#meadowwrites

summary: Paul imprints on the one unavailable person he shouldn’t. Intending to ignore it, he falls deeper, pulling you with him. tw: abusive relationship (not with Paul), insecurity, swearing, angst, Paul is lovely, don’t worry Word count: 4k

People within the pack who experienced imprinting described it as instant. A sudden change in atmosphere that had the world tilting and colliding with the one person who was now the center of their universe. 

For Paul, it came in waves. 

Like a current during tide, becoming stronger each time he saw you. 

He was determined to ignore it. The first time he met you, he knew there was no other choice but to ignore the pull you suddenly had on him.  

The bonfire was supposed to be fun; it was supposed to be a way to unwind a bit. Shake off the impossible responsibilities and the doom that seemed to follow the Cullens and therefore the pack.

That was until you walked onto the crowded beach.

You waltzed in hand in hand with Kim, your chatty cousin. Your smile was shining brighter than the sun, pulling him in like a planet that orbited it. 

That should have been his first clue. 

But when Jared’s voice boomed to life next to him, he forgot all about leaving. Your gaze shifted to him, meeting his eyes. 

He was lost. 

Freezing mid-laugh, he couldn’t seem to break the spell that had fallen upon the two of you. The world around you stopped spinning for what felt like hours. The people in it disappeared, turning into blurs. 

He couldn’t stand it. 

He never wanted an imprint, but now you were here, standing right in front of him. A beautiful soul bound to someone who never wanted to be in shackles involuntarily. 

Jared’s laughter pulled the two of you out of the trance, letting the time finally continue as it tended to. He jabbed Paul in his ribs, earning a snarl before making his way to you and leaving Paul behind. 

By the looks of the pack members, they knew. And they kept watching him expectantly. Sam was tense, inching toward Paul like he was a rabid animal that would burst out of its skin at any moment. A valid assumtion that was not far fetched given his history.

But he couldn't care less. His gaze was still on you as you greeted Jared in a tight embrace before sitting down with Kim, who didn’t let go of you since you came in. She followed Paul with a threat present in every ounce of her being.

Your eyes were alert, cruising around each and every person present. You weren’t scared, that much he knew. He could feel you with every breath. Your emotions, your sense of self, pulsing inside him the same way his heart was. Like it was always there. 

There it was again. Your gaze landed on him, sinking its teeth into him and pulling him under the water to drown. His jaw clenched, but he wasn’t able to move. To flinch away. 

You gulped at the intensity in his eyes. A small smile appeared on your lips; you were trying to break the ice. To extinguish a part of the unwelcoming flame glowing in his eyes. 

He looked away. 

And he could feel the hammering of your heart; it beat just as strongly as his did. Their melodies now forever tethered together in a perfect harmony. He felt sick. 

The corners of your lips went taut, turning downward. You didn’t understand why he was so tense or why he looked as though he hated being on the same beach as you. 

But then his gaze snapped back to you. Like he could hear your thoughts and the hurt echoing inside of them. He offered a small smile, nodding his head in greetings. You waved a hand, your heart skipping a beat. A gleam appeared in his eyes, shining brightly and bringing you back to reality.

You answered a question Jared asked, grinning like he brought up your favorite topic. Your hands were flying around, gesturing wildly as you spoke. He listened to your voice as if it were his favorite lullaby. You were interrupted by a set of hands landing on your shoulders. They tensed as if the weight of the world landed on them.

You looked up with a tight smile. Paul’s jaw clenched impossibly tight, teeth grinding together. The man massaged your shoulders as he greeted Jared and Kim, who were now paying their full attention to him. Only you kept slipping up, your eyes shifting to Paul every now and then. 

You had a boyfriend. 

A special someone who, by the looks of it, didn’t make you all that happy. Your shoulder slumped as the glimmers of a smile in your eyes died down. His lips met yours in a rough match you didn’t want to fight in. 

As you two separated, your gaze found Paul’s again. For a split second, he could see the person who walked onto the beach. A caring soul that was buried under unpleasant circumstances. 

You glanced at Kim, who was now animatedly telling your boyfriend some story. He sat next to you, pulling you closer, his arms snaking around your stomach in an affectionate side hug. Your head rested on his shoulder as you bit your lip. You were so quiet now compared to before. It drove Paul insane. 

He wanted nothing more than to whisk you away. But that would mean admitting the imprint. Admitting he saw - felt - more than he wanted to. 

And it scared him beyond belief. 

What if it was just jealousy seeing you committed to someone who wasn’t him? The instinct to claim burned brighter than the North Star on a clear night. It guided him to act impulsively. Which he couldn’t afford. Instead, he gave you one last smile, committing your face - the one he first saw - into memory and fled without a warning. 

Sam shouted for him to return, but he couldn’t. He couldn’t face you, and the happiness he would shatter to pieces if you found out the bond shackled you to him of all people. As far as he knew, you didn’t know anything about the world he was a part of. And Paul wanted it to stay that way. 

Your smile haunted him once he phased. Taunting him. All he could do was run as fast and as far as his paws let him. 

 It was pouring rain, a weather so fitting for your home that one would think you were born with an umbrella. And normally, you had it on you in case droplets of water came down. 

Today was not one of those days. Tommy was supposed to pick you up, but he was a no-show. As per usual, you put faith in your boyfriend of three years only for him to let you down. 

So now you were left to your own devices. Your dead phone was tucked in your purse, utterly useless. The rain picked up, making you feel as though you were drowning. 

There was a sudden spurt of lights heading your way. The truck stopped right beside you, the window rolling down. “Hop in.” Paul was behind the wheel, his gaze warm with a flicker of an emotion you couldn’t quite place. You returned his smile, not needing him to tell you twice. 

“Thanks. You’re Paul, right? We haven’t officially met, but we saw each other the other day on the beach.” You spill out, just now coming to your senses. Jumping in a car with someone you didn’t know might not have been the smartest move on your part.

One meeting was enough for him to worm his way into your dreams and thoughts. It was embarrassing to admit how easily he found himself in your mind. Like this wasn’t the first time you actually spoke to one another.  

“That’s me. So how come you’re on your own in the rain?” 

“Oh, my ride ditched. I think.”

“You think?” 

“Tom probably just forgot. And my phone died, so I can’t really remind him.” You waved your hand, trying to seem indifferent to the whole situation.

He stayed quiet for a bit, his gaze searching yours before it returned back to the road. “Right. Forgot about his girlfriend.” 

There was an edge to his tone, a disapproval that he masked with a slight indifference in his features. But you saw the way his jaw ticked as he clenched his teeth. 

You didn’t want to defend Tom; he didn’t deserve it. But then what did it make you if you couldn’t even utter a simple sentence? He was your partner, and everyone had bad days. “Yes, happens to everyone.” You said, watching him intently.

“Mhm.” He nodded, not convinced in the slightest. 

Your features hardened, “He’s a good person. He probably just got busy. It really isn’t a big deal. You don’t know either of us; you can’t really judge.” 

He shook his head, not sparing you a look. He knew you were right; he didn’t know you. But you were his imprint. You were now his responsibility even when he didn’t want you to be. 

And now you were here, sitting in his truck because your boyfriend was a piece of shit and you defended him. He didn’t want to let that slide; he shouldn’t have. But it was clearly hurting you that someone was attacking Tom.

A wave of jealousy and protectiveness rolled through him. He sighed, “You’re right. I’m sorry, but from my limited perspective, he’s an ass.”

You frowned, ready to defend Tom again, but he didn’t give you a chance. “You could catch a cold. Or someone could have kidnapped you, or crash into you. The rain is heavy, and you were not exactly visible on the road.”

His eyes shifted to you for a moment, a sense of tenderness and worry in them. “Like that would happen.” You chuckled, waving his worry off.

He rolled his eyes at your recklessness. In his mind, you were a hazard to your own well-being. “It could have. The cold part will probably happen.” 

“Well, thank you for being my hero.” You said, sarcasm dripping from every syllable. 

A smirk formed on his lips, “Pleasure.”

You rolled your eyes, hugging your shivering form tighter. He didn’t even look at you and turned the heater up. After a beat of silence, he spoke up again, “Are you okay?”

The car pulled to a stop, and you just noticed he drove you right to your house. Part of you freaked out that he knew just where to go, but the more sensible part cooed that Kim probably told him where you were staying. 

“Why do you ask?” You frowned, glancing at him. The rain was falling heavily, thudding onto the roof of the truck.

He shrugged, searching your eyes. It seemed as though he was looking right into your soul. “I don't know. You don’t seem okay.”

Chuckle left your lips involuntarily. “Well, I’m drenched, probably ruining your seat, so there’s that.” 

“But that’s not all.” He was frowning again, and something in you wanted to reach out and smooth the line between his brows. 

You glanced toward the house, biting your lip. “I-I don’t really want to talk about it.” 

“Don’t have to. But if you need someone, I’m here.” He couldn’t believe the sentence left his lips before he could stop it. 

And by the looks of it, you couldn’t believe it either. Your eyes grew larger for a second, face heating up. Schooling your expression, you gave him a small smile, already reaching for the handle. “Thank you.” You whispered, leaving the car, robbing him of saying anything else. 

He didn’t meet you for a while after that. Not truly. He came by in his wolf form, checking up on you. And you again seemed happy. 

Or as happy as you could be. 

Days seemed to drag from the moment he picked you up on the road. His thoughts revolved around you, making him insufferable to be around in his wolf form. 

Every time you showed up with Kim, he was pulled deeper in the water, drowning with every glance you spared him. With every little smile that crossed your features. 

He could hear your heart now, beating faster than usual, your cheeks heating up. Blinking, he realized he was staring. Again. 

It was involuntary; he couldn’t help but glance at you once in a while just to make sure you were alright. As if anything could happen to you in the pack house. 

Someone cleared their throat, and Paul wasn’t able to pinpoint who exactly it was when you had him under your spell. Your eyes were intoxicating, a magnetic force.

You looked at Kim, who was the source of the interruption. She gestured to your lit-up phone, the text on the screen freezing the smile on your face. 

The reality of your situation dawned on you. The beat of your heart picked up again as panic took over your actions. You took your phone, excusing yourself before leaving abruptly. 

Worried glances followed you outside, their whispering taunting you. Your lip wobbled as you looked down at your phone, reading the text over and over again. 

Where the fuck are you again?

Squeezing the screen tight, you wanted it to disappear. Why be with someone so awful when there were plenty of fish in the sea? A sense of guilt pooled in the pit of your stomach, replacing the butterflies that not so long ago danced around. 

You shouldn’t be feeling like this. 

A pull toward someone who wasn’t Tom. A feeling of belonging with someone you barely knew, but who seemed to be there, no questions asked. Someone who occupied your every thought like he had made a permanent residence inside your mind. 

There was a memory resurfacing of Paul’s warm hand wrapped around your torso, making sure you don’t fall while hiking. 

You didn’t go together; it was surprising to bump into him on the trail. He kept grumbling about the woods being dangerous and how Kim should have told you, but you ignored him, waving him off. 

It was a pleasant afternoon, much better than you originally intended it to be. He managed to make you laugh, making your day with a bunch of stories about his friends and how stupid they were. But behind the words, you could see the fondness in his eyes. He loved them even when he wouldn’t say it. 

When you went back home, you had to remind yourself of Tom and how much you still cared for him. Three years of a relationship that you could still save, because you truly believed he was worth it. 

You two had a future all mapped out together, and his mood swings were just a temporary hiccup.

A set of steps pulled you out of your thoughts as a body slumped next to you onto the swing, making it squeak. Paul’s hand found yours, putting the phone down. “You deserve better.”

