold pressed against his chest, laying flat onto his heavily risen chest to save space between them as he came crashing towards her.

It was a natural response of course, and it had been her first instinct to draw more room, but with the feeling of his warm chest right at her palm, she delayed the action. Instead, she was caught staring doe-eyed at him, looking up at his handsome face, with (e/c) eyes so perfectly touched by the sun he could see them for their true, pure (dark, light) color.

A long drawn out breath left him, and along the end of it so did the idiotic tactic to try and stop her from longer tearing, and maybe, just maybe start making up for being such an asshole,

"What's the difference between a guitar and a fish?!" He blurted out, almost at the top of his lungs, also capturing the attention of a few walking men.

His face had shifted from the red rage he had worn before and instead had morphed into complete panic, alarm and with worry shining right in his eyes, which of course were hidden behind the shaded eye-wear.

Blubbering, she stared up at him, confused. Wide-eyed, she looked just like a deer in the headlights.

A small noise came from her, but it was too incoherent to be constituted as a word, making her flustered.

He felt a deep regret, eyes dashing left and right hoping there weren't too many people to have heard his moronic question, and to his dismay he was greeted with many pairs of risen eyebrows, accompanied by the sound of stifled chuckles.

He noticed one too many had hidden their faces, turned away from him to hide what were more than likely amused grins.

Slow head shakes of disapproval also came into vision, making him visibly wince, his head lowering down, tucking his chin down to his chest as he cringed, wanting to hide from the rest of the world.

And then what was the cherry on top, another voice floated around, intending to be heard,

"I knew he had a thing for her..." he heard a particular voice say with obvious enjoyment, and right from the corner of his eye, far to the left, he caught sight of the silver-haired tactical instructor sending him a very lax mock salute, urging him to continue with his entertaining stupidity.

"It was only a matter of time," Ocelot added with a chuckle.

A cold sweat ran down Kazuhira's temple as he swallowed down a shaky breath, tearing his eyes away from the other men, particularly the silver-haired man whose obvious entertainment shone in his pale, blue eyes like the radiance of a diamond beneath a gleam of sunlight.

Even from a distance, he could see the notable enjoyment...

Kaz turned and stared down at the still stunned woman, struggling to speak, trying to find his voice, having no choice but to go through with it,

"Y...You..You can't Tuna guitar," he said with a subtle quake to his tone, all while giving her held wrist a small, unintentional squeeze.

Looking down at his hold, realizing he still held onto her, he released her from her encasement, and coughed into his hand, cheeks blooming red at the complete idiocy of the moment.

Because all he had to have done was apologize...

He could have simply said he was sorry and be a better man...

Unfortunately, when it came to her he always made a fool of himself, and he'd grudgingly come to accept that as a fact. It was something he couldn't change.

'Even now...' he thought to himself.

Even after being so comfortable around her...

Even after the time they'd spent together...

Her face was still glowing, and for some reason, she was  tickled by his corny joke.

It was terribly amusing, raising a small smile from her, one she hid with shyness.

Why was he so endearing?

'So cute...So weird.' she mused.

"Do you ...do you have any others?" She asked in a small voice, rubbing her right hand onto her left arm as she stared up at him with expectancy. Truth be told she wasn't exactly sure what had just happened. But it was like she felt lighter.

The angry, tense bubble they had been stuck in had just popped.

With his finger scratching his left eyebrow he looked off to the side, roaming over the floors of mother base as if the answers would lay somewhere along them.

"Ah, well, let's see," he mumbled, letting his eyes fall over to her for a moment, seeing her filled with expectancy, a small smile itching over her face.

'She's so...'

"Kaz?" she asked, finding him staring in silence too long.

"Oh, yeah...So, How did the hamburger introduce his wife?" He asked her with a halfhearted smile, growing more confident with the small giggle that left her once he set up the next joke.

"Wait, wait!" she said holding up her hands, " give me a second!" she said, racking up her brain, " I feel like I know this one!" she said, placing a finger to her chin.

"You just have to give me a second!" she insisted, making his smile broaden.

"I'll give you five," he said holding up his hand with his fingers extended out.

Frustrated she huffed, crossing her arms as he counted down, eventually forming a fist before her face as all his fingers went down.

"Alright then, how ?" she asked him with a cute little pout that made him chuckle.

" Well.." he started, leaving her in suspense, "He said... meat Patty," Kaz continued, making her roll her eyes as the pun settled onto her.

" I could have gotten that ..." she murmured, " It wasn't that clever."

Grinning he lightly poked his finger to her forehead, "But you didn't, did you?" he asked, with amusement.

For just a moment they laughed together, all before it ceased, a placid smile on her face as she gazed at the man. And he did the same, staring at her lovingly, his smile present.

Silence then followed, the rest of the world going by as it always would, leaving them to themselves. By then he didn't care who looked on, or who laughed.

Silently, she knelt down before him, taking hold of the fallen crutch in both hands.

With gratefulness he took it from her, making sure the piece that held onto his forearm was securely fit to him.

"Thank you..." he said softly, and responding back with a quiet ' welcome ', she avoided looking at him, a smile so beautifully painted onto her face that it left him near winded.

'I can't help feeling this way,' Kaz thought to himself, wanting to take a hold of the rosy cheeks before him and squeeze them, teasing her for being so adorable.

"And I'm sorry. " He added with the same gingerness in his voice, giving her a rueful twitch to his upturning expression. " ...I suppose that's probably what I should have said instead." He continued on, huffing out in shame-filled amusement, trying to play on with lightheartedness. He knew for a fact he had screwed up, and it had to be addressed.

" But I guess... I guess I panicked," he admitted, hanging his head. "I'm not the best in these situations," he went on with a sluggish shrug. "It's just...seeing you cry like that..." he trailed off, looking away from her.

"It really broke me," he admitted, " And my mind went blank..." he added.

'You make my mind blank...

You turn me into a bigger idiot...'

"If it's any consolation, I think your tuna joke was ...well I can't say good, " she said drifting off herself, but with a playful undertone. " It wasn't good, but It was cute," she said laughing at the sullen face he was making, his hand reaching up to hold his own forehead as he groaned.

"At Least we can say that!" she burst out.

"Well," he started, "You were laughing like there was no tomorrow," he pointed out with haste, falling into the same jovial mood she was trying to play with.

"Ah! Only because it was so bad!" she fought back, a broad smile on display.

She went to babble on more, becoming even more animated with the more excitement that she felt, trying her hand at a couple of awful puns he couldn't help but chuckle at.

And he couldn't stop staring at her, throughout the entire time he couldn't keep his eyes from the (e/c) woman, because she looked prettier when she smiled, and he felt happier when she did.

Immensely so...

"Wanna hear another ?" he suggested, the smile on his face stretched out enough he showed his teeth.

" I've got plenty more," he told her, his elbow held out to her.

"Shall we?" He asked.

He would have happily held hands with her, but it was the best he could do, hoping she'd take his offer.

She hadn't thought long before she placed her hand in his care, stepping closer to him, looking up at him with the same shining (e/c) gems head so greatly fallen in love with.

"I want to hear them all," she decided, not missing an opportunity to walk with him and spend more time together.

He smirks, taking a long drag off his cigar before snuffing it in a left over beer can.

"Let them be jealous," he mumbles. He pats the countertop beside him. "If anyone worked half as hard as you, they'd get a day off, too."

You wander around to his side of the counter, leaning back against it just close enough to hope he picks up on the cue. He slides you his glass and lets his fingers hover around the rim until you're forced to brush against them to grab it.

"You should consider your company a privilege," he adds.

"Why?"

"You're different. Smarter. Cunning."

"I've never heard 'cunning' used in a positive light."

"You've never hung around the right crowd. One should feel...honored."

You giggle, sipping at your whiskey. "That's a lot coming from the Legendary Soldier," you murmur, fighting a smile that would blow your cover. But maybe, you think, you should let it be blown. "Boss--"

He pushes back from the counter suddenly, tossing back a shot straight from the bottle.

"I'm bad at this," he growls. He slams the bottle behind you, stepping into your body with his full weight until you're pinned against the cabinets. "Never been good at the small talk."

You barely have time to lose your glass before he's dipping down to kiss you, his lips crashing into yours so hard that you wonder if his teeth broke skin. His kisses are harsh, greedy, his fingers rough against your face and the taste of cigars and whiskey flooding your senses. Your skin burns and not from the liquor; need flashes over you like wildfire and you whine against his mouth, desperate.

Some part of you wonders how long the two of you have been waiting for a moment alone. Weeks, months maybe. The way his hands paw at your fatigues implies longer even though you know you've only been in Zanzibar for a short amount of time. Your own fingers find their way beneath his black t-shirt just in time to hear the kitchen door rattle.

Panic rushes over both of you. Your first instinct is to duck -- it's not like there's any time to run -- and Snake has to go along with it. He leans over you against the top of the counter and greets someone you can't quite hear, fishing in his pocket for another cigar.

"I just had a couple of questions," the soldier asks. "You had something on today's training I don't understand."

"Yeah?"

It's more of a grunt than an acknowledgement. You can't help but notice the way his fatigues are strained, his cock pressing against the thin fabric with the intent to break through just inches from your face. He shifts, obviously uncomfortable, and you run your hands up the insides of his thighs slow enough that there's no noise.

The soldier prattles on, giving you enough time to work your fingers through the button-fly front of his fatigues. Snake leans into your touch unconsciously, shuffling a little more forward as he listens to whoever is on the other side of your counter. He covers his own sharp inhale with a drag from his cigar as you slip his cock free of the rough fabric.

You marvel for a moment as it bumps against your cheek, thick and harder than granite.

It jolts when you brush your lips along his shaft, twitching up in anticipation as you kiss the head lightly. You swallow it soundlessly, unable to take all of him but determined to try, feeling his thighs tense beneath your hands as he struggles to keep quiet.

"Where's your platoon leader?" he asks, straightening a little until he can push into your mouth.

"I am the platoon leader."

"I-...forget about it for the day. It's Sunday."

"But sir--"

"Go on to the next segment and I'll take over later."

As soon as the door shuts behind him, Snake's hand is in your hair. He pushes your head back against the cabinets, rocking his hips against your face even as you try to take even more. Your moan encourages a growl from him that makes you writhe on the cold floor.

"I knew I liked you," he says lowly, guiding your head until you're bobbing along his cock at a steady rhythm.

He knows when your jaw begins to ache. He can tell by the way you try to angle your head a different way, your body arching away from the cabinets with effort.

You know he's strong, but the way he hefts you up from the floor still surprises you. You know there'll be bruises beneath your arms from the grip he has beneath your arms but you don't care; you're more concerned with the way he struggles with your own fatigues, his fingers stumbling over the buttons until you nearly rip them trying to open them. He snatches them over your hips before he whirls you around, leveraging you against the counter until he can align himself.

When his cock presses against your entrance, your mind blanks. Just the pressure of it against you is enough to make you whine in anticipation and you try to drive your hips back into him, urging him to take you until the first few inches make you regret your eagerness. He quiets you, leaning over you to curl his hand over your mouth.

It takes quite some time for him to ease into you, making shallow thrusts until you're limp bent over the top of the counter. When he bottoms out you see stars.

"Quiet," he says again, barely moving his hips until he knows you've adjusted. "It's your own base," you remind him. "What are they gonna do? Fire you?"

