#mediioxumate

Somewhere in Iowa, between the endless cornfields and Des Moines (a city that Shorter isn’t convinced actually exists, after how long they’ve been driving without actually fucking getting there), they stop for gas.

Max fills up the tank, Ash goes to stretch his legs--prowling like an angry cat around the perimeter of the parking lot--and Ibe decides to head to the strip mall next door to grab them sandwiches. Shorter still has no idea how he’s already memorized everyone’s Subway order. It’s either impressive or really sad. Maybe both.

That leaves Shorter and Eiji on snack duty, inside the gas station. Shorter ate the last gummy worm somewhere around Iowa City, and Ash has been giving him the stink-eye ever since. Gotta get back in his best friend’s good graces, yo.

And Eiji’s been... off, today. Gotta keep an eye on the lil buddy! He drapes an arm around Eiji’s shoulders and steers him towards the junk food aisle, where they belong. The cashier gives him a look, but he’s used to that--tall guy, piercings and shades, purple hair, not white. Everyone gives him funny looks.

Whatever. Time to test the waters. “Hey, Eiji. You wanna get sour cream ‘n’ onion Ruffles or the cheddar ones?” 

Eiji bites his lip. “Do you know which one Ash prefers?”

So it’s about Ash. “He’s cheddar all the way.”

Eiji picks up the cheddar chips without a second thought. “Okay.” He hesitates, looking around, then hangs his head and sighs. “Sorry. I am acting weird, am... aren’t I? Is--is it ‘aren’t’ there? Why not ‘amn’t’? Does that just sound too stupid?”

“It’s ‘aren’t’, because English sucks,” Shorter confirms. “And it’s fine, seriously. D’you wanna talk about it?”

Eiji shrugs, muted and resigned. “I just... feel bad that all I have really done for Ash is get in his way and mess things up. So if I can at least get his favorite snacks, that is better than nothing. At least I can be worth something.”

All he’s done...? No, that’s bullshit. This boy stared down a gun in his face and told Arthur to fuck off. For a total civvie, that’s incredible. Most wouldn’t keep their heads in a hostage situation like that.

Shorter takes him by the shoulders. “You listen to me, Eiji. Not only have you done way more than ‘get in the way’ or ‘mess things up’, but also you are incredible and amazing and worth so much, okay? You’re doing your best and you’re a good dude.”

Eiji looks startled, and then Shorter gets to see it--the softest little smile blooming on his face. “You really think so?”

“I know so,” Shorter says, and taps the side of his own head. “Knowledge. I’m full of it.”

@mediioxumate sent:

“I love you so much. You have no idea.” Kazuichi breathes the words out, barely audible. He's visited Gundham countless times now, and every time he's asleep, back turned to the door. More and more often he finds himself curled up in the chair next to Gundham's bedside for hours, hoping the other will wake up - but he never does.

He knows he can’t go on feigning sleep every time Kazuichi is around, knows he has to face him eventually, but he’s not ready. Next time, he tells himself. I’ll speak to him next time. And when next time inevitably rolls around and he hears Kazuichi approaching his hospital room, he hastily pretends to be asleep again.

Sometimes Kazuichi sits by his bed for hours and Gundham listens to his breathing. Sometimes he thinks he can hear Kazuichi crying softly. He imagines opening his eyes, turning to face Kazuichi. Reaching out to touch his calloused hands. To pull him onto the bed beside him and curl up around him. Inhale his scent of oil and body spray and let his body warm him.

It’s not right that he should be dreaming of those days. They were different people back then and Gundham would be more than happy to wipe his Remnant self from his memory forever, if not for those moments with Kazuichi. He doesn’t remember a lot, just flashes of it. But more and more come back to him every day. The way he taunted Kazuichi when he was set the task of guarding him. The way Kazuichi gripped him by the hips, by the back of his neck, by the hair. His teeth against his neck. And the gentler touches. Kazuichi’s fingers running through his hair, stroking his cheek...

Gundham bites his lip as a sob wells up in his throat. If just those tiny flashes of memory are capable of inducing this much pain in his chest, what will happen when he actually looks at Kazuichi?? Speaks to him??

He can’t face that yet. He’s not ready.

He wills himself to fall asleep for real. To drift off and not have to deal with this agony, and when he wakes up Kazuichi will be gone. But he’s never been capable of falling asleep so easily, and now that sleep brings him murky nightmares full of blood and violence he actively avoids it. And with Kazuichi so close to him, close enough that Gundham could touch him if only he could bring himself to turn over and reach across the gap between the hospital bed and the chair, he knows he’ll never sleep.

So he lies in silence, keeping his body still, his eyes closed, and his breathing steady through sheer force of will. He’s spent his whole life pretending, this is nothing...

‘I love you so much. You have no idea.’

Gundham’s eyes snap open. If he wasn’t facing away from Kazuichi he would have revealed himself immediately. As it is, his breath hitches a little in his throat, another sob wanting to rip itself free.

Why did he say that?? Why would he?? How could he possibly...?? After everything?? Does Kazuichi even know who he is anymore?? Does he know who Kazuichi really is?? 

