#med student!reader

The Swiss knife Summary: A few days before you are scheduled to switch to days for the first time...

On daycare duty Summary: Your first day shift...

When the tension finally snaps Summary: After a bad case involving a vet, you find Jack on the roof...

The day after Summary: You ask Jack to have breakfast with you so you could talk about what happened...

Stressing the f*ck out Summary: You try to keep your distance from the rumour mill and Abbot, and you fail spectacularly...

Stress relief Summary: You break your agreement, and bring up the rooftop incident when you make a proposition...

Gaslighting the gossip girls Summary: After getting "caught" going out for breakfast with Jack for a second time, the charge nurses are on your ass about it for days...

A glitch Summary: You sleep in the same bed with Jack for the first time...

Punchline Summary: The new resident can't take no for an answer... (related poll)

Contradictory confession Summary: Jack feels like he has to confess his feelings...

An other day after Summary: You wake up with questions about what's next...

Daddy, zaddy, bratty Summary: You have the chance to mess with the gossipy gambling addicts at the Pitt...

Therapy-induced nightmare Summary: Jack talks to his therapist about his newfound guilt, which led to a dream that felt way too real...

Abbot's Knife Summary: A visiting attending only wants to work with a guy they call "The Knife"... (basically the Grey's Anatomy trope with Bailey from s02)

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You know better, babe, you know better, babe

Than to look at it, look at it like that

You looked out of the window of your new home for the first time. It wasn't the first time you'd been there. As a child you would visit occasionally with your mom, but you were never allowed to leave the living room. That felt like a lifetime away. Now you're twenty nine, and being back felt odd. It was your uncle's house originally. But when your uncle died it was left to your mother, who almost sold it. You were able to convince your mom that you could take it over, so she wouldn't have to deal with it. You needed a place of your own that wasn't falling apart but it was hard to find anything in your budget. Being in your last year of med school isn't very lucrative.

Letting the sheer curtains fall back into place covering the bedroom window, you turn around, taking a good look at all the boxes that still needed unpacking. A weak sigh left you as you drop down onto the edge of the bare mattress. After classes all day there was no energy left to deal with anything but going to bed and it wasn't even dark out yet. Just a nice orange starting to over take the blue in the sky.

"You know what, I deserve a little treat for today," you mumbled to yourself. Getting up from the bed and heading down the stairs, grabbing the car keys from the kitchen counter and leaving the house.

As you stepped out the front door you heard a fight off to the side, at the neighbors house. Now you know you shouldn't be nosy. You know damn well nobody likes strangers in their business, you don't like strangers in your business. But you couldn't help yourself. You had to make sure no one needed help. You're becoming a doctor for a reason for god sake. And your self preservation was just slightly lacking.

"I won't go all peeping tom, just, check on whoever's over there if they're visible," You murmured. Yeah maybe you had a habit of talking to yourself but, like, everyone does that. Right?

Your neighbors have a good size fence for a reason obviously. And it's not like you wanna know what they do everyday, but the fighting just sounds so close to your house.

As you turn the corner off the porch, you can see four guys. Two of which are fighting, throwing insults and pushing each other around. The other two are standing off to the side.

One of the guys off to the side has his hand on his hips watching, an annoyed look on his face.

Maybe this is normal for them? You think. God you hope this isn't normal.

The other man that is off to the side has his arms straight at his sides. A very blank look on his face. A very striking face you noticed. His hair was cut close to his scalp and he seemed to have a very awkward stance. Like he didn't quite like being out in the open.

Your gaze was stuck on him. The fight was no longer interesting, nor was the man beside the one your eyes had locked in on. You watched him, until suddenly he was watching you.

Trying to ease the tension that comes from being stared at intensely, you smiled. Something soft and warm. Eyes squinting up and crinkling at the sides.

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God did that do something to Andrew. He felt something in his chest, like her hand had reached out and plucked a string there. He couldn't decide on what that was yet, but he knew he'd like to figure out why it was happening or if he even liked it.

It was seconds after Andrew moved his head to look her in the eyes that Baz caught sight of her too.

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The man with the annoyed look on his face jumped into action, breaking up the fight and whispering something to two other men that you couldn't hear. They whipped their heads around to look at you.

"I'm so sorry, I don't mean to be nosy, I just heard a scuffle and wanted to make sure everyone was alright," you spoke, hoping that it would placate the four pairs of eyes burning into you.

The man who broke up the fight clears his throat.

"It's alright, they were just having a brotherly conversation, nothing to worry about. I didn't realize someone took over this house, my name's Baz by the way," the man, Baz, introduced himself.

Ah so they're brothers…this is totally going to be an everyday thing isn't it, you thought.

"Oh! ok," you gave a breathy chuckle, then introduced yourself. "I just moved in, it was my uncle's place, but he left it to my mom when he passed. I moved in so I could be closer to the hospital during med school and through residency." Man, you need to stop over sharing with strangers.

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All Andrew could focus on was the sound of her voice. It seemed to scratch an itch in his brain he didn't know he had. Comforting in a way he hasn't ever experienced. He just met her, he hasn't even said a word to her.

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You noticed that the man with very short hair hadn't stopped staring you down. It felt like he was picking you apart. But when you really looked into his eyes, you could see a sadness to them. You minored in psychology in pre med, and recently came off a psych rotation, you'd gotten very good at noticing that in people. You knew when someone was troubled. Actually all four seemed off, but he looked especially sad. Tortured even.

