#mental world

(I would like to thank Deviantart artist tanasweet123 for the fanart and helping expand on my OC's backstory.)

This is an expansion of what the mental world of my Psychonauts OC Ember Flame would be like if she was in a Psychonauts game.

Inside ember’s mental world, there is a huge orphanage that’s still burning. A replication of the orphanage she lived in as a child.

The inside of the building would be a maze puzzle where the player or players would have to go through the right doors and hallways. If you choose the wrong door or go down the wrong hallway, you’ll be going in a circle, in a secret room for collectibles or end up in an arena fighting a round of enemies. New enemy: Pyromania, a manic devil-looking creature carrying a flamethrower.

The goal is to reach the top floor to rescue ember’s inner child hiding in her room.

The boss battle and manifestation of ember’s trauma is a giant, living wax statue of Milla with a large flame on her head, making her a living candle. To defeat her you need to use cryokinesis and Hydrokinesis. Avoid wax puddles she throws at you as well as her fire breath.

Number of memory vaults: 3

First one shows young Ember/Emily playing with her old friends and bonding with Milla.

Second one shows the day Emily discovered her Pyrokinesis and accidentally set the orphanage on fire. She managed to escape but is traumatized at what she did. Guilt-ridden and scared, she runs away.

Third one shows Emily being adopted by the street gang, they treat her well but influence her into becoming one of them, and over the years she embraces her powers and becomes who she is in the present.

Once ember’s mind is healed, she and Milla have a heartwarming moment where they hug each other and cry tears of joy. The song that I think would be perfect for this moment is "I am not Ok" by Jelly Roll. because both women have experienced traumatic moments that have left deep scars, both mental and physical. But maybe now that they are together, they can help each other heal.

-I'm Not Okay But It's All Gonna Be Alright-

Once again thank you tanasweet123 on DeviantArt for helping me with all this, for the art and improving on my idea. And if anyone else wants to check out their work feel free to see the link below.

HI ok so erm this is mostly just gonna be a mess of rambles and vague ideas smushed together barely in order but

(old/outdated concept sketch, but it's a good start)

for starters, the prime issue(s) to help resolve in his mental world (or this version at least) is jim's fear of burdening his friends and family, and his resistance to reaching out for help, as much as he really needs it. it doesn't get too deep into his trauma, it's just giving jim the push he needs to seek out help again

"You're not Person A."

The being(?) paused for a moment to look over its shoulder at Person B, then resumed flipping through its book. "Not exactly, no, but you know me as Person A, sometimes."

"What?" Person B wrinkled their nose, which was... definitely a strange sensation when you didn't have a physical body. No movement of muscles, no pull on their face; they just were wrinkling their nose. They shuddered and began brushing dirt that didn't exist off their shirt and pants just for the reassurance that they did, in fact, have some form, even if they were currently stuck in Person A's mind. "That doesn't make any sense."

"Sure it does." Even though Person B couldn't see their face from this angle, they were pretty sure the being(??) was smirking. Person B had barely started to scoff when they shut the book with a sound somewhere between a slam that didn't fit it, like the book itself was merely playing an audio recording of a book slamming shut, and Person B resisted the urge to shudder again as the being(???) turned to reveal it was, in fact, smirking.

Bastard.

Psychonauts made me do something new. I never draw environments, but i just really wanted to give a character I came up with for that universe a cool mental world. I was going for a “frantic mix of google headquarters and a factory”.  Because my character is trying very hard to organize chaos inside his head, but mostly fails. 

oh man I haven’t thought about Augustus’s train level in forever! I don’t mind u using the idea, and I would appreciate credit so thank u for asking!! But I’m not sure I have a real “narrative” more just a general idea on how the level would go?? Then again this is LONG so maybe it is a narrative…

One note before we go, Raz gets a costume for this level! Similar to in Black Velvetopia or Feast of the Senses. But instead of just a color palette change, tho he does do that here going to more older “yellow red blue” aesthetic is the best way I can describe it-, he gets a whole costume! A mix of his circus garb and a little server outfit, like he’s train staff!!

It starts with Raz at the back of the train, in the luggage cart, where he would end up looking around for a door. This is where he finds all the emotional baggage, shoved away without their tags, ignored and pushed to the side, along with a metal cage that…doesn’t seem to house something friendly.

Once Raz leaves he ends up walking through the whole train to reach the front. There’s a dining cart, the usual sitting cart u see in mystery movies, but then it cuts to a whole ass circus inside one of the carts. It seems to span endlessly upwards, with beautiful set decoration and plenty of space for tricks. Unfortunately, the performers are currently out, which means the circus is closed. It’s almost a bit uncomfortable to walk around this bright, cheery place full of happy circus music only for there to be no actual people there. Just figments. (Similar to Helmut’s mind, there’s a center stage that pictures all the Aquato’s performing the same trick Raz’s mental vault showed off. Even with Raz levitating Mirtala’s tiara. No detail left out.)

