โCHARACTER HEADCANON GENERATOR โฏ .แ
โ ๐๐๐๐ง๐ ๐๐๐ซ๐ค๐๐ซ ๐๐จ๐๐ฌ ๐ข๐ง๐ญ๐ซ๐ข๐๐๐ญ๐ ๐๐ง๐ ๐๐ฑ๐ฉ๐๐ง๐ฌ๐ข๐ฏ๐ ๐๐จ๐ฌ๐ฉ๐ฅ๐๐ฒ๐ฌ.
the most infuriating part is that she never tells anyone.
someone will stumble across an old convention photo online & discover deena spent six months hand-stitching a costume that belongs in a museum. she researches fabrics. ages materials by hand. learns completely unnecessary skills for historical accuracy.
when asked why she spent three hundred dollars recreating a costume nobody would notice the details on, she simply shrugs.
โ i would notice. โ
which somehow makes it worse.
โ ๐๐๐๐ง๐ ๐๐๐ซ๐ค๐๐ซ ๐ข๐ฌ ๐๐ฐ๐๐ฎ๐ฅ ๐ฐ๐ข๐ญ๐ก ๐ญ๐๐๐ก๐ง๐จ๐ฅ๐จ๐ ๐ฒ.
deena can uncover government conspiracies, identify inconsistencies in witness testimony, and connect impossible dots across multiple investigations.
a smartphone, however, remains her greatest adversary.
she once spent twenty minutes trying to close a browser tab.
she accidentally screenshots things constantly.
there are approximately forty-seven unread notifications on her phone at all times because she refuses to learn what any of the symbols mean.
people assume she's joking.
she isn't.
her relationship with technology is based entirely on hostility & mutual distrust.
โ ๐๐๐๐ง๐ ๐๐๐ซ๐ค๐๐ซ ๐๐๐ง๐ง๐จ๐ญ ๐๐ซ๐ข๐ฏ๐.
this is not because she never learned.
it's because driving requires trusting everyone else on the road.
deena barker has met people.
absolutely not.
she knows the rules. understands the mechanics. could probably explain traffic laws better than most licensed drivers.
none of that changes the fact that every time she gets behind the wheel she becomes convinced every other car is participating in a coordinated assassination attempt.
after three near panic attacks & one memorable incident involving a mailbox, she accepted defeat. she walks. she bikes. she manipulates friends into driving her places.
survival comes in many forms.
โ ๐๐๐๐ง๐ ๐๐๐ซ๐ค๐๐ซ ๐ข๐ฌ ๐ ๐ซ๐๐๐ญ ๐ฐ๐ข๐ญ๐ก ๐ค๐ข๐๐ฌ.
children love her.
nobody understands why.
perhaps it's because deena never talks down to them.
perhaps it's because she treats every ridiculous story with complete sincerity.
perhaps children simply recognize kind people faster than adults do.
either way, they flock to her.
she knows how to listen.
how to sit on the floor during tea parties.
how to answer difficult questions without making a child feel foolish.
she would die before admitting how much she enjoys it.
but there is something healing about being trusted by someone who has not yet learned how cruel the world can be.
โ ๐๐๐๐ง๐ ๐๐๐ซ๐ค๐๐ซ ๐ ๐๐ญ๐ฌ ๐ซ๐จ๐๐ ๐ซ๐๐ ๐.
violently.
spectacularly.
the woman who can remain calm while discussing murder investigations becomes an entirely different person when another driver forgets how turn signals work.
suddenly she's delivering courtroom-quality arguments to strangers through the windshield.
creating elaborate backstories about their incompetence.
questioning their ancestry.
their education.
their decision-making process.
their relationship with god.
the truly impressive part?
she never actually rolls the window down.
all of it happens inside the safety of her own vehicle.
a furious one-woman podcast that nobody else is allowed to hear.
TAGGED BY: @hawkinsown (thanks bby! ;) ) TAGGING: @hawklines | @paladinstales | @sleuthscreams | @eidetic187 | @bennettdiaries