The way the whole group watched you made you feel like you'd walked into their goddamn living room, instead of standing on your own porch, with them basically toeing the property line.

"Well anyway like I said, I'm sorry for being nosy, I'll leave you guys to your 'brotherly conversation'," you said.

Then you turned around and walked to your car. Getting in and heading to explore a bit and try to find some place to treat yourself. Hopefully they'll have it all figured out and finished when you get back.

ੈ✩‧₊˚༺☆༻ੈ✩‧₊˚ੈ✩‧₊˚༺☆༻ੈ✩‧₊˚ੈ✩‧₊

You know better, babe, you know better, babe

Than to talk to it, talk to it like that

The sun is just starting to rise when you pull into your driveway. Exhausted, just getting off a shift at the hospital. You just have to remind yourself that even though working as a RN to help pay for med school means lots of late nights, it's going to look great on your CV when you're applying for residency spots.

You couldn't wait to get out of your scrubs, take a boiling hot shower to get rid of the hospital feel, and collapse into bed.

But as you got out of the car you caught sight of the short haired man from a few days ago. He was walking down the sidewalk, maybe heading home. You also caught sight of the large gash on his forehead. As he got closer to your driveway, you knew you needed to at least try to help him out.

"Hey," you called gently, so you wouldn't spook him. He seems tense and on edge already. "are you ok?"

Andrew paused at your voice. Turning towards you, he gave a slight nod.

"Um, do you want some help with your cut? I have some stuff in my house, I can patch it up?" you ask.

He seemed to fully still, like he didn't know what to do.

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He couldn't answer her, because he couldn't really come up with an answer. Conflict rose in his head. He knows he shouldn't let her, that she might think, because she's helping him she can start asking questions. And if she starts asking questions, Smurf will get involved and he really doesn't want to deal with her getting on his ass more than she already does. But at the same time, he's been enamored with her since he saw her that day Deran and Craig were fighting, and he wondered what her hands on his face would feel like. Would they be as gentle as her voice? Are they as soft as they look? They certainly don't look as callused as his.

"You don't have to come inside, I can bring the stuff I need out here. You can just sit on the porch swing." Her voice interrupted his thoughts.

He nodded again.

This could be ok, being out in the open. She won't have time to try to dig for answers about what happened.

ੈ✩‧₊˚༺☆༻ੈ✩‧₊˚ੈ✩‧₊˚༺☆༻ੈ✩‧₊˚ੈ✩‧₊

Don't give it a hand, offer it a soul

Honey, make this easy

Leave it to the land, this is what it knows

Honey, that's how it sleeps

You offered your hand for him to take, reintroducing yourself.

"I remember." he spoke, low and gravely. He didn't seem to be much of a talker, but maybe he was just shy around new people.

He let you take his hand and lead him to your porch swing, where he sat down.

"Right." you said with a small smile. "you just stay here and ill be right back ok?"

He nodded his head and you headed into the house.

Once you got inside the house you put your bag down quickly. Tossing your car keys onto the kitchen counter, you started running around trying to find everything you needed. First to the hall closet for the first aid kit. Also, two washcloths. Then you went back to the kitchen, grabbing a bottle of water from the fridge and getting one of the washcloths damp with warm water. At the last second you grab a snack from off the counter, just in case. Your mom always taught you to feed your guests. and he looks like the type of man to just not eat when he's supposed to.

ੈ✩‧₊˚༺☆༻ੈ✩‧₊˚ੈ✩‧₊˚༺☆༻ੈ✩‧₊˚ੈ✩‧₊

Don't let it in with no intention to keep it

Jesus Christ, don't be kind to it

Honey, don't feed it, it will come back

Once you get back out to the porch you set all the supplies down beside the man on the swing.

"Here, I brought you some water and a little snack," you say as you go to hand him the water bottle and snack.

"I'm good, thanks," he said.

"Please? I'd hate to start patching you up just for you to pass out from low blood sugar or dehydration, I'd have to start all over again," with a slight chuckle you try reasoning with him. "At least just the water if you don't want the snack."

"Ok." he nodded, taking the water and snack.

You watch as he opens the bottle and takes a sip, before moving to stand in front of him and start cleaning the gash on his head. Gently wiping around the wound with the warm washcloth.

"You know you never told me your name," you spoke softly, picking up the dry cloth to make sure the bandages would stick to his cleaned skin. His eyes flick up towards your face.

"Andrew," he replied after a bit.

"Andrew… hmm, that's a nice name. Did you know that it comes from the ancient Greek word 'andreios'? it means masculine or manly." you say with a smile. " I think it suits you."

his eyes flicked up to you, but he didn't say anything.

This is what you get for being a weirdo who took odd classes in undergrad, you thought to yourself. Stupid fucking electives, should've done another bio class like a normal person.

With the wound finally clean and dry, you could more accurately assess how bad it is. Which is not bad, it's not horribly deep. Two little butterfly stitches will fix it.

"Ok so the cut is not too bad, I'm just going to put two little butterfly stitches on it, that will hold it together." you inform Andrew.

He gave you a nod again. Like you thought, not much of a talker. Unwrapping the first stitch, you get it ready and gently pinch the edge of the wound closed, sticking the stitch in place and moving onto the next.

Now that both stitches were in place and it looked good to you, you took a slight step back.

"Don't get the cut or stitches wet for like 24 hours, after that you'll be fine getting it wet, just don't like scrub at it. And pat it dry, don't get towel fibers stuck to it." you tell him.