Gundham’s remaining functioning eye stings and his vision blurs as tears well. He doesn’t know how much longer he can stand this. His breathing becomes uneven in his efforts to withhold his tears and he prays Kazuichi has not noticed. He bites his lower lip again, tastes blood, and bites down harder.

After an agonisingly long time, the chair creaks as Kazuichi gets to his feet.

Speak to him, Gundham’s mind screams at him. Speak to him now, before he leaves. He’s not going to keep coming back forever, if you don’t say something soon you’re going to lose him.

He remains still, closing his eyes again, just in case. Listens to Kazuichi’s soft footsteps retreating, getting further and further away from him. The sound of the door opening and then swinging closed.

😁 ; Have you made any friends since creating your blog??

    nope!! none at all on this blog which is so sad to admit. i made pals on dearleader tho!! 

😳 ; What is something or someone you have always wanted to write with?? i.e. a particular plot, a character, etc.

    i’ve always wanted to write with a shinji so that’s checked off the list now oderfngvijdfvo other than that, i’m not super sure. i’ve never been one for wishlist stuff. i usually get really into plots when i talk them out with someone else so... i don’t really build them up on my lonesome.

😂 ; What are some similarities between you and your muse??

    fuck idk... why did you pick the two pure ones?? they’re pretty much both angels sefnksenrfvese i guess the three of us are pretty loyal?? i’d kill for my bros. they would too. kaworu and me both love shinji!! does that count?? courier and me both love red scarves??

🤔 ; What are some differences between you and your muse?? (courier oooor kaworu!!)

    okay much easier.

    courier

somehow puts up with people, i could never

can fake a smile even when he’s uncomfortable, i could also never

sword skills, i’ve got very basic knife skills

    kaworu

so fucking determined it’s frightening, i’m determined in a sense but not like him

he’s pure angel boy, i’m pure evil demon person

The man, the myth, the legend sanada akihiko is a genius.  He’s a genius and a kind, loving, STRONG soul.  And at the moment, he’s hiding under the SEES dorm’s communal dining table.  

now, you’re probably wondering how he got into this situation.  the answer simple as basic algebra: blender plus meat equals trouble; equals a still running appliance and chunks of ‘the good stuff’ still raining down in the kitchen.  and before the man, the myth, etcetera can clean up after himself, shinji returns home.

Ryuji smashes confess–

                        “ sakamoto - kun ?! ”  the surprise is audible in his voice,  eyes wide,  before he takes a moment to clear his throat and put a more neutral expression on.  there  is  a deep blush across his cheeks,  though.

@mediioxumate / ask for metas and i shall deliver

So! Context, Takuto is an empath -- and pretty much has been extremely sensitive to other’s emotions since he was a kid. He was also introduced to a lot of fiction -- books, movies-- as well as history and the news pretty early on. So, he was always attuned towards understanding experiences that were beyond himself -- whether it was made up or real -- whether it was a long time ago or if it was currently happening. And he would get very very emotional, especially if the material was sad or painful.

And for history specifically, there is no barrier for him. To put it in another way, the emotions and pain that was felt long ago, feel just as real to him as his own pain, and feel as real as tonight’s news. Time means nothing to him. Even the dry-est and matter of fact historical writing can bring him to tears if it is describing a horrible event. Because like everything else -- he can’t control it when his brain transports him and puts himself in that situation. He becomes those people he reads about and watches -- and he feels everything they might’ve felt.

The worst visceral historical events of destruction (like pompeii or hiroshima and nagasaki or the holocaust) have actually scarred him. He can’t see images of anything like this without having a very physical reaction. 

I feel like just way too many people have been agreeing with me tonight, so since I’m a very picky bastard when it comes to video game writing, let’s fire off three actually controversial things!

NDRV3′s ending is hot garbage. If you’ve been there, you know.

YTTD’s Chapter 2, Part 2 undid so much good character development and it made me hella sad. Everyone deserved better. Haven’t gotten into Chapter 3 yet, and honestly, I don’t think I ever will.

the Meme || accepting 

Do I Follow Them??: of course!! if you’re not following jo then you’re a damn foolWhy Did I Follow Them??: they followed me first so i checked out their blog, seen lots of kaito and immediately followed them bC I NEED KAITO IN MY LIIIIIIFE. then i cried when i seen they roleplayed many other danganronpa characters. i was Blessed that day. Do We Role Play??: yesssss!! we’ve just started and i’m already so emotional about it all. i love their kaito and i’m excited to possibly plot with some of their other muses too!!Do I Want To Role Play With Them: if i didn’t Want to roleplay with them i wouldn’t be roleplaying with them. so yes. very very yes. An AU Idea For Our Muses: we’ve already discussed it a liiiiittle bit so this is a total cop-out but college au. where they end up being flatmates and they aren’t particularly friendly with each other for a while. they could be there to witness each other fucking panicking over exams and assignments, their first real heartbreaks, starting a fire in their shitty kitchen and screaming like idiots. but they go from a rocky start to sloooowly falling for each other and just ierugonswBFIEJNSOFIBGOSERFGIOV they can be Happy. A Song For Our Muses: i’ve got a playlist for them so… here you go. hold yourself up higher and higheri’mma find the things you wanna sayi’ve heard ‘em all now and you’re fakeyou’re such a liarmy favourite liarfavourite liar || the wrecks