#memeans;

With Fugaku accepting this responsibility, it left his older sister more or less free to do what she pleased. She was talented, as expected for one of her lineage and her betrothal to Kagami was looked upon with approval. He was a second cousin once removed, an extremely accomplished shinobi and seen as a good match for the clan leader’s daughter. Whether the couple was looking forward to their union was up for debate, though anyone that saw them together could say they were rather content with the arrangement. In fact their personalities were quite compatible.

Satomi, that was her name. While it implied beauty most would say the young woman was quite homely. Her nose was big, her hair was thin and limp, her teeth were a bit crooked… But Satomi’s smile made Fugaku feel at ease, her laugh was loud and infectious, her spirit was bold and unbreakable. In so many ways she was beautiful. Fugaku knew how good she was at keeping secrets, in his childhood he had told her about silly little things that would be embarrassing to admit to anyone else. Satomi always smiled and nodded, humoring her little brother.

Fugaku became very busy learning the ins and outs of leadership. At the same time Satomi was bombarded with advice on marriage and motherhood from well meaning but very intrusive clanswoman. All the aunties were making baby clothes even before the wedding! While it became frustrating, it was all taken in stride and Satomi graciously accepted the pearls of wisdom and tiny onesies.

The wedding was small but well attended, everyone wanted to see the young bride off. Satomi had refused much of the fancy makeup and ornate jewels, it felt a bit gaudy and she preferred a more simple look. Many of the ladies in attendance watched enviously as Kagami and Satomi said their vows. Afterward, Satomi searched the crowds for her brother, he had promised to be there.

Fugaku guiltily slunk in at the end, having just come back from a briefing with the elders. He couldn’t just run off on them even for his sister’s wedding. His eyes caught Satomi’s, all the man could do was give an apologetic look as the new bride approached him.

“Sorry nee-san.” he said softly, his expression had smoothed over now, face unreadable to anyone else. “I had to meet with the elders after my mission.” 

“Ah, so that’s how it is then. Can’t be helped.” Satomi understood the pressures her brother was facing, they had slowly been growing apart since Fugaku’s training began. So she took what she could. “Thank you for coming Fugaku.” She swept her brother into a tight hug, it was a little unbecoming and Fugaku felt his cheeks warm at the rather intimate embrace. For a moment he returned the gesture before pulling away carefully.

“You should be a little more…mindful neesan.” Again his face had become blank but stern. Satomi frowned, Fugaku wasn’t the boy he used to be. He was becoming something harder, more distant and there was nothing to be done about it.

“Sorry, I’ll be more careful next time then.” Despite the lack of expression, Fugaku felt an ache in his chest at those words. This growing distance was a small sacrifice to be made for the future. His sister shouldn’t expect special treatment.

Satomi and Kagami were happily expecting their first child. Fugaku was becoming more engrossed in hie duties and he had recently become engaged. Juggling the tasks of courting his fiance and taking more of his father’s duties to ease the transition of leadership was actually quite stressful. He didn’t know what to do when meeting Mikoto, girls had never held great interest to him except for a crush he had as a child. This was different, he was going to marry this woman that he only knew vaguely from clan gatherings in the past. They would have to learn more about each other and be compatible to some extent. In his desperation Fugaku called Satomi in for an “emergency meeting” without giving many details. It would be embarrassing for anyone else to know about his struggles in romance.

His sister sat across the small table, a swollen belly getting between her and a cup of tea. She looked mildly concerned as Fugaku steepled his hands together and stared intently at his sibling.

“Fugaku, what’s on your mind? I’m not getting any younger here…” She preferred others being outright about things.

“Neesan.” How to approach the subject without looking like a clueless idiot? Fugaku settled on a roundabout manner. “What do you like about Kagami-san?”