“You don’t even know me.” You shook your head. 

He shrugged, “I’m a pretty good judge of character. And even if I wasn’t, I could see it. You deserve better.” 

You two stayed quiet for a while, sitting on the swing, looking ahead at the forest surrounding Emily’s house. It was peaceful, the birds chirped as the wind whistled, picking up. 

“I want to believe it.” You whispered. 

He gifted you one of his smiles, making your heart beat fast again. “I’ll make sure you will.” 

You shoved his arm away, chuckling. “Don’t play with me.” 

“Wouldn’t dream of it.”

The bruise on your lips burned even when the blood had already dried up. Tears stained your face, running down in a free fall. There was no stopping them as you drove on the rain-stricken road.

The weather was on your side, matching the emotional trainwreck you had been feeling. You desperately needed your cousin, but her house was empty, with her phone turned off. 

Panic overtook you when you found out, your body changing into autopilot as you hopped into the car again. 

You weren’t sure you knew where exactly you were going, but you took a turn onto a secluded driveway. The trees parted, revealing a small house covered by moss with a porch wrapped around it. 

You remembered when Kim told you to always come here if something happened. Her voice was adamant, demanding even, edged with a sense of urgency. 

As the engine died, you wiped the tears away, smudging the mascara. You wanted nothing more than to curl in your cousin's embrace, letting the tears fall again until there was nothing left. 

Memories rushed back, causing your thoughts to close up again, heavy with emotions. It happened so quickly you couldn’t really understand it. 

Tom didn’t used to be like this. He was charming, handsome, and smart. Always laughing, bringing people in with his charisma and easy-going personality. 

So when he asked you out, you were over the moon. The beginning of your relationship was something out of a fairytale. Roses decorated your dorm every week, and a good morning text was a daily occurrence. He introduced you to his family, took you on dates whenever you were free.

There wasn’t a particular day when it all stopped. It began slowly, creeping in that you didn’t notice it until it was too late. 

You couldn’t believe it when the first back-handed comments happened. You attributed it to stress. In your mind, there was no way he could be cruel. 

Back-handed comments about your weight, outfit, or even facial expression turned into snide comments - hurtful comments. Their frequency doubled, and every day, you anticipated another bite that was slowly chipping away at your sense of self. 

But you hold hope that it was just a rough patch; everyone had those. He was your first boyfriend, your first love. Love that you couldn’t feel anymore, but maybe it could be rekindled. Even when deep down, you knew your heart began to belong to someone else.

That hope was extinguished after today's argument. 

His words cut deeper than any petty comment he ever made. You had dedicated three years to this relationship, only for him to sleep with other women and laugh in your face. 

“Maybe if you could satisfy my needs better, I wouldn’t have strayed.” 

“Don’t you dare put this on me! You’re not a fucking cat to stray away. I can’t believe I ever put up with your bullshit.” You bit back, feeling the anger inside rising. 

He snorted, rolling his eyes. “As if you could do better. I settled, so get it through that tick skull of yours.” 

He truly believed what he was saying. It made you sick to your stomach that you stayed, let him squish you under his foot as if you were something less.  

“How about you get this through your empty skull? We’re done, asshole.”

The slap echoed, bouncing between the walls. You didn’t wait for him to apologize. Or to say anything justifying the action. Adrenaline kicked in, and you ran out of his place, leaving him behind. 

You shook your head, trying to fight off the tears that were burning behind your eyes. Before you lost it again, you made it out of the car and knocked on the door. 

There was a shuffling inside before the door opened, revealing someone you didn’t anticipate. He looked as though he had just woken up, his hair sticking out in every possible direction. 

His eyes sharpened the moment they landed on your face, taking in every possible detail. The air was tense around you two as his jaw clenched. 

“I’m sorry. Is- is Kim here? I can’t get hold of her.” You said, your gaze lowering to the ground. The intensity of his eyes burned, scorching you, and you couldn’t handle it. 

His thumb found your chin and ever so gently pulled your face up. The hatred that burned in his eyes softened, worry lacing his next words, “Let’s get you inside. I’ll try and get her for you, yea?” 

You nodded, wincing as his thumb touched the tender part of your busted lip. “Sorry. I’ll get you an ice pack.” 

Paul’s words couldn’t even begin to cover the way he was feeling. He was livid. Red tinted his vision, and if it weren’t for you needing someone gentle right now, he would act on the feeling. 

You looked so fragile, so broken, that it took everything in him not to go after the thing that caused you harm. The instinct to protect was overwhelming, guiding his actions. 

He was scared - terrified even - to touch you. He gently guided you to the kitchen, taking out the ice pack from the designated space in the freezer. With so many pack members, Emily thought it would be best to be fully stocked. 

He handed it to you before rummaging through the medicine cabinet to get the disinfectant and a cotton to wipe away the residual blood. He made his way back to you, sitting on the chair, and looked down. Tears were left unshed in your eyes, glossing them over. He took the ice pack from you, setting it aside. “Let me.” He whispered as if not to scare you.

You didn’t protest, only nodding, as he ever so gently tapped the cotton onto the sensitive skin. Eyes alert, your gaze hadn’t left him, but your body relaxed as soon as he made contact with your skin. He could feel you calming down through the bond, and he tried to mask the way it made his heart beat faster. 

“There you go,” He whispered, his breath tickling your cheek as he stood up to his full height again. He was so quiet, so different from what you got to know him as. 

“Thank you.” You said with a small smile that didn’t quite reach your eyes. 

He searched your expression, his eyes roaming over your face. “Did he do anything else?” 

You looked away, shaking your head as you hugged your form. He might have hit you “just” one time, but the damage he caused by his words was much greater than any injury he could inflict. 

“You-” He stopped, thinking over his next words. He didn’t want to frighten you further. His only wish was to cradle you to his chest and shield you from the rest of the world. You hummed, prompting him to continue, “If you need a place, or someone to help you move or somethin’, I- all of us are here for you.” 

“I know, thank you.” Tears gathered in your eyes, but you blinked them away. 

“No need to thank. You’re one of us.”

His hand found yours before he could stop himself. He flinched, moving away, but your fingers already clasped his, squeezing his hand. 

A gleam appeared in your eyes. “Am I?” 

“Well yea, you’re Kim’s cousin. And my friend.” The word imprint burned in his throat, clawing its way out, and he had to shave it back down. Away from his mind. 

You chuckled, searching his eyes. It stunted you how genuine his gaze was, the raw emotion in it. “So we’re friends now?”

He shrugged. “I think so.”

You pulled him into an embrace. He huffed in a response, not expecting the impact of your hug. He smiled into it, his hands slowly closing around you. “I’m glad we are.” You whispered after a beat of silence, squeezing him tight. He was practically a stranger to you, but there was something pulling you closer to him. 

You didn’t understand it, but your hearts beat in the same rhythm, your souls sang the same song. And that was enough for you. 

𐐪𐑂 imprimere sole masterlist 𐐪𐑂 One Swan sister left to live with her mother, while the other stayed behind, making friends of her own on the reservation. Friends who grew up and changed, leaving her confused and hurting. The line between legends, myths, and rational thinking blurs as the bonds connecting them all snap into place, twisting fate itself.

𐐪𐑂 Part one 𐐪𐑂

𐙚 Chapter one - indigo

𐙚 Chapter two - carry you home

𐙚 Chapter three - in between pine trees

𐙚 Chapter four - a foolish sheep makes the wolf its confessor

𐙚 Chapter five - reflection

𐙚 Chapter six - one more moment, please

𐙚 Chapter seven - it's too late

𐙚 Chapter eight - a song that makes you cry

𐙚 Chapter nine - you can run but you can't escape

𐙚 Chapter ten - all that you rely on

𐙚 Chapter eleven - figure you out

𐙚 Chapter twelve - did I cross the line

𐙚 Chapter thirteen - ghost of you

𐙚 Chapter fourteen - chasing spirits in the wind

𐙚 Chapter fifteen - take the breath from my lungs

𐙚 Chapter sixteen - all the lights sparkling

𐙚 Chapter seventeen - time heals your heart

Summary: You had been dating Paul for what feels like an eternity, his loyalty was something you never thought you'd have to question until she appeared, tearing you two apart. Word count: 2,2k TW: cheating (kind of), insecurity, violence, angst, hurt and absolutely no comfort (you had been warned) a/n: I feel like I should apologize in advance. Also I don't hate Rachel, I just used her character since I didn't feel like creating a new one.

You never were a jealous person by any means. The first glimpse of jealousy came when you first became an imprint. People might believe that the whole ordeal affected mainly the wolf who imprinted, but boy, were they wrong. You might not have been as possessive as Paul, or as vocal about it, but the bond still made you want to remind everyone that he was yours.

You didn't run into any issues until she became close with the pack when she returned from college. Rachel Black was becoming a thorn in your side, causing many problems within your relationship with Paul.

He, of course, didn't believe the accusation that you spat in his face once you had had enough. After you both had time to cool down, he assured you that nothing could ever happen. You were, as the fates decided, the only person in his heart. That he would choose you even if you weren't his imprint, fates be damned. It did the trick to soothe your worries for a while. But a little bug still lived in the back of your mind, quietly reminding you whenever he was with her that maybe fate was wrong.

Tonight was the bonfire that everyone in the pack was to attend. The imprints were invited, and you hoped Rachel wouldn't show up. That, of course, was ridiculous and wishful thinking since she was in fact Billy's daughter, and since coming back to the reservation, she became part of the annual events happening within the tight-knit community. Your insecurity was like a bright beacon for her. Shining, tempting her. You could almost swear she was doing it on purpose. She was part of the community ever since she was born, and you were an outsider who somehow ended up as an imprint. Hand in hand, you arrived, greeting all of your friends. They were always there to assure you of Paul's adoration for you, seeing what jealousy was doing to you. ''Em, do you need any help with the food?'' You asked your close friend who was there for you when you became an imprint, and ever since then, you had become inseparable. ''No, I got it covered. But thank you.'' She smiled, nodding to Sam, who had just come into view with five plates.

You laughed and let Paul take you to a seat near the fire. Just as you were about to sit, he pulled you onto his lap, snuggling his nose into your neck. ''I love you.'' He mumbled almost inaudibly. You giggled. ''I love you, too.''

As everyone gathered, you could feel the daggers sent your way. You tried to focus on Billy and his legends. Ever since the tribe let you listen in, you had been invested. Today was different. You were not able to concentrate on a single word. Shivering out of discomfort, your gaze shifted to the fires burning bright. She made you feel as if you didn't belong. Your imprint, however, pulled you even closer, trapping you with his arms. ''You okay?'' He asked, worry lacing his voice.

''Yeah, the wind is just cold.'' You whispered, setting your head on his shoulder. That was not the best excuse you could master since his embrace was always warm, and you sat near a fire, but he didn't seem to hold you hostage over your little lie, probably thinking that you could talk about it in a private setting of your home.

As the legends and stories came to an end, music and laughter replaced Billy's voice as the elders retreated to their respective households. Paul reluctantly let go of you, so you could stand up. You joined the girls as you gushed over Kim's new job. Rachel, as per usual, didn't join you. Instead, she took the opportunity that your boyfriend was just with his pack members to get closer to him. You rolled your eyes, not having the energy to deal with her. After all, you trusted your imprint to be loyal, he never gave you an excuse to do otherwise. And you believed she wouldn't try anything with you present.

''So I have this weird colleague who is like obsessed with his lunch. Which I would get, food can be a touchy subject,'' She gestured toward the guys, earning a laugh from you both. ''But he has a camera in the fridge. A camera. Who does that?'' She shook her head in disbelief.

