#meditativeacts

February is now half over and with it this month’s Domagick challenge. While this week’s artistic meditations remained as enjoyable and relaxing as those previous, they weren’t as productive because they didn’t result in as much writing afterward. That isn’t the fault of the meditations themselves, however, but mine. I spent as much time as I could resting between jobs thanks to feeling run down due to a cold. Because of this, I tried to take a cue from Julia Cameron of The Artist’s Way who said it is possible to “rest on paper” and decided to work with aspects of the Daemonic Divine that I find the most restorative, energizing, and soothing. This allowed me to sit with them and draw on their reserves when it felt like the day’s chores would be too much for me alone. With them, I was able to augment my energy with theirs and get through the day successfully.

My artistic meditations this week include work with six different spirits, but my absolute favorite this week were:

Rosier – The connection I had with him during this piece was extremely strong. I could see him clearly in my mind’s eye, handing over such a crystal, and I nearly overflowed with positivity.

Belial – For this meditation, I chose a straightforward grounding visualization. I’ll add it here, in case you would like to follow along.

Sit or stand quietly with your feet approximately your shoulders’ width apart and your feet flat on the floor. Close your eyes and turn your attention inward. Now take a few deep breaths to clear your mind. When you are ready, picture you are a tree with a tall, strong trunk reaching all the way up to the sky. Roots grow out of the base of your spine, down and out of the soles of your feet, and deep into the soil beneath you. The roots anchor you there, securing you firmly.

Take a few more deep breaths. Each time you exhale, visualize your roots sinking deeper and deeper into the earth, connecting you even more deeply to the dirt and rocks below. As you inhale, see your roots drinking in the nutrients deep below the ground. Rain falls and the sun shines down on the earth, nourishing and feeding it, feeding you. With each inhalation, your roots drink in this vital life energy, pulling it up into your body. The energy flows up your trunk, up your body, into your branches. Breath it in and feel it flowing through your entire body, filling every part of you with rich, abundant energy. You feel this energy run through your entire trunk, through your whole body, up into the sun, into the brightness, leaving you secure and energized.

Take a few more deep breaths, reveling in this feeling, enjoying it. Sit with the vitality and energy running through your body as long as you like. When you feel satisfied, thank the earth for its sustenance. Withdraw from it slowly by beginning to wiggle your fingers and toes, then finally bringing your attention back to the room you are sitting in. Open your eyes when you are ready. If you feel at all unsteady, have something to eat or drink. Many people find it helpful to record the results of the meditations in some way, and I recommend this.

So day 30 came, I did the mantra and meditation work and went, and for a while I am taking a break from the book writing, I will get back to it.   The last week was kinda hard when I ended.  A week of work kills the creativity.   I didn’t really know what to say, how powerful that is.  I mean I know it drains me, but it was a real struggle to actually write.  It's not like I feel that drained either, well ok some days I do, but I have no real idea how much it tanks my creativity.   Of course, life too, but the combination, its killer.

I was not really to happy or unhappy with the 1.2K writing.   I wish I could get this to more like 3-4K for non-fiction for 1 day, not including research, but 1.2K is not the worst I could do.

There's a few things I really found about myself:

1.  Stress and the Muse don't together well, I know.  That stress thing I am not sure how to get it down,

2.  When I sit down to do shit, its pretty good.  So I have to work more on that process, because while I was not fully happy with I am producing, I do think it is pretty good.

3. My life is too complicated as far as the stress goes, and really only some of that is grad school.  Finding magical ways to reduce that must be a real priority in a truely strategic way,  The success even to get to 1.1 K writing was due to this.    Now in this semester, I started right before the domagick challenge, I went on a magic spree working on anything that is a problem with  the writing.   Really with some success actually, not TOTAL victory mind you, but shit is getting better.

4.  Thinking about the domagick challenges, I realize I have made alot of progress but I have to get back on the health ( even though TONS of progress),  and should move all my meditations to moving meditations. I want to move back in that direction,  I generally think tai chi, with some Neu Gong components.

