#meet-cutes

The banner really says it all. I love writing Pynch meet-cutes. I don't think I've ever done a master post of all of them, so here they are:

Chasing Tails - Rated G - 6k - A veterinarian meet-cute.

Going Back to These Origins - Rated G - 5k - A museum meet-cute.

Love, Comma, Ronan - Rated G - 7k - A bakery meet-cute.

Fatally Yours - Rated T - 4k - A funeral home meet-cute.

Meet Me on Your Mat - Rated G - 2k - A yoga meet-cute.

Pièce de Résistance - Rated G - 3k - An art gallery meet-cute.

Desperate Measures - Rated G - 5k - A group project meet-cute.

The Magician Entertainment - Rated G - 5k - An "I work with your insufferable brother" meet-cute.

Bloom - Rated G - 8k - A botanic garden meet-cute.

Something Unusual, Something Strange - Rated G - 2k - A farmers market meet-cute.

Laundry Day - Rated G - 3k - An apartment building meet-cute.

Yonder Window - Rated G - 7k - Another apartment building meet-cute (this time with dogs).

Sleigh-in' It - Rated G - 8k - A Christmas day grocery store meet-cute.

Safe Bet - Rated G - 1k - A scheming meet-cute.

Just Coffee - Rated G - 4k - A coffee shop meet-cute.

So, I know last week I said that there was going to be a series of columns based on marketing yourself on social media. And there will be, but I forgot that Tuesday was Valentine’s Day. Because of that, I think it’s appropriate that I write a column about an element of the romance genre.   You may or may not know that I enjoy reading romance books. I particularly like the romance-comedy genre,…

(JSYK: This story has suggestive themes, but is not NSFW. It's really more silly than anything)

“Hey, you think I’d look good in that?” Your friend pushed aside a dressing room curtain and posed in a yellow-and-black striped romper. She had this habit of finding the most ridiculous outfits and trying them on so the two of you could have a good laugh about it.

“Maybe, if you’re contending for the ‘Mrs. Queen Bee’ awards.” You snorted. “I should sic you on some poor sucker’s picnic so we can get free food.”

Your friend grinned. “Now that’s not a bad idea. Everything in this mall is so damn expensive, even the food court prices are inflated. Ten dollars for one pizza slice? No thanks.”

You shrugged. “Well, at least everything in this store’s on sale.”

Your friend drew the curtain. “Oh! Speaking of sales, you know that adult store on the first floor?”

“What, you mean Risqué? That store we go into literally every time we go to the mall?” Usually the two of you went to gawk at the latest lingerie or comment on the ‘toys’ and racy paraphernalia in the back room. It’s a tradition you honored ever since it opened three years ago.

“Yeah, that one. I think their stuff is, like, thirty percent off or something. Maybe I can finally get that bra I’ve been eyeing for weeks.”

You rolled your eyes and smirked. “Guess we finally have a reason this time.”

To get there, you had to pass through the fancy section of the mall. You and your friend pointed at outfits on display that you couldn’t afford with six month’s salary. Your friend sometimes dragged you in those stores and tried stuff on so she could “see what it feels like to be a rich person.” Personally, you didn’t like going in them because you were pretty sure the tuxedoed workers were judging your plebian attire from the moment you entered their shop. No doubt they could tell you weren’t a serious shopper.

“Here we are!” Your friend exclaimed as you approached the storefront, which was adorned with mannequins in various lacy undergarments. You were still surprised they could advertise that stuff right outside the door—even Victoria’s Secret bras were displayed behind glass. You stopped to admire a sweater—well, it was sort of like a sweater, sans the sleeves and a good portion of the back.

You read the tag. “’Virgin-Killer,’ huh? Also on sale. Hmmm.” You turned to face your friend. “You think my future boyfriend would like to see me in this—.” Oh shit, that wasn’t your friend. The person was much taller and not even human. He appeared to be a monster. A skeleton-monster, you guessed, although his eyesockets were a bit narrower than the ones on skulls you knew. Hell, he even had pupil-eye-dot things in the center of them. He wasn’t the first monster you encountered, but certainly the most human-like.

You braced for a moment of awkward silence, but his response didn’t miss a beat. “Well, it’s interesting, I’ll give it that. Doesn’t leave much to the imagination, but I’m guessing that’s what you’re going for?”

“Um, uh, I mean, sure.” It took you a few seconds to recover your sanity. “Sorry, Sir. My friend was behind me a few seconds ago…she must’ve gone in the store.”

The skeleton chuckled. “Don’t sweater it. Although, I gotta warn ya, I’m not the best with fashion advice, especially in this department.” Oh god, that pun was so terrible you had to laugh. “The name’s Papyrus, or Paps, for short.” After introducing yourself, your friend came out with a bag in hand.

“I was wondering where you went. You never even came into the store—.” She stopped when she saw who was next to you and smiled deviously. “A friend of yours?”

“Well, actually,” you began.

 “Great! We were just about to grab lunch at the food court. Wanna join us?” It didn’t take you long to figure out she was trying to set you two up somehow. This was crazy; you barely even knew each other! There was no way he was going to say yes to that.