''I can see Quil doing it, so don't give him any ideas.'' You laughed. ''No, you're absolutely right.'' Emily agreed.

"Soo, how was the honeymoon?" Kim turned to Emily. After the events of a near war with the vampire royalty, the world around you fell quiet, peaceful. Tranquility called for celebrations, weddings, and time spent together without looking behind your backs, expecting another danger to follow. Paul and Jared tried their best to fill Sam's role while he was gone with Emily. But you could tell neither of them particularly enjoyed that task.

''Well, let's just say it's about to get even more crowded around here.'' You and Kim squealed and hugged her. ''Emily, that's amazing, congratulations.''  You were ecstatic for her; she always wanted to be a mother, and you knew that she would make an amazing one.

While discussing all the ways you and Kim would spoil the newest addition to the pack, you looked around, noticing that Paul's missing. Frowning, you tried not to jump to any conclusions, trying and failing to find Rachel in the crowd. Excusing yourself to get a cup of water, you left your chattering friends behind.

As you entered the kitchen, reality seemed to crush down around you. Paul had his back to you, but the action was unmistakable. The intimacy of the moment made your heart drop into your stomach. She snaked her arm around his neck, pulling him even closer to her. His hands were slack, hanging alongside his body. Her eyes opened, meeting yours as she moaned into the kiss.

Your whole world crumbled as you quickly spun on your heel, walking out of the house swiftly, tears gathering at the edges of your eyes, blurring your vision. Your mind was drawing a blank, trying to recover from the shock.

The ringing in your ears was nearly deafeng as you took the couple of steps down the porch into the clearing. You wore a distraught expression, feeling numb as if someone had just torn your heart out of your chest. The widened eyes of your friends were on you in an instance. ''What's wrong, what happened?'' Emily asked.

''Paul, he..." You stopped yourself, "I just want to go home. I'm so sorry, Emily. I-'' You couldn't find words, stumbling over them as you tried to remove yourself from the situation, looking around like a wounded animal.

''Do you need a lift?'' She asked, concerned for your safety.

''No, no. I'll call a taxi or something. Don't worry about it.'' You answered as you continued walking from the premises. The looks of pity from your friends followed you, haunting you. Would you now lose them, too? They were Paul's friends first, and since he was in the pack, it wasn't like they could banish him.

You wanted to rage and scream until your throat was raw, but the fire within you was extinguished. Embers of the anger dimmed in comparison to the deep, unending sense of devastation, as if your very soul had been ripped from your body. Because losing him felt like a fate worse than death. The bond stretched thin, aching with every breath you took.

It was so cold that evening, a clear sign that autumn was about to begin. You walked along the road, night enveloping you. You wished it could swallow you whole. Moonlight shined dimly, letting you see just a few inches ahead. If you weren't so distraught, you wouldn't be walking alone in these woods. Paul wouldn't let you, given that the vampires roamed around, looking for their next victim. But he was not with you.

He was with her.

Before you found out about the supernatural surrounding the Olympic Peninsula, the woods made you feel safe. At peace. Walking alongside it helped you feel grounded even now, when the world was crumbling. But not even the forest was enough to fade the memory of Paul and Rachel kissing.

Shuddering from the sudden pick-up in wind, you realized that your sobs weren't the only thing keeping you company. You stiffened, shivers traveling down your spine. The woods fell silent, watching the scene unfold. Holding its breath in the wake of a predator stalking its prey.

''I'll make it quick, I promise.'' A low hiss was the last sound you heard before fire enveloped you, threatening to swallow you whole.

''What the fuck, Rachel!'' He exclaimed as he pushed her off of him, "I have a girlfriend. An imprint. You know this. For fuck's sake.'' He started to pace around the kitchen, fingers pulling on his hair. ''What were you thinking? She was right. Fuck.'' He didn't know what to do. He needed to find her, tell her what happened, and apologize, even if he didn't technically kiss her on his own free will. How does one even explain this?

"I'm sorry, okay? Geez, I just thought-"

He turned swiftly, nostrils flaring. ''You didn't think. Who do you think you are?'' He yelled, feeling his temper rise as he began to shake. ''Dammit... I need to find her.'' He left her behind, stumbling out of the house, looking around, trying to catch a glimpse of you. Usually, you were the first thing his eyes automatically searched for in the crowd.

Instead, he was met by his friends. ''What did you do to her, Lahote?'' Yelled Kim as she closed the distance between the two of them. He looked around to find you again, but you weren't there. The implications of you leaving and Kim's yelling made his mind go blank. You saw them. You saw them and left. He trembled once more, shouting, ''Where is she? Where did she go?''

''I asked you first, so fucking answer.'' She shoved him, but he didn't move an inch. He growled as he towered over her, not appreciating her getting in his face. She should know better than to cross paths with an angry shifter. Jared made his way to his imprint, his boyish grin long gone. Baring his teeth at Paul, he took a protective stance next to Kim.

''I don't have time for this.'' Snarling, he began to leave when Rachel walked out, stopping on the steps of the porch, avoiding the gazes of onlookers. Shame coated her cheeks as she gnawed on her lip.

''You didn't...'' Said Emily, a knowing look crossing her features. Paul turned back to her, anguish glimmering in his gaze. ''You did.'' She whispered, her expression falling in disappointment.

Paul had begun to shake again, this time changing into his wolf form as he ran away from the angry faces of his friends. The whole situation made his heart beat faster, pumping blood into his ears. He couldn't wait for their answers; if you saw them, he had to fix it. He would fix it. He had to tell you it wasn't how it looked. That he would never betray you like this.

You told him how Rachel made you feel. He reassured you times and times again, that she was no one to him and that he only saw you. Which was the truth, he would never do that to you, he couldn't. Only now, you didn't believe it. Didn't believe him. And rightfully so. To you, this must have cut deeper than any knife could.

Running through the woods, he tried to catch your scent. Your words kept replaying in his mind, taunting him. His vision grew hazy with the images of your face, the betrayal in your eyes he didn't see but could vividly imagine. He stumbled, paws digging into the moss-covered ground as he picked up the scent of blood in the wind.

Human blood.

His pace quickened as he ran onto the road.

He saw it. You. In the arms of an unknown pale figure.

A vicious growl left his throat, catching the attention of the vampire. Crimson washed across his vision as the cold one pulled his bloodied teeth from your neck, hissing at the intruder. Without a second thought, Paul charged at him, teeth snapping in the direction of hard, cold skin. The vampire lost his grip, sending your body crumbling to the ground like a house of cards. Your head collided with the concrete with a bounce that echoed through Paul's mind.

Suddenly not interested in his prey, he started running toward the shadows of the woods, choosing life instead. A life he didn't hesitate to take from someone else. He wasn't quick enough when the grey wolf pounced on him, ripping his head off in a swift movement. 

The taste of your blood sat heavily on Paul's tongue, making his stomach turn. Spitting the head out, he let it fall with a sickening thud. His gaze shifted to your unmoving form, lying lifeless on the road. Your eyes were staring at him, the light in them extinguished, as if taunting him further. His whole world shifted while he stood there, processing the image before him.

Summary: One Swan sister left to live with her mother, while the other stayed behind, making friends of her own on the reservation. Friends who grew up and changed, leaving her confused and hurting. Word count: 3,8k

TW: angst, abandonment, injury, curse words A/N: The story takes place before the events of twilight, but it will caught up to it in no time! I changed a lot (like the ages of Jared and Paul, they are older: 17/18ish), so be aware. It will probably be long, too, haha. I also posted it on wattpad, so if anyone's interested <3 Chapter 1 - indigo ->

I couldn't understand how everything fell apart so quickly. One day, I was laughing with all my friends in the cafeteria, and the next day, they were all gone, avoiding my calls. What hurt the most was that they didn't tell me the reason for their departure. It started innocently. Sam was close to graduating, but before he could, he disappeared. He came back just to finish his final exams, ghosting not only our friend group but also Leah, who was his girlfriend. 

She tried to make it look like it didn't bother her, but it did. It especially stung since she dedicated two weeks to finding him when he went missing. She tried her best to reach him, but to no avail, and before she could attempt to save her relationship with him, her family whisked her away to visit her relatives a month before summer officially started. And due to a bad reception, we couldn't talk as much, making her the second friend lost in just under a month.

Sam started to act weird; instead of thinking of college like he always dreamed about, he looked as if he was on steroids. He grew at least a foot taller, cutting his locks and getting a tattoo. A stern, conscious look replaced his easygoing smile.

Jared heard from his mom that Sam decided to stay, forfeiting his dream, which didn't sound like him. He always talked about his plans with such passion. He almost gave all of us a heart attack when neither of us could reach him. He disappeared for two weeks, and after returning, he acted as if he didn't know us. And frankly, we didn't know him; he changed completely.

The next person to leave was Jared, who bad-mouthed Sam for his decisions, making fun of the situation. The jokes subsided, and he became distant. When I visited La Push with Paul, I would see glimpses of Jared with Sam. He stopped coming to school, making both of us worried. Did they become a part of a gang? I tried to reach both of them, but Jared's parents refused to let either of us in, and as far as I knew, Sam was never home anymore, so I didn't even bother coming. I couldn't shake the bad feeling that things were about to get worse.

What once was a friend group of 5 had now transformed into just Paul and me. He reassured me that nothing could come between us, that he loved me, and that he would make sure we got our friends back someday.

It started as a simple fever. Paul and I went out to enjoy the sun. Walking along the beach, the rays were tickling my cheeks, making me smile in contentment. Summer had always been my favorite season because it was the time when we would throw bonfires every weekend, go camping, and be awake till the late hours without a care in the world.

Paul's eyebrows pinched, his gaze shifting to the forest surrounding the beach. As if he were looking for something that wasn't there. Something I couldn't see. I reached out to take hold of his hand, but quickly pulled back. "Paul, you're burning up," I exclaimed, putting my hand on his forehead, worry lacing my voice.

He tried to dismiss my worries, his eyes still searching the trees, "I feel fine."

"Now is not the time to play hero. Come on, I'll drive." I offered, taking hold of his hand. He squeezed it, putting on a small smile. His gaze kept returning to the forest, but I didn't find it in me to care about the reason. I needed to take him home so he could eat some soup and be all better. I didn't want to admit to myself that this was how Sam and Jared left, too. With a simple fever.

I held onto that hope for the first week. I came by every day after school to check up on him, but his father didn't let me see him, even if I begged. He would send me on my way with the same sentence every day, "He doesn't want you to get sick, Lizzie. You know how he is."

But the truth was, I didn't know. Whenever one of us was sick, the other would sneak in and spend the entire time with them. Ever since we became best friends, that's how it was. Sitting in the car dad had repaired for me to use to commute to school, my eyes watered. The ache was magnifying in my chest every second. It didn't help that sleep seemed to evade me. Instead of dreamless nights, I woke up with an image of a wolf branded into my mind.

By the second week, the pain seemed to take over my whole body, and the sorrow melted into anger.

I plastered a fake smile for Charlie, and thankfully, he bought it. With him leaving in the early hours for his shift, he didn't see me waking up with tears staining my cheeks. Food had become less appetizing each day that passed. I never imagined someone leaving without a reason could leave such a hollow pain whenever I woke up. The colors of the world, once bright and golden, seemed dull in comparison.

Every movement felt impossible, but as the anger burned stronger, so did my will to not let any of them win. If they wanted to leave without so much as a goodbye, I would let them with a head held high.

Or at least that is what I wanted to do, what I intended. But the gaze of other students made my anger falter. Their eyes filled with pity, that I had no one in here anymore.

