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My conflicting OTPs have turned into a polyship again because I'm insane.
Thank you to @junnie133 for the blank template
Many MANY thoughts about them under the cut
If this somehow isn't enough yapping for you, please send me mediawings asks. Please they are taking over my brain.
2-on-2 dynamics
Radiomoth: Shockingly docile! Alastor has made his lack of desire for anything physical very clear. Val doesn't pursue it more out of not wanting to waste the effort rather than actually respecting his boundaries but he leaves it alone regardless (most of the time). Alastor's immune to his aphrodisiac anyway and could absolutely eviscerate Valentino if he tried anything so it doesn't matter.
If left alone together they'll just…talk. Both of them love the sound of their own voice but they also know how to have basic listening skills. Sometimes it's a frustrating vent to just get bullshit off their chest, sometimes Val pesters Alastor about his history with Vox, hungry for old embarrassing gossip. Sometimes Alastor asks for a little spilled tea in turn for a little laugh.
Their best nights are after a few drinks and a smoke. Alastor settles enough to be comfortable resting his head in Val's lap or letting him scratch his ears. Their conversations will drag into something…introspective, almost melancholic. Alastor doesn't find modern labels helpful but there's still a lot he never figured out about himself. Val having so much experience being openly queer helps soothe that screaming inner voice that cares about abiding by norms and strict binaries. It's impressive how emotionally intelligent Valentino can be when he's not throwing himself into shit fits at every minor inconvenience. Alastor likes to think he helps curtail that at least a little.
Radiostatic: These two are the hardest corner to get into something… manageable. They used to be, Val will constantly remind them as much, but after so many decades with hurt feelings driving their impulses it's hard to just put it all down and enjoy their new norm. They're easily the two that bicker the most, both of them easy to rile up and hard to settle back down. But…that kind of becomes the fun of it.
They don't turn lovey dovey overnight, or ever really, but every once in a while the arguing will give way to reality. The only reason they CAN argue is because they're back in each other's lives. It hits more often for Vox than Alastor but it is infectious to a degree. Alastor will feel that slight jolt on his own signal waves, Vox's antennae bobbing around as he makes his good mood known in a language only the two of them have. To an outside observer they haven't changed from when they were trying to kill each other, but that's only because they both have too much pride to say what they feel with words.
Radioapple: Like with Vox, Alastor had a lot of existing tension with Lucifer. Although instead of it stemming from decades of simmering hurt, they just got on each other's nerves…because. It went from a genuine distaste for the other to a game of sorts fairly quickly. They found it funny to piss each other off in petty little pranks and one ups. Once the facade finally broke, when a string of back and forths devolved to good natured laughs, well they couldn't put the toothpaste back in the tube.
Soon Alastor was showing genuine interest in Lucifer's cheesy, weirdly avian themed, musicals. Alastor was introducing the reclusive king to only the best music from his own time and learning how to manage Lucifer's two left feet when they got too invested in it and started to sway together.
The Morningstar's have a dreadful power lurking inside them, you see. They're irresistibly cute, Lucifer especially. Stumbling around adorably or staring up at Alastor with those big sweet eyes has a 50/50 chance at caving to his whims or flicking him directly between the eyes and one is starting to win out more than the other these days.
Staticapple: They didn't start on the best foot, or continue on one for that matter. Lucifer's tendency to forget names did horrid things to Vox's ego but unlike with Alastor, Lucifer actually had a very quick way to quell him.
Lucifer, you see, had created sharks.
All of them.
Every shark.
From that point Vox was SAT. He didn't give a shit about anything else, he needed to know every prehistoric shark fact Lucifer could remember. Half of them were bullshit but that was only because Lucifer's memory was really that bad. What? It was millennia ago, he couldn't remember everything! Vox, however, could remember much of the evolutionary progress sharks had made since he'd been tossed down here and was more than happy to share his wealth of knowledge on the subject. It was on this day they collectively became the most annoying part of the polycule.
The two of them were a perfect match really, not just dreamers but doers, innovators, geniuses, and severely autistic about their subjects of choice. They seek each other out when they need to YAP. Alastor and Val can barely tolerate a few minutes but the two of them uninterrupted can go for hours. Fun facts, new ideas, weird hypotheticals that they will very passionately argue about even though none of that shit is real. They're insufferable and it's the greatest thing that ever happened to either of them.
