So Iâm like super fucking thankful for aca because I now qualify for medicaid (even though my state was all âthanks but no thanksâ for a few years before they took the federal funding), especially because it means Iâm getting treated for all the stuff thats wrong with me instead of JUST mental health stuff (nothing to sneeze at)
This includes getting a CPAP machine
But itâs stressing me out. Â
Firstly, Iâm havign trouble finding a mask that fits me well.  Honestly at this point I really think it might be because Iâm not a âstickyâ person and  I know that the mask doesnât really âstickâ to you but I think thereâs some little bit of.. i donât know how to describe it, but you press it to your face and the straps hold it there and it forms a seal, and I think maybe my skin just doesnât like to form that seal?  And Iâve tried 3 other masks and I canât try another one till medicaid pays for it next year and just ugh.  Current mask seems OK but Iâm extra paranoid bc I had another mask that worked great the first few days and then was just UGH.
ADDITIONALLY, medicaid doesnât pay to buy me a machine, they just rent it (which I get, probably costs them more money in the long run for people like ME but for people who are only temporarily on medicaid or who donât use it, its prob money-saving), and they also take monthly data downloads to check my compliance (WHICH I FUCKING HATE THE WORD OMG), and it has to be 70% or they take away the machine... and that apparently translates to 4 hrs per night total (because they have no way of knowing how much I actually sleep they just do the math of how much an average person sleeps I guess?) and now Iâm all paranoid that Iâm going to have a rash of insomnia and not meet the minimum and Ugh I just UGHHH
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But restarting my meds and getting them back into my system makes me extremely ill, and I can't. I'm so tired and I can't sleep, I'm so hungry and I can't eat, I'm so restless, but I can hardly get up to walk to the bathroom and back to my bed. I can't wait for this to be over. Hopefully just one more week of this. Stupid insurance not covering it, forcing my doctor to have to order samples for me, which took about a month(not her fault at all. She's working on an appeal with the insurance company.) Why do they have to be so heartless? Is it because I'm on Medicaid? Because I'm disabled? Not worthy of their money because of that? At least my family and doctors care. Fuck the insurance company, and fuck the government for this.