So some Objectives Met and not Met:

The Bad

I did not fully finish the book, now this was just wholly wishful thinking.

I did not do any shape shifting course writing, again wholly just wishful thinking there.

Marketing, hahahahhaa, yeah nice, real nice joke there.

The Good

30 K,

Really started to work on a pretty solid artistic magical framework for self-alchemy with writing,  This wasn't the best I could come up with, but it worked pretty good.

Kinda loved the writing again, and that was despite the distraction.

People were really cool about the experiment ( outside of some particularly cases).

I did something… that's good… :)

The Ugly

Distractions.  Holy shit when you try to do the something, shit comes out and just and screws with you, this is really hard.  It takes constant discipline and aggressive magical work in some cases to really work on that shit.  Thats sorta working on the symptoms and the the cause.  Working on the cause… sometimes those are definitely non-linear effects,   once you put the creative act into a framework of some sort of alchemy, THEY are probably always there, but in this you notice them, and you can't ignore them

Those damn inner “demons” They come to play and they play hard.  Creative acts seem to bring them out more powerfully, so if you are working on your own work on this, try hard to well consider this.. Doubts shit like that,   that all affects magic, but trying to build something new.     I could see where and even more how this undercuts me.   Now I do shadow work, so I know… but  this stuff is a little just too below the surface for day to day life.   Always more magic to do.

Since day 30, I have been thinking alot about that and a lot of the whole 30 days.  I specifically waited for school to restart before writing this.  I kinda wanted to see what I was in for in this semester, which honestly I have no real idea yet, but I do feel like I am in a better place the last semester.  That said Entrepreneurial Finance could be a bitch, and the negotiation course is useful but draining but you know what, No group projects.  I'll take it.  Now I can tell those inner demons I was kinda sussing out with the writing, ho I see how they interact when taking about Finance and Entrepreneurship, and negotiation already is hard ( I am pretty good at it, but I its draining, remember.. Im introverted).

Alright, today, I just was trying to think about things and going forward.   I dealt with a rough work week   I just didnt want to do it, I wanted to sit and f%$K around so I can mostly admit I did that…. Basically sit around and fuck around, somewhat because I know, I know.  Come wednesday I am screeeeeewed as far as time…

Started this around midnight.

Aum x 108. Using this technique.

Om Gam Ganapayte Svaahaa x 108

Chakra re-aligning and banishing   108 for each chakra, plus all together 108

Microcosmic orbit 6 breathes.

Condensing breathing into the bone.

Om Gam Ganapayte Svaahaa x 108

Then I fiddled with the stuff for 30 minutes, and kinda was like meh.   Mostly it was the work stuff, I know I had some kinda f#$d conflict, and I also know I that really does ( and its obvious now after 28 days), that conflict and interpersonal drama kills my muse.

Kills it dead. Which makes so much sense when you think about why I couldn’t finish stuff.

Today was a complete FUCK kind of day.  I literally thought I had the day off.  I didn’t so I had to actually run into work.  That threw me way way off big time.  I wasn’t ready for work, and I really after taking the 2 weeks off to write which while there was obstacles was pretty enjoyable ( and possibly too much magic to deal with those obstacles)…. Really need to work on the resume and get out.   I know work stress and lack of meaning there is the worst.   I tried to magically work on some of those issues as powerful as I could to re-educate some people.

Then I somehow hurt my foot, and wife had to help me with it.  Mostly cause its so cold and the skin got fuckered.. So its mostly just cause, yo its 5 degrees.  She had me soak it, and the thinking was, well you can do the meditation… nope.. That shit soaking hurt like hell.  I did do the chakra work, but clearly was distracted by well Pain, but I kept doing it and focusing.

So I did the

Aum x 108. Using this technique.