"Oh! and here's my number," you quickly pull out your tiny notebook and a pen from their respective spots in your scrub pockets and jot down your number and name and then rip it out of the book handing him the paper. "if you need anything, or if your cut gets worse or you know… anything like that. Just shoot me a text in case I'm at work or in class."

Andrew gently took the paper from your hands, standing up at the same time. giving you a tight nod and a small smile. He's got a very cute smile, you think.

You quickly realize that you're standing quite close to him and step back further, allowing him to start to leave.

"Thank you," he said, his head turned towards you as he walked off the porch.

"No problem!" you called after him, watching as he made his way to his house. Then you turned around and went inside. A hot shower and your bed calling your name.

ੈ✩‧₊˚༺☆༻ੈ✩‧₊˚ੈ✩‧₊˚༺☆༻ੈ✩‧₊˚ੈ✩‧₊

You know better, babe, you know better, babe

Than to smile at me, smile at me like that

You know better, babe, you know better, babe

Than to hold me just, hold me just like that

Two days.

Two days was all it took before Andrew was craving your touch again.

So he texted the number you wrote down. not really something he usually does, but something about you was making him latch on. He spent his time alone in his motel room, the one he was delegated to since smurf put J in his room at the Cody house and sold his place while he was in prison. Sitting ramrod straight at the end of the bed. Normally he would be thinking of jobs, ways to get back in Smurfs good graces, how to test J to make sure he was trustworthy, etc.. But ever since he saw you during some stupid fight between his brothers and then again when you fixed his cut and gave him a snack, his thoughts have been consumed by you.

By your smile.

By your voice.

By the way you look at him, not through him. Like he's a person, not a monster or a tool to use and throw away.

How you helped him with his cut. and not just that but fed him. It may have only been a snack in your eyes, but to him? it was something so much more, it created a feeling in him he couldn't quite place.

so he tried to figure everything out about you he could find. He knows he shouldn't put so much time into learning everything about you, he should be figuring stuff out for Smurf, but he can't help himself. Especially not after a beautiful woman shows him kindness that he's still trying to make sure is genuine. burned a few to many times one might say.

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You really should be more guarded online, Andrew thought. His first search brought up your picture from the hospital you used to work at. The names match so you did give him your real name and probably your real phone number. After that it was all laid out for him, like you wanted him to find everything. Your socials were just your name, public profiles, and a clear picture of your face as the profile picture. Just too easy, in fact it was concerning to Andrew. What if someone worse than him decided they needed you as much as he did? He'll just have to make sure he gets there first.

His minimal effort in finding out who you are is greatly rewarded. He finds out that you're twenty-nine. Where you went to school for undergrad. That you got accepted to medical school at UCSD and that you've been living in shitty apartments for the past three and a half years. that you've been working at the Tri-city ER as an RN for about a year now, previously you had been working at the Naval Medical Center ER.

Your uncle died about two weeks ago. Andrew remembers that day, he'd been back from prison barely a day when an ambulance showed up and took your uncle. who knew what he thought would be such an insignificant part of an otherwise significant day to him would bring him to you. Or more like you to him.

You didn't have many friends, no significant other, far from family. You were born in New York, then lived in California for a few years then moved back to New York where you stayed until going to medical school.

Andrew basically has all the information he really needs. You have no connection to law enforcement agencies, no arrests, hell not even a parking ticket. In fact you were so clean that you could obtain all the permits you need to own a gun in California, and have a firearm registered to you. That's not exactly easy. Any of his worries about not being able to trust you practically vanish. He still won't bring you around his family. He knows exactly how that would go. At least he could worry about you living alone slightly less.

He did all that research yesterday.

Finally his phone dinged, you messaged him back.

He had messaged under the guise that he wanted you to take a look at his cut. Just to make sure he had been handling it correctly.

He knows how to treat his wounds, he's been doing it for a very long time. With no one else to give a shit when he got hurt, he took care of all his bumps and bruises on his own. The only time Smurf stepped in to help beside when he was a young child, was when she needed something.

Your message was bright on his screen. Saying to meet at your house if he was comfortable with that, in twenty minutes.

ੈ✩‧₊˚༺☆༻ੈ✩‧₊˚ੈ✩‧₊˚༺☆༻ੈ✩‧₊˚ੈ✩‧₊

Andrew's text had popped up on your phone late in the morning. It was almost embarrassing how fast you responded, but there was something about him that just drew you in. He was also really pretty so that didn't help.

You had a rare night off and no classes today which meant staying home and doing fucking nothing all day for once. And then of course studying later once the sun went down. Always one to be more productive in the nighttime. With finals coming up you really needed to study.

You had 20 minutes to pick up the house. Which was easy because you honestly didn't have many things to clutter up the place. Having to move from apartment to apartment made you really figure out what you really need in life.

Just as you finished up wiping your kitchen counter down you heard a knock at the front door.

Setting the cloth you were using down and moving to the front door, you open it to see Andrew standing there. Stiff and a little awkward which seems to be how he usually stands.

"Come on in," you say, moving to open the door more and get out of the door frame, gesturing to the rest of the house with your free arm.

As he walked into the space you closed the door behind him and led him to the living room to sit on the couch.

"Ok let me take a look at your cut real quick," you whisper, not wanting to break the peaceful quietness that had developed since the both of you sat on the couch.

He tipped his head towards you and you brought your hands up to rest on his cheeks to move his head as you needed.