I was a stranger who attended this school because I grew up around La Push rather than in Fork. My childhood was spent with Sue and her children. Now that my friends had disappeared from my life, I had no ties to La Push, just memories. 

The only person trying to get to me was Embry, but whenever he sat down to talk to me, within the next minute, Jacob would drag him away.

Jake and I used to play together when we were children, but we grew apart when he found his friend group and I found mine. I was also older and gravitated toward being friends with his sister rather than him. Tormenting him was an added bonus, he didn't like to be reminded of. He also didn't forgive me for dating Paul, whom he found excessively annoying. A fact I understood, since Paul sometimes seemed like an asshole. From what I heard, now more than ever. And Jake assumed that I would join the guys and become the same, so he tried to protect Embry from it. Needless to say, every time Jake visited with Billy was painfully awkward.

One day, I finally got hold of Leah. I cursed the one who decided that she had to go off-grid right when I needed her here. But before I got the chance to say anything, she mumbled the words that Sam had broken up with her. Over the phone.

What a fucking coward.

I spent the whole phone call cursing him out, trying to bring Leah's mood up. Her parents, mostly Sue, insisted that since her behavior had changed so drastically given the breakup, they would probably come back at the end of July, extending their stay. More than a month from now. I tried to sound positive, telling her to find a nice rebound. That Sam was a fool for letting someone as perfect as her go. She guessed something was off with me, but fortunately didn't press.

I cut all contact with Bella, my sister, making up excuses about finals and exams that had me studying. But even she wore the same look as everyone else. Her look of pity haunted me in my dreams. It was mixed with a tinge of worry that was not strong enough for her to call Charlie and demand what was happening. Maybe if she lived here, she would try to help me. But she didn't, she was miles away with our mother in Phoenix. Not intend to move to gloomy old Forks anytime soon.

By the third week, I felt as if I was losing my mind. School was over, and I didn't have anything to keep my mind focused on. Maybe all I craved was a proper closure. Ending the years I spent pouring my love into something. But deep down, I knew that the cut they opened with their departure wouldn't heal by simply getting answers. Still, I couldn't know for sure if I didn't try. I called the Lahote residence again, but was met with a mere voicemail. "Fine," I grumbled. I took out the soup I made for Dad from the fridge, and took off.

The engine of the old red BMW roared as I soared through the forest to the familiar town.

Paul's house was small, the light blue color now faded due to the old age of the building. Parking the car in the driveway, I tried ringing the doorbell, but I was met with no answer. The anger ignited again, putting down the container next to the front door, I decided to look around the premises. 

His window was on the other side, overlooking the backyard and forest, but his room was empty, bed undone. The whole room was a mess, clothes lying on the floor, and stuffing of the pillows scattered around. I sighed, looking at the mess, noticing a broken frame in the middle of it.

A photo Leah took of the two of us just two months ago. He looked at me like I hung the moon while I was laughing about something Jared had said. We were celebrating Sam's birthday, and everything was perfect. Maybe not as perfect as I thought. Was he thinking back then about leaving?

Tears welled up in my eyes, stinging. I whipped around, leaving the scene behind me. They were making their way down my cheek as I sped through La Push. Leaving the town behind me, the forest lining the main road became a blur.

Stepping on the brakes, the car came to a screeching halt. I could barely see through the tears. And as much as I was hurting, I was not a reckless driver. Charlie drilled into me how important being a conscious driver was, and how it could save lives. I witnessed firsthand how a car crash could tear a family into pieces. 

My friends might have abandoned me, but the places we used to go to were still here. I hiked through the woods, cursing my past self for picking out a summer dress and flats that were not suitable for Washington conditions. 

After what felt like an hour of a never-ending tangle of greenery, the rays of sunshine broke through.

A soft smile flashed over my face as I sat down, looking over the scenery. The ocean roared just beneath, the salt was heavy in the air even from this distance. It was summer, but the wind was still cold; the only thing making it tolerable was the sun shining high above.

Closing my eyes, memories came rushing through. Of the time I first met him, and how it changed my perspective. Even back then, I knew there was something special about the scruffy kid from Tacoma.

No one wanted to play with him, Leah even stuck her tongue out, when he came to the playground asking if he could play with us. The boys ran each time, not wanting to bond with an outsider.

Not me.

I came over to him, extending my hand toward him. He didn't seem to trust me at first, his eyes narrowed. "I'm Lizzie, let's play together." I smiled, dimples flashing. He slowly took it, a smile appearing not long after. "I'm Paul." He mumbled, and I squeezed his hand before dragging him toward the others.

"This is Paul, he's my new best friend." I flashed everyone a cheeky smile. Leah was not happy I replaced her, so I had to promise her that he was the boy-best friend and she was more like my sister than anything, which she accepted, but I had to pinky promise. Since then, they entered a competition on who would have more of my attention. But both of them held a special place in my heart for different reasons.

Another one flashed by.

He took me to the place we always hang out together when we wanted to get away from our friends. We thought we were being sneaky, but in truth, they always knew where we were venturing off to. But Leah bullied Sam and Jared into giving us space because she knew how much I wanted to spend time with my childhood crush. It was ridiculous since he didn't seem to return those feelings.

We were sitting there, laughing about some gossip, when suddenly he tensed up. The sun was beginning to set, which meant we would have to head back. He turned to face me, blushing.

"I like you. A lot." He said nervously. I never saw him being nervous about anything, much less girls. He always seemed so natural when talking to them, and normally, I was no exception. Blinking a couple of times to shake the thoughts of Paul being with other people, you smiled.

"I like you, too, silly. Took you long enough." Before he could react, I kissed him. It was a sloppy kiss, but a memorable one nonetheless.

A tear slipped down my cheek. I was so exhausted that sleep didn't seem to find me back home. But here, surrounded by all the memories, laughter echoing, my consciousness slipped away from me.

The cold breeze made me jerk awake. The sun was now long gone, the moonlight resting on my face. "Shit, shit, shit." I hastily stood up. Feeling light-headed, I had to find the nearest tree for support. Charlie's going to kill me was the first thought that popped into my head. If I didn't kill myself first trying to get back on the road.

In the daytime, I had no problem navigating the woods. I grew up around here, and it was as natural as breathing. But nighttime was a different story. My inner compass didn't seem to work properly.

I mindlessly sped through the forest, becoming more and more frustrated. Tears were now freely running down my cheek, obscuring my vision further. How could I have been so stupid to go here alone? Not that I had anyone who would accompany me.

The greenery seemed endless, the stray branches lashing my face and hands as I quickened my pace in sheer panic. I stupidly left my phone in the car, dad was probably freaking out already, wondering why I wasn't safe at home.

Lost in panic, my foot caught on a rock, making me lose balance. My ankle caved, twisting at an unnatural angle, as I took a tumble down a small rocky hill. I began to shake uncontrollably as anxiety mixed with pain from my wounds rocked through me, sitting in a little creek that soaked my clothes.

I tried to stand up, but my ankle didn't let me. Sobbing harder, I sat there for what felt like an hour. 

But the inner voice, the one last part trying to keep me sane, urged me to stand up. Get out of the cold water. My scraped palms found slippery rocks, using them to crawl out of the creek one by one.

I was so tired and cold. All I truly wanted was to curl up and just shut my eyes for a little bit, reveling the the sound of his voice. In my nightmares, it usually didn't sound so soft.

"Billy called." Sam's rough voice shattered Paul's train of thought. He barely lifted his gaze to meet his. Being away from Lizzie hurt like nothing he had ever experienced. He didn't understand it. He loved her, but he couldn't have her. Not until he learned to control himself. And even then, the secret was too big for him to risk it. And bringing her in on it was not an option; it would put not only her but the pack in danger. And as much as he hated himself for hurting her, it was the right thing to do. It didn't change the fact that he couldn't bring himself to fully let her go. 

He went to the Swan house just to make sure she was okay every chance he got. His heart was breaking more in the process of being there and not being able to touch her or look into her eyes.

See her smile, which made the colors dance and the world around dim. 

Jared didn't want to patrol with him anymore, since he was so snappy around everyone. And Sam didn't know how to help him, so he let him visit her house, even when he knew how unhealthy it was. He was dealing with taking care of Emily, who was still in the hospital after he had hurt her. Another reason added to the growing list of why Lizzie was better off without him.

But Paul couldn't help himself, something was pulling him to her. And the pain seemed to subdue by a fraction, just to be replaced by his conscience.

"They can't find Liz. She didn't come home from school."

Time slowed. Before Sam could order him anything, Paul bolted out the door. The one time he doesn't accompany her car from school to home, she decides to disappear. All possibilities run through his head like a thunderstorm. What if scenarios that he wasn't able to stop. She could be lying in the ditch somewhere. A car crash. Or a vampire.

He shifted, discarding his clothes in the process. Running through the wood, he tried to catch her scent, any sign of her. His heart was beating faster with every second he couldn't find her. He could hear Sam shouting orders in his mind, but it was all drowned out by his worry for her. It was she who occupied his every thought, his entire existence.

He couldn't understand how she had such a strong hold on him. She always seemed to be the light that shone, guiding him. It was like that since he met her all those years ago.

Running onto the road, not a care in the world that something could hit him. His gaze found a small red car parked at the side of the road, all abandoned.

Her car.

He sent a message through his mind to Sam, informing him of the new development, and took off running.

He knew this part of the forest, and he knew her. If she needed to clear her head, she came here. She always came to this spot with him. Why didn't he think of it? But before he got to it, he caught her scent. She was so close.

The moon was shining, casting shadows on the path. Paul slowed down, changing the course to her location. He could hear her now, quietly sobbing, muttering an incoherent melody. He peeked through the thick greenery, trying not to make a sound. His wolf form was hard to hide, but her eyes were closed. She was shivering, her drenched clothes hanging onto her form.

He stifled a whine coming out of his throat. "I've got her." Sending another mental message down the shared bond between his brothers, he backed up a couple of steps, losing sight of her once again. He shifted back to his human form.

Thankfully, since he and his brothers came to these parts of the woods often, there was a bag of clothes nearby.

Coming back to her, she didn't change her position, still hugging her shivering form. He stepped closer, kneeling before her, but she didn't notice him. She seemed to be lost in a trance. His warm palm found her freezing hand, making her snap out of it. Lizzie gasped out loud, eyes opening in shock, looking around frenzied, disoriented. "Shh, it's me. I've got you." He cooed. 

Her eyes found his, and even in the darkness of the night, he felt it. The world shifted, everything seemed to blur as time slowed for just a second. The bond held him captive.

He was scared, terrified even, to face her after he shifted. Putting her in danger was one of the reasons he distanced himself. But the thought of not having her as an imprint terrified him. 

What if they spend years together just for an imprint to ruin it? Sam tried to fight it, but it was useless. What if he wasn't strong enough to fight it? He couldn't stomach the thought of someone coming between the two of them. He felt conflicted since her being his imprint meant she was a part of this dangerous world now. No way out.

She sobbed, snapping him out of the trance, "Paul?"

He blinked in shock, trying to regain composure. He needed to get her out, preferably to a hospital. "Are you hurt?" He searched every inch of her shivering body, which was now reaching towards him in an attempt to warm itself up.

She nodded, looking down at her ankle. She was missing a shoe, her leg was swollen and red. He reached out to touch it to examine how bad the wound was only for her to wince.

"Let's get you out of here, okay?" He whispered, trying to keep calm even when his own heart was racing. He gently picked her up, letting her put her scraped palms on his chest to warm up.

She didn't speak the whole way to the car, where Jared was already waiting. "Sam went to the Swan house to tell Charlie." He nodded, barely acknowledging him as he put Lizzie in the backseat of her car.