Then we reach the fourth cart, last one before the conductor’s cart, and it’s quite the cute homey storage area. There’s train and circus supplies alike stuffed away, but there’s also pictures of the family. New ones and old ones that Augustus is able to remember now, older ones in cracked frames but still lovingly hung on the walls. Though, if Raz looks closer at the old pictures, every instance of Lucrecia or Marona have been scribbled out in either black marker or just torn out completely. Nona remains untouched in the newer pictures, but she’s a bit pushed aside now. Even in memories Raz knows they were close, Nona has been put aside for the rest of the family.

Then, Raz finally gets to the conductors cart, and it’s quite the sight to see! It’s an odd combination of an actual engine/control room on a train and a big top tent, with ropes and trapeze swings for Augustus, our conductor and ringmaster for the evening, to get around easier.

When Raz asks what his dad’s doing, Augustus happily shows him around the head of the train and tells him they’re fully on course to their next destination! The only trouble is…Augustus isn’t sure where that destination could be. He shows Raz a mental map and reveals he’s had three thoughts floating in his head.

Either -his family continues with the circus without Raz, leaving their baby to do his psychonauts training alone

-they make Raz come with them which would upset him greatly, but the family would at least stay whole

Or -give up on the circus and finally settle down. Ruining their livelihood, but staying with family.

Augustus and Raz look at the map, and when Raz offers to find some kind of middle ground Augustus shakes his head, saying there’s too much to find a middle ground. He has to choose one of these options when the fork in the road comes. Eventually, no matter how much prying or poking Raz does, Augustus shoves himself into his work, refueling the train, keeping an eye on the controls, ordering Censors who act like staff here to take care of passengers n all that jazz.

Raz eventually is given a job by a very busy Augustus to find the rest of the family and get them settled in the circus cart. They need to get back to performing eventually.

And that ends up being Raz’s sort of “main mission”, wandering around the train and playing hide and seek with his family, finding them all in different locations and learning how Augustus thinks they view him, be it as a father or a husband or even just family.

Dona thinks he’s a pushover, saying how she’s always the one who has to pick up his slack.

Dion’s upset that he trusted him for so long but now all that trust is gone because everything Augustus said about psychics n mentalists was basically a lie.

Frazie’s pissed that Augustus never taught her anything, even though he’s Psychic too!

Mirtala feels lonely because Augustus doesn’t spend time with her, too busy to play anymore.

And Queepie thinks Augustus is just old and boring, a father he’s stuck with until hes older.

Finding Nona however gives Raz three different mental constructs. One of Nona, the old shaky grandma hes know forever. One of Lucrecia, younger and clearly in her prime before the Deluge. And one of…Marona. She’s in very old coloring style, but she’s there. On a shaky memory but she’s there.

These three aren’t really going to perform, so they’re more like the constructs of the Psychic 7 in Cassie’s mind. Theyre there to show Raz how Augustus thinks of his mothers, the many he’s had apparently.

Marona views Augustus as her sweet little baby. She’s so upset she never got to see him grow up, but there’s an air about her attitude that acts like she didn’t try hard enough, and not that she was literally killed that day. (Augustus trying to twist his own memories so he won’t have to mourn his mother, if he makes her a bad person he won’t have to mourn her.)

Lucrecia is very flippant, waving a hand at Raz when he asks about Augustus and commenting that she hasn’t seen him in so long. He never comes out of the conductors cart, and they’re both too busy to really work together. (Showing Lucrecia wasn’t always there for Augustus before she lost her memories, she was busy with the Psychic 7 n such.)

Nona is an odd mix of the two. It’s clear she loves Augustus, she even shows Raz a cute little family photo of her husband, herself, and Augustus. Though the husband’s face keeps shifting, and Nona keeps going from Marona to Lucrecia to old Nona and back and forth. But Augustus stays the same lil guy.

She tells Raz that Augustus works far too hard, pushing and pushing himself to be the back bone of this family. Nona can’t do it, she’s too old. Dona can’t do it, she’s his wife. The kids can’t do it, they’re children! It’s only up to Augustus.

Basically, Raz learns from the three motherly figures that Augustus from day one has carried everyone else’s weight. After the Deluge, when he had his own family…he took the reigns before anyone else could and made himself the conductor. The ringmaster. The leader of this family, so no one else would have to worry about that kind of weight. And overtime, as Raz sees when he heads back to the conductors cart continuously to inform him he found another family member, it’s weighing too much on him too.