He seemed to melt into your hands, reminding you of a shelter dog. He just needs a soft touch and he's sitting at your feet waiting, tail wagging.

"It looks like you've been taking pretty good care of it, no swelling, no excessive redness," you gently prod at the wound with your finger. "it doesn't feel hot either, is it tender when I touch it?"

"No." he responds slowly with a small shake of his head.

"Ok," you say with a smile.

You take your hands off of his face and set them in your lap. And for a minute you both just sit there, in silence, looking at each other.

"Well, I was going to make some lunch if you wanna stay, I've got more than enough," you tell him, hoping that he'll say yes. hoping that he'll stay.

"Yeah I'll stay," he said.

"Ok, you can come sit in the kitchen if you'd like, but you're more than welcome to make yourself comfortable out here," you want him to know he has a choice, that he can be comfortable here. He just looks like a kicked puppy sitting there, scared to touch anything he hasn't been told was ok to touch, back straight as hell. Honestly you're jealous of his posture, you've been known to be compared to a shrimp when you're sitting. Maybe you should look into getting your spine fused.

"I'll just come sit in the kitchen." He mutters, there's a cute dusting of pink on his cheeks.

You shoot him a small smile, because despite the fact that he's definitely blushing he has not stopped staring directly into your eyes. Getting up off the couch, he stands with you and you walk towards the kitchen with him following close behind.

He takes a seat on a stool at the small kitchen island, and when you look back at him you can't help but feel like he belongs there.

Which is an insane thought to have because you just met the man like less than a week ago, but maybe you've always been a hopeless romantic, looking for the "right one" in every man who's taken interest in you. Maybe this will be the one.

You turn your head back to look into the fridge to see what you have to make.

"How about.." you say, dragging your words out, moving some stuff around the fridge to make sure you can see everything, "some pasta and salad? Does that sound ok? I can make some chicken too."

"Yeah that sounds good," he had a smile on his face still. Maybe he was starting to warm up to being in your house. Again, insane thing to think, and a little delusional, he's been here for a total of like ten minutes. But what are you if not a little crazy.

You started pulling what you needed out of the fridge and the seasoning cupboard, setting it all on the counter.

"Do you mind if I put some music on? I hate sitting in complete silence," a slight laugh leaves you when you say it.

He nods, "yeah, yeah I don't mind."

"Any preference?"

"No."

Connecting your phone to the speaker you keep in the kitchen, you click a random playlist that you'd been playing a lot recently. Hozier's voice lightly fills the space. A nice melody and his timber soothing you of any nervousness from having Andrew sitting in your kitchen watching you cook.

After a little while of you cooking and Andrew watching while the music plays, he startles you by speaking.

"So what do you do for work?" he asks.

"oh- um I'm an RN at the hospital, mainly night shift," you check the chicken in the pan as you answer. "I split my time between the psych unit and the ER, both are very rewarding to me. What about you?"

You take a quick look over your shoulder after you ask, taking in the hesitancy on his face.

You knew that he did time in prison. Your self preservation may be lacking a little but you don't have none at all, you have a gun that you're well versed in using, not that you'd like to. Ever. And you may have looked him up.

His, what you assume mother, stopped by yesterday. She came by with some cookies as a way to welcome you to the neighborhood, and introduce herself.

Yeah you could see right through that shit. her body language was aggressive, her wording off, and her voice tight. Everything she said was a thinly veiled threat about minding your own damn business. And while you couldn't quite get a read for who she was from the short interaction, you could tell that she may come with problems if you were to get in her way, however that could happen you guess. Honestly she was great at seeming harmless, but from personal experience and the fact that you have a minor in psych and work in the psych unit, you could see all the tiny signs. All the little things that everyday people may miss. The only really useful thing you got from that interaction, besides cookies (they were delicious, she might be bad news but she's an amazing baker), was their last name. Cody.

You looked him up hoping to find maybe some social media but found an arrest record instead. A bank robbery. Honestly when you first saw the record you thought it would be worse. But the worst thing you found was the fact that he was incarcerated at Folsom. The prison is notorious for its shitty conditions. Johnny Cash made a song about it for a reason. You felt bad for the guy.

And while you could only find the one arrest, that doesn't mean that that was the first time he did something, just the first time he was caught. Who knows what he and his family get up too, with all those expensive toys sitting in their driveway you've caught glimpses of when you head to work. His brothers seem rough too. The first fight was exactly that, the first. At least, the first that you have seen, you've heard them yelling at each other on their own property, covered by the fence.

A bank robbery like that isn't a first time crime, the police records showed some of the evidence. It seemed pretty professional except for the part where Andrew got caught.

"I'm between jobs," he replies, the hesitation bled into his voice. He shifted in his seat.

ੈ✩‧₊˚༺☆༻ੈ✩‧₊˚ੈ✩‧₊˚༺☆༻ੈ✩‧₊˚ੈ✩‧₊

Andrew wasn't sure if he wanted to find out how you would react to him having been to prison. Or the fact that he just got back not that long ago. What would you say about what he'd gotten caught for? Would you yell at him to get out? Block his number? Watch over your shoulder every time you leave your house? Surely you'd see him as a monster like everyone else, nice girls like you tend to get scared by criminals. and that's what he is. A criminal.