Word count: 1,4k Summary: You and your family enjoy a nice day at the beach A/N: Seasonal depression is gone, so this is a fluffy little blurb. I'm finally writing for acotar again, yey.

Vacation was hard to come by in Velaris, so your family gladly took it when the opportunity arose. Adriata was incredibly beautiful, and the sunshine gave you all the serotonin you needed. After a good amount of reassurance from Varian, Tarquin let you stay at his beach house. Even Cassian was welcomed, sort of. From what you had heard, he wasn't allowed to drink a single drop of alcohol and had to periodically get tested. It was hilarious.

You knew you were under a watchful eye, but the sea made it all worth it. It was so much warmer than what you were used to. Since Night was much colder, especially in Velaris, surrounded by the mountains. The beach was beaming with life as your two little boys played with their father and his shadows in the shallow water. Your heart was swelling at the sight of them smiling and laughing.

''The things I would give to the Mother to bed him. I mean, do you see his body?'' Your fae ears picked up a female's hushed voice. ''Same, dear. Only the Gods know what he could do with those shadows of his.'' Another female replied, smitten with your mate. ''Maybe he is available.'' You rolled your eyes, slightly agitated. Not only was Azriel yours, and these types of conversations were a common recurrence, but you found it highly disgusting to be suggesting something like that while your mate was playing with your two children. Signing, you mindlessly rubbed your growing belly. Thankfully, revenge sometimes finds you naturally.

''Momma!'' Your oldest, Evren, yelled as he ran to you, fully drenched in salty water with his brother and father right behind him. ''Did you see how we built the castle?'' He asked full of excitement and anticipation. ''Yes, it looks stunning, honey. When are we moving in?'' You smiled down at him, ruffing his hair as he laughed, telling you how silly you were for wanting to live in a sand castle. ''Daddy's shadows helped, too.'' Added Rhyo, your younger son, as he came nearer, hand in hand with your mate. ''Hey there, momma.'' Az purred, letting go of Rhyo to lean down and peck your lips. ''EWW!'' Screamed both of your children, earning a laugh from both of you.

''Hush, the two of you, or there will be no story during bedtime.'' Az threatened them jokingly, and as always, it worked. You looked behind you at the females who were all but drooling over your mate just moments ago, only to see them packing and shooting daggers your way. You smiled sweetly, returning your attention to your family.

''You two going to water with us now, sunshine?'' Az asked as he rubbed your swollen belly. ''Only if you help me stand up.'' He just laughed, offering his scarred hands and lifting you with ease. ''I love you, you know that?'' He whispered, not letting go of your hands. Man, was he good at his spying. ''I love you, too.'' You kissed him again, but this time the shadows prohibited the boys from seeing. ''Hey!'' They both squealed, but the shadows disappeared shortly after letting them see just your cheeky grins. ''Wanna show me the castle up close?'' You smiled at them as they nodded, racing towards the water without looking back. You followed close by, wrapping your arms around your mate's waist, slowly letting them drop lower.

''Let's keep it family-friendly here, okay? You know Targuin loves sending us rubies.'' Called Feyre, who suddenly appeared with Rhys and Nyx behind you. ''Nyxie, come see the castle we built!'' Yelled your little ones with glee, making Nyx disappear from beside his parents. Literally, leaving smoke behind him as he reappeared next to Rhyo, who was laughing at his ability. ''At least we wouldn't have to worry about a gift for Amren.'' You laughed while hugging your pregnant sister. ''I still can't believe our timing.'' She shook her head and then glared back at Rhys, who was laughing, probably sending a mental remark her way.

''Me either. I wish I could help you with discomfort, but my hands are tied. Madja says I shouldn't use powers, and Az wholeheartedly agrees, saying that we have been through this already.'' You rolled your eyes, but even if you didn't like it, you agreed with them. Being a healer, you understood the risks of fae pregnancies. Your first gave the two of you quite a scare. But you never complained since it gave you your firstborn, Evren. Ever so serious, as his father often was, you loved him dearly.

''Rhys is unbearable with protectiveness, too. I am shocked he agreed to go to this beach. But I get it, you know how our first went.'' You nodded, not wanting to relive the dread that seized you during your sister's first birth. Keeping her alive when your powers were just developing was harder than anything you had ever experienced. ''I think this time it could be a little baby girl.'' Feyre beamed, changing the topic to something positive. ''You and me both.'' You answered with a smile on your face. You loved having boys, but an image of a little girl with pigtails, running around, never left your dreams.

''If you wanted more children, you should have asked. I would gladly let you keep mine.'' Answered a female with a smirk dancing on her face. ''Nesta, for the last time, stop giving out our child to other beings.'' Called Cassian, earning laughter from our group. 

''It's good to see you made it in good spirits.'' Smiled Rhys when he greeted them. The males instantly formed a group looking after the children so they wouldn't get into trouble. Much like their fathers, they seemed to possess a magnet when it came to these things.

''You're both glowing, but Gods, I wouldn't want to be in your shoes in this heat.'' Said Nesta as she hugged you and Feyre.

''It's killing me, but Az is thankfully occupying the boys so I can rest a bit more.'' You smile, looking at Azriel with a fond smile. You were still smitten, even after all those years. You still couldn't get used to the idea that what felt like many years was nothing in a lifetime of fae. ''I still can't believe we are about to have another child.''

''Neither can I. But can you blame us? Everything is uncharacteristically quiet. And peaceful.'' Added Feyre while watching her mate chuckling at something Cass said.

''Well, you won't see me having another anytime soon. One is a handful. I am convinced she inherited everything from Cassian. Little spawn of Hel.'' Nesta shook her head, but all three of us knew she adored her child. She gave her everything our mother never even attempted to. She may be strict, but that never stopped her from being a good mother, even if she'd worried she wouldn't be enough.

''You know, I thought that people in Adriata are way happier due to the sunshine and everything, but we passed a couple of females in a particularly bad mood.'' Feyre shook her head, making you chuckle. ''I feel like I am to blame for that.'' You admitted trying to at least hide the smirk forming on your lips.

''Excuse me, you? You do realize that is my expertise.'' Said Nesta in disbelief. ''I need details. Spill.'' She continued.

''Well, it was not exactly my fault. One would think that after being mated and having faelings, they would stop drooling over him. But no, and in front of the children at that. It's disgusting.'' You shared, shaking your head in disdain.

''I feel you. I may be a High Lady, but some people still don't get the hint.'' Feyre gave you a sympathetic look. 

''Honestly, why are they even bothering with some old grandpas when we are in the picture?'' Said Nesta quite loudly. ''I heard that!'' Called Cassian back. ''You were supposed to!'' Replied the oldest of the Archeron sisters, earning laughter from all of us.

These days were your favorite. Being surrounded by your family was always what fuelled you, making you happy. Smiling, you looked at your mate, who was always there to return your gaze. Feeling the love he sent down the bond made your heart flutter. After so many hardships, this is what you needed.

TW: light angst, injury, arguments and vulgar language <- Chapter 2 - Carry you home ->

I woke up to a hushed argument. Scrunching my nose, I opened my eyes just to close them immediately after due to the white light. Hospital. How I hated hospitals, the white coats gave me the creeps ever since I was a child. I used to cry and scream whenever Dad decided I needed to see a doctor. Thankfully, I didn't need to see them often.

"Lizzie." Dad ran straight to my bedside, pinning me down so I would stop trying to sit up. "You're in big trouble, young lady." Don't I know it? Confusion melted away as my memories came rushing back. Forest, my ankle, Paul. Paul.

My gaze shifted from Dad's stern look to Paul's tender expression. He was watching my every move. He got me out of the woods, but I couldn't find a reason for him to stay by my side here when he didn't stay by it before. Rather, ditching me without a reason. My eyebrows furrowed in anger before I looked away. "I'm sorry, Dad. I...time slipped away from me. I didn't mean to. And then I couldn't find my way back to the car." I looked down at my hands, which were now both bandaged.

His voice softened, "Sweetheart, you have no idea how worried I was." He gently stroked my hair. "Don't ever do anything like that to your old man."

I chuckled, promising to stay out of trouble. "But I'm still grounding you." That made me sigh, but I understood him. He was a chief of police and saw nasty things. He wanted me to be safe. And it wasn't like I had anywhere to be anyway, not with a cast. "I figured," I replied. He smiled before leaving to get the doctors.

Paul stood near the window, his gaze never leaving me. "I'm not thanking you," I grumbled, the pain of his betrayal still echoing. Much more than a broken ankle. I refused to meet his gaze. He looked so different, his hair cut short. He seemed taller and bulkier than you remembered. And out of his short-sleeved shirt peeked a tattoo. Was that it? Did they become a part of a gang?

"Didn't expect it."

"Then why are you still here?" My voice came out harsher than I anticipated, but he deserved it.

"I needed to make sure you were okay." He replied.

I chuckled sarcastically, "I have a cast, but otherwise I'm alive. Don't let the door hit you on your way out."

"Look, I can't just leave you." He breathed out.

My face hardened into a scoff, "Would have been great if you felt that way a few weeks ago." The mark landed exactly as I intended it to. He flinched, but he deserved my wrath, and he probably knew that. Who did he think he was? Leaving me without so much as a text and then acting like bringing me to the hospital was heroism that erased the shitty thing he did. It was something a decent person would do.

He shuffled nervously, "I had my reasons for leaving. We all did. I want to explain it, I just can't do it here."

"Fine, then leave."

He winced, "Lizzie."

"Get out." I snarled. I never used this voice with him, it didn't come naturally. We never fought with one another, and when we did, it was never over something serious. He looked like an injured puppy, but I couldn't find it in myself to care, even if my heart was begging me to. He was the one who left, and I didn't need him to come back because of pity.

Paul still didn't leave when our fight was interrupted by a foreign voice, "I thought I heard Chief's daughter was here. You gave your father quite the scare, Ms. Swan." A beautiful man walked through the door holding a wooden board. He looked like an angel, but something inside me screamed that he was the opposite. Alarm bells rang danger when there was none. Paul tensed, inching closer to the bed. The doctor stumbled, looking startled for a second, his eyes roaming over my features, a reaction so unfitting of my initial impression of him.

I mumbled, "It wasn't intentional." And it wasn't his business. That was another reason why I hated doctors; they knew my father and thought it was okay to lecture me on his behalf. He smiled, nodding as if sensing that I wasn't buying what he was selling. He began explaining what was wrong with me and what they had done to help me. He kept looking at the board, and when he was finished, he suggested examinig the injury on my head, since I kept touching it and wincing while he was talking.

Paul was now standing right next to me, his demeanor almost protective, "She'd already been checked, doctor." There was a warming lacing his voice. My brows furrowed at his reaction.

The doctor only smiled up at him before standing closer. Paul growled, making my eyes widen in shock. My hand instinctively found his, which snapped his attention back to me. His eyes were narrowed, but soon softened when they searched mine. "When can I go home?" I voiced the question that had plagued my mind ever since I woke up. I didn't mean to be rude, but I wanted to leave the smell of disinfection behind me as soon as possible.

"We'll just keep you until tomorrow for observation, and then you'll be free to go. You took quite the hit to your head, so it's a precaution." He answered my question, I scrunched my nose in discomfort when another surge of pain hit. His gaze shifted to Paul for just a second before he took a step back. "But that cast will have to stay on for at least a month." He added, looking through his notes.

Letting out a defeated breath, I grumbled, "Bye-bye summer." He chuckled lightly, writing something on his board before looking back up.

