#mermies

The bad:

Cliiiiiingy. Always has to have his hands on you and follows you everywhere. Even wants to be in the bathroom with you when you’re using the toilet.  

Generally, not the jealous type, but absolutely needs your constant attention.

Texts and calls you a lot. (Almost too much) Like, goddamn. You know he has a lot of time on his hands cause he’s cooped down in the sewers until nighttime, but dude—chill.

The ugly:

Guilt trips you over having to return to your surface life and personal duties.

Straight up avoids and ignores if there’s problems with your relationship. He knows no relationship is perfect, but he doesn’t want to break the fantasy, So, if you’re upset and wanna talk things out, he’ll redirect the conversation a lot of the time. You’ll have to be pretty stern to get through to him.

Horny. All. The. TIME. He’d push boundaries to get you in the mood, even going as far to make unwanted advances. (Wouldn’t do anything against your will, or force himself upon you though.)

The sexy:

Can and will laugh during sex. And good, because it’s definitely interesting between a giant mutant turtle and normal human being. There’s a lot for both of you to learn, but he’s surprisingly patient and things are never awkward with him.

He is willing to do the horizontal tango any time you want it. You could literally spend thirty minutes shitting your guts out due to having indulged on your favorite, but forbidden dairy product, and he’d still be down to clown afterwards.

Looooves oral. (Both giving and receiving) He can’t get enough of the taste of you, and would work diligently to give you multiple orgasms through going down on you.

He’s confident in his abilities and open to anything. You want him to put on a sexy dance for you? You got it! Wanna try a new move? Say no more! Have a kink you’ve been reluctant to tell him about? Baby, you’ve got nothing to be ashamed of! 

Great with aftercare. Ya’ll would either fall asleep in each other’s arms, cuddle up watching your favorite streaming shows, or play some hand-held video games together afterwards.

DONATELLO

The good:

Thoroughly interested and supportive of your passions and hobbies. Loves listening to you speak on them and would try his best to get involved in some way.

Since he’s the tech guy, a good majority of your dates would consist of pirating your favorite shows, and movies. He’d take you out in the turtle van to some desolate underpass, and project the picture on a wide slab of concrete. Afterwards, he’d put the media on your favorite format so you could have it always; downloads, dvds, even the nearly nonfunctional vhs’s!

Also, since he’s the tech guy he would surprise you with deliveries to your work place from time to time. Flowers, edible arrangements, your favorite drinks, thoughtful cards (with some spending money~ bounces eyebrows. He’d love the idea of being your sugar daddy when he’s able to. 😩 )

 Because he’s such a tall boy, forehead kisses are his thing. He peppers your cute little dome with small little pecks any chance he gets.

When he’s low on energy he drags you into power naps with him, which inevitably turns into a slumber because he’s so comfortable in your presence, and you find content in his warmth.

An added extra: Since Donatello is the tattoo artist of the group, free ink if you’re into that kind of thing! 👀

The bad:

This guy works off a schedule, and sometimes he just doesn’t have the time to fit you into it. With training, patrol, lair upkeep, creating new tech, and being the only one to have an actual job (because how else are they paying for food?), he’s unfortunately a very busy turtle.

Is the silent type when upset, and worst of all, he gets more upset if you don’t realize that something’s bothering him.

Double standards. He would insist that you properly take care of yourself. Drink lots of water, cut back on caffeine, shower and moisturize, eat three meals a day and snack in between, get eight hours of sleep, take a day off of work, etc… But Donnie doesn’t hold himself to the same expectations and good luck trying to get him to change. (Sometimes he shares his red-cladded brothers’ stubbornness.)

The ugly:

Internet stalks you, your family and your exes... He mostly does it as a means to gather useful information, and he’s clever enough to only use it in the appropriate situations, but it’ll take you aback when he mentions the name of an ex when you two fight. (He’ll never do it again after the first time however.)

Gets almost unreasonably upset when you have to cancel plans with him. To reference back to how busy he is, and double standards; he just expects you to be able to make time for him. After all, you’re not a defender of New York, nor are you confined to specific hours of the day like he is. How busy can you be?

Since you have a life on the surface, he sometimes gets into his head and assumes the worst. He’s stuck in the lair until nightfall, and his stupid brain likes to torture him with made up scenarios. He’ll make jokes of it, but you know there’s a hint of truth and insecurity behind the question, “So, who’d ya cheat on me with today?” It’s never funny…

The sexy:

Dandere in the streets, Kuudere in the sheets. (Yes, I’m a weeb. Look it up.) He’s not too big on the idea of PDA in front of his brothers, but as soon as it’s just the two of you, his hands will be all over your body and he’ll be macking on those plush lips of yours.