"Mutiny when they find out I really do play favorites."

You never imagined Big Boss to be a gentle man and you are correct. His pace is as rough as you dreamed, skin slapping against skin as you arch back toward him in ecstasy. His hands are everywhere, pulling at your uniform, snatching at your hair as the thrill of it all sets in. The thought of being caught makes him frantic and the added layer of adrenaline feels downright feral.

It's enough to push you to an early climax. He presses his fingers past your lips as you crest to keep you silent and they taste of whiskey just like his mouth, making you keen even louder as the pleasure washes over you in violent waves. You shudder beneath him, the release more intense than you know how to handle, and his own orgasm hits without warning.

He traps you against the counter as he comes, his fingers clawing at the smooth countertop for any sort of control or grip. Each aftershock drives him deeper and deeper, twitching inside you at just the right angle to make you grind back into him for more.

The mess that slides down your thighs is the least of your concerns. You want him again and your scheming is already consuming you.

"Briefing at 23:00," he says, breathless, reaching down to pull your fatigues back up despite the ribbons of cum painting your legs. "My quarters."

"Yes, Boss," you manage.

Sweet Child Of Mine

Kaz pouted, his index finger wiggling before large (e/c) eyes. Lovingly, he watched as little hands reached for the digit, hoping to catch it, but with no luck.

"One day you'll hate me," he said softly, his eyes trained on the chubby cheeks that rounded as his sweet little angel smiled, not knowing how troubled he truly was.

And then there was something else that came to mind...

"You'll start dating …" he said lowly, not being able to stomach down the idea of her heart breaking, something he knew would inevitably happen.

Instantly, his expression changed. Down went his brows from their concerned upturn, and his little, sad pout morphed into a nasty sneer,

“I'll kill him, I swear I will.” He growled, immediately boiling at the thought. “If anyone makes you cry, I won't hesitate,” he added with malice, all of which made the little girl gurgle happily.

She couldn't even begin to comprehend how much he loved her, or just  how much he was willing to fight for her,

‘I’d do anything to keep you this happy,’ He silently swore.

A tiny giggle, both feminine and sweet made him stop seething, his attention straying over to the (h/c) young woman approaching him. 

Her hands fell onto his shoulders, sweetly squeezing them as the point of her chin fell onto the space between his neck and shoulder, nuzzling to the spot with a happy, little hum.

"You're so cute," she said with a stretched-out grin. 

Her lips then pecked at his cheek, giving him a quick smooch as she let out yet another amused titter.

“ It's not funny,” he said to her, his whole hand falling onto the baby's head, gently running over the soft little hairs on her head, amazed at how perfect she was from the little strands of (h/c) on her head to the tiny toes on her feet.

Rolling her eyes, (f/n) spoke, “ She won’t hate you,” she said with assurance. 

“Yeah, there will be a time when she’ll probably outgrow us, or,  at the very least, it might seem like it,”

 ‘- She won’t really need us as well,’ she thought with a downhearted sigh, knowing her husband had also thought of it before. 

“I think about it too; don’t think doesn't come to mind,” she added with a somewhat strained smile, her (e/c) eyes laying onto the small bit of her that lay wiggling and dancing beneath the gaze of her parents.

“It comes with ups and downs,” she reminded him. “Luckily we’re in this together,” she added, truly,and utterly happy.

 Absentmindedly, he leaned his head to the side where (f/n) was, a small murmurer falling past his lips,

With All My Heart

Her back lay flat onto the small bed, and not a second after, her head joined, fully rested onto the mattress, infecting the sheets beneath them with her radiating warmth.

- And it didn't stop there, her comforting heat traveled more, spreading out of her like the sun's own rays would, reaching her beloved and enveloping him in the sweet radiance as well.

He also came down, hovering above her, his hands both laid flat on either side of her head, the rest of his body lowering closer to cuddle towards her warmth, affectionately cradling his loving sunshine with his own adoring tenderness, reminding her that her love was well returned and requited.

A small kiss was placed over her left eyebrow, rising a sweet smile from her, and as he came back up to take in all of the preciousness of the cute grin he'd aroused, he stopped, winded by what he had captured instead.

For a silent moment, his eye was aimed to hers, focused like a curious crow's would be at the sight of gleaming silver.

She'd enticed a concentrated connection none one could break.

Havoc could be wreaked right outside their door, and he wouldn't have the will to tear himself from her. In fact, there was a good chance it would all be ignored, not even left as an afterthought.

He kindly moved aside her now messy bangs, moving the stray hairs out of the way to admire her sweet (e/c) eyes.

The two gems had always fascinated him, along with everything else that had to do with her. So, It wasn't to say that he'd never noticed them before, or given them the attentiveness they deserved.

If he were being truthful, he'd admit that everything about her was bewitching. Everything about her was stunning, but there was just something especially wonderous about her (e/c) eyes that tantalized him.

Whether she was saddened or angered, joyous or even dull in mood, they held a captivating charm that bewitched him, drawing him in with an effortless, yet powerful pull.

He could have sworn he knew every detail about the amazing gems he'd stared at for months, but to his surprise, there was something within those shining beauties that had changed.

There was a new glow that he hadn't seen before, and at the discovery of it, his body moved on its own, following what silent orders her (dark/Light) eyes gave him.

With his ungloved fingers, he traced over her facial features, tracing the lines that would exist if he were to draw her. He took in everything he could, to the point of even seeing her as he closed his eyes, his mind not knowing anything but the woman his fingers were softly grazing.

"You look beautiful," he muttered, the words coming out low and breathless.

At his sudden admittance, he watched as her face began to blossom with new color, bashfulness showing as she drew her eyes from him, too embarrassed to look at him straight on.

"John..." she muttered just as softly, having no real response for him but the dumb little mutter of his name.

He'd called her beautiful before and she never came to believe that perhaps there was a hidden meaning behind the instances.

She wasn't doubtful of his words, not when he looked so spellbound, and especially not when he touched her so gently, because she was well aware that a touch so sweet couldn't exist without there being tenderness there.

She wasn't doubtful of his proclamation of love, but she was far too modest to look up at the neediness that was notable in his gaze.

Furthermore, she was beyond flustered due to the thickness of his voice as he had spoken to her just then. There was a want that existed for her, and that was what had her so rattled with both exaltedness and anxiousness.

' - But I want him too,' She reasoned, 'I want him just as much,' She thought to herself with a thick swallow, drawing her eyes back over to him, her face still blazing with the same timidness his loving gaze had arisen.

'And I want this...' She declared with certainty, not willing to back away from him more. 'I don't want you to think otherwise, John...I don't want to back away from this,'

She looked at him with the same sweetness he would always get the pleasure to taste when their lips moved against each other.

- She didn't want to hold back anymore.

Batting her eyes up at him, she began to smile, prompting him to offer her a soft smile of his in return, his face inching closer to hers, nearing close enough that his nose lightly grazed hers.

Their hot breaths and pants mingled, becoming one just as they soon would. Tension...

Anticipation... They both felt it.

Instinctively, her lips twitched, more than ready for him to touch them, a pang of disappointment striking her when it was delayed, seeming to never come. It was a merciless play that she thought was unfair and cruel, leaving her body shivering.

Taking notice, he released a soft chuckle, repeating the action yet again, the tip of his nose barely touching hers with another featherlight brush, watching her expect the loving press the second time as well, "John..." She murmured in the same sweet voice that had the power to make him do just about anything she wanted him to.

"Please stop teasing me," she begged, sounding smaller and smaller as she continued to speak. It was killing her, the deprivation of a single kiss paining her so much, it was nearly unbearable. "Please... kiss me, just kiss me," she said with a hushed voice, still small yet full of demand, screaming of need and desire.

Her plea though soft, yet as powerful as a lion's roar, making his skin riddle with goosebumps.

"Of course," he said sweetly, "But first," he started, licking his lower lip, feeling it suddenly go dry.

There was just one thing he needed to let out and let her know, "I'll be gentle." He said softly, "I'll try," he added, meaning it wholeheartedly. "So, tell me if I'm hurting you," he continued on while his hand gently grazed her cheek. He couldn't bear to hurt her, and wouldn't ever dream of it, even if it was as unintentional as it could come.

"You can tell me anything," he told her, hoping she wouldn't withhold her pain for his own sake.

With a docile nod, she offered him a sweet smile in return, her stomach filled with fluttering butterflies, the little creatures doing all the tricks they knew.

Shaking her head she answered him back, "I trust you," she said in a breathy tone, her eyes batting close as he gently pressed his lips over her forehead.

"I trust you John..." she assured him, "And I love you... I love you so much," She added, her voice quivering, the quake in it making the man give her yet another smile as he moved to press his lips over her eyelids where just beneath them, small tears began to collect.

He didn't know what reason existed behind the misplaced kiss, not understanding what fueled him to lay one over each of her closed beauties, but he reasoned that perhaps there was no other reason aside from his overflowing love taking reign, his body set to pilot mode and controlled by his heavily palpitating heart.

- He wanted to kiss every bit of her, love her all he could to make up for his absences, past, present and future.

She kept complaints to herself, knowing there could be nothing done but wait, and he appreciated that. He appreciated not just her love, but her dedication and patience with him.

With the final detour taken, he moved over to her lips, giving her the smooch she'd begged him for from the start, and that she'd been so desperate for. As he had expected, she eagerly responded back, diving in with desperation.

She replied back, kissing him just as fiercely, pouring in all the love she felt through the heated collision as though it'd be the last one they would ever share, and she had to cram a lifework of affection in one, single press.

Her back arched, her two hands placed at the back of his head as she floated up to a cloud higher than 9.

She nearly forgot to breathe, her sole focus placed on the addicting taste of his invading tongue, the wet muscle eagerly exploring the warm space within her mouth. A deep, drawn-out moan then fell past her, muffled by their wet kiss as she felt his hands grab her sides, each of them placed at her hips and squeezing them as though he had ownership of them already. 'I'm yours... I'm all yours!' She chanted in her head as she became mush in his manly hands.

They parted in what felt like too soon, her lungs immediately filling with air as she gasped loudly, staring at him with a desire for more of those wildly mind-numbing Kisses.

He took half a second to draw back in, aching for another kiss as well, hard presses from his lower half colliding with the rising of her own hips which had instinctively moved.

"God (f/n)..." He mumbled, his teeth scraping her lower lip, tugging lightly, causing her body to let loose of a small shudder of delight.

Her hands slid over his shoulders, working back the black elastic holding his dark hair together. Successfully, she loosened his chocolatey strands, her fingers weaving through the long strands with blissful joy as they continued to make out.

His lips then traveled down, finding a small spot just behind her ear to give attention to, making her upward thrusting cease with a loud gasp as he circled his tongue over her skin. His fleshed hand, ungloved and fully bare slipped beneath the edge of her periwinkle turtleneck, the skin both soft and smooth against his rough palm, a difference he could feel.

Molding her clothed breast through the thin material of her undergarment, he could feel the small peak risen beneath the cotton fabric.

"I love you," He told her, " (f/n)...I love you..." he repeated.

Nodding quickly, she gave a strong heave, "I know..." she breathed out, her (e/c) eyes gazing up at the ceiling, the two twinkling gems tearing with joy. "And I love you too," she huffed.

She loved it when he told her, when he wasn't afraid to admit to her that she meant everything to him.

