I just think life hates me no matter how much good I do, my best friend is too busy with his girlfriend to hang out with his brother who he knew for longer, granted I am so glad for him he deserves someone who makes him happy but fuck, and my other best friend (who once said I didn’t want to date anyone) has a boyfriend now and she is ignoring me and I thought I got over being in love with her and content with being a good friend but I guess not. I haven’t seen my nephews in so long because of this damned covid bullshit and haven’t even met my niece yet because she was just born in March, I have very little in common with my sisters and parents and with the whole “me moving out when my sister was pregnant and working 2 jobs but the parents controlled my financials and hobbies and had to give up all my time to babysitting one of my nephews for free” my sisters haven’t talked to me when the only thing I wasn’t gonna give up was helping another coworker with his blister on his amputated foot before he lost more of it, I’m just exhausted, I’m so hurt, I think I’m just done with life. Tired of being patient when life won’t do so for me, giving and giving to some unforeseen force and getting screwed over, no matter how hard I try to be mature and to become a better person, I hate being alive.