More Mass Effect Commentary with Bro
Important info: We started ME3 and I forgot to log the end of ME2 bc I am a fool
Me @ the uploaded Shepard model: I hate her eyebrows and her neck is too thick. what. the heck. I didnt sign up for this.
Me: your walk cycle hurts me and I hate it please go away
Me: Bioware. hun. bby. Sweetie. I love you. but why.
Armor: *Looks like Iron man*
Me: *gASP* BRO I WANNA BE IRON MAN
Bro: we will be iron man. We will save up 55,000 credits and be iron man.
Bro: and then we will purchase the iron man shuttle mod.
Bro: and then we will finally be iron man.
Me: Well. Iron woman. Bc our Shepard is a girl.
Bro: well yes.
Estiban, a side character: I had a husband back home. Collectors killed him.
Me: well dang. Casual gay character is casual. Alright then. Way to go ME3.
Bro, seeing the galaxy map for the first time: *GASP* IT'S LIKE GALACTIC CONQUEST(og Battlefront 2)
Me: *sCrEAMING*
Bro, watching Turians getting slaughtered by the reaper forces: Oh no
Me, seeing Reaper nyooming thrateningly toward one cruiser: OH no
Reaper, approaching a Turian cruiser and menacingly opening it's claw arms as it blasts it out of the sky: OH YEEEAAS
Glyph: *exists*
Me, vibrating and about to cry: I W I L L G L A D L Y D I E F O R H I M
Garrus: *appears*
Me, shrieking: GARRUUUSSSS!!!! HEY GARRUS!!! HI!!!!
Garrus: I jave a family on my home planet. My father, a sister...
Me, seconds away from combustion: GARRUS HAS A SISTER AND I'M GOING TO C R Y
Me, upon first seeing a brute: OH IT'S A BEEEG BOII
Brute: *deep throated guttural roar*
Me: AN ANGRY BOI
Brute: *jumps*
Bro, panicking and running away at -3 health: IT CAN JUMP. IT J U M P S.
Me: w h a t.
Joker: Edi's gone offline she's not responding--
Me: EDI EDI NO EDI EDI EDI EDI EDI COME BACK EDI NO I WILL CRY IF SHE'S DEAD NONONONO
Edi: *inhabits a new robot body and is now an android*
Me:..........
Me: nice
Shepard: You should test out your new body before accomoanying me on any missions Edi.
Edi, her robot body with *ahem* exaggerated feminine features: I will do that. Joker would like to see this vessel. *walks off*
Shepard, actually for real in the game: Yeah I bet he will...
Me: I mEAN-- YOU'RE NOT WRONG...
Me: I'm sorry. I don't trust Admiral Hackett. He could be amazing but he's too suspicious.
The Elusive Man: Let's get the secret tech that causes mind problems and makes people go crazy and use it to defeat the Reapers, who are immune to this technology and also invented it.
Me, Bro, Shepard, and the entire galaxy: That is a terrible idea what the hecc is wrong with you.
Elusive Man: you just dont get it do you. Youre dooming humanity with your refusal to see the truth.
Me, Bro, Shepard, and the entire galaxy, sipping on our tea and defeating the Reapers without using their tech bc we arent idiots: Uh-huh. For sure.
ME3 production team: *makes Liara's boobs bigger*
Me: thanks I hate it.
Jack: *has a new life as a teacher at a military school*
Jack: *teaches biotic kids*
Jack: *will die AND/OR kill for her kids without a single second of thought*
Jack's kids: *would probably do the same and have enormous respect and companionship with her*
Jack: *is becoming a much better person and even cuts down on her language around them bc that was one of the things she agreed to upon getting the job and loves her kids so much she doesnt care*
Me:
Me: IN THIS HOUSE WE DRINK RESPECT GOOD CHARACTERS/GOOD CHARACTER DEVELOPMENT JUICE!!
Me, every time something happens in mass effect(all games): OKAY BUT MASS EFFECT IS SUCH A GOOD GAME AND--