There was a beautiful feeling that came with his words, and it always made sure to stay for hours, making her feel alive.

His lips left her skin, and he rose up, both legs still on either side of her waist as he stared down at her with haggard breathing, looking arousingly wild as well as manly and overwhelmingly sexy.

His right hand reached down to her, starting from her lips, grazing down to her navel, his eyes connecting with hers through the entire movement. He stepped off from the bed, his hand held out for her, and without question she took it, soon being pulled into his chest.

Again their tongues danced, meanwhile both tasked themselves with going through their lover's clothes, piece by piece falling to the ground, discarded and forgotten. Completely bare, she gazed up at him, seeing the hunger within his gaze grow more.

Swallowing hard, she gave herself fully, each movement of hers being run by the thudding muscle within her chest, letting it guide her.

Again they fell onto the mattress, their naked skin brushing against each other with each movement they made, her mind going hazy as his large hands preoccupied themselves with her most sensitive spots, knowing just where to touch her as though he already had the manual to her own body, having studied it dutifully beforehand. 'This is the best feeling ever...' she thought in bliss, not feeling pain at his first plunge within her, instead, feeling nothing but completion and fullness.

His body hovered over hers, and she felt like she was covered by a soft blanket that protected her from the rest of the world,

'Don't let me go...' she thought to herself, breathing hard.

- And she didn't have to tell him, because he wouldn't ever give her up.

He wouldn't let anything but the feeling of love touch her.

She felt his hands caress her naked body, affectionately petting her sides as he picked up his pace, every stroke striking her at her most vulnerable spot, sure to raise a moan from her, "I love you, John," she murmured, never growing tired of proclaiming her love to him.

Her arms were then tightly wrapped around his neck, her face remaining hidden onto the crook of his neck as his hand slid down her hip, running over the side of her thigh until it landed on the back of her knee, lifting it to hold it within the crook of his arm as he continued to thrust within her.

"- I love you so much," she repeated, her panting breaths fanning over his sweat glossed skin.

"- With all my heart," she added, her body involuntarily shaking as they were both almost at their highest peak.

Together, they enjoyed his night home, withholding nothing from one another, falling deep into the scathing waters of passionate lovemaking.

Care

He could feel his right hand clench, fingers curling so tightly together towards his palm that they trembled with the force. 

Nails pierced through the skin, puncturing through the rough surface to form small bloodied crescents.

He could feel the stinging, the hot burning as he drew blood through the curved indents formed by his puncturing nails. He could also feel all of his muscles stiffen tightly and grow rigid, the burning sensation over every inch of his person, down to the tips of his toes. 

The straining in his limbs was all too present, and he could swear upon it with certainty. It was all there, and yet, as he looked down towards it, towards the trembling, fisted hand, there wasn’t anything to stare at. There wasn’t a hand to look down upon, and hidden beneath the olive-colored pants he wore, there wasn’t a leg either. 

It should have been common knowledge, something he should have drilled inside by then, yet somehow, it always managed to slip past him. He failed to process their absence, because, in truth, it felt as though they were still part of him. 

His murky coated eyes, once a charming soft blue,  slowly trailed to his shoulder where the sleeve of his beige overcoat moved and danced with the strong winds, courtesy of the moving chopper.

’It’s not there, ’ he reminded himself yet again because no matter how many times he repeated it, he found it hard to truly believe.

It wasn’t there, along with their old base…

Along with all their old comrades…

Along with everything they had built... 

None of it existed any longer, because it had all been stolen from them, ripped right from their grips, and taken without mercy. “Everything taken from us… and now…” he trailed off, looking down at their invaded mother base, unable to finish the sentence. 

“It’s my damn fault…” he muttered lividly, because he was to blame, and no one else could take the credit for his mistake. 

“…And I can’t even go down there myself,” He continued with a snarl. “I can’t do anything here… Not with these phantom limbs,” he lamented, feeling utterly helpless.

 It scathed him, burned him from within to know he was useless. 

What good was it to feel them there? 

What good were they if they were nothing but delusions, meager ghosts of his past? 

He was missing so much in his present time, and he had thought there couldn’t exist another pain similar, that somehow there wasn’t anything else he could lose. 

What more could be taken from his single, empty hand? 

- And he had even asked himself such a thing, ‘What more can I lose?’ 

He so often swam in the thought, never once looking far deeper than the surface, never once taking into consideration the one precious piece in his life that had somehow found its way to him, and that he so foolishly spurned. 

He had pushed it away, wholeheartedly convincing himself that there was only one thing to gain, only one thing to strive for: 

Revenge. 

He was so blinded by the single goal of vengeance and the satisfaction of someday grasping it, that he mindlessly overlooked how much there was to gamble…

How much was on the line. 

...............................

The blonde pulled up a faint smile, one that was filled with astonishment more than anything else. To his relief, they had gained control of their base back, all without a casualty from either side,

  “Leave it to the boss to pull it off,“ he said with a sigh of relief.

‘Still, I don’t know what I was so worried about...’ He thought to himself because he should have known things would work out in the end.

However, even after their successful win, a naggy, little feeling was still there inside of him, jabbing him with thin pins of anxiousness. 

‘Why...Why can’t I shake this off?’ he questioned himself. 

He felt a strange sense of urgency, a deep discomfort wedged right in his chest. With tightly furrowed brows the man clawed his hand over his chest as though it might have been a stupid itch irking him, but of course, that wasn’t the case.

- It all seemed well enough, an easy wrap so to speak. 

Whatever mercenaries against them had given in as their leader was brought down, each and every one of the trespassers laying down their arms, submitting for a show of mercy. 

He himself had voiced to them the offer of leniency if they so cherished their lives. 

They’d be spared if only they’d surrender, and that’s exactly what they'd done.

It was supposed to be a victory…

His eyes strained to see the small figures, one of the handfuls seeming very familiar to him. 

It wasn’t too difficult to pick out the woman from the crowd around her when she was dressed so differently from the other men and women on base, so his eyes naturally drew to her.

And as he caught what he was sure was the sight of her, he could feel his chest grow heavier, the sense of urgency spiking as he focused on the small figure. 

‘Something's wrong,’

“What’s going on?” he asked himself with a short mutter, and as the last word rolled out from his tongue, a familiar sound erupted, splitting through the calmed air with its echoing roar. 

A traveling bullet erupted by an opposing rifle, finding its destination within a heaved chest, the hot slug piercing through the center with a quickness that took only seconds.

 And it was only at that moment, that very instant the unmistakable sound of gunfire erupted, that he came to the realization of just what was on the verge of loss. 

He had realized what had been weighing down his heart. 

The sinking feeling had been a sense of foreboding. The sixth sense he’d been granted had been warning him to go to her, to find her before anything happened to her. 

But yet again, he had fallen short.

He watched her body fall, landing on her side first before she turned over, her bleeding torso pointed up to the same direction her pretty face was.  

'Why her?’ He asked himself.

It wasn’t thought he would have found any pleasure in it being anyone else rather than her, because in his perfect world none of his men would ever see an end. 

They’d have nothing but victories. 

However, he couldn't help but ask himself such a question, finding it mind-boggling.

Why had it been her? 

Of the crowd of many, of the entire army of mercenaries, it had been the one person he was certain had never even touched a weapon, much less been stained by another's blood. 

She was someone that hadn’t really had anything of her own, aside from a name, one to which she clung to desperately. She held onto the only thing she could call her own and define her, holding it precious because it was what linked her to her obscured past. 

And although it seemed unlikely to find her way back to the life she had before, she still had hope for it.

She had her name, as well as the still existing faith, and nothing more.

 Some would claim she truly didn’t have anything, and that all in all, she was unfortunate, and, perhaps, to a certain degree, plainly stupid. 

Those who did believe her and her story felt she was being foolish to be so naive in a longing desire far too improbable. 

A certain few found it admirable, but overall simply felt sympathy, a sentiment far too close to pity because they knew she wouldn't ever find the answers she searched for. 

And then, of course, there were those who still had their doubts about her, being utterly distrustful of the strange woman. Without holding back, they made it known that not everyone welcomed her. 

But even then, through the hostility and the doubt, she was someone who was still grateful for life. 

And he could see it.

 Kaz could see it in her smile, in the careless little grin she sprouted every so often, either alone or with company. 

It wasn’t feigned nor some mask she wore to hide her true self. 

No... 

She was joyous with just that single possession, and with what small joys that fell into her hands. Meanwhile, others would lament their fate. 

Others who had more, yet felt spiteful, just like he did.   

The ugly feeling festered as he began to feel robbed yet again, played by the same merciless deity that had toyed with him before. 

He just knew that wherever it was, it watched him crumble, measuring how deep he could fall, and how far he could sink before he couldn't take enough, 

 ‘Why her of all people? Why someone so...innocent? 

What faults did she have?’

His vehicle came closer, and as he caught better sight of her, he instantly felt cold, feeling an icy chill running over every centimeter of his body, almost as though he’d fallen through the cracked ground of the arctic and left to sink down the endless, icy waters. 

Chilled to the bone, he stood stiffly, clutching his chest with his only hand. 

His breath came out staggered as though he’d been running for hours on end, his heart ongoing in a furious pace with anxiousness as silence fell upon them. 

The quiet was ongoing, lasting to what seemed like an eternity as he watched one of the men with her fall to his knees while at her side. 

He made haste in tearing off her sticky, stained blouse, the plain white button-up infected with scarlet, turning completely red as he pressed it to her wound with hopes of stopping the bloodflow, desperately doing the best he could. 

However, he was clearly no medic, the man being nothing but a simple grunt knowing only combat.

Luckily, the combat medics soon came flooding in, falling to her aid, making the determined man move aside as they worked on her. 

Kaz watched with deaf ears as they hastily bandaged her, enough so to move her without letting her bleed out.

The unconscious, (h/c) haired woman was then placed into a chopper, surrounded by medics, each doing a job of their own, doing their best to make her hold on until they reached the medical platform where they could do their best work. 

The last Kazuhira saw of her was just as they carried her into the vehicle, leaving behind only two other medics, both tending to three other soldiers, none of which seemed to want the attention, the men being fine with what they considered small scrapes. 

 As he landed, he walked up to the men, all of which saluted him, regardless of their positions and health, such as loyal dogs would do, which left him astounded at how dedicated they were to their organization, much more to their vision. 

“Are you men alright?” He asked them, dismissing them to move freely with a small wave of his hand. 

‘ To hell with all the protocol,’  

He wanted to see the damage himself. All in all, he wanted to know just how much weight he would have to carry on his shoulders. 

“Nothing much here sir,” One of the medics replied to him, giving him a brief nod before taking off his bloodied, latex gloves. 

Miller watched on as he threw them aside, the blood staining them not matching any of the injured men as they were clean of the hellish color, save for the one man who had desperately tried to aid the woman.

 They oozed with the same gore left behind on the grounds of their base, and it was plainly easy to see that it was all hers.

The man’s hands, as well as the medic’s gloves and even their home, were all stained by her fleeting life. 

“- Nothing but a few flesh wounds,” The medic specified, placing a hand to one of the injured men’s shoulders, the said man nodding somberly, a single motion carried out as he averted his green colored eyes down to the still painted floors, all with a hardened glare. 

His dirty hands were both placed over his knees, fisted at the joints, his head beginning to hang low as he processed the entire ordeal, coming to terms with what had just happened. 