He was still smiling, and I didn't know whether I felt comforted or not. I couldn't understand why something felt off-putting. Normal people would focus on the dazzling smile and good looks, but my brain apparently took a greater hit than I remembered. "You were very lucky. Fractures similar to yours happen rarely, the healing is not as tidious as it could have been given the location of the wound. If all goes well, it should heal rather quickly."

"I don't feel very lucky," I mumbled, and it was the truth. I already bought a plane ticket to visit Bella in Phoenix, which both of us were looking forward to. But that went flying out the window because my dad won't let me travel next week, which I was sure of. Not to mention how annoying a cast would be in the humidity and heat of Arizona.

He offered a polite smile, "I'll send the nurses in to get you something for the pain."

"Thank you," I said with a tight smile, and with that, he left. His presence made me uneasy, but he gave me no reason to be rude. He was polite and thankfully didn't question Paul's weird behavior, unlike me. Paul huffed, the tension leaving his body. "What is your problem? Is being rude your new profession?"

"It's not my fault, the Cullens are weird." He grumbled.

I shook my head in disapproval, "So what, you condemn a whole family because you don't like their vibe? He seemed nice and professional."

"Don't give that crap, you tensed as soon as he walked through that door." He dismissed me. He might have a point, but I wasn't about to tell him that. Of course, he noticed, I just hoped that the doctor didn't.

"But I was still polite. Unlike someone. And weren't you just leaving?" I said pointedly.

He huffed, "Not with him in the hospital."

"What? Paul, that is crazy. You're acting like a crazy person." My arms went flying; he was ridiculous. He couldn't possibly think this was how a sane person acted. He didn't reply, but rather sat down on the chair close to me. After a couple of seconds just staring at me, I rolled my eyes. "I honestly don't have the energy to fight with you. Rot in that chair if you want to." I snarled, turning slightly so I didn't have to look at him. His being there made me so angry, even if the only thing I wanted three weeks ago was for him to stay. And now that I wanted him gone, he didn't seem to be budging. I hoped Dad would kick him out, so I had a bit of peace.

It's been a week since they let me out of the hospital with crutches and a bunch of painkillers. Dad was adamant I had to rest, which I was less than enthusiastic about. But Paul wholeheartedly agreed with him. Much to my dismay, he didn't want to leave. And since I didn't tell my dad about my friends ditching me, he didn't mind that Paul was around to help him take care of his daughter. If I hadn't threatened him to throw him down the stairs, he would probably have carried me to my room. One thing about Charlie, he didn't seem to care about the changes in my behaviour, explaining it to himself as a result of the pain I was in.

Paul was always around. When I was going outside to enjoy the sunlight? Paul had to sit nearby, watching me. Reading a book on the couch? Paul was sitting in Dad's armchair, watching. He was always there, watching. It was ridiculous. He came in the morning, when Dad was leaving for his shift, and left right before Charlie came back.

I was making dinner, leaving the crutches leaning on the wall, jumping around on one leg to move around. Paul mumbled something about it being dangerous, but one stern look from me, and he fell quiet. I hummed a melody while stirring a pot when I remembered I had forgotten to put chili flakes in it.

Sighing, I opened the cupboard, stretching to retrieve the spice jar. I lost my footing while balancing on one foot. One would think that dancing would help with my coordination, but I still had the Swan gene that made that impossible. The jar slipped out of the cupboard. Before I could swear, a hand snaked around my waist, steadying me, his other hand secured tightly around the jar. "Gotta be more careful, beautiful." His warm breath tickled my neck. He was so warm, I almost didn't want to free myself of his hold.

"Okay, okay. I got it." I huffed, shuffling out of his embrace.

He only chuckled, setting the spice jar down on the counter before sitting back in the chair. I added chili into the pot before putting a lid on it to let it simmer. "Don't you have anything better to do with your free time?"

He smirked, clearly finding this amusing, "Nah, I'm good."

"Fine, then spill. You promised to tell me why you all up and left. But it's been a week and you haven't said a word."

He fell quiet, his demeanor changing to serious. It was like he didn't expect to be reminded of his promise. Which was bullshit, he knew I wouldn't let it go. No one in their right mind would let something like this go. "It's complicated."

I chuckled without an ounce of amusement, "Right. I'm a smart girl, I'm sure I can keep up."

"Lizzie, I...I didn't want to leave. It was for your own good."

That made you chuckle again, "Spare me that bullshit, please. You're better than that."

His eyebrows furrowed, clearly offended by my instigation. "It's the truth."

I shook my head, unwilling to accept his answers. I repeated my question more sternly, "Why did you leave?"

"It's a long story, one you won't believe. I really didn't want you to be a part of this."

My eyebrows went up as hurt shot through me, "Excuse me?" So this was the reason, he didn't want to be with me, but then why spend his time here? I certainly didn't ask him to, I didn't need his pity.

"No- it's not like that. Fuck, I'm already messing up." He started to shake. He stood up, his eyes looking at the palms of his hands. Shaking his head, he paced around the room, breathing heavily. My gaze followed his every move.

"Yeah, you are."

He took a deep breath, trying to stop his trembling. "You don't understand how hard it was to keep my distance."

"I for sure don't. But I wasn't the one making you leave. And now you can't even get out the reason why? You know what? Fuck you!" I yelled the last part out, frustration taking over. He had the audacity to come back, promising me answers he wasn't willing to give. "If you can't tell me, I don't want you around." Hurt flashed across his features, making my own soften. But I couldn't break, not on this. He needed to understand how hurtful not only their decision but also their way of going around it was.

"I can't leave you."

TW: nightmares, hallucination, blood, kind of gory yall a/n: this might just be one of my favorite chapters so far <- Chapter 5 - Reflection ->

Everything was falling back into place. Mostly. I couldn't fully forgive Paul for leaving, as much as I wanted to. It still hurt. Needless to say, he took it like a champ, which I found weirdly endearing. He explained how he needed to run patrols now, meaning he couldn't spend as much time with me as he would have liked. I didn't mind, because he was way more protective than I remembered, hovering over my shoulder as if I would break if he took a step back.

We didn't truly get back together, he insisted we never broke up, to which I argued that ditching me for more than three weeks without a text was a breakup. I understood why he did it, but I wouldn't let him off the hook because of it. He could have sent a message about not feeling well, he didn't need to go fully M.I.A.

I still hadn't talked with Sam or Jared. Mostly because Paul heard me on the phone with Leah one day, where I told her that I wanted to do nothing with him, and if I did get a chance to see him, he would lose his pride and joy. And as much as Paul would find it funny, he really didn't want to risk it. He said that Sam learned the hard way to control himself, and when I asked, he wouldn't elaborate. I thought back on it, remembering the crying woman from my dream, but shook that thought away rather quickly.

I knew they were out there every time I met with Paul in his wolf form. He was so fluffy, and as a wolf, he was quiet, which was much appreciated. Whenever he couldn't hang out in the woods, he stopped by in the evening. I tried to act like it was bothering me, but in truth, I was thankful. It turned my nights into dreamless ones.

Days seemed to flow somehow faster, and I started to miss my friends. Well, mostly Jared and his sense of humor. I still hadn't forgotten Sam for breaking up with Leah. Much less over a text, what a coward. "We could visit them, just say a word." He suggested one night while we were lying in my bed, fingers laced together. "I want to see Jare, not Sam. I'm pissed at Sam, remember?" He laughed it off, but he knew I was serious. "Right, so we can go see Jared. I'm sure he'll be thrilled to learn how much you miss him."

I crawled on his chest, propping myself on one of my hands, while the other was pointing at him, "Don't you dare tell him that, I wouldn't hear the end of it."

He laughed again, throwing his arms around me, trapping me in a hug, "Wouldn't want that." He chuckled. I hummed in response, letting my cheek sit flush against his chest, listening to his heart. The soft melody accompanied my dreams, keeping them brighter. I could have sworn I heard him mumble something, but I was a goner to the world.

I woke up confused and cold. I tapped the bedding beside me, only to realize he must have left a while ago. I sighed, rubbing my face to wake myself up. When it didn't help, I turned, staring at the ceiling. My eyebrows pinched when I tried to put together the dream, but kept drawing a blank. The only image replaying behind my eyes was Pauľs anguished face.

I rolled out of bed, making my way to the bathroom across the hallway. The water took its time to turn steaming hot, nearly burning the flesh of my skin. Wincing, I let it fall down my spine, muscles slowly relaxing under the weight of it. Humming a melody of a long-forgotten song that had suddenly resurfaced, I tried scrubbing the tension and worry off. Steam was clouding the mirror and tiles by the time I exited the shower with a soft smile.

Water dripped in a rhythmic pattern onto the tiles, cold enveloping me as soon as the curtain was opened, the warm towel doing nothing to help fight against it. I took a shaky breath, a cloud of mist appearing as I exhaled. A frown crossed my features as goosebumps coated my body, the little hairs at the back of my neck standing up. I took a step toward the mirror, droplets of water running down it, partially revealing my reflection. I ran my hand across it, removing the steam.

Coming face to face with my reflection, I released a heavy sigh. The lack of sleep must be messing with my mind. l let my head hang low, clutching the edge of the cabinet hard enough to turn the beds of my fingers white. Closing my eyes, I counted internally to try and steady my shaky breath. The cold air enveloped me once more, sending shivers down my spine. My gaze shot up, only to be met with a solemn face staring back, his chopped lips opened slightly, eyes empty, the glimmer of life extinguished by the breath of eternal sleep. Once rich brown skin, ashened, slowly decaying with each passing second, the open wound in his chest surrounded by dried up blood.

A high-pitched scream left my lips at the sight. I stumbled backwards, hitting the wall.

With a blink of an eye, it disappeared as if it had never been there. I stared back at my own reflection, tears blurring my vision. Taking in a gulp of air, filling my lungs to the brink of pain, I came closer to the mirror once more, releasing it. Mist clouded the glass, covering it. My hand shook as it itched toward it ever so slowly. With a quick movement, I wiped it clean, meeting my own eyes. Narrowed, vigilant. Horror filled my thoughts as I realized they didn't mirror the emotions shining in mine. The reflection stared, opening its mouth when mine stayed closed, hissing in a low, almost inaudible whisper, "Mih evas."

A knock sounded behind the door, snapping me out of the trance. "Are you okay in there?" I blinked, responding to him with a shaky voice, "Yeah, I'll be out in a minute."

Since we didn't see each other as often as we used to, Dad and I had decided that having breakfast before he went to work was a new ritual for us to reconnect. I looked back into the mirror, finding only a reflection of reality staring back.

I was reading on the bed when pebbles thudded against the façade. I sighed, "Normal people use doors." I could hear his laughter even behind the closed windows. I opened it, peaking out. "We're going out."

I frowned. "But I have to get ready."

He sighed, faking annoyance. If I didn't know him, I would take it personally. But he loved it when I put on makeup. If he didn't, I wouldn't let him anywhere near me, since I enjoyed it as much as dressing up. It gave me confidence, let me express myself, my personality, and my mood shining through the outfits and colors I chose. "Fine, but I'm going up." He said, already climbing the railing. I grinned, stepping away from the window to let him in. He jumped fairly quickly, making his way to me. "Hey."

The sight of him with a gleam in his eyes, cheeks flushed, a cheeky grin decorating his features, brought tears to my eyes, momentarily blurring the edges of my vision. Without a word, I enveloped him in a crushing embrace, fingers lacing behind his back. Burrowing my face into his chest, I listened to the steady thud of his beating heart. Healthy. Alive.

He let out a gush of air, not expecting the attack. His arms automatically locked around me, one hand caressing my hair in a soothing pattern. "Hey, what's wrong?"