While he enjoys getting off himself, he’s all about pleasing you. A lot of the time, you cumming is more than suffice for him.

Because he is the most internet savvy, he’s done his research on your anatomy. So, unlike the other brothers, your first time together would be quite pleasurable. (Which is a feat considering Donatello has the biggest dick (fight me), so there would be a lot of work put into getting you prepared for it, but he enjoys the foreplay.)

Blindfolds. He can’t see during sex (if he removes his glasses of course) so why should you? It’s a fun little venture from time to time exploring each other’s bodies with your other senses.

He will fucking lap up the ground you walk on if you moan or scream his name during. For the love of god, just do it. It’ll make him absolutely wild.

RAPHAEL

The good:

You wouldn’t expect it of him before you started dating, but once you enter a relationship, he is the best listener. You’ll accidentally spend long amounts of time vent dumping on him, because he’s actually very attentive and empathetic of your feelings.

Since Raph leaves the lair the most (due to needing “fresh air”) he knows New York the best. Which means he takes you to all the cool and secret attractions of the city for date nights.  

He includes you in his workouts, if you know what I’m saying? 😏😏😏 I mean, he asks for your assistance… Uses you as added weights, has you help him with certain stretches, asks you to time him on specific drills. He just wants you to be part of one of his favorite activities. (WHICH INCLUDES SEX! Duh. 😋)

You already knew this was coming but… He knits you clothes! Mainly stuff to keep you warm in the winter. So, sweaters, scarves, gloves, and socks. Buuut-- He also dabbles in jewelry in secret. None of his brothers know about it, but Donnie is always curious as to why he borrows/steals his pliers, wire cutters and soldering tools every once in a while. You get custom made bracelets, earrings, and necklaces out of this. (He wouldn’t make you rings until far long into your relationship. He’s a shy boy and doesn’t want to scare you off with the implications. Plus, they’re hard to make, lol.)

Playful teasing and showboating of you. Only to levels you’re comfortable with, but he’s proud to be your significant other, and you’re so attractive to him, he’s gotta show you off to his brothers a little bit. He’ll pinch/grab/smack your ass (gently, lol), caress your face, arms, thighs, and nuzzle his snout into the crook of your neck in front of them, just to get all of you flustered and worked up.

The bad:

Has the millennial phone fear. He doesn’t like talking on the phone much because he dislikes the way his voice sounds to him when you put him on speaker, and he isn’t good at texting you back in a timely matter either… He argues that your conversations are more meaningful in person.

Prone to fighting, duh. Verbal fights of course. Raphael would never lay a hand on you, but if upset enough, he would break things around you. Punch a wall, throw a chair, shatter a glass. He’s also quick to raise his voice and yell, so if that kind of thing makes you uncomfortable, expect tears. (Although, as soon as you start crying, he crumbles.)

Would avoid missionary position, or any position that gave you an angle on his face at first. He’s insecure about his physique and features, and wouldn’t want to scare you or turn your off with his looks. (Though, as soon as you cupped your hands against his cheeks and stared down his emerald eyes, lorrrddd!! It’d ignite a passionate fury in him!)

The ugly:

We all expect jealousy of Raphael, but it’s in the worst ways. He’ll get jealous of his brothers interacting with you and vice versa. He won’t act on his feelings, but he doesn’t like the others touching you or being too interested in conversation with you. He’s also jealous of you specifically. He hates it, but you’re beautiful and normal. You get so many opportunities being human that he couldn’t even possibly dream of. He’d try to keep those insecurities to himself, but they of course bubble up when you fight.

(Like his purple-coded brother) He stalks you. He tells himself he’s being a good boyfriend and he’s just watching over you; making sure nobody messes with ya, but in reality he wants to know what you’re up too at all times. If your residence has the view for it, he’ll become a peeping tom and watch you undress.

Raph always grows distant when your time together is coming to an end. He just checks out hours before you actually have to go. He must think it’s a way to protect himself mentally, but it’s just unfair to you and almost impossible to pull him back into the moment.

The sexy:

Raph just emits sexual tension into everything. The way he lifts weights, how his brows furrow when he looks at you, the way his tongue dances around the toothpick in his mouth, how he folds laundry… Like, how? WHY?? I mean you’re not going to look a gift horse in the mouth, but boy it’s almost troublesome how he can make you so hot and bothered so easily.

 A double standard, but he wouldn’t let you be insecure about anything during sexy time, especially not your body. - You: I don’t want to do x,y,or z because I’m too heavy/too boney/have too much hair/don’t like my stretch marks/my bits are different from others/etc… - Raph: … If you don’t get your ass over here and sit on my face right now.