…………………………

 Mutely, Kaz stared at the blackened sky, quietly observing it. 

Everything after the event felt like a blur. Hours progressed and the lovely blue sky darkened into A starless indigo, and during then he was stuck, simply glancing up at the somber moon, staring at the small, thin crescent, like it was the most interesting thing in the world. 

He was stuck on the scenery, seeming to be entranced by it when in reality, his mind had blanked. 

He had gone through the rest of the day without doing much but stare over at the atmosphere, ignoring everything else around him, finding it all trivial. 

Warm colors eventually found their way to the empty space above, waking him from his daze. Far gone the nightly hours, the sun would begin to rise and paint the sky a different shade, and the mashup of quiet darkness clashing with the infecting warmth brought him back to a moment he hadn’t thought of before, 

 ‘On a night like this, you came to us,’ he remembered, recalling that the quiet night from before was near identical to the one he gazed at.

‘ well, almost the same,’  He corrected himself, his train of thought stopped by a loud voice,

“Commander Miller!” He heard one of the mother base soldiers address him, the sound of rushed steps stopping as the man stopped with a perfect salute, his posture rigid straight, chest out and chin raised slightly as he waited for the superior to address him back.

“…What is it?” he asked the dirty blonde-haired male, not bothering to take his gaze off of the large, lovely canvas that was the sky, witnessing as the amber colors began to invade with a slow, but sure win.

“I’ve come to inform you that I’ve just gotten word from one of our medical personnel. 

She mentioned to me that miss (f/n) has gone through the procedure successfully. She seemed to have pulled through the operation after all! ” He informed the commander, and at the news, Kaz’s eyes drew down from the starless sky, all of his focus going towards his messenger.  

“- It actually seems like luck was on our side after all,” The medic added with a slight smile, his impassive face having shifted lightly with a show of good nature, though he clearly hadn’t intended to do such a thing. 

“Is that so? “ Miller replied, his eyes closing, a breath of sweet air inhaled through his nostrils. 

He then felt a feather-light tickle brush the innermost part of his heart. 

‘She actually made it…’ he thought to himself. ‘She actually managed to pull through,’ He thought while his shoulder’s muscles relaxed, melting. He then realized he wasn’t the only one to show personal affection towards the woman, and that he hadn’t been the only one relieved, 

“A personal question, of course, something you are free to answer as you wish...but what do you think of her?” he then asked the other male. 

He knew it was strange to ask, but even so, he questioned the other person, peaked with intrigue.“ Again, you may speak your mind... At ease,” he added with a placid expression, not showing any type of hostility, but neither overjoyed, nor persuasive, coaxing an answer from the other man easily. 

Surprised at the sudden question, the other blonde stayed stunned for a moment, but sighed softly afterward, the soft blow of air coming out with a slight tinge of amusement, 

“Well, I’ve come across her only once.” He admitted. “ And I didn’t think much of her at first, given the circumstances she arrived here with…” he muttered with admittance. “ You could already imagine sir,  I didn’t trust her all too much,” he elaborated. 

And with a single, slow nod, Kaz accepted the answer, not needing more explanation in regards to the other man’s previous doubts. He didn’t need to question further in that regard when he’d been on the same boat before, something that he regrets to have ever entertained.

“I am to understand you’ve changed your perspective then?” Miller asked the soldier, a slight quirk of his brow. Shaking his head, the other man smiled, “ I can’t believe how wrong I was,” he responded. “There’s no doubt…she’s a real diamond,” he added with certainty, his words having strong meaning, that or perhaps Kaz was thinking far too much about it. 

Nonetheless, at the response, Kazuhira pulled up a faint smile, “ I couldn’t agree more,” he replied back, “You’re dismissed,” he told the mercenary, and before he knew it he was on his way, moving to make his way to the closest LZ. 

It hadn't been his immediate thought to take the small trip, but once he registered just where his body was leading him towards, he didn’t try to fight it.

 He didn’t have the will to make way anywhere else anyways. 

He needed to take a trip to the medical platform; It was a necessity. 

Once he arrived, he steadily made his way down the chopper, his sight landing on a pair of nurses, both women occupied in their conversation.

One was a dark-skinned woman with short, red hair cut in a boyish manner, the ends of her short,  naturally red hair curving. She also had large, nearly black eyes which were in actuality the color of dark chocolate if one were to really look at her. 

Her face was slightly rounded, giving the illusion of being much younger, her under eyes being the only thing that gave away both her stress and years.

The other was a pale-skinned woman, being so fair-skinned she had a nearly blue undertone to her. Unlike the other nurse, she seemed well into her 40’s, but at the very least,  her thin face and high cheekbones along with her tall, slim frame gave her grace. 

Her dark hair was tied into a tight, low bun, having all of her inky tresses tied up securely, save for troublesome strands at her sides.  To top it off she had slanted gunmetal blue orbs, accented by her naturally dark, lashes. 

As he came closer he could hear a hint of European accent come from her soft shell-colored lips.  

“Commander Miller,” one of the nurses said with surprise, being the first to engage the approaching man, having caught sight of him from the corner of her eye before her friend had. 

Her dark, espresso-colored eyes looked on at him with interest as she turned to him fully, waiting for whatever question he had. She was wholeheartedly surprised, because as far as she was aware of, he had no checkup scheduled, giving him no real reason to visit the platform.

 At her side the other nurse stared on as well, her striking blue eyes also sparked with interest because she was just as jarred.

“I’m here to see someone…,” Kazuhira started, uncertain on just how to say it. 

It shouldn't have been hard, but he fought hard not to stumble on his words, knowing he was so close. 

 “(f/n)… Right,” the first woman responded with a short nod, stepping closer to the man. As far as she knew the only person to come in that day was the young woman.

 “Yes… Miss (f/n),” the redheaded woman repeated in a way that wasn't actually meant for the man, more of a confirmation to herself as she was still filled with surprise. 

Nonetheless, she lifted up the chart she had tucked under her arm.

She had actually just been handed the report a few minutes ago, not having paid mind to it until then. 

Shaking off the majority of her initial stun, she answered him, “Of course, she came in today,” she murmured, looking over the first three pages, her dark eyes skimming over the written notes, nibbling on her thick, rosewood tinted lower lip as her eyes dashed through the scribbled notes. 

“ Fortunately, she’s out of danger now, and from what I can see she shouldn't have any issues with a good recovery,” she informed the Blonde man with a mellow smile, giving him a sure nod. 

"You have nothing to worry about, " she added, but that wasn't enough for him.

“Is…Is she allowed any visitations?” he asked, continuing to speak to the naturally tanned redhead. 

At the question the other nurse fixed a strand of her black hair behind her ear, shaking her head with a soft smile, meanwhile stepping forward to join into the conversation, “ visitations..?” She started with a soft blow of air in lukewarm amusement,  “Well sir…She hasn’t even woken up yet,” she explained, breaking in the news for him, her friend next to her giving out a small hum of agreement.

"She’s been asleep this entire time, but we can assure you, you have nothing to worry about, " she continued on, hoping that would give him comfort, “It’s actually very common after a big surgery.”

At the news, Kaz’s mouth opened up to speak, but instead took in a small breath, “I see,” he said back, his lips pressing together tightly, soon looking like a deflated balloon, 

 “Thank you very much,” he said softly, beginning to retreat with dejection and notable disappointment. 

It was just his luck…

He had already begun to walk away when the first nurse’s eyebrows shot straight up, her face seeming to brighten with a new idea as a lightbulb went off over her head.

“ Commander Miller!” she said excitedly with a very short jog, easily catching up to the handicapped man, “ Commander Miller, do you really want to go see her?” She pipped, having noticed his obvious gloom, not being able to simply leave things at that. 

She tightly pressed the clipboard over her chest as she spoke to him, “ Because you can! You can pass by and at least check up on her, it’s no problem at all,” She offered. “If anything, I think a nice visit would make her recovery fasten!” she blubbered on, animatedly speaking as she pulled the man along enthusiastically.

At the suggestion, his expression had grown brighter, the corners of his lips rising up slightly as he nodded with appreciation, “If it’s no trouble,” he answered back, giving her a dry chuckle, seeming to be embarrassed, enough so to have a soft glow residing over his face. 

Quickly having caught on to the other nurse’s intentions, the brunette female pulled up a smile, finding the situation to be rather adorable, watching as her redheaded colleague eagerly led the man to where their newest patient stayed. 

He was led inside by the nurse, left on his own as he entered the lonesome room. 

Once within the white room, Kaz stood before (f/n), his sight set on only her. 

He watched her steadily breathe during her resting state, her chest slowly rising and falling. The only other noise there besides their breaths was the rhythmic sound of the heart monitor as it rang within the quiet room, telling him that she was alright, and at the very least, still alive. 

“You know…I thought we lost you, “ he admitted, forcing a small smile over his face as he swallowed down hard, “But I guess you’re more of a fighter… stubborn to fall as well,” he added with a small chuckle. 

“Actually, the more I think about it, you fit in quite perfectly.” he mused. “…Because It’s not every day one gets to pull through from something like that little stunt you pulled,” he voiced out.  

“ Hell, I thought that… let’s just say I thought the worst,” he breathed, receiving no response. 

And though she was still quiet, he wanted to speak to her in order to get things off his chest, and perhaps relieve some of the heartaches he’d held. There had been a scathing burn he felt boiling him alive, destroying him inside out, and he needed to save himself from its pain.

“I …I came to see if you were alright,” he said softly, using his gloved hand to caress the side of her face, the back of his fingers barely touching her, pulling away some of the strands of (h/c) hair that had fallen over her face. 

“You know, the sky isn’t as beautiful as it usually is.

In fact, it seemed rather empty last night, save for the moon of course. I’ll admit that even I wanted to hide away,” He informed her with dry humor.

 “ I’m almost certain it’s not a coincidence,” he added, speaking more to himself, feeling that somehow her absence was what had made the night sky grow solitary and melancholic. Heck, even the sunrise hadn’t felt as lively as it normally would be. 

- It all felt like something was missing.

Giving a short, forced cough, he spoke again, “ Anyways as I said, I came here just to make sure you were alright, and you seem to be doing well,” he said quietly, looking down at the woman who seemed to just be sleeping. Still, he knew better. He could see the small tubes forced down onto her wrist, pumping in clear liquid. 

He could see her worn face, drained of life, and paled as though she’d bled out her natural (s/c) color. He could clearly see the mask covering a good portion of her face, placed there to help the young woman breathe. 

He was aware that in all the time that had passed she hadn’t opened up a blink.

‘She's not well…’

 “ I know I should be going on my way now,” he told her, “But…But I’m afraid to leave, “ he confessed, struggling to admit that to her, having to tear his eyes off of her to voice the concern. Instead, he stared at the monitor as it showed the visual leaps of her heart, the mellow pace being comforting to him.  

“That and I have so much eating at me right now,” he said with an airy sigh, feeling frustrated.” But it’s not like I can just stand here forever,” he contemplated while shaking his head. 

He stared at the steady beating for a few minutes more before hesitantly moving, but only going as far as to stand before the closed door. 

‘ What’s haunting me the most?’ He asked himself, knowing his hesitancy lay in that question,  the question that would unroll everything. 

‘ What’s holding me back here… making it impossible to leave you...’

Why was it so hard to say? She wasn’t even aware that he was there, so it should have been nothing to him.