I shook my head, worried if I tried to voice it, it would come out all jumbled. Things between us had just started to turn for the better, only for my mind to ruin it. The image flashed once more, making me flinch. "Bad dreams?" He asked, voice hushed as if scared if he raised it even by a decibel, I would break completely.

I hummed, nodding into his chest. His arms tightened, his fingers drawing circles on my back. He didn't say anything for a while, quietly rocking us, never faltering. The steady beat of his heart calmed the rugged beat of mine.

I slowly let go, not daring to look up and meet his gaze. "Thank you," I mumbled. 

He answered with an easy-going smile, "If you ever need to talk about it, I'm here to listen."

"I know. I just-" I stopped myself, reconsidering, "Promise me you'll be careful out there."

Paul's smile turned into a grin, breaking the solemn spell falling upon us. "Always am. Have to be, when I have you to come back to."

I shook my head, smiling. "That you do. So don't be reckless. I can't lose you." I looked into his eyes, finding a gleam of adoration and pure love shining in them. His gaze shifted to my lips for a second before searching my eyes for permission. My hands found his cheeks, cupping them. I gave him a peck, feeling his palms resting on my hips, pulling me closer. "Step by step, remember?" I whispered, and he groaned softly. 

"I know, I know." He didn't let go, his hands squeezed my hips. I let my cheek rest on his chest, hands traveling to his waist. His body temperature was a calming presence. With my anemia, it was a gift sent from heaven. I sighed into the hug, making him chuckle.

I lost count of the minutes we stayed in a comfortable silence, standing in an embrace in the middle of the room. "We should go, right?" I mumbled into his chest, not moving an inch. He grumbled a soft no, pulling me even closer. I giggled, breaking off. "But I'm curious." Looking up at him, he seemed to think about it. He was comfortable right where he was; that much was obvious, but it was his idea to go somewhere. "Fine, go get ready." He let go of me, plopping onto the bed.

"On it." I spent the next thirty minutes choosing the right outfit, finding every single item in my closet flawed. I settled on a summer dress, the one I last wore the night I got lost. Paul didn't comment on it. The only confirmation I got that he noticed was the narrowing of his eyes.

"Where are you taking us? I thought we were going to Jare's." I frowned when he didn't turn in the direction of La Push.

He grinned, keeping his gaze on the road ahead. "I never said that." I narrowed my eyes at him, pursing my lips, mind reeling at the possibilities. He chuckled, taking hold of my hand, lacing his fingers with mine, and squeezing it. "Come on, you'll probably love it."

"Probably?" I laughed.

He grinned again, "I'm hopin' you will." I shook my head. But I seriously didn't have a clue as to what he could have prepared. We were heading in the direction of Port Angeles, that much I knew. "You're so full of yourself. Can I guess?" My eyes lit up.

He chuckled, "Have at it, I doubt you'll get it."

"Hey, have faith in me!" I forfeited taking offense to his statement, free hand flying to rest on my chest.

"I do, beautiful. But I'm just a genius when it comes to romantic gestures." I cocked one of my eyebrows. Boy, he had such an ego, but he also did have a heart to match it. "Romantic, you say?" I laughed.

"Y'know it." He put my hand, still laced with his, to his lips, softly kissing it, earning an involuntary blush from me. Why was it so hard to resist him? I woke up today, prepared to not give him my heart for free, but what could I do when he already had it secured in his hands, but he didn't know it. Or by the way, he was now smirking; he probably knew and was taking advantage of it. What a lovable idiot.

I stayed quiet for a little bit, pursing my lips. "What could we do in Port Angeles?" I mumbled more to myself, making him chuckle. "It has to be something that doesn't involve walking." I continued. Based on my recent visit to the hospital, it will take at least one more week for them to remove the cast. I was so sick of it at this point.

He chimed in, "Not necessarily, I could and I would carry you."

I rolled my eyes, "Absolutely not, you know I wouldn't let you. So again, what else? Cinema? Restaurant? No, why would we go to a restaurant there when we could go to La Push, where we know everyone and the food is amazing?" I continued mumbling, which made him chuckle. He was probably having a field day with my inner monologue not being so inner. "Are we going to the pier? Or the aquarium?" I looked at him expectantly.

"I'm not telling you anythin', it's a surprise."

"But I want to know, please." I mastered my puppy eyes when I was around two years old, and I wanted an expensive Barbie doll that I saw in a commercial. Dad didn't approve, but one look into my eyes and a little plea, and he was a goner. Anytime my friends and I would get into any sort of trouble, which wasn't often, I would use them to lessen his anger. It worked like a charm every time. And let's just say, Paul usually wasn't as immune as he liked to be.

His gaze shifted to mine for a second, and his smile disappeared. He opened his mouth to say something, but blinked before he could. He snapped his head to the road, slowing down, pulling to the roadside as much as he could. I frowned at his sudden change in mood and behaviour, but not even a second after, two cars emerged from a turn, going at least 100 miles an hour. Silver Volvo was in our lane, cutting in front of the other car just in time to avoid a collision. If it hadn't been for Paul's reaction, they would have hit us. They flew by, without a care in the world, continuing on their way. "Idiots," We grumbled at the same time, laughing at our simultaneous reactions, the guessing game forgotten.

The car came to a halt in an empty parking lot. When the engine stopped rattling, I opened the door to find Paul already waiting outside, helping me hop out of the truck. "Thank you," I mumbled. He handed me the crutches with a cheeky smile. "We're not at the place yet, are we?"

"It's close." He promised, locking the truck and leading the way. My eyes widened when we turned around the block to see the Event Hall. I snapped my head in his direction. He was already grinning at my reaction. "Are we?" He nodded, and I squealed like a little kid who just got the perfect present from Santa. The crutches landed on the pavement with a loud thud as I hugged him tightly.

I wanted to see Swan Lake for ages, it was my favorite ballet show by far. The love and heartbreak of the whole act was perfection. A timeless tale told for more than a century and still beloved by thousands. It was the first ballet I ever saw, making me fall in love with it instantly. It was my first love when it came to dancing. Carpooling to Port Angeles with Rebecca and Rachel had become a distant memory, that echoed from time to time with heartache. Ever since I got into high school, I haven't had much time to fully focus on it, so I only took contemporary dance lessons to have a creative outlet.

"I know how much you miss dancing. Especially now that you can't dance."  He looked down at my cast, his smile turning downright. He blamed himself for the night in the forest, and while I tried to ease his guilty conscience, he just wouldn't let it go.

"Thank you, thank you, thank you," I said giddily, almost jumping out of the place. His sour mood lifted, and he laughed. Leaning down, he picked up the crutches, handing them to me. But before I took them, I planted a soft kiss on his lips. His eyebrows shot up as he froze, just for him to continue the kiss a second later, smiling into it. I pulled away, taking the crutches from him.

a/n: Can y'all believe we're on chapter 10 already? Thought my babies deserved a little bit of happiness <- Chapter 10 - All that you rely on ->

Just four days later, Paul was in perfect health, like nothing ever happened. The wolf gene repaired all the physical damage. Yet, I couldn't bring myself to leave his side, even when I wanted to; it was like an instinct taking over. More accurately, a fear. I was scared to go to sleep because I wasn't handling the fact that my nightmares came true.

I went to the elders for a piece of advice, which resulted in more questions than answers. They suggested that maybe it was part of being an imprint, but that didn't make sense, since Emily didn't dream of the future that came in puzzles rather than a complete image. They offered to look into more legends to try and find out, but so far, nothing has come out of their research.

The only silver lining was that the Clearwater had finally returned from their travels. Sue cleared Paul, which relieved my conscience. I spent the whole day with Leah, but it didn't feel the same. I hated obscuring the whole truth from her, but Sam prepared me that it needed to be done.

Paul took me to one of the meetings, since I was officially a part of the pack. We were careful around each other, walking on eggshells. I wasn't ready to forgive him, but I couldn't leave his side in fear of what might happen. And he was just as unbearable. Anytime we were out and someone just looked at me funny, he snapped. Which resulted in us working on his temper in the spare moments. He wasn't allowed to go on patrols, so he was becoming extra anxious.

We sat quietly around the fire, listening to the legends told by Harry and Billy. I couldn't help but be enchanted by their rich history. I was used to the bonfires and legends, and heard them times and times over; only now, those legends hold a different meaning, because they were a tangible part of who the pack was.

Paul went to get us some food, while I stayed near the fire, trying not to freeze. Harry took the opportunity to occupy the vacant seat next to me on the log, offering a smile. "I always thought you two had a special connection."

"Yeah, I just didn't think it would be this complicated." My smile was somewhat sad as I let my head rest on his shoulder.

He chuckled, his arm snaking around my shoulders, "Sweet girl, it always is."

"I'm sorry for what happened with Leah. I don't know how to help her through it without giving out the secret," I said quietly.

He gave my shoulder a tight squeeze before speaking out, "It's not your fault. It wasn't meant to be, she'll understand one day after she stops hurting."

"I hope you're right," I whispered, letting my eyes watch the flames dancing in the wind. "Harry?" I said a moment later, voice barely above a whisper.

"Hm?" He answered with a hum, his head turning to face me. I paused, my gaze not faltering from the flames. I watched as they swayed, changing colors from yellow to deep orange. As my eyebrows knitted together, I opened my mouth to speak up, "I've been having dreams. Unsettling ones. They are keeping me awake at night, and I-II- I think that they are trying to warn me." I gnawed on my lip, waiting for a response.

"I take it they are not warning you off for your safety."

I shook my head, eyes leaving the flames to look up at him, "I've seen him dead, Harry."

His sharp inhale broke the silence between us that stretched, accompanied by the sizzling of the fire, as a pity flashed in his gaze. “Lizzie…”

“It almost happened. And I couldn’t stop it.” Tears coated my throat, making it hard to get out words. His hand squeezed my shoulder, bringing me into a tight embrace.

We sat there for the light from the fire illuminating our forms, as tears fell down my cheeks, the sobs too quiet for human ears to pick up.

He broke the embrace, his hands sitting on my shoulders, a comforting weight. He offered a small smile as his fingers brushed away the stray tears. I found myself returning the smile as we turned to face the fire again.

After a beat of silence, his voice boomed to life again. “You remind me of your grandmother.”

I responded with a hum, eyebrows knitting together. I remembered bits and pieces of my grandparents, the memories painfully locked away, only the happy ones remaining. Christmas’ full of laughter and presents, showing them the new shiny toy. They both died when we were little, following each other within a month or so, as if their souls couldn’t bear to be apart.

He continued, eyes roaming my face as if to find physical similarities. “Helen was…Charlie didn’t like to talk about it, but she was different. The talk of the town, really. Whenever Billy and I visited, she was nothing but kind. She and her friends were special, and that’s why people in Forks judged her. It was fear of the unknown.”

“So you’re saying I’m weird just like my grandma? What a relief, it’s a family trait.”

He laughed, shaking his head. “That’s not what I’m saying, and you know it. She also had visions; she saw you and Bella coming before anyone else did. It freaked Renée out.”

I snorted, vividly imagining my mother’s face when she learned she not only had to put up with one child, but two at the same time. “That I believe.”

“My uncle was quite smitten with your grandmother; she had these eyes that could capture you, and if it were up to her, never let you go. She never had to worry that Charlie wouldn’t listen to her, let me tell you that.” He chuckled, remembering the good old days.

A sad smile crossed his features. “She was always welcomed in La Push. Came here often to visit my mother and her sister-in-law, Molly. Her coven, they said. They were inseparable, always cooking up something. A mischievous bunch. When Molly died, they lost their spark, and it wasn’t long after when they followed.”

