終わり

what is happy for you? is it a state? is it when you can't complain over anything? when there's nothing to worry about? or is it when you have something to smile over? idk what happiness is for me, maybe my standards are too high, maybe I expect too much of myself, or maybe I'm just dumb as a bread and think too highly of me because I never am satisfied with myself and what I do. Do you think you'll be happy when you necessarily do everything you want? Talking in context; all I know is that you deleted your tumblr because you had had enough of some people. You already did this once, you came back, but you ended up doing the same thing. Maybe that's a sign that you shouldn't hold onto tumblr really? did it bring more good than bad? was it a good influence or a waste of time? 

You once said you regretted making tumblr in the first place. Even though it had some bad things to it, do you still regret being able to experience the good things, the good people? wasn't it worth it? 

ofc you're going to miss tumblr and your friends there, but that's the thing with all things that pass by. The feeling will fade away, but the memories will stay. Isn't that something? I really do believe there's potential in you to do quite a few things, but it's about will, believing in yourself and so on. You're not defined as a drop-out. That isn't you, never forget that. 

Oh. When did this come into my inbox. I barely check this tumblr-page, I am so so sorry. But for you to send me a message after so many years (!) of inactivity. That is very kind of you. 

My life is quite different from what it was when I stopped blogging. I am two years away from finishing my degree in clinical psychology. Then I can finally call myself a psychologist. 

I am much more happier than what I was as a teenager and as a senior high schooler. I am much more content with life. So much has changed, so many things are different. Also - I discovered my greatest passion in life - baking. Oh, baking. I am happy to say that I have a baking account with 800 (real) followers, haha.

If I were to write down one thing that definitely changed me, it is my exchange to Australia. I know - it’s so cliche, everyone says that. But seriously - it did so much for me. I surpassed so many challenges and obstacles and I’ve grown as  a person, a partner, a sister and a daughter. My eyes are looking different at life than before the exchange. Those of you (if you are still here, haha) know that deciding to leave everything and everyone I know for half a year was something the younger ‘Tussi’ would  n e v e r  e v e r  even think about it. But this Tussi DID it. I didn’t just think about it, I f***ing did it. And I am so proud of myself. 

How about you, anon? How are you? Who are you? Again, I don’t know when this popped into my inbox, but I hope my reply will find you.