Leaning close to the doorway, his head fell back and he looked up at the ceiling,  “ It just wasn’t your fault, You know?”  he muttered, “ If anything it was mine…and yet, what good does it do to know that? In the end, you’re the one paying for it,” he said while tightening his grip on his crutch’s holder. 

“I don’t see how that’s fair… and I still can’t wrap my head around it,” he added. 

He stood motionless for a handful of minutes, at least a good five, still immersed into his thoughts, having so much more to say, but not knowing just where to really begin.

‘I should be happy you’re alright,’ he thought to himself, glaring over at her, watching her chest rise and fall ever so slowly, nothing changing from when he first entered the somber room. He felt pain right at his breast, and for a second time, he forced his gaze from her, knowing what pain it caused him. 

Instead, he trailed his eyes up to look at the ceiling, living through the silence with her. Closing his eyes briefly, his forehead wrinkled with visible glabella lines as he frowned.

“That bullet was meant for me,” The short, auburn hair man said with a deep sigh, “ It set off right before me, ” he said softly. “ He took his shot, and I fall…. But only because that woman thought she needed to save me. “ He revealed. 

“ She had rammed her shoulder onto mine and knocked me over,” he explained. “ And she didn’t even make a noise…She was as quiet as a mouse, actually,” He mused with a shake to his head. 

“Hell, I've heard bigger men curse, but not her.”

“ And you know what the worst part is? “ He said, trailing his evergreen eyes up at his silent friend who only listened to him as he continued to speak, “ I was badmouthing her earlier,” he confessed. “I called her a traitor… Said I didn’t trust her right in her face...And then she goes on and proves me wrong,” he said with a dry, short laugh. “...’ Goes and makes me look like a complete bag of shit.”

“- Now I owe her my life, “ he continued on, and at his side, his dark-haired colleague nodded in agreeance, “ She did what she did because she wanted to,” the other man explained, finally inputting his own opinion. 

“ That’s all on her, but if anything you do owe her some appreciation, and an apology at the very least,” he told his buddy, putting a heavy hand to his shoulder, 

“ Be a man and suck it up,” he advised with a snicker. “Unless you're too much of a coward,” 

Kaz had Idly stood by, going unnoticed as he continued to listen on to speaking men. It had been advice not directed to him, but fitting nonetheless. At the very least he did owe her an apology, and he had sworn to give her one, even if it was the last thing he’d do. 

Even if it was with his final breath, he knew it had to be done.

“I’m such an idiot,” he grumbled to himself, trying to steady his breathing, the irking pain not wanting to let itself be forgotten. 

‘ Would an apology even begin to heal things, or even make up for anything? ‘ he wondered. ‘Would she even accept it?’

And as he continued to question himself, he failed to notice the twitch in the (h/c) woman’s fingers. Her (e/c) eyes drew towards him as she shifted her head, looking to where he stood. 

Only after a harsh swallow did she speak, alerting the man.

“ Commander miller…?” She said with a small, muffled voice,  making his hidden eyes snap straight before him, back to where the woman lay while her face directed at him. 

Through the ending moments of her sleep, she had heard a far distant voice, deep and low speaking. It was saying words too muddied out that she couldn’t understand them, but she knew that she was being addressed. 

She knew that someone was there in wait of her response and in a way, it coaxed her out of sleep.

She felt a strong need to speak back and let it be known that she was listening. Through it all, she felt as though she was being dragged out of a sinking state, pulled from calm, warm waters by a desperate hand.

She slowly lifted up her upper body, a deep exhale drawn out as she forced herself up, her eyes squinted hard. She struggled to adjust to the new light, squinting hard before sluggishly rubbing two balled fists over her hazy eyes.

 Quickly blinking away both the strange, splotchy colors that came with the harsh press to her oculars and the tiredness alike, she directed her attention back to the figure. 

She managed to focus on the blurry shape in her room, and though she slowly grew to see him perfectly, she still couldn’t grasp that he, of all people, was there. 

"It is you, ” She said with perplexity, still sounding muffled by the mask.

He was leaned against the wall closest to the doorway, only five steps from the exit actually, his gaze set up high, but that changed once he heard her voice, instead, drawing all of his focus onto her with a caught breath.

Everything seemed intact from where she was, just as she had last seen him. 

He had the same crisply worn clothes that seemed perfectly cared and pressed with the color beige draped over two different shades of olive, and of course, just a splash of crimson, courtesy of his finely fixed tie. 

He had the same pulled back, golden blonde hair,  flaring out from its ends and held there by the neatly placed beret, and of course on the beret was a small patch symbol of the diamond Dogs insignia sewn onto it. 

Lastly, what most defined him were his signature, dark-tinted aviators covering his eyes, ones that she noticed he wore around all the time. 

‘Miller?’ she wondered. ‘But why?’

“ Does the light hurt your eyes?” He asked with a tone of simplicity, sounding almost robotic, something that seemed greatly ill-suited for him. 

She was accustomed to the strength always present in his voice, the passionate sound of his words be it full of order, or befitting anger. 

He had always seemed like wildfire to her, even with the limitations he had due to his handicap. Before, just as she remembered him, he had seemed so filled with drive, his purpose always present in his eyes, even though the dark tinted lenses shielded them. 

Though now he didn’t sound like the man she had come to recognize him as.

He sounded empty… weak.

‘Why?’ She asked herself the same question again.

Nodding silently, she dropped her gaze down to her overlapped hands, caressing them with each other, not knowing what else to do. 

She gave a slight grimace, feeling her palms moisten with subtle perspiration, small evidence of her unease. Finding use of them, she forced the medical piece providing her air down over her chin, the green elastic of it running down to hang around her neck as she freed her lower face.  

“Ah, no, I just needed to adjust.” She responded airily, staring down at the thin sheets, trying to collect her thoughts. 

‘Why am I here…?’ she asked herself, truly at a loss.

She could feel discomfort close to a burning ache at the center of her chest, and curiously, her hand skimmed over the area, grazing her fingers over the thin, surgical green gown covering the flesh.  

‘What happened?’ she continued to wonder.

He watched her move, observing as she gingerly pressed over a large patch of skin, feeling it sting like a nasty bruise.  

He then wondered if she even recalled the event, because she seemed so utterly confused, not yet processing why she was there.

He licked his dry lips, deciding to give her the answers he knew she was begging to ask, “You’re here on the medical platform,” he began, “ There had been an infiltration early on yesterday,” he added, trailing off, giving her time to reflect. 

Seeing her slowly begin to recall the event with notable understanding in her (e/c) eyes he continued, “You...You took a bullet right to the chest,” he told her, “It almost went right through you,“ he informed her, watching as she continued to gently press her fingertips over her chest, wincing as she felt tenderness. 

She continued to touch the spot, closing her eyes with a shutter, for a few seconds reliving the moment when the searing hot slug dug into her flesh.

 The memory had come to her slowly at first, being guided by his words from the start. It came through at a slow pace, but returned all at once with full force as she made that last press over the wounded area. 

A slow, shallow breath left her as she remembered it all with vivid detail. 

The searing, hot pain she felt was remembered as well as the sticky red fluid and the quickness in which her blood had been coursing through her veins just minutes before then.

She recalled that there had been an indescribable ringing in her ear during the time, and it was a tune that echoed after the deafening sound of the gunshot had been released. 

Presently, it was rolling in her ears once more in remembrance of the event, making her shiver with unease,

“Right here…right?” She murmured,  taking a steady breath through her nostrils, carefully drawing in air. “It’s right here,” she added knowing that it had gone through her chest, because that’s where the pain was felt.

“Yeah, ” He confirmed. “It’s actually amazing you survived. Nothing short of a miracle.” He said while staring down at his gloved hand, looking away from her, unable to stand the sight of her any longer. 

She looked so tired, even after so much sleep, having had more than just a handful of hours of rest. 

He just couldn’t stand to look at her being so fragile, and he felt even more burdened with the idea that perhaps he had been the one to wake her up, depriving her of the needed slumber. 

“…It almost went right through your heart.” He added in a somewhat small tone, specifying what part of her had been cut through. 

For a second she stopped, lifting her eyes to him with downright surprise, (e/c) growing wide as her lower jaw dropped a centimeter to give a soundless attempt at speaking.

‘ through the heart…?’ She thought with alarm. ‘ Had it actually pierced a portion of my Heart?’  she wondered. ‘ Then...How am I even alive?’ she asked herself. And then it dawned to her that perhaps she wasn’t the only one to have been in such danger. 

- She hadn’t been alone when it happened.

“ What about everyone else? Is everyone else fine? “ She asked, hoping that if anything, she had been the one to receive the worst. 

“… Aside from you, there were two others injured, but it’s nothing they can’t recover from though. So, there’s no need to worry.” He informed her.

“Just a cut and a bruise,” he added. 

Nodding, she responded, “ That’s good.” She said with relief, a soft sigh emitted.

 “I’m glad they’re fine, “ she said with a small voice, her eyes squeezing together, nearly closing as she smiled. 

He gave her a short chuckle, shaking his head at her response. "To think that’s what concerns you most,” he muttered. “You do know that you’ll have to stay here for a while…A good, long while actually.” He informed her. “The injury is very serious, you can’t just go and walk out like nothing happened,” he told her.

“ Of course, “ She agreed, her smile dying down a portion, “ But I don’t mind, I already spend a lot of my time here on the medical platform anyways,” she admitted, not at all bothered. 

She managed to make it through against very strong odds, and she wasn't going to complain about that. 

‘ I guess I have to make the best out of it,’ she thought tiredly. 

A moment of silence then fell between them before she cut through it, asking the question truly plaguing her:

“Say, commander Miller..?” she asked him, and with a shake to his head, he responded to her, stopping her before she went further.  “It’s just Kaz, You can just call me Kaz,” he told her, and at his invite to a far less formal address, she felt warmth begin to creep over her face.

It had to be some wild dream of hers, she was growing convinced of it.

Was she even allowed to do so so openly? 

‘ He can’t really be serious,’ She told herself. ‘ Maybe I didn't make it through Afterall,’ She thought with mildly dark humor. 

“ Um...Kaz?”  She said softly, smiling at him daintily,  just barely lifting up the corners of her mouth up shakily.

 And when he caught sight of her, and that small twitch of the lips, it weighed him down, leaving him stupefied. 

 The sound of his name coming from her felt so strangely wonderful, and accompanied by adorable dust of color washing over her face, he found it priceless.

“Can I really call you that?” she asked, unsure, knowing she was stepping over new grounds, much more with a man like him. 

“O-Of course, of course, go ahead… What is it?” he responded, leaning in closer to know just what she wanted. She could ask him anything she wanted, and he’d be more than happy to give it to her.

“I just wanted to say, Thank you for worrying.” She said with gratitude, deciding it better to leave her question behind. 

He had his reason for seeing her, and while she’d kill to know just what brought him to her, perhaps it was better to simply go along. 

It could be saved for later.

 “ And thank you for coming to see me,” she added, taking a slow, steady breath before slowly falling back into the small bed, making sure to move in a way that wasn’t so brash. Her head hit the pillow first as she eased herself, and after that her eyes fluttered closed, smiling all throughout because within her stomach were small fluttering creatures, tickling her insides with their light and soft, paper-thin wings. 

“It means so much to me that you came,” she added airily, wishing she had the strength to keep upright, but her body felt so darn heavy almost as though while she had been asleep the world changed force in gravity, forgetting to give her the memo.

