#merhhhh

Wot a terrible day.

I’m happy about the art courses I’m taking this semester, even if they are going over the basic mechanics of drawing and oil painting. They are insightful. I’m fond of my art appreciation class too. However, I find myself stressed while working in the studio and I look over at other's work because I'm so nervous that I'm doing things wrong. Instructions are vague. Apparently I don't hold my pencil correctly. I feel as if indulging in my own style over the past years was perhaps a foolish move. Is it even "real" art? Or am I being paranoid that I don't fit the traditional standards? I lack discipline. As I learn more, my free flow projections in my personal sketchbooks could possibly be outsider art. I am compelled to scribble by my anxiety wherever I may go. I feel so confused and I'm starting to doubt whether I'm a good artist. I initially branched away from realism in highschool cause I couldn't stand producing replica works as my peers did.. I wanted to be different but maybe in doing so, I became less skilled.

When you write some🔥🔥🔥 but have to wait a while before you post it anywhere, cause it's far too raw atm lol

tfw when you know ur depression is back :////

I feel worse than i did yesterday

Today is my first day at my new job and I'm so nervous I could throw up.

Sad tipsy.

I do think Josh & Chloe are such a cute couple nd everything but my god they look so bloody similar it scares me😭