RED (Underfell Sans)

Red looked up at you as you were taking someone else’s order. Grillby’s pub was doing well on the surface. So well, in fact, that he had to take on new staff members just to keep up with his increase in regulars. You happened to be one of them. You had been waiting tables and occasionally bussing for a few weeks now, and you had to admit you liked your job more than you thought you would. Everyone here was just so interesting—humans and monsters alike—even if some of your customers weren’t the best tippers. The monster patrons didn’t talk much, but when they did (which was usually after some alcohol entered their system) they practically told you their whole life’s story. You had to cut them off a lot of the time because you had other people to serve, but you really wanted to hear more about what it was like to live in the mountain.

Of all the monsters you had met so far, Red was the most…intriguing. He was here almost every night. Granted, he seemed to be a friend of your boss’, but it still seemed a little strange. Even the barstool he sat on seemed to be reserved for him. You caught his gaze as you went to the bar to ask for a beer on tap. You were used to it at this point, so you just smiled back professionally and turned to look somewhere else as you waited. Other times, when you had the time, you’d break the ice with some humor, which he seemed to appreciate and respond to. Admittedly, he was funny and kind of cute. After giving you what you wanted Grillby glared at Red, leaned over the counter, and nudged him forcefully on the shoulder.

“Hey! You think I don’t see you? Quit ogling at my wait staff.” That seemed to get Red’s attention, as well as some of the other bar-goers.

Unfortunately, it also put a blush on your face, so you quickly turned around to give the beer to a customer. Your boss was very straightforward about things and was never afraid to tell a customer off, even those he knew. You guessed it was an attitude he had to adopt during his time underground.

After delivering the beer you scurried over to the bathroom, which was down a little hallway that was perpendicular to one side of the bar. That seemed to be the penalty for not going before your shift. As soon Grillby thought you were out of earshot, he turned to Red. “Look, Sans, are you just going to stare at them creepily every night, or are you going to ask them out? Because I’m growing really tired of watching you watch them. I’ll even formally introduce them to you myself if it means you’ll stop.”

You were barely down the little corridor when you heard him say that. Your blush returned in full force.

“Nah, that’d put too much pressure on ‘em. ‘Sides, they’re human. Why would they ever wanna go out with a monster like me?” Red replied. Your eyebrows furrowed as you felt a little bit of sympathy for him. You desperately wanted to hear the rest, but your bladder didn’t want to wait for you, so you had no choice but to quit eavesdropping.

When your shift was finally over, and Grillby was out of sight, you tapped Red lightly on the shoulder. You thought about the idea while you were working and had finally decided to give him a chance. You were gonna do it. You had never done this before, but you were gonna do it.

“What do y-?” Red snapped before seeing it was you. “Oh! I’m s-so sorry. I t-thought you were someone else.”

You gave him a patient smile. “It’s alright. I couldn’t really do this when I was working, but, uh, I was wondering if you wanted to get coffee sometime? I know a cute little café not too far from here. My friend actually owns it.”

“Oh, um, sure. That—that sounds nice.” Red replied.

“Cool. I gotta jet, so here’s my number. Call me anytime.” You handed him a sticky note from a stack you had found in the kitchen.

He looked down at it in disbelief, but all he said was, “Okay.”

Meet-cutes are like the opening scenes in which a future romantic couple meets, usually in an odd or comedic fashion. Whatever comes out of their interaction serves to advance the plot. These are seen more in romcoms than anywhere else. I knew that was sort of a romantic cliché but I never knew there was an actual term for it.

Here’s a link to Wikipedia’s page about them in case you want to learn more.

For advent and for practice I wrote a series of ten little tiny meet-cutes. 100 - 1500 words. Klaine. Fluff. And now that I've put them up at AO3, I thought I’d pop a list here. They're here in order from most to least popular because that fascinated me.

Twist: 1500 words, B POV, It’s the national gymnastic championships, but it’s not just Blaine’s Olympic dreams on the line, his heart’s on the line too.

Harmony: 370 words, K POV, It’s way past time for Kurt to meet the neighbor he’s been singing cross-alleyway duets with.

Needle: 1000 words, K POV,Tattoos have an intimacy all their own, Kurt’s known that for years, but still this new client is getting under Kurt’s skin.

Balance: 400 words, K POV, En route by train to a chateau in France, Kurt meets a pleasant young man who’s not quite what he seems.

Ache: 150 words, K POV, Kurt’s been dragged into this game of basketball, and now some short guy’s playing rings around him.

Jukebox: 450 words, K POV, Someone has taken over the jukebox at the local diner, but Kurt can’t even mind.

Cloud: 200 words, B POV, there’s a weary passenger on his boat and somehow Blaine’s willing to risk everything to see him smile

Occasion: 100 words, B POV, Everything about the wedding reception is beautiful, but Blaine can’t look away from the stranger across the room.

Please: 100 words, M, K POV, this is a bathhouse. everyone is here for one reason.