He took a small breath right through his parted lips, holding on tightly to the holder of his crutch, both her words and the sound of his name echoing without a stop in his head, making his heart grow heavier before it went still for a sudden halt.  

Hearing her sound so wholeheartedly grateful to him was too much to bear, becoming too much for him to handle. 

Her gratitude stirred within him the pot of all his dumped emotions, and it was always the bitter ones that came through the hardest. 

He hated how much stronger they struck him than the better, more pleasant ones. 

Unfortunately, he’d always been that way, unable to just let things go.  

He wanted to focus on her being alright, and moreso be satisfied by knowing she felt enough openness towards him to call him by just his name. 

Hell, just the way she beamed at him should be enough,  but he just couldn’t stay happy with that.

‘ Why?’

  Why should she even owe him a single word of acknowledgment?  

Was it because he was the one she woke to?  

Was that her reason for gratitude? because despite his failure to protect her, and not just her, but everyone else, he had enough guilt to go and see her?

‘Thanking me because I screwed up again,’ he thought sourly. 

“It’s my fault...They slipped through right under my nose,” he started, sounding gruff and low voiced, murmuring once more the song of a scratched record, catching her attention. 

Her ears perked at his voice, and she decided to once again sit upright, using her elbows for support, then moving to use the palms of her hands. 

”Are you alright Kaz?” she asked him, wincing slightly, her pained face reminding him of the deadly wound she now carried around. 

She felt like she had an anchor weighing her down, but she began to worry about him and his sudden change in demeanor. 

Something was brewing within him, and she could tell from the stiffness in his body as they locked eyes.

’Am I alright? 

You ask me if I’m fine… You worry if I’m alright when you’re the one with a hole in her chest. 

- When you shouldn’t even be alive to give me that pitiful look…’

“You’re here because of me,” he said angrily, snapping at her, glaring at her darkly, surprising her, and making her jump slightly. He showed her his frustration, his outrage at her lack of animosity towards him because she should be just as angry as he was.

 No…even moreso. 

She should resent him for putting her there, rather than even spare him a single kind look. She should despise him for having doubted her, and what was much worse, for having been the first to have been opposed to her when she was in need of a home. 

All in all, she should hate him...

He continued to look at her with reproach, all the while maintaining his antagonistic glare, for a moment reminding her of the man she had first met, the one who couldn’t stand being in the same space as her. 

Yet, while he looked at her with disdain, she had quickly come to understand that the reasoning behind the burning fire within him now wasn’t hers to blame.

Truthfully, there was no one he was angriest with other than himself. In fact, that was the only person he was truly spiteful towards, so much so that he couldn’t even catch sight of his own reflection without feeling disgusted.

“I might as well have pulled the damn trigger myself,” he added with self-reproach. 

He then realized that that was the reason why he couldn’t leave before, why he couldn’t just apologize and leave it at that. 

- It was because of the heavy guilt gnawing at him. 

It wasn’t just that he wanted to know she was alright. It wasn’t simply that he had been needy to feel her close. 

The truth was he wanted to let her know he was at fault, but that despite his mistakes, there wasn’t any part of him now that wanted her to suffer. 

There wasn’t any bit of him that felt she deserved any of it.

She made a small noise of amusement, a simple blow of air coming from her nostrils that made him snap his eyes towards her quickly, that alone catching all of his attention.  

She sat on the small bed, gazing up at him with a look he couldn’t quite describe. He had no time to question her before she spoke, just barely above a whisper, and with attentiveness, he listened on not wanting to miss a single utter from her mouth.  

“Would you have done so Kazuhira?” She asked in a breathy tone, “ Can I ask if…well… would have decided my fate that way?” she continued. “If it would have been out of your own desire,  would I still be breathing now?” She said faintly, not knowing what answer to expect. All she was certain of was that she needed to know. 

If he was ready to spill it all out, she might as well gather the strength to do the same. 

There was more than one fool in the room, both sharing the spot to the title. 

She was curious as to why one day he saw her as vermin, and then the next he stood before her, a man who seemed more wounded than she was, like she had somehow shared her pain with him. 

Alongside that, she was still confused, by not just his own actions, but by her own sentiment towards him, and she wondered if there was a connection there.

She wondered if there was a part of him that felt it too. 

Maybe, through it all, there was a little string that kept them tied together.

“What are you talking about?” he asked her, feigning to be a fool, but fully aware of where she was leaning towards. 

“Would you have gotten rid of me? ” she asked, clarifying her question. “You can tell me the truth, “ she coaxed him,  “I just want to know, “ she explained looking towards him with her pretty (e/c) eyes. 

He staggered towards her,  wishing he could kneel before her, but instead just stood before her, ready to spill it out,   

“I despised you,“ he told her. “ And I sure as hell didn’t trust you, “ he admitted, to which she closed her eyes and nodded slowly, accepting his answer. 

‘ I’m well aware,’ She mused, actually pleased with his words no matter how much they expressed his disdain of her in the past. 

‘It is the past,’ She reminded herself, knowing he was most likely not feeling the same. 

“We didn’t know where you came from, or who you were. Not a soul had a clue as to what you were, or if you were even human,” he told her. 

“I was so sure you were an enemy strategically planned to tear us from within,” he admitted, sighing heavily. 

He was well aware of  how stupid and paranoically ridiculous he sounded, continuing on in spite of it,

“But then, I don’t know what happened, but I began to have a sense of regret. I began to have doubts on your supposed ill intentions.” He went on. 

‘And that’s where you began to be kinder...’ She inwardly voiced. ‘That’s why the sudden change happened...’ She concluded.

“ And then to top it all off, you did the unthinkable… You acted on your own accord, putting yourself on the line for people who weren’t your own, valuing their own lives above yours. “ he confessed. 

“I watched it happen myself, and even now your only concern is of another,”  he told her. 

“ You thank me with such sincerity, “ he murmured. 

“ I know I’ve hurt you so much already,” he told her. 

“But you don’t deserve it…You never did...And if I could, I’d do anything to make sure none of this ever happens again,” he admitted. 

“I’d give anything to make sure you stay safe from now on,” he told her.

“ And since we’re letting it all out…I have to ask you something as well,” he started, swallowing up a large, exasperated breath, 

“ I’d like to ask if you would be willing to forgive me. 

(f/n), would you forgive me for hurting you?” he asked her, “Would you forgive me for putting you here, and for just about every mistake I’ve made with you? I know it’s too much to ask of you, “ he went on, but stopped as he saw her nodding furiously as she accepted him. 

Her face brightened as she tightly squeezed her eyes, smiling until the muscles on her face became sore, unable to conceal her jubilation before him.

“I’m sorry,” She said shivering, giving him an apology for breaking off his sentence as he had just begun. 

“ I’m just so happy that well… I’m just  happy I matter to you.” She said in a small voice, her hands laying over her lap fisting onto the sheets, crumpling them beneath small hands. She struggled to say the words, stammering to admit to him that all in all, his acceptance meant a lot to her. It always had, because, for some strange reason, she had always been drawn to him like a brainless little moth to a flame. 

It came as though a second nature, just like those silly little creatures in search for the moon, and anything that resembled that reflecting light. she drew toward him, towards the wild flame he was, all in search of her path. 

And even if she was a hindrance to his existence, even if the flame would burn her to nothing but ash, she wanted to come closer to it. 

A force beyond her pulled her in.

She couldn’t explain just what struck her as she first laid eyes on him, but it was powerful enough to make her heart jump. In a moment where she should have been distraught, she felt happy, the man before her making her feel that strange joy.

“Even if it’s just a little …” she said with a tiny chuckle, belittling herself for being so pathetic, "Even if it’s just a little bit of concern, I’m happy you don’t want me dead,“ she confessed, wholeheartedly laughing as she continued to speak, her hands clutching her chest as she felt pain.

It was such a sweet feeling that made her feel cared for and dare she even say loved, that she pushed past the ache. 

“ And I forgive you for anything that has happened before now,” she told him. 

'-And I really thought it was all a mask… How could I have been such an idiot?’ he thought with a soft sigh.

“ You’re a part of us now, “ he started, "You said you have no family? No home to trace back to, right?” He asked, taking a breath through his nostrils and lifting his chin up with pride, wearing the insignia of his own people for everyone to see on his beret. 

“Diamond dogs will be your family,” He said, assuring her because there wasn’t a doubt in his mind, not a single part of him that had to second guess her any longer.  

Not any more…

“ I … I’ll be there, ” He vowed, “…with you,” he said softly, tenderly gazing at her. “ And If you do get your memories back, and well… decide to leave us behind…” He trailed off, not knowing how to really finish without sounding like a fool, giving a small sigh of both frustration and hesitancy. 

It was an actual shutter that left him, leaving his spine to feel a ticklishly cold sensation.

'What am I saying…?’ He wondered, 'Just where am I even going with this? ’

 Inside his chest, his heart thudded with a wild frenzy. ’Am I actually making such a proclamation? Would she even accept me?’ he wondered with uncertainty. 

‘Now of all times to spew this nonsense…’

In his chest, there was also something there meant for her, a spot his heart had labeled as hers before he could have protested. 

Just like she was, he was aware of it, but unable to truly understand it.

His words made her wounded heart feel warmth, even the ones that were left unsaid. He had revealed enough to let her finish off where he was headed. Unwillingly small tears fell down the sides of her face, falling with barely audible, small pats, decorating the soft colored sheets with dark, little spots.

“You promise?” she said looking towards him with the same joy.  

Small, clear droplets caught his attention and he bowed his head slightly, a smile twitching at his lips, and just like that the feelings of darkness began to wash away from him, replaced with calm warmth instead, all accompanied with a fluttering joy. 

It had never been that easy to get rid of them, but as he continued to look at her, it was like she blew them off, all with a small breath.

“I mean every word of it,” he told her, and though his heart palpitated with the same wildness it had before, it felt strangely welcoming. 

It felt beautiful, unknown, yet beautiful.

There was a silent pause, one filled with comforting quiet, and every second it was unregrettable. 

He wouldn’t change the small moment for anything else in the world, because not even the night sky on its most star-riddled night held as much shining beauty and glory that her twinkling eyes did as he captured her image. 

He couldn’t find a single sight more preprocessing than her. 

Not a single sound more calming than her small breaths.

Not one song more melodic than her lovely voice’s beautiful tune.

- Everything about her left him awestruck.

“Thank you for visiting me Kaz,” she said gratefully. 

She was overjoyed to have his handsome face be the first she recognized once she woke, and much more, the moments that followed.

 It was all worth it. 

It felt like a new beginning for her. 

“Oh! Is this time good for you?”He asked her suddenly, confusing her with the sudden question. “Umm… well, I honestly don’t know what time it is,” she admitted. “I just woke up remember?” she reminded him, “ I’m not even sure if the sun is still out,” she added.

“Oh, of course…” he murmured, feeling stupid. 

Was he rushing things too much?

“It’s 0900… 9 in the morning,” he clarified. “ I was wondering, because…” he said with a partial struggle, “ well…” he said softly, his face feeling warm, visibly glowing pink. “I have time… And I want to make sure you get better. “ He said drifting off. 

“I thought that perhaps you’d get lonely here,” he continued to explain, knowing he was babbling, but not having it in him to stop.

