Merry Krismas, @swedishgoaliemafia. In honor of our favorite old man's retirement this year:
Fun-employment
Joe gets the call the next day, early in the evening. He picks up immediately, grinning at the camera.
“Hey.”
Mario’s face fills his screen, looking tired. He smiles though, gap-toothed and lopsided. “Hey. I saw your video, asshole.”
Joe laughs. “Yeah?”
“Yeah, I can’t believe you lied to Burnzie about stealing his hat.” Mario shakes his head. He sets his phone on something, some table, so he can see Joe even when he leans back onto a small sofa. They’re both shirtless, but Mario’s got a bag of ice pressed to his side.
Patty will want to know about that when he gets home; he’s worrying about Mario full time now.
“He left it behind! What happened to you?”
“Oh.” Mario sighs, amusement and weariness in one noise. “Friendly fire. Ekky tripped during pregame horsing around and managed to bowl Nico into me and Duke.” He lifts up the ice pack to reveal a faint bruise around his waist. “It doesn’t really hurt except that my pads were digging into it in Carolina when I bent down too far. Just fucking annoying.”
“Burnzie told Pat that he misses you already.” Joe had been eavesdropping while he was clearing up the dessert he and Patty had split, but he figures Burnzie would want Mario to know that anyway.
Mario frowns. “Yeah, I wish we’d had more time in Carolina. He hasn’t responded to my text about you though. Did he know you were posting that?”
“No. Not even Patty knew. It was just a quick thing.”
Mario pouts and Joe wishes he could go kiss his adorable face.
“What?”
“You could have let me edit it.”
Funny, that’s almost what Patty said. He was dead on about Mario feeling left out of the process. It wasn’t a surprise to any of them that he wasn’t lacing the skates back on, but this is official. Joe knows that’s different. “Nah, you think people wouldn’t think it was weird if I started putting out beautifully filmed stuff? You’ve got too much talent, kid. This was just to get Mike to stop asking me if I’m really retired. Had to tell the public I’m retired for real.”
Joe expects Mario to groan, to tell him how frustrated he is with the team right now. There’s a stupid part of him that wants Mario to want him on the ice even if his glory days are well behind him. At a bare minimum, he can understand Mario dreaming of competence on the ice. They’re his safe space for that, all the things he won’t say to his teammates because he takes his job seriously and he’d never put them down; they’ve got the advantage of age for him though, the knowledge that’s sometimes you have to acknowledge that your line is playing fucking shit.
Mario softens instead. “Tell me?” He says it shyly, glancing away and then back again.
“Tell you—I’m retired?”
Mario smiles and nods.
“I’m retired,” Joe starts, tilting his head slightly. He watches Mario. “I’m staying home.” Mario looks almost pleased, though there’s still something wistful in his gaze. “I’ll be waiting for you to come home,” Joe promises, his heart aching a little with Mario across the country and Burnzie living away from them for the next few years and Patty moving into a more active management role with the team. Life is changing, no doubt about it; necessary change and good change, but Joe doesn’t know what it will look like in the end.
“Yeah,” Mario says, smiling with absolute love shining in his eyes. He curls towards his phone, hand outstretched like he can pull Joe through it, ignore a thousands of miles between them. “Yeah, you’re staying home. You’re my home now, eh? I get to come home to you and Patty.”
“Every day,” Joe swears. “Every day, Mario. We’re retired.”
Mario nods, like he can hear what Joe is saying. Maybe he can; they’re so much alike, good or bad. For people who are always moving, standing still and waiting for someone else is as deliberate a choice in love as they can make, a demonstration of dedication and loyalty. Joe is standing still for now, waiting for the next change.
He’s surprised by how much he likes this now; for so long, Patty was the solid rock that he and Burnzie came back to. Joe thinks he might understand Patty better when he sees Mario grin at him and his heart leaps at the thought of counting down the hours until Mario touches down. Hell, maybe he’ll rope Patty into driving out to the airport with him so they can pick Mario up.
