i've had an odd obsession with body-suits and leotards since i was really small. i was going to be a dancer - for much of my childhood that was my thing, and i was in classes for jazz, tap, ballet, and classical dance for years until my parents decided it was too much hassle and too much money and they wanted to focus on my brother's tennis career instead
even years after i lost that though, my love for that particular article of clothing remained and was reignited violently i saw Meg Tilly doing a dancer's stretching routine in one in the opening scenes of The Big Chill when i was a preteen. she was so beautiful and had such a gorgeous figure, i wanted to look exactly like that so badly i got out my old dance leotards and was so completely devastated when none of them fit me anymore. i had no reason to ask mum to buy me a new one that fit, no class to wear it to, no good excuse for it. i let it go
as a teenager, my body was suddenly plagued with lipedema (not that i knew that at the time, i thought i was just ugly and fat), so i covered up completely every chance i got, refused to even wear swimwear to the beach or the pool and opted for shirts and long shorts in the water. when i turned 18, i remembered some awful things that happened to me that i'd repressed, and ballooned up to super morbidly obese within a year - and stayed that way for most of my life
now that i'm finally losing that weight for good, now that over 100lbs of that is off and the last 100lbs is well on its way and i am actively taking care of myself, one of the things i love to do is sit on a big, beautiful round mat in my living room and do my vibration plate work, my body brushing, and my skincare routine in the morning with something relaxing on the TV. i realized when i began it that i was not going to be able to do my body brushing on my legs while fully dressed, and i didn't want to sit out there in my underwear - so i decided to be brave, and i bought myself some bodysuits
now i get to wear them every morning, and while i know i'll never look the way i want to in them, i love them more than anything
new ask game send me a 🌻 and ill just tell you whatever the fuck i want