#messiahloved

                                      “ ‘buuuukiiiii ... ” kai mumbled and buried himself into ibuki’s shoulder more. the alcohol combined with ibuki’s genuine words made him melt. ibuki and kai were two people who had their happiness and gentleness forcefully stripped away. while they were gradually becoming comfortable with physical and emotional intimacy together, kai still had moments where he wasn’t sure how to act. he’d just get overwhelmed by the simplest things. this was one of those times, even if he was the one that initiated it.

                                               he whined the more ibuki spoke. it was definitely the alcohol making him so sentimental and vocal with his feelings. he felt like a child again. he could remember when he was an excitable child who was always goading ibuki into cardfighting him. he remembered when he used to do things other than cardfighting; when he’d play music for ibuki and miwa and they’d sing along. ibuki didn’t think kai heard his voice, but kai did. kai thought it was beautiful, even back then. kai thought ibuki was beautiful. he was so heartbroken to leave his first friends behind. he was heartbroken to leave behind his first crush.

ibuki had decided to stay the night at mamoru's house. he acted nonchalant when mamoru had offered for him to. he was careful to not let him know he did this on purpose. he wanted to celebrate mamoru's birthday with him. after putting ryuzu to bed, the two of them ended up doing fiva work. though the whole time, ibuki was thinking of mamoru. when midnight hit, he put down his work and leaned over to kiss mamoru. "happy birthday, anjou. i love you." ibuki held out a box with with a ring inside. it was a simple sterling silver ring with the infinity symbol on it and the words "i will always love you" engraved on the inside. "i hope we can keep spending birthdays like this, together." 

                                   mamoru invited ibuki to stay at his place, as he had been doing more and more lately. he loved spending time with his boyfriend and made as many excuses as he could. ryuzu liked spending time with ibuki, too. it was such a relief. after mamoru read to ryuzu and tucked him in, he and ibuki finally got to getting some work done. mamoru had to force himself to not get distracted with his thoughts about kissing ibuki. when he was finally making some progress, ibuki suddenly kissed him instead.

                                  ibuki must have been exhausted. kai wished he could carry him to his bed, but that would involve waking ibuki up more. he didn’t want ibuki to wake up all the way because he knew ibuki would try not to go back to sleep. they were similar in that way. he gave a small smile. “ i’m sure you haven’t been sleeping, so it’s fine. ”

                                    ibuki had invited kai over, but not long into their initial conversation, ibuki had drifted off. he knew it was a common trait of his friends to overwork themselves, and ibuki was no exception. ibuki had recently taken on a much larger role at the vanguard association, too. being a pro fighter was tough, especially when it came to fighting internationally, but kai didn’t think it compared to all the work that ibuki had to put in as the vanguard association chairman. 

"... is this alright?" ibuki stiffly holds ryuzu in his arms, fearing that if he moved, he would drop him. he didn't know the first thing about taking care of kids. if he had ever been around them, he didn't remember. ryuzu seemed to be doing alright, he was even smiling. he seemed to like to tug at ibuki's hair, something he was still getting used to. "i'm nowhere near as good at this as you are, anjou." he felt nervous, like ryuzu might start crying at any second. "i don't know how you do it."

                                   “ it’s perfect. just relax, ibuki-kun. ” mamoru can’t help laughing a bit watching the two before him. ibuki holds ryuzu fine, but he’s as still as a statue. meanwhile, ryuzu is relaxed in his arms, even pulling at his hair. ibuki has resigned himself to his fate, discomfort only expressed by his facial expression.

                                                   mamoru reaches out, gently prying ryuzu’s hands open and replacing ibuki’s hair with a toy. compared to how tokoha was, ryuzu is a well mannered baby. “ you’re flattering me. i have a lot of help, you included. ” mamoru smiles, moving his hand up to push ibuki’s hair off his shoulders. “ i’m trying my best and hoping it’s enough. i’ve had experience taking care of tokoha, but being a big brother is different ... ”

                                                   he can’t bring himself to say he’s ryuzu’s dad. in every sense of the word, he is. he takes care of him, he nurtures him, he’s devoted all of his heart to this child from the moment he held him in his arms. he considers ryuzu his son, but is he worthy of being called ryuzu’s father?