Catching on to what he insinuated, she smiled brightly, “If you have time, I’d love to have you as company,” she said happily, A soft color of petal pink touching her face, the man not being the only one to show soft bashfulness.

“I’ll stay as long as you want me to, “ he told her, using his crutch to push over a vacant chair’s leg to glide it over to where she sat. 

Slowly sitting down on it, soon after offering her a faint smile.

And the words come out naturally from him, enjoying every twitch of her lips as he tried to make her smile. 

It was his mission, because each time she did so, he felt joy rush through him. 

And it wasn’t that he simply cared about her.. he felt so much more than such a meager feeling towards her.

 He wanted to admit that to her, but for the moment, despite knowing he had her forgiveness, he knew he had to make up for all her heartache. 

He had to make up for all his wrongdoings first. 

He’d make certain that pain never found settlement onto her lovely face.

-For now, he’d excuse himself by admitting it was that he cared for her. 

Part 2 ( Optional of course) - [ Sweet melody]

Was that alright? I haven’t found too many fics with the MGS characters…I can’t be the only one to want some.

In His Hold

She'd thought she'd done everything right. She'd given it all she had, trying her hardest, her damn best at following each and every one of the instructions the doctor had given her. 

She'd written down every dream, every thought she had, recorded them all on to once blanked sheets, leaving absolutely nothing behind. 

The journal aside from her bed was at its last page, thoroughly filled with thousands of words, scattered scribbles here and there as a result of her frequently rushed haste. On various mornings and even scarce nights that came, she instantly dove right into the personal diary. 

Upon the first notion of wake she'd have, she'd work her hand with the black ink falling upon the thin lines.

 Every single occurrence within her deep consciousness that she could recall was recorded, and through it all, she had been strummed on the hope of finding something to indicate where her true home was, or at the very least, something that led her to believe she was close to finding her true self.

Her hands tightly clutched the canary yellow top railing, fingers curled around the metallic rods with heavy strain visible within the shaking, balled fists. 

 Her shoulders then began to move along with her quaking hands as she leaned in more towards the edge, all while looking down at the seemingly endless waters dancing beneath the built base.

- And then her mind blanked.

 With watering eyes, she swallowed up a heavy breath while a shock of paralysis shut her body down.

Gusts of warm breeze wafted past her, carrying off (h/c) strands of loosened hair, swaying along with the pace of the blowing winds. Gently, the flowing pieces attempted to tickle her cheeks and call her back to reasoning, but with no luck.

 She was still void of tranquil delight as well as the panging affliction that should have been there.

 During then she felt nothing from within, while outside the vessel in which she was, the gradual lure of the earth's gravitation strummed her in, offering her envelopment within swaying aqua.

- And then everything went quiet.

Slowly closing her eyes, her small fingers began to uncurl, her still body falling more over the edge.

A strong hand then landed right on her shoulder, heavy pressure falling over it before she was jerked back harshly, nearly thrown to the center of the platform she was on.

 Stumbling back on wobbly legs, she stared wide-eyed at the man who had yanked her back,

"What are you doing?" he asked her, a harsh undertone coming from within him, visible lividness rising from him and etched onto his rugged features. Like a shocked deer in the headlights, she stared straight at him, her breath being swallowed up and released in heavy pants as she shook her head from side to side.

With a visible, exaggerated crease being drawn between her two brows, she dashed her eyes back to the spot he had torn her from, the inside of her mouth drying at the sight.

With wide, unblinking eyes, she continued to look towards the spot, wondering what he was as well...

what exactly had she been doing?

'I wouldn't have...' She thought to herself, ' I never would,' she continued on.

" (f/n)," he said gruffly, making her startle, causing her train of thought to crash. Her two (e/c) orbs whipped back to him, knowing he had been thinking the worst. She began to blubber, not knowing just how to justify what he had seen, because she wasn't even certain what she was doing.

She observed as his eye came down, falling over to his feet before he gave her a steady nod, approaching her slowly, the attempted sounds of speech coming from her falling to deaf ears.

"(F/n)," he said again, "Are you alright?" he asked her, a notable change in his tone, sounding concerned, mellow coaxing coming from his lips.

And with the question, another shock hit her, this time causing her to wither.

From where she stood she looked small, only growing tinier the longer he gazed at her, and he knew it was just something of his imagining, but the longer he looked at her the more  frail she seemed, almost like a glass doll. 

And with certainty, he concluded that perhaps that was the best way to describe her, 

A pretty glass doll, one right at the edge of the surface, ready to fall and break at any second, shattering into a million pieces.

"Boss," she said in a very small, croaky voice because she could not find much more to say. She couldn't find the strength to force out another word when she desperately attempted to swallow down the thick lump caught in her dried throat.

She sucked in her thick bottom lip in between her two rows of teeth as she began to feel it quiver. Her (e/c) eyes drifted right, then falling down, away from the intently gazing man and over to the sight of her heeled loafers, remembering that not even the things she wore had been hers. 

 She had nothing of her own, nothing in which she could hold onto and give faith into any longer.

 Soon after she shut the two (e/c) drops tight, painfully so in attempts to hold back the stream of sorrow from making an escape.

She didn't want to look weak, but as she sucked in a long breath through her flaring nostrils, she felt unable to fight the overbearing feeling of sheer helplessness that had weighed her down.

She was senselessly roaming the earth without purpose and true meaning, only existing...existing in a world she felt she didn't belong in. 

And It wasn't just the loss of identity. 

It was the detachment from the world she felt, because it was as though she was from another space and time altogether.

' Just who am I...?' she asked herself yet again. 'Where do I even belong?'

What was her purpose if she didn't even know who she was to begin with? What did she have to keep stringing on to if she couldn't find a single grasp at anything besides her name?

 And what if that wasn't even hers? 

What then?

She felt the world spiraling down, drowning her into a whirlpool towards the center of a pit of nothingness. Slowly,  everything began to crumble, trapping her in a merciless void of darkness where it was frigidly cold and above all terrifying lonely. 

Tears fell down her face, cascading over her heated cheeks and dripping down her chin.

Her hands, both trembling came up to caress the sides of her arms to ease even the slightest bit of warming to her shivering, chilled body. However, rather than feel the heat she desperately craved for, there was nothing but numbness to rely on. 

Her legs bent right at their joints, and she descended down, ready to crash onto the hard grounds of the only place she could define as home. 

But as her body gave in to the pulls of gravity, she was caught mid-fall and forced upright, and it was then that she felt the warmth.

She felt a sunny warmth cocooning her crumbling body into secured safety, holding together the pieces of her heart that would have certainly scattered.

All trembling in her body stopped and again her eyes shut tightly as she felt immediate warmth circling around her. It coiled like a slithering serpent over its small prey, leaving her almost suffocated and without breath, but even so, it was a hold she didn't dare find reason to slip out from.

Until then she had only felt numb, but in that very moment, within his hold, she felt that she was really in the body that belonged to her. Instantaneously, she felt all the switches flicker on within her, and a feeling of belonging let itself be known as every sense of hers had begun to spring with life.

The words came from her slowly as she took a moment to find her voice again, and despite the weak sounding tone in which she spoke when she finally mustered the strength, there was completely sincerity, and moreover, complete adoration traveling from within her heart.

" Thank you...Thank you Big Boss," she breathed as she inclined her head back to stare up at the man, drunk on the calming ease he brought to her, as well as the safe blanketing he had kindly draped over her.

His hold began to loosen, the snug capture dying out from her. As she was let go, she began to stagger back, slowly drawing from him, admiring him entirely with eyes full of mesmerization. 

And call her crazy, maybe batshit insane, but with the sun hidden behind him, just barely having remains of shine peek from behind him as he blocked the fiery star, he looked almost... angelic. 

During the long pause she took to gaze up at him, she noted that he was nothing like the demon she had heard others or even himself proclaim him to be.

It wasn't to say she was ignorant, nor nieve. 

She wouldn't go as far as to say he was a man that was innocent or anywhere near a saint, because he wasn't, and it was alright because he didn't need to be for her to admire him. 

Long ago, from the moment he had saved her, that was when she had begun to see him in the shining light.

To her, the picture-perfect angel had scars married over his face, more than likely carved over the rest of his body as well. He had only one eye visible out to the world, a single sea-colored gem, lackluster and filthy with more than regret. It was a dim jewel long tainted by filth, and yet still beautiful. 

It proved that beauty could prevail in disaster and tragedy.  

Her (e/c) colored eyes then moved and landed on the sharp piece of shrapnel embedded in his skull, the piece that was permanently lodged onto his cranium. She had taken notice of how It ended in a sharp point, seeming to be akin to the horn of some sort of devil, and that was perhaps the only connection she'd make with him to a devilish fiend.

'He's no monster...'

As immersed into him as she was, he also took part in doing the same in regards to her. With his lonesome eye, he watched her. Hesitantly rising, his gloved hand moved to lightly brush back her (h/c) colored bangs from shielding her (e/c) colored eyes. With barely grazing his uncovered fingers over her soft skin, he made the short hairs on the back of her neck spring up at attention from the contact. Her wide, glimmering eyes fluttered close, batting for a few seconds before they opened yet again to gaze up at him, a small glimmer in them teasing him with a soft glow. Gingerly, his thumb wiped off the last remains of tears from beneath both her eyes with slow movements, taking his time to truly admire the strange woman this time around because, in all honesty, he hadn't actually taken a moment to focus on her, not until then.

In silent awe, he continued to take in more of her sight and preprocessing beauty, greedily swallowing up all he could.

It wasn't until recently that he had felt a growing need to actually stand closer and learn of who she was, better yet, learn more of who she was becoming. 

Coming back to the base had become something he felt obligated to do so more frequently, and it was all to see her lovely face, in which each time he returned would glow with joy.

She told him of her new discoveries, 

What colors she loved...

What dreams she'd had...

What smells made her the happiest...

All the things in which she'd come to learn about herself were revealed to him, and admittedly, the little updates were treats. They tasted sweet and made him feel warmer. 

He had grown a soft spot for her, and everything that had to do with her became important.

Both his index and middle finger started their journey over the side of her forehead, gently traveling down and forming an invisible crescent, landing at the outline of her bottom lip. Slowly, his naked fingers ran over the outer trace of her mouth, and he noted that even without an artificial color to accent them, they were attention-grabbing.

'Stunning...' she was absolutely stunning in every way imaginable, causing his blue eye to glue onto her even more, the rest of his body gravitating towards hers. He inched closer to her, taking in every feature gracing her lovely face as he took the small steps, fully enthralled by even the small, dinky glistening droplets still clinging to her dark, wet lashes.

She sucked in her breath, little goosebumps riddling over her arms as she saw him slowly drift towards her, his hand now cupping her cheek, guiding her to him to meet him halfway. Instinctively, her eyes batted closed, waiting for his touch to reach her and take claim. 

And with movements that came as second nature, she stepped closer herself, daringly pressing her chest to him, the obnoxious sound of her rapid heart's song playing its strong beat from within her.

He shut everything out besides her, feeling her held so close to him, a mere millimeter from completely connecting with her and savoring the soft, teasing and plump flesh of her lips.

The sound of spurred boots was for the most part blown over both their heads and though V had rarely come at a time he wasn't attentive to his surroundings, with her right at his hold he had nothing more that was more important than her.