ੈ✩‧₊˚༺☆༻ੈ✩‧₊˚ੈ✩‧₊˚༺☆༻ੈ✩‧₊˚ੈ✩‧₊

"Ahh yes, finding jobs is tough here it seems. Have to know the right people, say the right things. It's very tight knit over here," you respond. You don't want to scare him away by just saying 'oh i know, it's hard to find jobs after prison', that would be so shitty of you. He seems so cagey you bet he'd think that being nice was a trap to get him to do something. so you leave it. No point in bringing it up right now, you'll just have to wait.

It goes back to being quiet. The chicken is done, the pasta has been pulled off the stove and drained, with sauce ready and the vegetable chopped for the salad. Plates have already been pulled out along with some glasses.

"What would you like to drink? I've got water, juice, coffee, although I don't think that would taste very good with what we're eating, and beer. Labatts," you listed off every drink you have in the house besides the hard liquor.

"I'll have a beer," he said, his voice staying low.

you grab the bottle out of the fridge and one of the bottle openers from the front of the fridge. After opening the bottle you hand it to him, your fingers brushed by his as he takes the bottle from your hand. tingles travel up your arm and to your chest where your heart beat picks up its pace. you shoot him a quick smile and then turn around to put together the two plates.

you set down Andrews plate in front of him and make sure he has a fork and knife, then grab yours and sit across from him.

cutting into the chicken to take a bite, you glance up at him. He's watching you, hands still down by his sides.

"Go ahead, it's not gonna eat itself," you tell him, humor evident in your voice.

He lifted his hand and began to eat his food as well. the both of you settling into the quiet music in the background.

ੈ✩‧₊˚༺☆༻ੈ✩‧₊˚ੈ✩‧₊˚༺☆༻ੈ✩‧₊˚ੈ✩‧₊

I know who I am when I'm alone

I'm something else when I see you

You don't understand, you should never know

How easy you are to need

After that first meal, many more followed. Andrew started to come over more and more. You had extended the offer to him. Saying that you could imagine how chaotic it must get over there, and if he was looking to take a break and sit in a calm and quiet area he could shoot you a text.

Slowly, much like an abused shelter dog, he warmed up to your affections. He stopped flinching when you set a hand on his shoulder, or on his back as you passed by him. He even started to lean into your touches.

You had two days off starting today, finally getting to rest at home. With nothing to do till tomorrow you've been lounging on the couch in sweats and an old undergrad t-shirt, wrapped up in a blanket watching your favorite show.

when you hear a knock at your door. you perk your head up. You're not expecting anyone, but you hear another. This time it's more desperate. Quickly you get up,shoving the blanket off you and onto the couch, moving towards the door.

just as another knock starts you open the door. Andrew is standing there with his arm still raised, body tense and face even more so. The crease between his brows is the deepest you've seen in the time you've known him. He's breathing heavily and his eyes look glassy.

"Andrew, come in, you know you don't have to knock anymore," the words rush out of your mouth with concern as you open the door further.

He walked in fast, with a quick look over his shoulder like he was checking to see if someone was following him.

Once you finally close the door, you turn around to look at him better. looking for any physical harm, which luckily, it looks like only more mental and emotional injuries in addition to the ones you picked up on.

"Are you going to tell me what's going on? Why are you so freaked out?" you asked, setting your hands on his shoulders. He finally looks away from the window he'd been staring at. the window that points to his family's house. He shakes his head no.

"Ok well go sit on the couch and I'll grab you a drink, and we'll figure this out ok?", he gave you a nod after you finished your sentence.

you head to the kitchen to grab two beers and a water. with the hope that he will at least down the water first, you set that bottle in his hand and the opened beer on the coffee table in front of him. but as expected he sat the water bottle on the table and grabbed the beer, taking a swig from the glass bottle. You work to get the courage to ask why he's upset.

"so, do you want to talk about what's going on?" you ask after a few minutes of drinking your beer, both of you having set them down by now. It's not that you were scared of him, but you were scared to drive him away. Again, he just shakes his head no, tears starting to well in his eyes. You've never seen him like this and well, if you can't get him to talk maybe giving him a hug might help. yeah you know it may be a childish approach but, hey, maybe it'll help. might as well try, he tends to be receptive of you giving him light touches.

so you do. you scoot closer to him on the couch and wrap your arms around his shoulders, pulling him into your body slightly. giving him the ability to refuse and back away. but he doesn't. He stiffens for a second or two before he's melting like butter in a hot pan. He wraps his arms around your waist tightly, like you're a life preserver in the middle of the ocean and he'll drown if he lets go. his head drops to the crook of your neck. You can feel the first of many tears start to fall before his body starts to shake with sobs. you move your hand to the back of his head, scratching his scalp with blunt nails. Your other hand makes soothing circles on his back.

when the sobs start to lessen after quite a few minutes, you start to adjust the two of you. It's hard at first, trying to lay back onto the couch and bring him down with you, he's a big man. However he quickly gets the idea, and with the emotional energy needed to sob that hard, he is tired.

Once you're finally laying how you wanted, with him laying on top of you like a weighted blanket, you grab the remote.

"I'm going to put on one of those ocean documentaries we watched the other day, if that's alright with you. we can keep the TV off if that's better though," giving him the option knowing how exhausting sobbing like that can be, you've been there quite a few times.

"The documentary is fine," he rasps. his head on your chest, turned to look at the screen.

you kept lightly scratching his back up and down, letting him decompress and rest. both of you falling asleep eventually.

ੈ✩‧₊˚༺☆༻ੈ✩‧₊˚ੈ✩‧₊˚༺☆༻ੈ✩‧₊˚ੈ✩‧₊

you woke up to a knock on the door. Andrew was still draped over you, asleep, so you gently woke him.

