here is the name of product

here is what we designed it to do

here is what it does

here are downsides

Gees, you're tall.

"Taller than the last time you two met."

How?

"His feet grew back."

'His'? We humanizing them now?

"I- I can speak... for myself."

Oh God it's sentient.

"I was always a person."

Forgive me, but you're a lot different to any person I know.

"I... understand."

Oh hey now buddy. I didn't mean to make you sad. It's just a lot to take in.

"Your kind sees me as a creature, an object."

[inhales] You know it's hard not to. It's like a reflex, I can't help it. But now I know I'm gonna try to treat you with respect, okay?

"Tall ask."

"Shut up, we're talking."

"I- understand this might be difficult for you. I'm sorry."

Hey, stop that. You've got nothing to apologize for. I'm the one that should be saying sorry. It's just very hard to- when there's no face and- I'm trying my best here. I just want you to feel safe.

"That means a lot to me. More so than being like a person."

"Now kiss."

"Can you like... be somewhere else right now?"

"Not unless you want to be left alone, in here, with him."

You know what sure. Get the %@$# out. We are having a pleasant conversation.

"if you say so. I'll be back if I hear screams."

"I don't like him."

Well you don't get to choose the friends you have. He's helpful and right now that's the best we got.

"I'm female."

Whoa! Where did that come from?

"You two keep calling me 'he'."

Oh it's because err... When we know something has a sex, but we don't know what sex it is, we say it's a he.

...

"Sorry, I had to correct the translator there. In your language the word for sex is also the word for sex."

That didn't translate correctly but I understood.

"intercourse."

Yes, yes, I got it.

"sounds like male and female sex."

Yep, yep, still got it.

"But there are a lot of things you call female, which don't even have a sex."

Huh?

"Like boats for example. 'She's a fine ship.' etc."

Oh, right.

"So shouldn't the default be 'she' and not he?"

I dunno man. It's just what I was taught. I don't know why. You just get used to it.

"You learned. Like you learned to hate me, to judge me as inferior."

[deep breath] Maybe. The world's not that great. It's got problems. Sometimes those problems get carried down the generations. It wasn't too long ago that niggers like me were treated like animals. I guess some of that carries down too. That's why I became a fireman. I wanted to help people. People who'd been mistreated like me growing up. Now I'm putting you through the same wringer. I hate myself for that, but I can't stop it, it comes natural now.

...

Don't worry buddy. We'll get there in the end.

Oh gees, claw hands on the shoulder. That's a bit much. Give me some space.

"I appreciate that you're trying. You're a good person."

I'm not a good person, not really. I've done a lot of bad things.

"The fact you see them as bad is a sign that you are good."

That's... weirdly profound.

"For me?"

Wh- wait.

"That's what you meant isn't it?"

...yes.

"I'm not stupid. Maybe not exactly wise, but not mentally deficient. I just find communicating in your language difficult."

Sorry, it's a lot to take in. Not too long ago I was just a fireman. Now I'm battling secret government organizations, with strange lifeforms with superpowers and junk. I'm still adjusting.

"As am I. This world is strange to me also."

You know it's nice, actually having a real conversation after all this time. That other guy can be a bit- abrasive.

"I'm enjoying our conversation just as much."

Are you coming onto me? It's hard to tell?

"No no. Nothing like that."

Because the way you're-

"Just checking no-one's dead in here."

We're fine.

" 'Fine'? Seriously? I guess I'll leave you little love birds together."

No, %@$#, get back here!

"Make lots of weird babies you two."

What a %@$#hole.

"Am I getting too familiar too quickly?"

Nah it's fine. He's a jerk. Just probably don't act this forward around him. He's the kind to take it the wrong way.

"What does that mean?"

[sigh] Don't worry about it. Just- You know, if you're ever in trouble, you can call me about it. I'll try to help as best I can.

"Thank you. You're a good friend."

Yeah well, I think I need a break.

"From me?"

You know what, yeah, from you. I'm not gonna sugar coat it. Talking to you is like wading through taffy. It's no your fault but it's hard for me to look at you. Sorry about that.

"I'm glad you tried so long."

