i should be happy, but im not, i finally got what i wanted so bad and now its just like, oh, i got it. but now what? wasnt really worth it..hahah.
what is happy for you? is it a state? is it when you can't complain over anything? when there's nothing to worry about? or is it when you have something to smile over? idk what happiness is for me, maybe my standards are too high, maybe I expect too much of myself, or maybe I'm just dumb as a bread and think too highly of me because I never am satisfied with myself and what I do. Do you think you'll be happy when you necessarily do everything you want? Talking in context; all I know is that you deleted your tumblr because you had had enough of some people. You already did this once, you came back, but you ended up doing the same thing. Maybe that's a sign that you shouldn't hold onto tumblr really? did it bring more good than bad? was it a good influence or a waste of time?
You once said you regretted making tumblr in the first place. Even though it had some bad things to it, do you still regret being able to experience the good things, the good people? wasn't it worth it?
ofc you're going to miss tumblr and your friends there, but that's the thing with all things that pass by. The feeling will fade away, but the memories will stay. Isn't that something? I really do believe there's potential in you to do quite a few things, but it's about will, believing in yourself and so on. You're not defined as a drop-out. That isn't you, never forget that.
What do you want to do in life? Don't you know? because so many don't.