"Hey, Andrew, you gotta wake up. I have to answer the door," you kept your voice low and soothing, because who the hell wants to be woken up being yelled at, he had a hard day yesterday as it was.

he grunted in response and slowly lifted himself up, standing up and stretching his back. you stood up just as carefully and cracked your back to release some tension, the couch was never a friend to you when you slept on it. Another knock sounded as you finished your poor attempt at fixing your spine.

"alright! im coming, don't get your panties in a twist, my god," you've never been a morning person, and some stranger knocking at your door did the last bit to piss you off.

you shuffle to the door, unknowingly having Andrew trail behind you like a shadow just out of view of the door. If you were to have looked behind you, you would've seen his face become steely and blank, his shoulders taught, ready to pull you behind him so he could strike at any threat that may come.

you keep the chain lock in place near the top of your door as you open it, living alone made you paranoid so there were always two types of locks on each door. Finally seeing who was knocking at your door, one of Andrew's brothers. Baz you think his name was.

"Why are you knocking on my door at," you look at your wrist watch, "seven AM?" your eyebrow raised in question and a scowl on your face.

"Is Pope here?" he asked.

"do i look like i know the fucking pope?" somehow just seeing his face put you in an actual fowl mood. You know that he's talking about the nickname that he and his brothers gave Andrew, but while he was in your house his name was Andrew. that's what he preferred and that's all he would be known by here. and to be quite honest you knew that if he was sniffing around your front door, a place you made sure they knew was not welcoming after some less than savory stories from Andrew, that he was up to no good.

"Not The Pope, I mean Pope as in, Andrew. Is Andrew here?" he seemed annoyed to have to say his actual name, like respecting him as a person outside of the family was an inconvenience.

"No." you replied. "Looking for anything else? the holy ghost maybe? you look like you could use it. maybe a crucifix? it could help with your general….. ickiness."

He let out an exasperated sigh, "nope, thanks for letting me know."

"yeah no problem, please get off my porch, thank you."

You can guess that he is partially the reason behind Andrew's surprise visit yesterday. You shut the door, and lock it, turning around to go back to the living room to check on Andrew only to find him directly behind you.

"oh! Jesus you startled me Andrew what the hell," you'd jumped in surprise, setting your right hand on his chest while your left hand came up to your own.

"Sorry, didn't mean too," he was smirking as he said it. "you know, most people don't talk to him like that, especially when they've only met him three times, they find him intimidating if not charming"

"yeah, well, he comes over here banging on my door with his fugly ass face demanding information about who comes in and out of my home," you start ranting, "he's not nearly as scary as he thinks, I've had old ladies put more fear into me than he does. Be happy you’ve never had to fight a demented old lady with a UTI, strongest person you’ll ever meet. And he's definitely not charming."

Andrew chuckles lightly, obviously very amused by the disdain you have for his brother. Typically women are throwing themselves at Baz, especially in comparison to him. for you to not only not try to get in his pants but actively show that you prefer Andrew over him, well he likes it. He likes being preferred, being picked over someone else, being wanted by someone he's grown to need.

"Who knew you were so grumpy in the morning," he says. hes still got a stupid smirk plastered on his face, but now he has his arms crossed. The t-shirt he's wearing from the day before is stretched taught over his shoulders and arms. The view was already making up for being woken up so rudely.

you walk towards the kitchen, wanting to grab a monster from the fridge. one can no longer has the effect it used to, now it's to stave away the caffeine withdrawal headaches.

"Coffee or a monster?" you ask him.

"coffee please."

you pull down the grounds from the cabinet and get to making a pot.

"so, since we've both been so rudely awoken, should we talk about what happened last night?" you ask.

"Smurfs have been drugging me," he answers quietly. 

you finish making the pot of coffee quietly, turning the machine on to let it start brewing. thinking about how to go about answering him, you stand there, watching him and his body language. He has told you a little bit about his family. nothing that would let you in on the illegal stuff that they get up too, you figured that out on your own.

"and Baz knew about it." he said.

"what exactly has she been drugging you with?" you ask.

"some drugs for schizophrenia."

"Is there anything I can help with?" you want to help him as much as possible, you've started to really like him. not in a friendly way either. "You know you can always stay here, I know that that motel room is too loud for you and you hate staying over there with her."

"Yeah," he clears his throat. "yeah um i think that might be a good idea, as long as you don't mind."

ੈ✩‧₊˚༺☆༻ੈ✩‧₊˚ੈ✩‧₊˚༺☆༻ੈ✩‧₊˚ੈ✩‧₊

Andrew wasn't going to let this opportunity pass him by. He's been trying to get as close to you as possible while keeping Smurf away. Unfortunately that's becoming less and less likely. and after he got arrested for violating parole because of drugs in his system, Andrew realized that you're the safest place he can go. you wont drug him. you don't want to use him. he can relax around you, let his guard down. he could obsess over your softness towards him without worry. a softness that you do not afford his brothers when you've had the misfortune of coming in contact with them.

he needed you, and you were just freely giving yourself to him.

And god he's glad you were because he never realized how easy it is to need you.

it's only a matter of time before Smurf comes to ruin it, he knows that. hes waiting for the other shoe to drop, squashing him in the process.