You know what? Me too. I'll stop by later after I've had time to process everything. I can't say when that is. I don't even know myself. Just, try to stay out of my hair for a while unless it's urgent.

"Thank you. I'm glad to have you as a friend."

And me you. You're a good listener, if that's even a thing. Now how do you get this door open on this side?

[Click]

You could have gotten out at any time?

"Why would I? This is the safest place in your world."

That- That means a lot.

"I know it does."

Okay, don't say that. Now it's creepy.

"I feel safe around you."

Yep. Time to leave. Getting out of here.

"Hello."

'Sup.

"Why are you here?"

Someone's trying to kill me, and for obvious reasons, I'm trying to make sure that doesn't happen.

"You should leave. It's not safe here."

Really? I can here because the other place wasn't safe. Where am I meant to go now?

"Leave while you can."

Well there's a bit of an issue with that. The exit's kinda blocked. Even if i wanted to leave, I can't.

"[Sigh] I will show you the way."

Thanks a bunch.

...

"The way out is through here."

It's a dark open space. Exactly where do I go after I enter? Am I just meant to feel around the walls until I find it or what? What if there's more than one way out of this area, and I pick the wrong one by mistake?

[visibly frustrated] "Ugh. Right. Go all the way to the back, then turn right."

Can you show me?

"What?"

You're not coming with?

"Wh-"

It would be a lot easier if you just lead me to the door.

"Look you- [sigh] It's not worth my time."

Really? Because it took you like 20 minutes to get me here, practically holding my hand the entire way. Seriously, at this point, what's a couple of minutes, just to lead me a few dozen yards more?

"Will you stop over-analyzing everything?"

That's a good question actually. People say I failed the fire investigator exam, for being too curious.

"Are you doing this on purpose?"

Well not at first, but the angrier you get, the funnier it is to me.

"[sigh] What are you doing? How are you doing it?"

What do you mean?

"I've been trying to influence your mind this entire time. Why isn't it working?"

You have? Honestly, I didn't notice. Whatever's behind it, I'm not doing it consciously at all.

"C'mon, how are you immune to my influence? When I try body language and facial expressions it works a little, so why won't my psychic powers work?"

Is it energy-based?

"What?"

Like electricity, magnetism, heat, etc?

"I- I don't know."

Because carbon dioxide is like a sponge for that. If it has to be a specific signal, the CO2 is just gonna scramble it up.

"A-"

It is isn't it?

"I guess it must be..?"

Okay, so like next question: WHY are you trying to get me killed?

"What? I never said anything about killing."

And this one... Where the hell is this?

Whoa! it's unstable as-

Am I on a boat?

How did I go through a classroom door, and wind up in the corridor of a ship?

So are like every single doorway, a portal to a random other doorway?

I could be anywhere in the world? Well, as long as it's at see.

So no matter how much this boat shakes around, this school door always perfectly aligns with it.

So, wait, what would happen if the boat sank?

Would there just be an endless out-pour of seawater, just gushing around the halls of the school, and flooding the landscape?

No, there's gotta be someone left in charge of it, and they'd have to be diligently checking every single door, for every classroom in this entire school complex.

That said, there's nothing to see boat-side. They probably stick to the school. I bet they never even use a single one of these doors.

Wait, that narrows it down to just the corridors. Whoever it is must be there.

I guess I start looking for a hall monitor.

...

You don't think that lizard a while back..?

"Every time we try to make an article about it, it disappears."

"Is it an anomaly?"

"No, someone's hacking the system."

"I don't get it. What's so special about it."

"That's exactly the problem."

"Someone's going through a lot of effort, just to stop us realizing something. Something the data would reveal."

"But if we keep losing the data, we'll be completely blind as to why it's getting removed."

"I think that's the whole point."

"Sir?"

"Something connects these seemingly unrelated articles, and someone's really trying to make sure we never figure it out."

"We used data from the letter counter parity across all files, to see if the same words were used across them. That gave us the letters 'A, E, I, L, N, P' in equal measure. Gentlemen, there is a 6 letter word shared across all of them. We believe it's the name of something, someone or somewhere."

"-Or all three."

"Together?"

"Not not to-"

"What?"

"Hold on. Something sentient that is both an object and location."

