#mercyfought

robby  thought  he  had  a  few  more  hours  until  school  got  out.  he  thought  he  had  more  time  to  clear  his  head  and  figure  this  out.  fuck.  his  head  was  a  mess,  and  he  was  nursing  his  own  hangover,  though  it  couldn’t  have  been  as  bad  as  hawk’s.  hawk  was  already  drunk  when  he  texted  him.  robby  didn’t  start  drinking  until  after,  and  he had  learned  how  to  deal  with  his  own  hangovers  a  long  time  ago.  he  hated  this.  he  didn’t  want  to  do  this.  but  he  needed  to  rip  the  band - aid  off  and  just  do  the  damn  thing,  even  if  it  hurt.  even  if  it  meant  losing  the  best  thing  that  ever  happened  to  him.

the  moskowitz’  cars  were  gone,  so  hawk’s  parents  were  at  work.  good.  at  least  he  wouldn’t  have  an  awkward  run - in  with  his  dad,  or  have  to  fake  niceties  with  his  mom.  no,  he  wouldn’t  have  to  fake  it.  he  liked  her.  she  was  warm  and  loving  and  everything  a  mother  was  supposed  to  be.  hawk  was  lucky  to  have  her.  he  was  so  damn  lucky  to  have  two  loving  parents.

          TWO WHOLE WEEKS. That’s how long it’s been since the night she left Hawk in Vegas. She’s been hiding since then, too afraid and  ashamed  to even go back to her own house. Afraid that she’ll run into him. What she did was wrong, and she’ll be the first to admit that. He was there for her. He took her to Vegas to help her get away from the hurricane that was engulfing her life. He ran from furious bouncers with her, stayed at her side during a bar fight despite still recovering from his encounter with the Cobras. He wouldn’t leave her. But  she abandoned him  there anyway. What excuse could she possibly give that would suffice?  She was overwhelmed. She lost control again. She didn’t mean to hurt him.  Could any of it ever be enough?

          He’s her brother, not because of blood, but because he simply  is .  They didn’t inherit each other as siblings because of their parents; their relationship doesn’t exist because of pure chance like that. It happened because they’re two fucked up kids who can understand each other more than they’d like to pretend they can. Even if they fight all the time, Hawk is always there. They’re Brother Bird and Sister Snake. Tortilla and Corn. All because they chose to be, in spite of everything. They chose each other.  But now she’s ruined it, hasn’t she?  And he damn sure  deserves better  than an  ❛ I’m sorry ❜ written hastily on a memo pad in the middle of the night or sent through a text.

1.   he   is   so   small,   she   thinks.   vivian   is   tired   and   robin   is   trusted   with   her   aunt   duties   even   if   she   isn’t   sure   what   that   entails.   all   she   knows   is   that   her   sister   is   sleeping   soundly   and   something   is   bothering   eli   that   he   is   babbling   and   threatening   to   cry.   “shhhh   little   guy,   don’t   worry,   i   got   you.”   and   she   makes   small   promises   and   rock   him   in   her   arm   rather   awkwardly   but   she   counts   victory   when   she   finds   his   pacifier   and   he   sucks   on   it   and   rest   his   head   on   her   shoulder.   robin   isn’t   motherly.   but   in   that   moment,   she   feels   like   the   best   mother   ever.   even   if   she   is   just   an   aunt,   her   hand   craddling   the   back   of   his   head.  

2.   kids   are   ruthless.   she   knows   very   well.   her   time   in   school   had   been   endured   thanks   to   being   friends   with   ali   and   even   that   was   on   thin   ice.   he   comes   home   crying   and   it   takes   all   of   her   strength   to   not   stand   up   and   decides   to   storm   off   into   a   school   and   punch   a   kid   in   the   face.   instead,   she   does   what   an   aunt   does;   offer   her   arms   as   pillows   and   putting   on   his   favorite   show   and   offer   pizza   and   anything   that   would   put   him   in   a   better   mood,   even   if   she   knows   that   might   not   be   enough.      but   for   the   moment,   as   she   sees   him   relax   and   eyes   fixed   on   the   tv,   she   thinks   it’s   enough.  

3.   johnny   lawrence   is   an   asshole.   that   much   she   knows,   when   he   comes   home   upset   after   visiting   the   cobra   kai   dojo.   but   somehow   he   doesn’t   seem   too   bothered   by   it   all.   she   still   reaches   out,   tell   him   a   thing   or   two   about   how   johnny   had   been   a   tiny   slanky   kid   before   he   got   bulk,   ruffled   his   hair   and   hoped   the   gentle   comfort   was   enough.   the   next   day,   he   has   a   mohawk   and   a   brand   new   attitude   and   she   thinks   he   is   like   a   sponge,   taking   in   words   like   oxigen.

4.   moon   is   a   sweet   girl.   but   he   comes   home   with      broken   heart   and   those   she   knows   well.   first   heartbreaks   are   the   worst,   because   you   are   young   and   you   think   nothing   will   ever   be   okay   after   it.   he   has   a   tattoo   of   her   name   and   she   aches.   the   higher   the   mountain   the   harder   the   fall.   he   doesn’t   do   much   hugging   those   days,   but   that   day,   he   lets   out   those   karate   walls   and   just   let   her   hug   him   again   and   robin   sighs   in   relief   that   maybe   the   eli   she   knew   wasn’t   all   gone   and   simply   shifted   into   a   new   being.  

the girl who left isn’t the same one who’s returned. years have passed and not all of them have been kind. but that, too, is a story for another time. those who don’t know her will not see the difference, but those who know her, they will know that something has transpired within half a heartbeat. that she is different now. 

they will feel it.

the barrier is down. the isle of the lost is lost no longer and for that udyati is grateful. it’s healthy. it’s thriving. as much as it can, anyways.

no, she is not an isle born, nor do the rules apply to her as she is not a child of the mainland, either. but she has been shere khan’s ward. she has been a story-teller of great renown and she has met people here, she has loved people here. some of her roots, no matter how strange or muddied, are here.

and so is her heart. it’s just a matter of finding it.

“---oof!”