“I miss you,” Mario says finally, quietly looking at Joe with those sweet eyes.
Joe laughs, not meanly. “Good. Patty’s sunk to taking pictures of random dogs he’s met in the neighborhood, if you notice. He’s filling up the group chat to lure you back. He told some lady who wanted to name one of her dog’s puppies after him that she should also name one for you. In fairness,” Joe teases, “he also suggested Tommy, but he definitely said your name first.”
Mario laughs. “Oh good. You think we can tell Mike that if he doesn’t find a way for you and Patty to travel with the team, he’ll have to invent something to keep Pat busy? You don’t even know how often Patty’s texted this week, even between the two of us. I thought maybe he’d be a little more used to it at this point, but he’s been so worried, he’s worrying me. You have to keep him busy until I get home.”
Joe winks. “I can keep him busy.” Joe doesn’t jump when Patty’s hand lands on his shoulder because he could see Mario’s eyes drift up and his smile broaden.
“You’re going to keep me busy?” Patty asks, leaning in to peer at Mario. Mario has cleverly tilted the camera up so his ice pack is no longer in frame.
“I’m unemployed,” Joe informs him, glancing up to see the corner of Patty’s grin. “Fun-employed as the kids say.”
Mario and Patty snort in unison and Joe can feel Patty’s warmth as he leans on Joe’s shoulder more heavily.
“I’m pretty sure,” Joe continues, “that this is the whole point of being retired actually. Wearing as little as I can get away with and hoping Patty is overcome with lust when I walk into the room.” It’s probably a little unfair with how hard Patty laughs at that, but Mario looks like the sun just rose on him so Joe can’t be too mad.
“Oh good,” Mario says, eyes crinkling. “Something to look forward to.”
“Getting old or getting home to Jumbo’s latest nudist exhibition?” Patty asks dryly. His free hand is rubbing soft circles into Joe’s bare back though, so he can’t object too much,
“Jumbo, obviously.” Mario shifts. “In fact, quit sending me pictures of Yorkies and send me pictures of Jumbo instead. Give me something to look forward to after I get my ass murdered in practice tomorrow.”
“That bad?”
“I genuinely cannot repeat what Coach said,” Mario says darkly. “Not just like bad words, but like unbelievably complicated curses on like all of our ancestors. Coach is going to see if a man can die from line drills I think. Imagining Jumbo shirtless will at least let me die happy.”
Patty rolls his eyes. “Well, if I must.”
“You must.” Mario says it firmly, but his smile is barely suppressed.
“Joe will be happy to help,” Patty says. He pauses and then adds, “I know you have to go sleep, but don’t leave the ice on too long.”
Mario gapes at him. “How did you know?”
“How often do you think I’ve iced my bruises?” Patty shakes his head. “Besides, Burnzie said you’d caught an elbow to the side.”
“Tattletale,” Mario sighs. “It wasn’t even that hard, Pat, honest. Nico just tripped.”
“Don’t be stubborn,” Patty advises. “Get some rest, yeah? And call Joe when you’re done with practice.”
Patty has a meeting tomorrow morning but Joe does not. His plan for tomorrow included puttering around in the yard and getting drinks with a couple of the guys who are still in town in the evening. He’ll happily pencil Mario in too.
Mario sighs. “Yeah. Can’t wait to be done with this roadie and come home. For Christmas, someone needs to get me a Burnzie-sized body pillow.”
“We’ll keep that in mind. Night, Mar.” Patty waves and Joe blows Mario a kiss before the screen goes dark.
In the sudden reflection, Joe sees Patty’s smile, their warm house, the spaces they’ve built for the people they love. He blinks at his reflection and then puts his phone down; he has to keep Patty busy until Mario gets home and that’s a Jumbo-sized task.
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Y’all, I finally finished this fic that I started in 2019I If you enjoy time shenanigans, dream magic, or the concept of a were-weasel, this is the fic for you.