"We have a few. Take your pick."

"No, no this is something we don't have. Otherwise the missing file would stand out on the ground floor."

"L, E. Maybe a French word. Le Pina?"

"Wasn't that the place where the meteor crashed?"

"What meteor?"

"The one they stole. You know, I made an article."

"I've... not... read... that..."

"HOLY %@$#! Did we just strike gold?!"

"We only have THEIR word it was called that. What if they've confused it with something else?"

"But we don't have a single record about a stolen meteor."

"Are you sure the article, the article itself, mentioned its theft?"

"Of course I'm sure. I wrote it."

"Get someone down there. Find out what we don't know, but keep it off the record, that way it doesn't get wiped."

Whoa! Lepani calm down!

"Hey, who are you?"

I work for the emergency services. Who are you?

"That's not a name, is it?"

Why do you need to know my name? I explained why I'm here. While you haven't explained a thing.

"What's that in your hand?"

A pager.

"Oh so you're not a cop."

I didn't say i was a cop.

"You didn't say you weren't either."

Buddy, you're acting real shifty.

"So are you."

I have a reason to be here. And unless you explain yourself, it's beginning to sound like the fire is your fault.

"The fire? Ah yes, the fire."

Buddy, are you on something?

"I'm just a bit distracted."

Sir, you are in a burning building. Get your damn priorities straight.

"But why are you in this part of it? You shouldn't be over here."

[Sigh] Just show me what's in your bag. We can handle the rest downtown.

"I- I didn't start the fire. This has nothing to do with the fire. It's just a coincidence."

Then you won't mind me looking in you BAG!

"Hey, give that back! Get outta there!"

What the %@$# is this stuff? 23%? Are you downloading something?

"23?! No no no, it can't already be 23! It was only 17 before you got here!"

Okay, calm down and follow me outta here. You can explain after we escape the blaze.

"You. You, you're different. You shouldn't be here right now. Something's changed. Changed before I even got here."

Sir, we gotta go! The place is coming down! You'll get trapped under burning rubble if you don't go!

"GIVE ME BACK MY BAG! I NEED IT!"

Got you. This way, quick.

"No, not that way! That's wrong!"

Oh %@$# the roof! No, don't pull away! I can get you outta here!

"GIVE ME MY BAG!"

[CRASH!]

%@$#! %@$#!

"I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'll-"

No, don't do it.

"Lepani. You have it. You have Lepani. GIVE IT TO ME! I NEED IT!"

%@$# off! Nobody touches it but me! It's the rule!

"We needed that. You had it all along didn't you? You stole it. You hid it here. It can fix everything!"

I SAID HANDS OFF!

[CRASH!] "AAAAARGH!"

Oh %@$#. Oh %@$#. I just killed a man.

...

%@$#, he's got the stone!

Don't worry Lepani, I'm coming!

"[cough] It's okay. It's okay now i have it."

Sir, give me the stone or you'll die.

"Now we have it. It can fix everything."

SIR! YOU NEED TO GIVE ME THE STONE!

"NO! WE NEED THIS! IT'S THE ANSWER TO EVERYTHING!"

GIVE ME THE %@$#ING STONE NOW!

"[BANG!] Ah! Ow! Why?! You hurt me. You're not supposed to hurt me. You're a good person."

And you have a very limited perspective on what's 'good'.

C'mon, I'm gonna carry you out of here.

"There's no time. We'll both die."

Shut the %@$# up. I'm not leaving a person in need.

"Wh- What? Where is it? It's not in the bag. It fell out!"

Sir, please.

"There! Grab it quick!"

No, you're going to get outta here. %@$# that progress bar %@$#.

Hey! Give that back!

"There, now you have to go over there."

It's on a rope, dummy.

"What, no! Go back! Get the legacy!"

We're getting out if I have to drag you all the way.

"Stop! Stop! You don't understand!"

Hey! Someone grab this guy! He wants to go back in for property!

"I've got him."

"No! I NEED IT! LET ME GO!"

"Okay, calm down buddy."

"Gees Ives, you look rough."

Man's %@$#ing crazy. Willing to get us both killed over a stupid box.