The fire swayed in the wind, hues of orange and yellow dancing and changing. Laughter reached us as the guys returned from the kitchen, hands full with trails of food. “The tribe might not have all the answers to your questions, but maybe your house will.” He smiled down at me before standing up, leaving the spot vacant for Paul.

“Thank you, Harry.”

“Always here to help. Remember that.”

I must have dozed off, because I could feel someone moving me, whispering something, shushing other voices surrounding us. Heat was radiating from his body, his distinct scent giving him up. "Put me down, you're hurt."

His chest vibrated with laughter, "'m not. Go back to sleep, yea?" I frowned, but kept my eyes closed, snuggling into his chest, chasing the warmth he offered. Only it was torn away moments after, when he put me into his truck, making the frown deeper. The door opened on the other side, and he sat behind the wheel. "Come on, it's not that cold." He laughed when I put my arms around my torso, trying to warm myself up.

"Says someone who can't get cold," I muttered, irritated.

He laughed again, putting his hand on my thigh, the intimacy of the gesture making me stop for a second. "Sorry," He swiftly removed it, starting the truck in an awkward silence. I propped myself up, scooting on the seat to sit closer to him, setting my head on his shoulder. "You're making it hard to stay mad at you."

"It's my only flaw." He chuckled.

I rolled my eyes, grumbling, "One of many." He snorted, shaking his head, but continued driving in silence.

When he stopped the truck in the driveway, I didn't move an inch. "We should get you home. Sleep's important."

I stayed quiet for a while, fixing my gaze ahead. My face crumbled at the word sleep that kept replaying like an echo in my mind.

"But I'm scared to go to sleep. Every time I close my eyes, I'm terrified of what I might see next. And even when I tell someone, it still happens. I can't stop it from happening." I whispered, looking ahead.

"That doesn't mean we can't be more prepared when it does. It might not seem helpful, but it is. Promise." He snaked his arm around my shoulders to pull me into a tighter side hug. I nodded, staying silent. He was right, of course, he was. But I didn't tell him the whole truth. I might be able to see certain events before they had the chance to happen, but I was still a human. And my dreams were haunted by the vision of him, lying on the table, covered in blood.

He was a calming presence, his warmth lulling me to sleep when I wanted to defy it with all my might. When he noticed the battle I was slowly losing, he whispered into my hair, his voice gentle, "Wanna know what I see when I fall asleep?"

I hummed, prompting him to continue, "You, happy and safe."

Sunbeams were dancing across the leaves, creating different shades of green that illuminated our cheeks. The wind picked up, rustling the branches and carrying the scent of pine.

Moss covered most of the path, only letting a few roots peek through. The sound of chirping echoed around our moving forms, deepening the serenity that the forest brought.

Paul’s chuckle brought me back to reality, the spark in his eyes radiating as he spared me a look. His warm fingers were locked with mine, guiding me through the thick flora, making sure I didn't lose my footing. A little line appeared between my brows. “What?”

He grinned, shaking his head as he continued walking, looking ahead. “Nothin’.”

“No, no. Say it. No more secrets, remember?” I squeezed his hand, tugging him toward me. He didn’t stumble, but stopped in his tracks.

He turned, not letting go. “I’m pretty sure this doesn’t count into that. But to feed your curiosity, I find it adorable how easily you get lost in your little world.”

“It’s not little. And it’s not my fault the forest is this mesmerizing. I needed time away from the chaos.” I narrowed my eyes at him before continuing walking, tugging him with me.

He chuckled, rolling his eyes, but followed like a little harmless puppy. His demeanor had been relaxed for the whole hike, a rare sight these days, but his gaze swept the shadows every now and then, checking for signs of danger.

The branches gave way, letting the sun in as we finally arrived at the clearing. A beautiful meadow stretched around us, the colors of various wild flowers fluttering in the breeze as if in a choreographed dance.

The sound of running water, chirping birds, and the buzz of bees carried through the wind as we put down the picnic blanket. The scenery caused a smile to spread across my face, eyes closing for a moment to take it in.

Paul didn’t let it stop him, already reaching into the backpack for the food. “I made chicken sandwiches, grilled cheese ones, and for dessert, there's banana bread with chocolate chips. I also cut some veggies to stay at least a little bit healthy.” I stretched before sitting down as he rummaged through the boxes, laying them on the blanket.

His eyes grew larger, devotion shining in them. “I don’t tell you enough, but you’re an angel, beautiful.”

I chuckled, shrugging, “Can’t have my man starve now, can I?”

“Your man, huh?” A smirk spread across his features.

“Only if you’re a good boy.”

He groaned, “Enough with the dog jokes.”

I laughed, lying down, eyes closing as I made myself comfortable, leaving the shoes to the side. The hike was my idea. It was a chance to get away from the prying ears and eyes at the pack house. Jared couldn’t stop with his teasing, and Paul’s temper wasn’t handling his jokes well. At all.

I insisted we needed to spend time together, to learn to trust one another and repair the damage the situation caused to the bond and our relationship. Even if it meant we needed to take small steps in order to do so.

Both of us enjoyed hiking, even if it now posed danger, I fully trusted Paul to protect us, but I could feel it in my bones, there wouldn’t be a reason for it. Not today.

The sun disappeared under a grey cloud, spreading shade across the meadow. Opening my eyes, I turned to face the one person who occupied my every thought.

His mouth was already stuffed with a sandwich, half of it gone. I laughed, leaning to capture a handful of cut red peppers. “Like it?”

He hummed, nodding while biting off another chunk. “I was talking with Emily the other day after the bonfire, and she shared the muffin recipe you guys like so much. We actually thought of it baking together for the next bonfire.” I chimed in, watching his eyes grow larger.

He swallowed, the sandwich gone completely within seconds, asking, “The blueberry ones?”

I nodded, smiling. “The one and only.”

“Did I ever mention how much I love you?”

“Once or twice. Not nearly enough,” I grinned, stuffing my mouth with a piece of banana bread.

“Oh really?”

I nodded, humming, popping in another bite. “You really need to step up your game, if you’re to leave the friend zone, as Jared loves to point out.”

He tackled me just as I swallowed, his body leaning over mine, heat radiating from him. The closeness of him offering a sense of comfort and safety. He held himself up with one hand, the other traveling over my stomach, tickling it.

Laughter erupted from me, echoing in the empty meadow. I struggled under him, throwing my hands up to fight the losing battle. I reached a sensitive spot under his arm, evening the ground. As he lost his balance, I shuffled myself out of his reach, standing up.

With heavy breath, I made a couple of steps back before his gaze snapped to mine, a feral grin spreading across his features. “You better run.”

He didn’t need to tell me twice as I laughed, already turning to retreat as quickly as my legs allowed me to. I could hear him behind me, heavy footsteps nearing in a record time.

Arms enveloped around my waist, caging me in and stopping me in my tracks. His hot breath tickled as his lips leaned toward the back of my ear, gently kissing the sensitive skin surrounding it. “I love you.” He whispered.

“I know,” I said, a sound barely audible. He turned me, not letting go, if anything, his hold tightened yet still gentle as if I were to break. His eyes searched mine for a second. “I love you.”

I smiled before my gaze dropped down to the ground. I loved him, I was never sure of anything in my life as much as I was of this. The feeling never disappeared, even if it wavered. And as much as I wished to shout it until my throat burned, I could bring myself to do so, the events of the last two months blocking it.

His hold eased up, the hammering of his heart audible even to a human ear. I bit down on my lip till it hurt, nearly drawing blood. He let go, giving me a small smile that didn’t reach his eyes. Turning, he retreated to the blanket.

Quickening my step, I caught up to him, my hand reaching out to his, fingers locking together. He glanced down at the entwined fingers, the symbolism of it not lost on him as a bigger smile spread on his face.

“We’ll get there,” I said, prompting him to look up to catch the dimples decorating my cheeks. He brought our locked hands to his mouth, leaving a kiss on the back of mine. “Promise.” He rasped, his breath tickling my skin.

“I promise.”

Breeze tickled my cheek, playing with the strands of my hair as I layed on the picnic blanket, humming a soft melody. A lullaby long forgotten resurfaced as the images flew behind my closed eyes.

Grandma Helen’s kind eyes, her presence always calming, her voice never wavering until her dying breath. The lullaby she sang, even when dementia took over her mind forever, edged into my memories.

The stories she used to share, mere fairy tales mixed with the adventures her friends used to have before they grew apart. The book that seemed to come alive whenever she opened it to refresh her memory on what to tell her grandchildren next.

“I know that song.”

I stopped, eyes flying open, “It’s what my grandma used to sing to get me to sleep.”

“Hm, interesting.”

Frowning, a question left my lips, “Why?”

“I swear I heard it somewhere before.” He shrugged.

“Well, it’s a really old song, probably nothing original. But she insisted it’s a protection against all evil and whatnot.” I laughed, turning to face him, focusing on the sketch book in his hands.

A smile spread across my face. “You’re drawing again?”

He didn’t share this with anyone, assuming people would tease him for it. He was supposed to be all tough and unrefined, and drawing didn’t mix well with his reputation. But it was something he naturally gravitated toward, something that brought him not only peace, but also happiness.

He nodded, sparks of said emotion flashing in his eyes. “It’s been a while, might be a little rusty. It also ain’t finished yet.”

I propped myself up, grinning, “Well, I’m sure it’s good either way.”

He laughed, turning the sketch around, the uncanny likeness of the portrait causing my breath to catch. The lines were a bit messy, shining light on his personal art style. The flowers in the distance a mere afterthought as he solely focused on capturing the emotion shining in my eyes whenever I opened them to spare him a look while my mind wandered.

The bed of my thumb gently moved across the smile he immortalized on paper. “It’s beautiful.”

“Yea, I had a good model.” His face converted into a characteristic smirk. I rolled my eyes, setting the notebook down as I sat up.

“I heard you’ve been dancing again.”

I nodded, “I’ve been cleared to do so, I’ve been taking full advantage of that. You have no idea how much I missed it. It’s like a part of me was ripped away after the accident.”

His gaze darkened as he muttered the next words. “I’m sorry.”

I shook my head, pointing my index finger in his direction. “Don’t give me that look, it’s not your fault.”

“Isn’t it? I feel like if I hadn’t left you, you wouldn’t have gone into the woods. Not alone.” He scoffed, a sound void of all emotions.

The air around us tensed as the world seemed to slow down in comparison to my hammering heart. “Maybe, but I can always trip somewhere else. Besides, we’ve been over this. I don’t hold that against you, not anymore.”

“Right, we’re currently on the whole imprint thing.”

I shook my head in disbelief. He didn’t understand it. “No, we are currently working through how you decided not to tell me, and I have to come to terms with the fact that you might not have come back if you hadn't imprinted.” I bit back.

The wound opened up again, holding me hostage as tears threatened to spill. He still didn’t understand why I made such a huge deal out of it. Why him not telling the truth hurt, and why the bond felt like it was tearing us apart, even if it was supposed to do the opposite. 

He shook violently, frustration building up as his body tensed. He took a deep breath, closing his eyes, before opening them, his shoulders slumping a little, telling me of his self-control.

"I choose you. I choose us. Because you’re…you. You’re smart, funny, and you smile even when the world doesn’t deserve it. Nothing could ever change that. To be honest, I believe that in every lifetime, it's you. It's you I look for in the crowd. It's the thoughts of you that can calm me down, even when I think I'm gone. You are my choice. And the bond only solidified that choice that I would have made if I had more time to adjust."

He whispered, his eyes searching mine, "It has always been you."

My heart was beating faster than a hummingbird's wings, threatening to leap from my chest at any second. My cheeks were now hot to the touch as my lips searched for words that didn’t seem to come out.