Ocelot had begun to speak as he rounded the corner, hoping to address V, as he knew the spot was one he frequently found himself in on his returns. But as his eyes landed on the pair, he quieted down almost immediately, staring at the very notable show of affection with downright surprise. Both his words and his movements were halted, not knowing how else to proceed or follow up with, because it wasn't like he had seen Venom so demonstrative about anything. 

Not his burdens, or his joys, not even his speculations were all to clear as all of it was kept locked away. There wasn't much that seemed to cause the man to show inner musings or affections, besides perhaps DD of course. But a dog and a woman were two completely diffrent things.

Having heard the newcomer's voice ring out closely, (f/n) retreated back sharply, taking three steps back with burning embarrassment, leaving the dark-haired man's hand still stuck mid-action. With his previously closed eye opening to find focus on her once more, he watched her sink her top row of teeth down onto the outline of her lower lip, slowly raking it over the soft skin until the sharp edges landed back in place over her bottom teeth. 

And with a blossoming color blooming over the alluring flesh as she grazed over them, he felt even more frustration in having been separated.

He pressed his own lips together firmly before slowly dropping his hand back to his side, looking back over his shoulder towards the icy-eyed man that had called on him. With a brief nod to address the tactical instructor, he urged him to continue on, having no other choice.

"Oh, well, I didn't mean to interrupt," Ocelot said shaking his head, raising his hands up in defense and staggering back with his words of retreat. 

A chuckle escaped from him, never having thought of running into the usually quiet man as he romanced a woman.

The thought had once been none existent, not ever being something to be considered. "No, No," Ocelot began wanting to give them space. He could give his friend space for the time being, "I could come at another time an-"

" Out with it, you're not interrupting anything," Venom replied back, completely turning to the retreating man. He would be outright lying if he denied feeling annoyed at the interruption, but it wasn't something to easily dive back into.

"Well, what is it?" He asked, approaching the blonde and leaving (f/n)'s side altogether. The said woman stayed motionless, unsure on what exactly she should do. Her mind was a mess of thoughts, silly little ideas and venturous ponderings on what would have happened had there not been an interruption. 

And to be quite frank, she wasn't sure if she could muster up a coherent sentence if she were to be asked something simple, such as a question in regards to even her name, the only thing she had been certain of at one point.

With a brief look to the (h/c) haired colored young woman Ocelot spoke, "Unfortunately these are matters only to be addressed to you, In your company only," he started, giving (f/n) the chance to excuse herself, leaving open a window of opportunity for her to escape. 

Snake as well turned to look at (f/n), missing the nod of dismissal Ocelot gave her as they wordlessly communicated.

Ocelot was always placidly kind to her, sometimes serving as good company whenever he found her lonesome, the large dog trailing behind him through the majority of the time. The silver-haired man enjoyed her good nature with DD, always having a smile present even if the creature had ignored his orders by pouncing on her.

Understanding the offered look, the woman gave a halfhearted smile directed at the two men, appreciation being sent off to both for diffrent reasons.

"Ah, well, I promised to accompany Mr. Codetalker today," she started. " He must have been waiting for me this whole time," she said with a sheepish smile, truly feeling guilty as she imagining the elder still waiting for her delayed visit. "Big boss... I...well... Thank you once more," she told him, bowing her head slightly to hide her once again blushing face as a gentle pink color rose from them.

 "I appreciate your concern for me... and your generosity," she said with graciousness, meaning her words. "And of course," she said with a brighter smile directed at the man, "Please be safe," she added before she turned away, giving the two men a final, short wave.

'I wouldn't know what we'd do without you... where I'd even be if it wasn't for you,' she thought worriedly, knowing that even with the legends and rumors, along with the chit chat of the motherbase soldiers as well, he still bled red. He was still mortal.

As she retreated she was stopped when a hand circled her wrist. 

The red-painted bionic piece held her firmly as Snake pulled her back slightly, and with eyes full of surprise she stared up at him.

As the words of question almost left her parted lips, he spoke instead, leaning down to her for only her ears to hear.

 His words were spoken for just her, enjoying having her close to him once more, " When I come back, it'll be just the two of us...I promise," he said lowly, letting his hold die as the final word formed.

Her heart leaped at his words, while her stomach bubbled like boiling water, not due to just the intimate closeness and touch, but of the words he withdrew himself from her with.

He wanted more time with her... 

- An uninterrupted affair, so to speak.

 Immediately, her face brightened with a joyful smile, this time itching close to becoming a widespread grin,

"I look forward to it," she said sweetly, the soft sugar in her tone set just for him, her heart set on his return. Hidden away from the pale blue eyes watching them, Snake returned a smile back to her, the uplift stunning her before he drew back from her entity. Watching her retreat, he continued to hold his gentle smile, the expression dying out before he turned back to his good friend, ready to hear out the intel Ocelot had set for him.

................................................

"Your smile is rather radiant today," the elderly man spoke in a calm tone, looking over out into the endless waters, having caught only a slight look at her from his side. It was once again, a beautiful sight to behold, and he enjoyed every moment of his venture outside. 

Slowly, his eyelids fell to cover his murky eyes, a breathy sigh leaving him as the warm touch of sunlight seeped through into his skin.

"Ah, just like the sun, you seem full of light today." He added.

She stood motionless, gazing over the same sight he had, her hands coming to touch his frail shoulders in a light hold. "You think so ?" she asked curiously, tilting her head slightly to her right, warmth still radiating from her face as evidence of her earlier encounter with the boss. 

Nodding codetalker smiled,

"Is he staying tonight?" He then asked her.

"Ah, no," she answered back, " not tonight." She said softly, her disappointment notable through her tone, but it wasn't like she attempted to sound scorn or displeased, it simply came out. She wished that he had stayed longer, or that perhaps his trips weren't as long as they tended to be. She would have been happy with either, but she knew it was all only bullish thinking.

"He's with Ocelot right now," she said sighing, " I suppose a briefing... before he takes off once again," she elaborated." but I wouldn't know," she said afterward, " it's not my place to ask after all," she added with a dry chuckle. Though, it wasn't like she had anything to do with the information herself.

craning his neck slightly to look back at her, Codetalker focussed his eyes on her, "Then what is your place young one?" he asked, his raspy voice being lingered with intrigue. " Have you found your purpose yet? what makes you breathe... exist ?" he asked her, and with rounded (e/c) eyes she stared at him stunned. Her mouth parted slightly as her jaw slacked, and seeing as his question affected her so fiercely, he gave a silent nod.

"Would it be that you still have no answer?" he murmured, "if so, you needn't feel troubled, many only find reason at the end of the road, you would be one of many," he said with a small smile slowly forming. "I myself have yet to understand what it is I do here in this world," he admitted.

Speaking to Codetalker was easy, he was an attentive listener, and she wholeheartedly believed they had formed a good friendship. She came to wonder if she had a grandfather just like him, one who was still around and listened to her problems, told her stories of his youth and past years. Or had she only ever had the fortune of having an old soul like him with her in her new life? 

- That was just another thought she'd ponder over.

"ah..." she started to try and speak, but shook her head instead, and with that, she chased off the look of perplexion and shakiness she had worn. "No," she said smiling gently, replaying the events of earlier in her head.

"it's not that...As you know...I've actually been thinking of that for a while now, and well..." she started, "I think I might know why I'm here," she said closing her eyes briefly, taking in a sweet breath of salted air with serenity.

"No... I know just why," she said with certainty, opening her (e/c) eyes up to the blue sky.

He pushed himself forward, grunting as he did it, his elderly hands struggling to move the chair forward until she slid her hands over to the holders of his chair, pushing him slightly, then turning his chair, being mindful to place it safely still and moving herself to stand before him.

"Are you alright?" she asked him, startled by his sudden movement.

"Come down child," he said softly, using his finger to urge her to come to the same level as him. She bent her knees as she came down, hunkering, but being mindful to keep her legs close together modestly, despite the generous length of the plaid skirt.

"Tell me..." He spoke, "Though, I can already assume what you are to say," he told her, " I still wish to see your face as you speak... to know what joy is when it is written over your face," he told her, thrilled the young woman had found something to grasp to, because he knew how important the matter was to her. He had felt guilty for causing her mood to sink when he asked the question before, but there was a glimmer in her eye that shined as he looked at her now, knowing that the doubt and uncertainty was far past her.

"It's with him," she said airily, her face brimming with the joy he had been anticipating. At her words, Codetalker gestured her to continue with a slow nod.

"I've come to realize it's at his side, with Big Boss."

"You must be well aware that it is impossible for you to live a life of peace then," he warned her. 

Nodding (f/n) agreed, "I know," she answered him, her smile becoming small and lukewarm with understanding. Looking down at her hands she continued to smile, "All I have, everything I will ever come to hold with these hands... it will all be because of him." She told Codetalker. "His kindness, it's what allows me to be able to stand before you, because if not for him, I don't think I would have lived to see another day," she admitted, not bothering to mention the earlier save, but it counted as well.

" And sure...perhaps to him, I am one of many, or maybe nothing at all...You can never be certain what's on another's mind," she continued on. " Maybe he never thinks of me like I wonder about him, or concern myself with him. Perhaps I've read everything wrong, " she explained. "Regardless of that, I still hold on to my decision," she added. "Besides...I'm just happy to be at his side," she told the elder man. "Something about him makes me feel so many things, lovely things I can only imagine are rare. 

I wouldn't be able to think of anyone else in the same manner I do him,"

"Whenever he needs me, I won't hesitate to follow his order, because I know my purpose is to be at his side," she said firmly. "I'll do whatever it is I can, whatever it is that these hands are capable of..." She said clutching them to her chest.

"Maybe that's why I'm here. why he was the one to save me. 

- Why the first thing I came to see was his face... hear his voice."

She would follow the man to the ends of the Earth, trailing behind him and following through his steps even through raging fires. She had no past, and though she knew that much, she knew that her future lay in his own mighty hold.

Her future lay in his vision, one she wished to see fulfilled.

With one of his hands shakily rising, Codetalker reached for her left hand, his other joining in to incase her own captured one once the first had a hold of it. "You are an exceptional young woman," he told her, " And though I trust your capability to choose your own destiny, I worry for your decision, and for your affections," he admitted. " One would be foolish to not acknowledge the consistent attentiveness you receive from him... and vise-versa," he told her.

At his words her face bloomed with color, arousing a chuckle from him. " Your feelings are returned... Rest assured," he revealed to her, making her eyes shine with joy, "...But know it will be a difficult path... filled with both hardship and compromise," he informed her. And though his words were cautionary, her face still brimmed with glee as she nodded, enthusiastically, " I understand," she said breathy, " I am aware, but I have nothing to lose, only everything to gain." she told him.

The sound of a chopper cut through the sound of crashing waves, and both (f/n) and the elder man fixed their eyes up at the approaching sound. Far above them and soon drawing away in their departure to their home was the man they had spoken of.

 He was off away onto another mission he'd accepted, off away onto dangerous territories. She watched as he closed the door to the helicopter. Smiling, she wordlessly wished him a good return, hoping he was to come back safe. She believed in him, and so she pushed out every worry she had for him. She convinced herself there wasn't anything that could put the man down, and even while bloody and to the last breath, he'd find a way to move forward.

' With just the two of us,' she thought to herself, ' would you open your mind to me? Or will I still be the one to reveal my ideas with you?' she wondered. ' can I come to know who you truly are?' she added.