ੈ✩‧₊˚༺☆༻ੈ✩‧₊˚ੈ✩‧₊˚༺☆༻ੈ✩‧₊˚ੈ✩‧₊

Don't let me in with no intention to keep me

Jesus Christ, don't be kind to me

Honey, don't feed me, I will come back

Andrew has been staying with you for a few weeks now. Your whole house has gone through a reorganization. You suspect that Andrew has a form of OCD. contamination OCD to be exact. The organization is just a byproduct of the need for everything to be clean on a microorganism level. He has other quirks as well.

he started sleeping in your bed with you after he had a nightmare the first night. you both stayed up for quite a while that night talking about a lot after the nightmare.

he opened up to you about pretty much everything. What happened to him in prison, his childhood and about his twin sister. about his insanely complicated relationship with his mother. what has been happening in the "Cody house" recently. and finally, what he and his family do, not in detail though.

After all that you have a healthy hatred for his family, and an absolute burning hatred for his mother. If it weren't for the fact that you need a clean record for residency and she would make it impossible to look like self defense, you'd kill her.

Sometimes you'll wake up and find him staring at you. Which was kind of creepy at first but you grew used to it, figuring that's just how he was and that it was simply a quirk with no ill intent.

The two of you actively tried avoiding cuddling only the first night he slept in your bed. that didn't work. the two of you go to bed in whatever way you feel like now, knowing that in the morning you'll wake up cuddled to him somehow, with your t-shirt twisted up and your pajama pants becoming pantaloons. You're unsure of when the soft touches and kisses and occasional pet names started, and you've been too scared to ask Andrew what it all means.

ੈ✩‧₊˚༺☆༻ੈ✩‧₊˚ੈ✩‧₊˚༺☆༻ੈ✩‧₊˚ੈ✩‧₊

you have a feeling that Andrew's mother is getting to him again though. you never wanted to isolate him from his family obviously. He still spent a lot of time at his family home. Probably discussing plans for, well, crimes. It's none of your business, the less you know the better. however you can see Andrews mental health declining.

he had been doing better, looking a little lighter. At least when he was with you he looked it. but now he seems to have turned all the way around back to when you first met him. Maybe he had just been riding the high of a job gone well or maybe he had just been having a high amongst the lows. Either way, you were getting concerned again.

ੈ✩‧₊˚༺☆༻ੈ✩‧₊˚ੈ✩‧₊˚༺☆༻ੈ✩‧₊˚ੈ✩‧₊

You're listening to some music while making some pasta salad for you to have for dinner later, it was only ten in the morning but it needed some time to set and you needed it to be ready for an early dinner so you can eat before work tonight.

The front door opened as you were putting the bowl into the fridge.

"Hey! I didn't think you'd be back till later," you shout over your shoulder.

"Can I ask you something?" Andrew asked you. He seemed a little unsettled and antsy. both of which are weird for him to be towards you.

"Sure what's up?"

"would you be willing to go over to smurfs for dinner tonight."

"I mean, yeah I don't mind. I'll have to run to the store to grab a few things, does your mom have a favorite wine? What about the beer your brothers drink?" you ask him. maybe you could just bring your pasta salad over and a bottle of wine and some beer, just to try and not piss them all off immediately.

ੈ✩‧₊˚༺☆༻ੈ✩‧₊˚ੈ✩‧₊˚༺☆༻ੈ✩‧₊˚ੈ✩‧₊

It can't be unlearned

I've known the warmth of your doorways

Through the cold, I'll find my way back to you

Oh, please, give me mercy no more

That's a kindness you can't afford

I warn you, babe, each night, as sure as you're born

You'll hear me howling outside your door

After that dinner with Andrew's family, he fully disappeared.

while you thought it had gone well. you got along well enough with Smurf and deran was kind. Craig kept eyeing you a bit like a steak but besides that he was pleasant enough to not warrant suspicion. Baz was a dick but that's par for the course, and J was quiet but he didn't seem upset at your presence.

Obviously something went awry but you knew better than to go over to that house to ask about him. going over there asking questions would simply put a big target on your back and that was something you could not afford. if his brothers were outside when you were leaving the house or getting home from work, they would give you a look of pity. It was like they knew something was wrong with Andrew.

It's not like you were his mother nor did you have any legal connection to him. All you could do was wait to see if he came back around, and be there to pick up the inevitable pieces if he does.

but even if you wanted to, you couldn't stop everything and wait for him, with graduation coming up you needed to get everything prepared. You get to work on writing a CV for your residency applications. You also have to get professors and clinical rotation preceptors to write letters of recommendations. not to mention the actual interviews. But the excitement of starting a new chapter and officially being a doctor won over the stress of applying for a residency. So if he comes back, he comes back. If not then you'll leave a letter somewhere for him and move on, as much as that hurts you to think about.

ੈ✩‧₊˚༺☆༻ੈ✩‧₊˚ੈ✩‧₊˚༺☆༻ੈ✩‧₊˚ੈ✩‧₊

It had been almost three months since the dinner with Andrew's family and his subsequent disappearance.

you're now officially a Doctor and you couldn't be more happy. you wished Andrew could've made it to the Graduation ceremony but you never saw him. You also went through your match day on your own. You matched Emergency Medicine at Strong Memorial Hospital in Rochester New York. Now you have a few months to enjoy California and pack up to move. You still haven't decided yet if you want to sell the house or not.

you already packed pretty much everything within three days. You left the absolute basics and have been living in your swim suits and coverups when you weren't working to try to soak in as much sun and beach time as possible.

