#messinastarter

BEAU HAS A CRUSH BEAU HAS A CRUSH BEAU HAS A CRUSH

Whenever some baby boomer starts wankering on about the ‘evils of technology’, I’m just going to assume it’s because they accidentally sent a nude pic to the iCloud. Because fuck the iCloud! Am I right, baby boomers?

Who wants to hang out with a cute florist and get some free pizza? Bennett and I were meant to be having movie night but then someone had to answer a booty call and left the apartment, so now I’m on my lonesome with too many pepperoni deep dishes.

My oldest sister’s boyfriend proposed to her but he didn’t go down on one knee so her answer to him was ‘TBD’. Allison can be super harsh at times but I don’t really like her boyfriend so this is kinda funny.

Sutton and Kara drank their cereal this morning like Belle and the Beast. Here I was thinking I was raising one child, not two.

Westley helped with a fire today and ended up with a blacker coat than Buttercup. But it was all in the name of hauling a kitten out. That’s m’boy. My normally skittish Homeward Bound boy.

I can’t stop singing Defying freakin’ Gravity and my girlfriend is about to like, kill me. I totally need a blonde photographer from Maine to take the blame, so can she step the eff up?

‘Welcome To The Family’ by Little Big Town may seem mighty unrealistic, but it sure as hell describes how my first ever ‘meet the folks’ shtick went down.