Staticmoth: Even before all four of them got together they were pretty physical, and whether Vox's emotional constipation allowed him to admit it or not, that kind of history came with a lot of trust. They know how to make each other feel good, but they also know when the other has been at their desk for too long, or could use a proper meal. They know the small signs that their day had been shit and could use some pampering, usually having to nudge the other two to get them to notice it. What do you mean "how can you tell"? Val's antenna is wilted towards his face instead of away from it. How is that NOT obvious??
It's less what they are together but what being in a larger relationship has done for them. Lucifer got Vox used to being a bit more openly affectionate. Alastor talked enough sense into Val to get him to be upfront with the fact that YES! Of course he's wanted an actual relationship! Yes, this entire time, you idiot!
They're both making up for a lot of lost time with their egos taken down enough to admit they love each other but at least a lot of that time still involves the loudest, dirtiest sex they can get up to.
Applemoth: Fuck- how can the king of Hell be so fucking cute?? He's so fucking small Valentino cannot remotely resist the urge to pick him up like a particularly tempting pet cat just minding its business. Lucifer could be in the middle of a conversation, or enjoying his morning coffee, or reading, and all of sudden he's still doing those things but lifted several feet off the ground as Val's impulses win out. It was startling at first but Lucifer is a touch starved man, having three big boyfriends was already great, but the biggest of them all wanting to snuggle him at almost all times isn't something he would ever turn down.
Of course, it is still Valentino. He'll almost always start nibbling at Lulu's neck or wander a hand near his belt. Sometimes he gets swatted off, sometimes he gets teleported somewhere private before anyone notices (as if a sudden bright flash of smoke hadn't become as universal a sign as a tie around a doorknob).
Outside of that though, Val and Lu also bond over their art. They're both creatives at heart and it isn't uncommon for them to gift each other hand made pieces or ask the other for feedback. Lucifer's bright duck room is full of many more sultry portraits than it used to be and Val has a quickly growing pile of custom rubber ducks in one of his drawers. Sometimes he'll just open it and giggle at the sight. It's fucking ridiculous but knowing they were all there because Lucifer was thinking of him still makes the romantic in him swoon.
Details about the template and other stuff
-Val still hasn't mentioned how young he was when he died, not even in all the decades he's known Vox. It's just not a detail that's ever come up…
-Lucifer leans towards he/him pronouns the most but sometimes switches around his preferences on whim. It drives Vox insane because he always manages to guess wrong. Alastor only gets thrown off if it's a neopronoun he is convinced Lucifer made up on the spot to fuck with him.
-Yes, they have ALL used the business partners excuse before at least once before they put their egos/anxiety down enough to admit they were dating.
-Valentino was the catalyst to the entire polycule. It started as a plot to get Vox and Alastor to chill so Vox would stop crashing out over their falling out but it spiraled into them all dating each other very quickly.
-Alastor is the only one that genuinely wakes up early, the other three rotate joining him because at least one of them hasn't gone to bed yet on any given morning. Lucifer loses track of time in a project, Vox gives up if he can't fall asleep and finds random things to occupy himself, and Val stumbles home wasted from the club.
-Val is still open with other people. The other three are exclusive to their relationship but don't mind that Val has sex with other people. If anything it's a blessing if none of them are fully recovered enough to handle his libido again.
-Wanting kids is a complete hypothetical. Val and Lucifer just go into very rare baby crazy fits when they're drunk and end up sobbing about how cute it would be.
-All of them are needy bitches. Val is just the only one that vocally whines for attention. The rest ask for it by trying to piss the others off or refusing to leave them alone.
-Alastor has tricked them into eating sinner meat before and they didn't know until long after the fact. He refuses to tell them which instance where he cooked for them it was and they haven't trusted him since.
-Lucifer somehow got all of them invested in his weird duck soap operas. Val cries over it with him while Alastor and Vox argue about how illogical the characters are being.
-Velvette is this close to declaring herself homophobic. She is sick of their shit.
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Chores were always such a bothersome thing. Necessary, but bothersome.
So much time kept on upkeep and tidying, the only reward being the opportunity to do it all over again when the dust and dirt appeared once more. Personal maintenance could at least come with some self satisfaction, a nice clean feeling in your space and self, temporary as it was. But for Alastor...