Om Gam Ganapayte Svaahaa x 108

Chakra re-aligning and banishing   108 for each chakra, plus all together 108

Microcosmic orbit 6 breathes.

Condensing breathing into the bone.

Om Gam Ganapayte Svaahaa x 108

My wife set up a simple altar with the Chakra symbols which was nice, and a nice focus.

Then I got down to writing.   So I covered a few things, I just dont think will make the final cut, but I took my wife’s advice and just included things.    I am see some changes around that sorta indicate some success at some of the work I did.  Hopeful, but always results watching.

So today,  I only did a little writing again and the new year work on Sunday and redoing temple ( aka cleaning), is taking time..  I did the chakra ganesh work with the Gigong energy redirecting.

Aum x 108. Using this technique.

Om Gam Ganapayte Svaahaa x 108

Chakra re-aligning and banishing   108 for each chakra, plus all together 108

Microcosmic orbit 6 breathes.

Condensing breathing into the bone.

Om Gam Ganapayte Svaahaa x 108

I am doing the 30 minutes of writing post the exercise, but I still feel like I am making not enough progress.

There are a few energy issues I am having.  First, the strength of the angel work was sorta a whole bunch of spiritual pressure downward from heaven, while the chakras are working upward…  Its tending to cause problems in my neck area because like my Crown was so opened with that angel ritual.   Still good results are flowing in from that rite, but alot of painful but needed results too,... I might have to switch to straight Gigong for a while, but this too is far less of a inspiration bent to the process,   It is relaxing, but not inspirational.

I am also seeing some pretty strong obstacles crop up regarding my writing process, and how I carve time out.  I generally am most productive when everyone goes to sleep and am very much a night owl. The quiet of the house night let’s me really focusing in and it seems more natural for work on a occult  book.  I am not sure how I am going to keep up with homework work and deal with any writing, given that probably is not going to work anymore.  It's really bumming me out since I am making progress, but these set of issues really are a no-win on that and I can’t see them resolving through the methods I am using in a satisfactory method.  Generally speaking, when shit presents you with a no-win scenario, just try to change the whole rules of the game.

So today,  I only did a little writing.   Mostly I was dealing with some of the fallout of the Angel Ritual I performed.   More weird oddities where some aspects of physical reality is breaking down   I did do the 30 minutes of working on the book and the meditative work.  

Since the lamp I did was finished faster than normal, I moved back to my chakra ganesh work with the Gigong energy redirecting

Aum x 108. Using this technique.

Om Gam Ganapayte Svaahaa x 108

Chakra re-aligning and banishing   108 for each chakra, plus all together 108

Microcosmic orbit 6 breathes.

Condensing breathing into the bone.

Om Gam Ganapayte Svaahaa x 108

We were doing alot of prep-work already for new years  and new years reading with Legba.  Unfortunately, this is eating my writing time, but that said day 13th and 16,385  words writing.  Not shabby, not great either.   Thats about 1260 words a day.  Thats not shameful, but not great either.  I am starting to have real reservations about what happens when I go back to work on the 3rd and part of the Road opener work is probably getting me to think hard about working on a different job,  Having the break and doing the chakra work, I am calm about it, but Im done there.

I am very sure I could research and write a non-occult book, but would have to really pay attention to the marketing … again, its just not the time to make the job fully to that ( because of the risks involved, but I would need several months of work before that).

So today was eventful. I was helping @andrieh-vitimus with a ritual..I was left speechless. In & after the ritual there were weird physical oddities & manifestations.

With my personal practice today, I did Reiki as usual. I started to combine 3 Dantian merging + condense breathing into the set today. During the process..I went deep fast. At some point in the process, aspecting the 10 realms just popped up. Initially, it was like the Harry Potter scence in the last movie..where Harry talks to Dumbledore in the dream state. 

From there..I dove into various emotional states, such as anger, joy etc. with Reiki surging through me. Yes the “enlightened” negative points jumped up..I had to do balance work which then went into dissolving into ambiguity.