Today was a lazy day though. you layed on the beach for a few hours, walked around downtown and window shopped, and then you went home. You've been laying around all afternoon and it is starting to get dark now. hunkered down on the couch watching a show you've seen a million times; on your laptop since you packed away the tv. and drinking some wine straight from the bottle for no other reason than the one cup you didn't pack away is sitting in your sink, dirty.

Right as the show was getting to the best part of the episode you heard a knock at the door. you thought about ignoring it, truly, but the knocks sounded so frantic. you paused the show and started getting up when you heard him.

"let me in, please!" his voice sounded strained almost like he was sobbing. "please baby, it's andrew, it's just me, please open the door!"

you ran to the door, throwing it open. Andrew came into view immediately. He was kneeling in front of you, his arm braced on the door frame and tears were running down his face. He looked up at you then and if you weren't so worried about what caused him to be like this you would have appreciated just how pretty his eyes were. you grabbed his face and wiped away the tears with your thumbs as you started to kneel down. Andrew had a different idea though because he surged up, wrapping his arms around your midsection and tucking his head into your neck sobbing. putting your arms around his shoulders and neck, you walked backwards with him into the house, shutting the door once you were inside. The both of you stood there for a few minutes, him sobbing into your neck while you rubbed circles on his back with your one hand, the other hand holding the back of his head.

"Andy, honey, what's going on, what happened? It's been months, where have you been, are you ok?" The questions leave you faster than you meant to ask them but it's so odd for Andrew to be this emotional that everything came out at once. Instead of answering he just tightened his arms around you and shook his head.

"Alright, how about we just go sit in the kitchen hm?" you ask. His response was simply a nod, so you pulled him away from you, wiping his face and then taking his hand and bringing him over to the kitchen table to sit.

Once you settle him into a chair you quickly grab a drink from the fridge for him and sit down. He slips his hand into yours immediately, squeezing it twice. The two of you sat there for a few minutes, you taking in his face and him sipping his drink as he soothes himself with your presence.

"she told me to kill her," his voice was quiet.

"Who?"

"smurf. she told me to kill cath," you saw his breathing pick up all over again as his voice pitched higher. "She wants me to kill her. Said she's talking to the cops. and I told her no but you know how smurf is. So I left. I came here."

"alright" you take a deep breath to calm your nerves then ask, "what do you want to do?"

"I want out. if im under smurfs thumb for much longer ill put my gun to my head. I am tired of doing her dirty work and being the one stuck with the nightmares and the blood on my hands."

"You could come with me," you propose.

"To where? Unless I go across the country, Smurf will find me and she will not be happy, as it is she might just be pissed off enough to take care of cath herself. Baz cant take care of Lena himself, he's in mexico with some other woman half the time which means Lena will be in the system. oh i cant let her do that to lena, the foster system was awful when i was a kid i cant only imagine how fucking bad it is today."

"Well firstly, maybe you could talk to Baz about taking care of Lena. I know you and her get along pretty well, you take good care of her and baz isnt a very good father to be honest. Secondly, I am going all the way across the country. New York to be exact, so come with me." trying to convince him that he should come with you might be harder than you thought. Andrews lived in California all his life with his mother in his head for the same amount of time, and on top of that he hates change.

"Andy, just come with me. I was going to move in a few months, I would have left a note addressed to you if you hadn't come back around. But we can go early, we can leave tomorrow for all I care," the desperation is starting to bleed into your voice. you know that if he stays under his mother then he's right, all the blood will be forced onto his hands. The nightmares will be his to carry. the faces and voices of those he is told to kill will haunt him. because smurf wont stop at cath. she'll have Andrew kill anyone she deems dangerous to the business.

No, not Andrew.

Pope.

She'll make sure that he never gets better, that he never heals. that he's always in the mindset of "Pope".

"What about Lena? If Smurf goes through with getting rid of Cath, I can't leave her in that mess." Andrew's mind is running a mile a minute with all the possibilities.

"We can figure that out when we get there. I have a friend that's a social worker here and I'll tell her to keep an eye out for Lena. If she ends up in fostercare we can try to apply to take her in as next of kin. She can make sure Smurfs papers are blocked." you reply. your friend would be willing to bend the rules for you, especially if it's for the good of the child, you know she would do this for you and Andrew.

"Ok," his answer comes out breathy. "Ok I'll go with you. we should leave as soon as possible though, Smurf will know something is up soon."

"I'll go get the plane tickets bought," it was a damn good thing your last day at work was yesterday, and it was even better that you were able to save enough money for an extra ticket.

ੈ✩‧₊˚༺☆༻ੈ✩‧₊˚ੈ✩‧₊˚༺☆༻ੈ✩‧₊˚ੈ✩‧₊

Don't you hear me howling, babe?

Don't you hear me howling, babe?

Don't you hear me howling, babe?

Don't you hear me howling?

Don't you hear me howling?

Don't you hear me howling, babe?

The next morning the two of you are standing at your gate. you with a suitcase and two other bags. Andrew with the clothes on his back and nothing else.

"this is it, last stop before you start a whole new life," you whisper to andrew. "are you ready?"

"never been more ready for anything in my life, baby," he grabbed your hand and leaned over to kiss you.

the gate attendant called your section and the two of you walked onto the plane towards your new lives.

You may have thought that Andrew and his love had been gone forever, but if there's one thing you learned about him, it is that no matter what he will always come back.

ੈ✩‧₊˚༺☆༻ੈ✩‧₊˚ੈ✩‧₊˚༺☆༻ੈ✩‧₊˚ੈ✩‧₊

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