He'd been minding his own business, engrossed in a novel with a soft jazz number filling the silence on the radio. With a sharp feedback squeal he was thrown forward, weight on his back that was quickly snagged in inky tendrils and yanked off. Sitting in his grasp was Lucifer, limbs limp and useless as he stared at Alastor with a pathetic pout on his lip.
"Do you mind?" His patience was already thinning.
"Uhh, yeah, I do. I need your help." Lucifer was practically whining like an indignant cat. He flared his six wings out wider to draw attention to the disjointed and matted feathers, some of the wings giving a small flick to try and dissuade the itching feeling in them. Molting season.
"It's happening again!"
"And?"
"It's so itchy!"
"Sounds like something that isn't my problem."
"Come on Bambi, pleeeease?? No one else is as good at it as you!"
"Stroking my ego isn't going to help you, my dear."
"Bullshit, just help me already!"
Alastor's ear flicked, as much as Lucifer's sorry state was an entertaining sight, it was an irritating sound. All the whining and flapping and squirming was hardly enjoyable for long. The tentacles holding the pathetic mess that was the eternal king of Hell sank back into the floor, Lucifer in tow as he was submerged in the shadowy puddle on the floor with a cut off yelp. He reappeared in his own bedroom, surrounded by his wrinkled, unmade bedding and countless rubber duck toys. Alastor followed a beat later, taking shape from a dark corner of the room and approaching the bed with a slight grimace.
Lucifer grinned, and laid down on his stomach, wings fanning out on either side. "I knew you loved me~"
"Another word out of you and I leave." Alastor removed his coat and rolled up his sleeves, his sentient shadow quick to take the garment and return with his grooming kit in exchange. He honestly would have expected an angel to be above something as pedestrian and irritating as a molt. Whether that was part of his punishment or a constant of the universe even God couldn't change, it was impossible to tell.
Nonetheless Alastor took his place on the bed, gently folding and tilting each of Lucifer's wings to brush them out and pluck the dead feathers that only held on being so tangled up in the rest of them. By the time he was only halfway through, Lucifer had practically melted into his sheets. The gentle care of the radio demon's claws as he picked through each wing and gave the itchy pin feathers a few reprieving scratches that left him nearly ready to fall asleep. Still, he picked up the wings on his opposite side as a reminder. Alastor wasn't getting out of doing the rest of it.
He was nearly finished when the loud click of heels echoed from beyond the door, fast approaching like an oncoming threat. Of all the fucking days-
The door burst open, nearly getting thrown off its hinges as Valentino stormed in "Ay, ya no puedo con este! Inútil pinche hijo de puta! Que te matar a su familia!" Alastor stilled his hands to let the taller man fall on the bed in a dramatic fit, the neat pile of dead feathers he'd been keeping scattering in an instant.
Alastor wouldn't call himself fluent in Spanish but an exact translation was hardly necessary. "Bad day at work, I take it?"
Valentino whined into Lucifer's egregious amount of pillows, the bed barely long enough that his body wasn't draping off it. "I spent all day trying to keep these dumb whores in check and THEN this guy- OH this fucking guy-!"
"For fucks sake- Val it wasn't that big of a deal."
Alastor tried to resist grinning wider at the other voice in the doorway. Famous last words, Vincent.
"You don't get it Vox!"
"He just asked about your wardrobe fitting for-"
"Calling me fat! Where the fuck did he get off doing that!? And I still had to be in the studio for six hours after that!"
"It would have been shorter if you didn't tear your stagehands to shit over one question..."
Val whined and turned his attention to Lucifer and Alastor beside him with another pitiful look. A bait for attention that Lucifer quickly took, sitting up to coax his head into his lap. "Aw, Butterfly, don't listen to that moron; you're gorgeous, and I bet that guy completely deserved it."
The moth's antenna only wilted further. "Well now I know you're full of shit. I'm a mess right now..." For once he wasn't being entirely dramatic. The heavy fur around his collar was matted with blood in places and ruffled into a mess, the smaller hearts patterned into it were barely legible. Of course that was still attached to an elegant figure any self conscious sinner would kill to have but Alastor was smart enough to hold his tongue.
"What's with all the feathers anyway?" Vox brushed a few of them aside as he approached the bed with the rest of them, making an even larger mess.
"It seems our dear king is molting off some old feathers. Now if you'll excuse me-"
"Waaait, why does Lulu get all the attention? I'm the one that had a shit day!" Valentino whined indignantly. "If there's any time I need pampering it's right now!" Valentino believed he needed to be pampered all of the time, but that was beside the point.