"You know don't you?! You felt the pull of Lepani!"

Hey, calm the %@$# down, buddy.

"Ives what are you doing? Let go, I got him."

"%@$# he got free!"

"YOU NEED TO SEE IT!"

"Someone stop him!"

"Ives, what the %@$#? You let him go back in. You did it on purpose!"

"Michaels, stop!"

"But he's-"

[CRASH!]

"I- I can't get past."

"Ives you knew. You knew it was gonna go. You let him go in."

"Ives, you killed a man!"

I- [SIGH] I can't explain it. You wouldn't understand. There are forces here beyond your control. Trust me, it's better this way.

"Ives, he's still in there. Probably still alive. You can do your thing and save him."

I can't. I can't do it near him. It's too risky.

"RISKY?! HE'S GONNA DIE!"

...

"What the %@$# happened between you in there, Ives."

What's done is done. He'll die in there eventually. Yes I can stop it, but I have my reasons. Just let it be.

"%@$# that. Give me the- [OOF!]"

"Ives, what the hell? He's only trying to help."

That's just it. Well-meaning isn't always the best solution. For the greater good certain sacrifices must be made.

"Tie him up, with his precious rock rope thing. We'll see what the cops have to say about it."

Whoa. Hey buddy, what's up? Why's Lepani acting so strange?

...

I have GOT to stop doing these things on my own. Catch me talking to myself.

...

%@$#! Everything's so calm and %@$#. This ain't me. I'm itching to do something.

...

Now I know I shouldn't, but something about that left road has my nose twitching.

...

AND STOP TALKING TO YOURSELF! DANG!

...

Ugh! It's too damn quiet! I hate it. Wait. It is too quiet. Where are the birds? The insects?

Someone's here. AND I'M TALKING TO MYSELF! ARGH! Yes? Who's there?

Nah nah. You can't play it off like it was just my imagination. I'm smarter than that buddy. C'mon out. Show yourself.

Buddy, I know you're there. Don't play dumb with me.

...

Okay then %@$#. Let's play the waiting game.

...

Ugh. Okay, you got me. I suck at the waiting game. Chuckle-%@$# making me come over to hi- WHOA! %@$#! %@$#! %@$#! %@$#! What the hell are you?!

Hey are you okay my guy? I'm sorry 'bout what I said. You- you like you need a trip to the hospital. Everything okay?

Hey you can stop right there buddy. Nah, I'm standing my ground. Come closer if you want, but it won't end well.

[BOOM!]

That's right %@$#hole! That's what you get! Tryna jump me. Why I oughtta- Yeah, stay down!

Right. Right. I'm a professional. Time to act professional. Ahem. Hey buddy, what's your problem? I mean, what's eatin' ya?

"Death~"

Like, how much did you take buddy? You look a mess, and I mean before I- you know.

"Death~"

Yeah, you already said that.

"Death~"

Okay, change the record, buddy.

"Death! Death! Death! Death!"

What the %@$#?

...

Hey, these dudes friends of yours?

Whoa. Whoa. Hey. I don't think you should be getting up on that busted le- Uh. That ain't right.

So hey uh guys. Look, ya see, he came at me real quick and-

Whoa, hey stay the %@$# back alright? I might not look it, but I'm part of the emergency services and I-

[BOOM!]

I warned you! I warned you twice! Can't put this on me!

[BOOM!]

I warned you and all!

[BOOM!]

Really? Still coming? You wanna piece of this?

...

You. You're looking at...

That's it isn't it? You really do want a piece of this. That's what this is about.

Well you're gonna have to catch me and I'm known for my speed.

...

Lost 'em. Gees, how far up did I go?

The air's thinner here. Not a problem for me, but- This can't be right. I'm higher up than Everest.

Does this thing just keep going? When does it end? Does it go into space? Surely I would have seen it when getting here. It would be a giant tower into the sky.

Well, I've got plenty of time. Let's see where it goes.

...

STOP TALKING TO YOURSELF! I don't even know why I'm torturing myself like that. It's not like anyone can hear.

...

Is that- church music? Way up here? What the %@$#?

...