“Kagami?” Okay, that was random. Did Fugaku not like her husband? It seemed odd to bring that up after all this time.. “Well, he’s fun to be around. Kind, even though he’s busy we always have a nice time together when he’s home. He’s older, though that doesn’t necessarily…well, he’s mature. I like that he has strong beliefs and doesn’t let what other’s think bother him.” Actually Satomi could talk for hours about why she liked Kagami, there wasn’t a better man for her! Secretly she felt quite lucky to be his wife. Her ears were a little red, along with the apples of her cheeks. “I just think he’s a good man. I love him very much Fugaku.” She really hoped that Fugaku didn’t harbor ill feelings toward Kagami.

“Oh, I see.” Was it a little hot in here..? Even Fugaku was a little flushed, it felt weird seeing his sister gush over someone. It was just weird seeing such affection period. Their parents had never acted like that about each other and Fugaku never questioned their relationship. Love wasn’t something openly discussed, let alone other feelings that were considered “womanly” or “childish.” So poor Fugaku was genuinely at a loss, how could he act so Mikoto would look at him with the same kind of adoration Satomi had for her spouse? “Neesan, you know of my engagement correct?” There was the slightest hint of nervousness in his voice. Would she think he was stupid for not understanding something that seemed natural to her?

“Yes, ah, it’s Mikoto right? Your future wife?~” Now the elder sibling had a sly expression, so this wasn’t really about Kagami was it. “She’s a pretty girl, just got promoted to jounin I heard? I think she’s a good match for you.”

Now Fugaku was full on blushing. This had been a terrible idea, Satomi was teasing him now. It’d only get worse once she knew the truth. “Thank you neesan.” A few moment passed before Fugaku felt his body cool down, only his sister could get such a reaction out of him. “I have gone out with her a few times…she’s a little quiet. Not that it’s a bad thing—” Just that conversations were difficult and immensely awkward. They didn’t know anything about each other. “I’d like to, well, have her feel more at ease when we’re together.” He just had no idea what to do, all his ideas were terribly boring. What kind of man would call playing shogi a date? Though Mikoto was a decent opponent, that much he gathered.

Ah, so the truth came out. Satomi suddenly felt better knowing what Fugaku really wanted to talk about. Why couldn’t he just say what was on his mind? She laughed, loudly. Just like Fugaku had feared. The man frowned whilst looking to the side, he wasn’t so lighthearted like her. A sharp pain in the woman’s lower abdomen cut her laughter short. She winced and rubbed her belly, just a contraction. “Fugaku, you’re going to make me have this baby if you keep it up.”

Without realizing it Fugaku had gone to Satomi’s side, his normal mask having falling away with instinctive concern. “Are you alright neesan?” She met his gaze, a little surprised at the emotion apparent in his eyes. It made her smile fondly.

“I’m fine Fugaku. It’s just a contraction, happens all the time.” She patted the peak of her stomach in assurance. “I think you’re worrying too much. Why don’t you go outside the district and enjoy the sakura blossoms? They’re in full bloom right about now. Maybe you two can enjoy a picnic.” Then conversation could naturally develop, rather than feel forced. “Kagami took me out to see them last season, I probably won’t be allowed to leave with how far along I am now.” A shame people fretted so much over her, Satomi thought it was rather silly for others to worry this much.

“Ah. Thank you neesan. I’ll do that.” It actually sounded like a good plan. He just needed to make himself available. Easy right?

In reality it wasn’t so easy, though Fugaku managed to schedule the date toward the end of the blooming season. The blossoms weren’t nearly as impressive but it still created a relaxing environment. Mikoto was also a very good cook he discovered.

     Malukoa, it felt like a good fit. ‘Warrior of peace’, it sounded silly translated but whatever. It was a nod to her parent’s naming scheme and to her interest in archaeology.

     So he, Malukoa or Malu-kun as the orphans called him, for the first time felt accepted. He didn’t feel ashamed or wrong about himself. He made small changes to his appearance, shorter hair and a change of clothes. It helped ease the unpleasant feelings he experienced otherwise. What had been the biggest help was having Sasuke around, he’d been aware of Malukoa’s struggles and in his own way made sure the male was comfortable. Always corrected someone if they misgendered, quietly offered an ear for Malukoa to talk off when he felt especially low too.