"Well, Boxy could help clean you up while Bambi finishes up with me," Lucifer posited.
"Ugh, Voxxy's too rough! It's great in bed, but my fur is sensitive. I don't need him ripping it out trying to comb it. I want Alastor to do it..." he whined.
"Asshole, I'm right here!" Vox crossed his arms as he stood at the foot of the bed.
Valentino scoffed, "What? It's true!"
Children, all of them.
Alastor let out a static-tinged growl to quiet their bickering and get their attention. "Enough, I can only do so much at once. Valentino, darling, why not let yourself get comfortable and finish airing out your grievances from today while I groom the rest of these feathers. THEN, I may tend to you. You can do that at much at least, can't you, mon mouche?"
A traitorous smile made it's way onto Valentino's blushing face but he still managed another whine. "No fair, you know I can't resist when you start talking sexy like that..." At least it wasn't difficult to get the little bug to behave.
"Well- ah- here Val, lemme get you out of those heels for you. I'm sure your feet are just killing you at this point." And his shot ricocheted into Vox's sensitive pride. How convenient.
Alastor busied himself again with Lucifer's tarnished wings while Vox continued playing with his mental scoreboard of who was being the better partner. Lucifer, in turn, listened to Valentino's petty gossip and put some validating band-aids on his ego. It wasn't long before Alastor went from a lap full of feathers to a lap full of fluff, meticulously combing and spot cleaning the fur as Valentino nuzzled into his thighs.
"You're so sweet to me Cariño... you too Voxxy." The quick damage control was hardly anything but Vox was needy enough to take it anyway as he toiled away massaging Valentino's back.
"Feeling better already, I take it..." Lucifer smiled from his place flopped into his pillows, sleek wings spread out on either side to enjoy the lack of irritation in them. Valentino simply hummed, his small noises of relaxation and relief too sexual in tone for Alastor's liking but he'd tolerate it if those hands continued to keep to themselves.
With his joints soothed and fur groomed, Valentino joined Lucifer in uselessly sprawling out on the bed. Alastor tried not to look too irritated at all the small white strands clinging to his dark pants as he attempted to sweep them off with his hand.
Vox, having run out of distractions shifted closer to him, leaning in with a tight and baiting smile on his screen. "So, any chance I get a little TLC with you too, Al?"
Alastor hummed, ears tilting back and forth as he considered his options. "Alright."
"Fuck- really??"
Eager dog.
"Yes. You know, I think I have just the thing...." Alastor mused and rooted through his grooming kit as Vox inched himself more and more into his personal space. He produced a small spray bottle of glass cleaner and did not hesitate to start relentlessly spraying Vox directly in the face. The TV was quick to yelp and attempt to shield himself, verbal complaints only receiving a spray directly inside his mouth in response.
"KHWK- Hhkaghk-!! Fu- hkrck! You assh-nmhf!" Vox's coughing fit was quickly muffled as Alastor smothered his face with a microfiber cloth, vigorously wiping back and forth even as Vox's arms blindly flailed to try and force him off.
"There we are, no more dirt and grime on that silly screen of yours. Satisfied?" Alastor smiled sweetly as he packed away his tools. Not to toot his own horn but Vox's screen did look much better now. Judging by the lack of bitching coming from his mouth, he seemed to agree.
That brief moment of peace was interrupted by a cheeky, intrigued hum from Valentino. Lucifer noticed it and tilted his head to quietly press for an explanation. One pointed finger in Vox's direction and Lucifer perked up.
"Ooooh~" he teased.
"Wh- what??" Vox looked back and forth, trying to figure out what was making him look like such a fool.
"Did that seriously make you hard, Voxxy?"
Sure enough, Alastor glanced down before he could reassess if he actually wanted to and Vox's slacks were tenting, something he was already flailing to try and hide.
"I- n-no!! That's not-!!"
"Are you into the rough handling or is it just because he touched you?" Lucifer's tail flicked around lazily, his wicked grin quick to waver into a light hearted giggle with Valentino.
Alastor simply watched as Vox continued to make a fool of himself trying to plead his case. Some people complained about scrubbing floors or washing dishes, but no. Instead Alastor had this. These were his chores; his loud, needy, bothersome chores.
And yet, the permanent smile on his face wasn't something he was fighting.