It gets louder the higher I go. %@$#, if it wasn't for my air abilities I'd have choked a while back. Now I'm struggling to make enough downdraft to keep me planted on the floor. No air, low gravity, I must be level with the space station by now.

...

That's it. That's my limit. Any further and I'll float off into space or something. And that church music is real loud. Ain't no-one up here attending church, heck, barely a ninth of the way up you'd need an air tank.

...

What the-

HOLY %@$# Lepani! Stop screaming at me!

...

That? That thing? You want to go over there? Are you sure?

Lepani, I'm trusting my life in your hands here. Don't screw this up.

...

[DATA ERROR] [D-DADDATA-ATA-ROR-ERO-ARA]

"Shut it off! It's too much for it!"

"He can handle it! How the hell's he doing that?!"

"Shut it off! We'll lose all the data we've got of it!"

"Okay, shutting down observations now!"

...

[AND HE SHALL REIGN FOREVER AND EVER]

"It's too late. It's in the system."

"Cut the power!"

...

...

...

Hey, I know this place. This is where the Madang hammers were made.

Well I know there's no more hammer stones here, but even if there's just a few off-cuts, it's probably worth a fortune.

Also, I don't really want that stuff lying around, just for anyone to take.

"hey!"

Yeah?

"What are YOU doing here?"

I'm supposed to be here. What are YOU doing here?

"What do you mean, supposed to be here?"

I buy gear here.

"Y- you're a customer?"

Yeah bro. I got this thing here. These things. These shoes...

"They were made in THIS factory?!"

Yeah. Got a problem with that?

"Do you know how they're made? How to work these machines?"

I'm no mechanic. I don't know it works.

"But you know who does right?"

Well, he's usually right here. So, now I've explained myself, why are you here? And more importantly, what did you do with the other guy?

"Whoa! Whoa! I didn't do nothing to nobody. I don't even know who's supposed to be here."

It's plausible you being here scared him off, but you still didn't explain WHY you're here in the first place.

"These guys, they work for the CIA or something. They said I could get a reduced sentence if i helped them. They put me in here and then some freaky %@$# happened, and now I don't know what's going on."

It wasn't the CIA.

"What?"

If it was the authorities, I would know about it.

"Aw man this is messed up."

At least the orange overalls make sense now. I thought you just worked here or something.

"Wh- wait. I'm not dangerous."

Buddy, if you knew what I've faced, You wouldn't be considering a criminal a threat.

"You mean like the things lurking around here?"

I might be a little out of the loop on recent events here. What are these freaky things you keep talking about?

"It's- It's what they wanted to know about. They were too chicken to go in themselves."

So they don't even know what they are, and they sent you in as a guinea pig, just to test the waters, like throwing a pebble in a lake to trigger crocodiles.

"Oh God, I'm gonna die out here aren't I? I knew it was too good to be true. I should have listened to my gut. I knew those guys didn't seem right. But, I- I just wanted to see my kids-"

Shh!

"Huh?"

(Get down.)

"(What are we hiding for?)"

(You don't live this long, without getting a feel for the way the wind blow.)

"(There's someone here?)"

(Yeah, and their English ain't too good.)

"(Oh God, it's one of those things.)"

(It certainly moves like an animal.)

...

(Secure, Contain, Protect. SCP.)

"(That's them. The guys that set me up.)"

(No, that's not them, but they sure are trying to look like 'em.)

"(They can look like those guys now?)"

(Bob.)

"(Yes.)"

(Your name's Bob?)

"(Yeah?)"

(It knows your name. It's calling for you.)

"(Oh %@$#.)"

(That's odd.)

"(What?)"

(It's being friendly with someone I know. They seem to know each other.)

"(The guy you're looking for?)"

(Well, no, but someone else I know from here.)

"(What does that mean?)"

(Stay put. I'm going to make this space safe. DO NOT move from here. No matter what.)

"(You're going out there?!)"

(I can handle it. And I need to know why my friend is on good terms with them.)

...

...

Carl?

"Hey, Ivan was it?"

Close enough.

"What are you doing here?"

Well actually i was in the area on business. Thought I'd stop by and see if you've got anything on sale.

"Oh you picked a rough time to turn up. A bunch of %@$#'s gone down in the last week."