His tongue… is so long… 😳💦 Do I really need to say anything more??

Have you been interested in standing sex positions, but could never try them out because your past partners weren’t strong enough for them? Well, these are Raphy-boys specialty! Holding you up and pumping away in ya is a breeze for him, and good thing too! Because your legs are gonna be wet noodles afterwards~

He is actually okay with you egging him on during sex. As in: Saying things to purposely piss him off to make him fuck you raw. You would need to talk about what’s okay to say beforehand, and make non-verbal cues for safe words; but once that’s said and done, he’s game. It gets him riled up in the best ways possible.

LEONARDO

The good:

Leonardo will just pop in on you randomly during the DAY, just to say hi, and see how you’re doing, maybe even give you a few kisses. He’s so confident in his stealth abilities, and honestly… it’s justified. Still, it nearly gives you a heart attack every time and a playful fight breaks out as you urge him to leave so he won’t be seen by other surface dwellers.

If you need a task done, Leonardo is your #1 motivator. He won't do it for you, pfft! No. But he will absolutely help you stay on track. So, if there’s something you need a push to do, like finish a college essay you’ve been procrastinating on, doing an exercise routine after a long day of work, or making a stress inducing dentist appointment on your own; he’s your guy!

Massages. The guy actually knows what he’s doing and isn’t just pinching and pulling your skin. Knows what muscles to work on to relieve you of that headache, and what pressure points to hit to release the stress and tension you’ve been holding.

It’s a little silly, but he ‘bridal carries’ you a lot. He loves holding you in his arms, so when there’s an opportunity for it, he scoops you right up! It’s definitely unnecessary sometimes; like when he carries you from the living room area to his bedroom, but are you really gonna say no to those biceps, triceps and delts? 😩💦

All the turtles would teach you self-defense and CQC at some point in your relationship with them, but Leonardo would be adamant on it from the beginning. He would want you to be able to protect yourself when he’s not around. If you’re able to successfully to take him down, (which is gonna be hard because…he big 😳) he would instantly pop a hard one.

The bad:

Not so creative with date nights. He just likes spending time with you and figures you feel the same way. You’ll have to be the one to come up with fun ideas to do, or at least drop him hints on how to spice things up.

Needs you to be independent. He’s the leader, he’s got a whole city to defend and four brothers to take care of. So, you aren’t going to have his attention 100% of the time. Not to mention, he’s the kind of guy who likes his space. He’s got his things that he likes to do on his own, so you need some of your own.

Ironically, he also kind of… parents you. Especially when you don’t want it or ask. He thinks he knows best and will try to steer you in a certain direction. “You shouldn’t wear that article of clothing, it’s too revealing.” “If you want a raise, ask for it.” “Don’t stay up all night doing ____, it’s bad for your health.” “ _____ person is right, you were being ____” (Oooh, the last one. You definitely have to teach him the difference between wanting him to just listen and wanting him to respond.)

The ugly:

He doesn’t have the time for your interest. Don’t get it wrong, he likes to hear about them and supports you pursuing them it’s just… if they aren’t his specifically, or they don’t mix in some way, he just can’t be bothered to be involved.

When you get into major disagreements his tongue can be quite sharp. He’s only used to Raphael questioning his authority and opinions, so his temper is surprisingly short and his remarks are critical. If he’s losing the battle, he’ll sometimes resort to just straight up ignoring you by going silent or leaving the room.

Jealous of toys and the idea of you getting off by yourself. While he absolutely has no problem making you cum, he wants to be the only one to make you moan and scream. So, best to leave the solo sessions at home.

The sexy:

(Technically, this could be a ‘bad’ point but…) Don’t wear any clothes you really like when planning on getting down and dirty with Leo because has a bad habit of ripping them off of you.

Leo’s really good with foreplay, and not just with stimulating you. He’s good at setting the mood, and building tension, all while keeping a cool head himself. It’s a bit infuriating how hard it is to rile him up the same way, but at least it makes for a fun game you both enjoy.  

(Being the weeb he is) Leo loves to practice Shibari on you. He loves seeing you restrained and completely submissive to him. He’s even gone out of his way to find/buy decorative rope to tie you up with, it’s gotta accentuate your beauty. If you’re lucky enough, he may let you try it out on him. (Although, you can only do a handful of knots and ties considering his shell gets in the way.)

He marks you with hickeys and bites. Most of the time, he is considerate enough to only leave them in spots where you can hide them, buuut--- Every once in a while he wants to remind his brothers, and surface dwellers that you are his.

Katoptronophilia babyyyy! You already know Leonardo is the type of guy who’d be into watching his performance in the mirror. (Not to mention taking in how good you look in the reflective glass. 😏)