Jul 23, 2024
Knowing you're native Mexican and wanting to reconnect with your native roots to preserve your cultural identity vs being a no sabo 2nd gen American kid FIGHT
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Knowing you're native Mexican and wanting to reconnect with your native roots to preserve your cultural identity vs being a no sabo 2nd gen American kid FIGHT
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Okay everyone, help a mestize out here? My partner is half italian/half black and is having trouble finding her way around her hair. Her mother was white as hell so was unable to pass on any sort of helpful tips and my internet skills are only getting me so far.
She has dry scalp and crinkle curls that she says she can never get to do what she needs to do. She's starting to learn to love herself after making tremendous strides with her self confidence, but hates that she only ever wears her hair in buns.
Any help and advice for how I can help her learn to manage her hair without constantly relaxing it would be helpful.
TL;DR I'm the wrong kinda mixed kid to help my mixed partner. I need help to help her love her hair!!!
ive been getting into geneology recently and on my white side of my family, records go back to the literal ancient times, but on the mestize/mexican side, i have nothing. i feel so weird looking back on all my white, colonizer relatives and knowing that i have more culturally in common with the side thats virtually unrecorded than the side that has records going back hundreds of years, some even having wikipedia pages about how they helped colonize america.
my grandmother, the only mexican relative im in contact with anymore, barely talks about the specifics of her family and im pretty sure she doesnt even know her dad, but shes also very mexican and extremely proud of it, including teaching me mexican recipies wanting to take me to see our family in mexico after covid. i dont really ever talk to the white side of my family and the only real Connection i have to them is being wp and american, but theres still that lingering feeling i have that since i dont know all about my family history and where exactly my mexican family is from, i dont have any claim to it at all.
at what point does being culturally (and racially) extremely mixed become enough to stop having to call myself white? ive had quite a few mestize people tell me that im basically white and every time i feel myself becoming comfortable in being mestize, i feel like im overstepping my bounds.
I’ll put this as simply as I can, a white person would not be asking this. a white person would not be connected to being mestize by love, blood and soul. a white person would not have the intergenerational trauma, the missing history, or the pride you were born into. if you’re looking for validation from white folks, you won’t get it. there will never be a moment when white people will give you the okay to say you’re mestize. as for mestize telling you who you are? only you carry your experiences and history and know who you are. why would you trust strangers with no knowledge to judge who you are? How would they know? There is no one way to be anything, including mestize. keep doing your researching and reconnecting, that is more than enough to say you’re mestize. if people don’t like it, that’s their judgement, and you have no obligation to consider it.
I've been thinking about how in this world dominated by Aristotelian ways it's seen as inferior to be emotional. You have to be rational and objective, as removed from the inner workings of your spirit as possible. They ask the oppressed people to see things rationally and not take so much offense. "Why– it's just a joke!" they say, as if rationally knowing that changes the visceral reactions we have to oppression.
In a world like this, there's nothing more revolutionary than being unapologetically emotional, recognizing the things that affect your state of being in a subjective level, practising a healthy communion between mind and emotions. It's our weapon, our tool of survival against bigotry. Feel loudly. Be angry.
🌚
you’re a genuinely fucked up person and like. i hope you’re gonna change for the better but somehow i doubt it
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after talking w my mom about finding out more about my heritage it feels like shes being vague on purpose. can being just being afro descendant b whitepassing? bcs she led me to believe i was part mestize due to vagueness so im confused
white passing is not a term that is exclusive to a particular race or ethnicity. you're white passing if you are directly descended from visible poc in ur recent ancestry. whether you're afro or mestize on ur mum's side, you're still white passing if u pass for white. also, if ur mum is being vague, it's because she may not know her heritage, or perhaps she was prosecuted in some way for it and hopes to protect you. It might be worth asking other family members who may know too. x
im. heavily white passing. like as a kid i had like WHITE blond hair and even tho i looked Really White and was never "mistaken" for mestize, i had a Lot of problems with internalized racism as a kid? i feel like part of it comes from my mother's refusal to really let me in on anything about her culture or even let my grandmother teach me spanish, but also a lot of it seems to come from just. the idea that im somehow not allowed to have Any part of that bc i look too white? so much so that its come through in, like, wanting paler skin and getting Genuinely Distressed when i got a tan bc i felt like i was starting to look "too latino" for smn who was white and its been going on for My Entire Life but i dont really know how to reconcile with that at all.
im sorry i just Dumped It Out like that. thank you even if you dont answer or read it all the way through :-)
thank you for sharing this. internalised racism is something all PoC experience and struggle with regardless of how they look. it's important we talk about it more and address it so we can unlearn it. unlearning takes time and effort. it takes practising recognising when you have these thoughts that looking Latino is Bad, or that you look too white, etc, and acknowledging that these thoughts are taught by the white supremacist society we live in. also, if these thoughts are genuinely distressing you preventing you from living your life comfortably then I really do recommend talking to a mental health professional. racism, including internalised racism, isn’t something you can work through alone and that’s okay. here is a directory you can find therapists of colour online: https://www.huffingtonpost.com.au/entry/best-places-online-people-of-color-therapy_l_5d3ad936e4b0c31569e9a74d. you’re also always welcome to vent here, and know you’re not alone in feeling the way you do. x
Yo my mestise queers, I love you all 💙