I can see the place has taken a beating. What the hell happened here?

"It's these SCP guys. They came in and started looting the place."

What's SCP? A new drug?

"No, it's like an authority group of some kind, but it's something real hush hush they don't want people to know about."

Why the hell are smashing your place up? We're supposed to be on the same side.

"Yeah, well I don't think they're on anyone's side, doing dodgy dealing behind closed doors, using the mask of the authorities to perform experiments..."

Experiments? On people?

"Yeah real dark stuff. MK Ultra style deal."

Oh God, we're not back in Reagan days again, are we?

"Seems so."

Who's your friend here? They're ugly but they act cute.

"[Screech!]"

Whoa, okay. I'm sorry.

"Some guy came along looking for drones, smart ones. What he wanted with them I didn't ask. It seemed legit at the time, but when I went to call it in they cut me off."

So you refused.

"Damn right I did, but this %@$# wasn't playing. Check it out."

He did that to you?

"I was fearing for my life, man. This guy had enough guns to supply a country. I tried to contact the authorities and- well you saw."

So this is a drone then? Why do they need to be so intelligent? It's lifelike.

"It's what he wanted. He's building some sort of freak show, and we're making the freak for 'em."

That's messed up.

"Tell me about it."

Okay, where are the others? Cade and Lyle, and the others I don't know the names of.

"I don't know man, he took them."

Took them... where?

"I don't know! He kept us apart. I didn't even know they were missing until later."

[deep breath] Fine. I'll get an investigation team over here. We'll look over the whole area-

"No, you can't!"

What?

"These guys have the cops i their pocket. The SCP too."

So they're two different groups.

"Yeah, one guy's building 'em, the other's trying to seize them."

Then why does it sound like the SCP are not our friends?

"They say they're here to protect us, but they just want the %@$# for themselves."

Are all the drones here friendly towards you?

"Nah, they'd kill me on sight. Not this one though. They allowed me to have one for myself, to help me work faster. They didn't know I'd built them friendly-like."

This one can work the machines?

"Yeah."

I think I know what SCP is after.

"Oh hell, you gotta get them outta here. If they get this factory going, who knows what'll pop out."

Come again?

"They tweaked the whole thing. Saw what I did and copied it. Made a bunch of inferior models. I pulled the plug. After that SCP showed up and they scattered. If they switch these things back on, it's gonna be pumping out horrors."

Right. Well first we need to get you somewhere safe.

"You do fire, right?"

Not exactly.

"Torch the lithium baths in the power reserves. It won't burn the place down but it'll wreck the machines. Putting them back together without blueprint, after they're all half-melted, will be harder than building a thousand piece jigsaw, made of spaghetti."

Hmm... Then we go together, all of us. It's the only way to keep you safe.

"All of us? There's someone-else here?"

One moment.

...

...

Hey guy, I-

"[Screech!]"

Shut your ass up, alright?

"SCP! SCP!"

Calm down, he's with me. We good? Alright.

Bob, we gotta move.

"Get that thing away from me."

That thing's gonna help us fix this mess.

"What do you mean? Let's get out of here."

There's something we need to do first.

"What's going on? What do you mean? Oh God, you're not with them are you?"

We're gonna break a few machines.

"Why?"

It makes those.

"Oh God! This place makes those!"

Not originally, it got hijacked.

"By SCP?"

No, by someone else, SCP was sent to stop them.

"Then what's it got to do with me?"

They were using you to test these thing's capabilities. It may have started out as a seek and destroy, but SCP saw what these could do and they wanted their own.

"Oh %@$#."

The power's cut off, but if they figure out how to turn on the back-up batteries-

"They'll be more of these!"

You get the idea. We gotta burn those batteries in a lithium fire. %@$# the machines so bad they can't even figure out how they work if they take them apart.

"I'm game. Anything to screw those SCP %@$#s."

Yeah well this will screw both our enemies at once. Only issue is I can't protect you and set the blaze, unless you come with me.

"Oh %@$#. Oh %@$#. Oh %@$#."

Bob! We gotta do this. We can't let them make more of these things. I warn you. We might not make it out alive.

"I- I'm good. I can do this."