     His biggest fear was drinking alcohol again, after recovering from the past abuse Malu never wanted to touch another bottle. Sasuke had done so much for him, much more than the young man realized. Those nights when cravings came back Malu would go to Sasuke and sit with him. They’d sit and maybe read a book together, a good distraction from dangerous urges.

     Months inched forward and it’s only felt like Mika had arrived only days before. Suddenly everyone was a year older, Sasuke had gained a few inches and Mika realized he was just barely taller than her. Really only a hair but she definitely remembered having to angle her head down slightly to meet his eyes. Now they were at the same level. For some reason that frustrated Mika more than anything. She was older and used to being one of the tallest people around. Juugo didn’t count because no one else could be as tall.

     Things change with time, often subtly like one’s body and the pitch of their voice. Other things could transform at the drop of the hat. Malukoa came to realize this one autumn afternoon after the children had been left to play outside and Taka had gone off to gather supplies. Sasuke rarely left the village, the two men were alone in the house. Malu started to prepare dinner for when Taka came back and he ventured out to the living space. Sasuke was, as usual, losing himself in some book. Certainly not a bad habit. Beams of light filtered through the windows and hit Sasuke’s figure in an odd way. Malu found himself staring, very intently staring. Why was he just now noticing the exact shade of Sasuke’s hair? Was he always so fair skinned? The little details became fascinating and it wasn’t until Malu felt an urge to draw closer and touch that he realized what had happened.

     Oh no. Oh gods no not Sasuke of all people. A cold stone dropped into his stomach and it took everything to leave. His head felt light, his heart was pounding and damn he wanted a drink so bad. With a long exhale he grasped the counter and stared at his unfinished meal. When had he stopped thinking of Sasuke as just a friend or as a brother? Why? Were these the repressed emotions bubbling back at full force? It became difficult to see as tears welled up in Malu’s eyes, his vegetables would get salty if he cried over them. With every growing reluctance the man pulled away and drag his feet back to the other room. Sasuke didn’t acknowledge his presence, hopefully not having noticed how the other had looked at him.

     Damnit. This was the last thing he wanted. Of all the people he could fall in love with it had to be Sasuke Uchiha. The one person that… he’d never love someone like Malukoa. Who would want a broken, loose person like him? Sasuke knew too much, he knew about the alcohol addiction, the sleeping around, every bad choice Malu had made when they were in Konoha. He probably pitied Malu. Somehow, regardless of what he was thinking and feeling, the young man slowly approached Sasuke and sat by him. Even feeling the horrible there was a powerful desire to be in the other’s vicinity. After a few moments of silence and staring their eyes met. A question passed between them.

     "Sasuke.” Malukoa’s voice was deep, he’d been practicing diligently of keeping it consistent in tone. He’d slowly become more confident speaking like a man. Hands carefully moved closer and he held them palms outward. Malu was trying to telegraph his movements so Sasuke wouldn’t be surprised. Curious how tender love made things. Even more curious how it changed how someone looked. Those hands very carefully touched the sides of Sasuke’s face and cupped his cheeks. There was an opportunity for him to pull away but Malukoa only got a look of confusion at the contact. It was better than a firm rejection.

     "Sasuke, I think I love you. Isn’t that crazy?” Why was Sasuke getting so blurry? Oh right, tears did that. A restrained laugh escaped Malu and those tears finally burst forth. Big warm drops rolled down his cheeks and Sasuke still didn’t say anything. A twitch to the corner of his mouth and his eyelids lowering slightly were the only indication he had heard the confession. Better than a hard shove or a 'Yes that is crazy, stop touching me.' So Malu dared to move closer and rise onto his knees. In this position he was finally taller than Sasuke again, as he should be. Quivering lips puckered and softened a little before touching a forehead. It was a chaste kiss, gentle and promising a million more if Sasuke would let him do so. Sasuke’s eyes opened wide and he stared at Malu when he sat back down. Understandably the Uchiha was confused.

     "Why.” Not a question. Sasuke never asked, he demanded answers. People didn’t refuse him and it might have made the guy a bit spoiled. Malukoa smiled and laughed a little more freely. Thank the gods. He’d never felt so relieved.