Anytime Raz offers to help, Augustus says he doesn’t need it. That he has a system. That the system works, but it only works with one person manning the machine. He’s the only one who’s known how to do it, and he’s the only one who can keep the train running, so he just needs to focus on keeping the train moving. As long as it keeps moving, he won’t need to stop and ask for help. He looks tired, too. Overtime his face has been covered in dusted soot and his hat is lopsided. His suit is all cloudy and he just looks exhausted…but he keeps pushing the train along.

This all eventually comes to a head when Raz tells Augustus he has the whole family together again, and Augustus informs him that Razputin isn’t there. When Raz tries to tell him he doesn’t need Raz to perform, Augustus insists that he does. That’s the system. He can’t just break the system. Without Raz there, then it’s not the Aquato family circus. It’s just…the Aquato circus. It’s not whole. It’s not complete. But Augustus doesn’t know how to get Raz back, so without Raz they can’t start the show, but with Raz Augustus can’t stop working the train to keep it moving forward.

He’s trapped himself in a loop of constantly overworking himself, to the point where he doesn’t even want to do the one thing he loves so much, that being acrobatics. Or rather, he just can’t stop being busy to try to perform with the family. He can’t find a new system, because the old system is so reliant on him that if Augustus stops he probably won’t be able to remember how to start it again. Like taking a break when you’re super busy, it’s always 10 times harder to get back to work after a break. Especially when the system is so complex like Augustus’ is.

It worked in the past, but it’s outdated now. Augustus can’t keep working on his own. He needs help. But he can’t just…accept his family’s help. He’s done too much damage, reinforcing these ideas of mentalists and the water curse that wasn’t even a curse.

Btw remember that fourth cart from earlier? Yeah, by now in the narrative, every time Raz passes back through that cart, it’s become more full of soot and rain water to the point where it’s like a storm passed through there, water covering the ground and all the pictures being broken.

This all comes to a head when Raz tries to forcibly stop his father from controlling the train just to prove he doesn’t need to be the one to carry all this weight, but the two pushing and pulling on the controls ends up with the train…crashing.

All of Augustus’ hard work, all the time and effort he spent making this work, all the painful nights of holding back his own tears and never saying a word of how he truly felt…has been for nothing. Or basically, this represents how when you’re trapped in a toxic mindset of serving other people, when you’re finally able to stop doing that it’s like the world is crashing down around you. You spent so long helping these people, and it’s just…never mattered? At all? Anyone else can do it? What about me? What about what I’ve sacrificed? All of it was for you, and you’re telling me it’s meant nothing?

This is when that cage from before, which has been slowly loosening overtime the more Raz collects and sorts the Emotional Baggage in the luggage cart, the tags which are found all over the train usually where you’d find the family members, finally cracks open and out pops Augustus’s own Maligula. I picture it like a hybrid of Lucy’s Maligula, with the purple skin and the looming presence and tear tracks, and Raz’s mental construct of his dad, with the stitching and the unrealistic twisting and bending and attitude.

This results in a fight where Augustus’ Maligula becomes this giant water monster intent on completely destroying the train and taking over the system, to which Raz and Augustus need to stop it together. Augustus essentially acts as support, giving Raz a boost of power similar to how he did in Psychonauts 1 and telekinetically tossing projectiles towards him so Raz can fight back against the storm.

Once Augustus Maligula is defeated and recaged, Augustus swears to Raz he isn’t going to do this alone anymore. The train will be…out of commission for awhile, so Augustus can catch up with family business. He doesn’t know how he’ll continue the circus, or what path they’ll go down…but with his family there? And thanks to Razputin’s help?

Augustus is positive they can find a middle ground this time. One that, hopefully, won’t crash and burn.

Tldr; Augustus’s entire mental world is about him ignoring his trauma and feelings after he’s remembered everything and forcing himself into work. Be it caring for the family, focusing on the circus, doing whatever he can to occupy his mind and not think about his feelings. This unfortunately leads him to ignoring his family, which leads into Augustus believing they don’t want him around in the first place for what he’s done.

Augustus keeps feeding into his own bad mentality and habits because this is all he’s known for all his life. So he doesn’t have much else to go off. And because he doesn’t realize it’s bad, he doesn’t talk about it. He doesn’t wanna burden his family with more problems when they already are dealing with enough.

Augustus needs to be a strong husband and father right now. He needs to keep the train moving for his family. Even when he’s so exhausted he can barely think, he has to keep going. It’s all worth it when it’s for his family.