#me.cpp

1. bdubs. i want to put this man in a blender i want to glue him to the wall like a dartboard i want to splash him with a few drops of water so that he microwaves well i want to crinkle him up like paper and chew on him. he would bite me and i would catch every disease ever

2. cleo. p,,pretty zombie lady,,,,,,, red hair and Evil............... 😳

3. jevin. is he made of goop or bones. i think it's goop and when i punch him my hand will sink into his body this man is made of non-newtonian fluid and i am armed with seventeen bendy straws of unreasonable silliness

4. grian. he's like the meme of the smug cat surrounded by knives, punching him would be so satisfying but he would hold up a bucket and as i go to punch him my hand would get stuck in the bucket and he would mock me for looking stupid because my hand is stuck in a bucket

5. mumbo. i'd fight him because i know i'd win. he smells like prey

6. tango. he would make very fun noises as i hit him with a brick, he is a very squeaky flavor of man.

7. keralis. he's, like, deceptively good at pvp??? specifically running away???? i'd be running around trying to catch him for like two hours while he occasionally divebombs me and makes vaguely lewd references to my mother. 10/10

8. wels. he'd fight with honor and i would love to beat him with the old pocket sand trick and/or pantsing him

9. iskall. he's a really talented pvp'er and easygoing, i feel like i would have a lot of fun fighting him and learn a lot of stuff. i definitely wouldn't win most of our fights but i'd enjoy them just the same. he seems like a pretty good sport :)

10. false. she's talented and i would like to have a friendly sparring match with her :)

11. pearl. listen she;s a prety lady am i supposed to say "NO miss moon i don't wanna spar you" like??? of course i'll fight her 😳

12. stress. i feel like she deserves to go a little bit feral <3

13. beef. shaped like a friend. would have fun sparring

14. hypno. i don't know him very well but i am always down to attack <3

15. xb. same as hypno but his name has an x in it which makes him at least 12% cooler

16. zedaph. he's just a little science guy your honor. i feel like i would seek him out with the intention of beating him up for his lunch money and three hours later i would find myself balancing apples on top of my head while he shoots them off with a cannon wondering how did i get here

17. cub. i'd do it if provoked but otherwise no. there would be consequences for my actions and i'm not accustomed to facing those

18. impulse. his voice sounds like a smile, you're telling me i'm meant to viciously bite and kill and murder him?? :((

19. joe. let's just say that while joe himself is very beat-uppable, he's way smarter than i'll ever be and he'll probably figure out a dozen ways to be maliciously compliant and ruin my day. also, joe is fuck around and cleo is find out and i want to be prepared when she stands behind me with a wide grin and a baseball bat full of nails

20. ren. this man is just living his life, roleplaying his little heart out. i'll give the no-beating-up-privileges pass to ONE (1) theater nerd. wilbur soot eat your heart out

21. gem. MY LITTLE SCRUNKLY POO 🥺 MEOW MEOW HONKA WIMBUS ❤️💓💖💗 ia m gay

22. scar. physically, i could kill him, but emotionally? never. plus he'd probably make me severely regret it, being one of the reigning kings of Shenanigans

23. doc. he has an intimidating voice but i am 100% sure i could beat him up if i really wanted to . sure he can fight but will he? probably not. why would i want to beat him up, though? he's the goat. he is a wet sock and i am going to put him in the dryer set to low heat, delicates only

24. etho. he'd probably kick my ass if i stepped to him, and whether i beat him or not i'd probably be pranked for the rest of my days

25. tfc. if you'd fight tfc i'll fight you. tfc has actually done nothing wrong in his life, ever,