#mdzs reader inserts

neither you nor jiang cheng is fond of meetings where voices whisper plans or judgment without hiding it.

the quiet sound of jiang cheng slowly fiddling with zidian does not go unnoticed by you-- with a slight turn of your head and the opening of your eyes, you offer him a soft smile before returning to your previous state.

the meeting is dragged out and then adjourned for the day. leaving you with a bitter taste in your mouth while you bowed to the ones leaving. keeping your face neutral, and your eyes closed while you listened to what was being said.

"useless assistant"

"lacks a golden core, but so brazen."

"their position in this court must have been obtained through scheming alone."

"they should present their self in a more pleasant way than their master."

the comments go on, focusing on you-- knowing that if they said anything about jiang cheng then you would personally have a word with them later. in a less than friendly way.

the whispers are not wrong. you are a simple person. a normal person. a non-cultivator. on paper, you're jiang cheng's assistant and his closest ally.

other than that you are nothing more, but if you are able to continue being a brazen youth-- then you would like to consider yourself a friend to the sect leader of the jiang yunmeng sect, wielder of zidian, and a soft-hearted fool for those he loves.

"have you grown tired of snapping at any insult that is thrown?" jiang cheng's voice echoes in the empty room. you smile in response to his words.

"the insults were all directed at this one, if anywhere directed at you then this one would have pulled them to the side later-- but isn't it a blessing i remained silent? for if this one spoke then you would receive nothing, but complaints about this one's lack of respect."

jiang cheng simply sighs, you can hear how he moves from his seat, the sound of his footsteps echoing on the polished wooden floors before standing next to you. the sound of him fiddling with zidian (an unconscious habit of his when either lost in thought or sorting his emotions) you smile, reaching out to gently place your hand on his own.

"bah, we will reach an agreement before sundown tomorrow, come let us be there to greet jin ling when he arrives." jiang cheng spits out before he starts walking toward the docks. others would have only noticed his tone of voice and not the small skip in his step. happy to be out of the room, and happy at the arrival of his nephew. one of jiang cheng's many endearing traits that even he himself does not notice.

jin ling is welcomed back to yunmeng after a three-month stay at the golden carp tower to study the clan's history and their people.

he's doing well from the letters sent by both jin ling himself and his teachers. a source of pride and happiness for jiang cheng to know his nephew is doing well.

you stand a bit away, off to the side while uncle and nephew greet one another.

jiang cheng leans down to pat fairy on her head, praising her for doing well in watching out for jin lang while the young man jogs over to where you are. a smile on his face and your name is spoken aloud.

"welcome home." you smile and bow an action that earns one of jin lang's famous pouts before you stand straight once more. reaching out to pat jin lang's head.

you and fairy follow two steps behind jiang cheng and jin ling enjoying their conversation.

dinner is quiet, it's only when you walk around the table gathering dishes does jin ling speak.

"uncle, when are they going to join our family?" jin ling's words are that of an eight-year-old asking bout the equivalent of the weather. a valid question in his mind, but one that causes the adults in the room to react.

you almost drop the dishes, and jiang cheng coughs out some of his drink.

"y-young sir. a-are you asking when this one is going to join your family?" to your question, jin lang nods his head you can only sigh before speaking once more, "and why does the young sir... wish for this one to join your family?"

"because you're always here! you watch out for uncle, little fairy, and me-- we like you!" jin lang responds smiling.

"young sir... that is very kind of you to say, and tell me, but... this one is useless i offer no boon for a joining--" your words are cut short when jin lang looks at you, eyes wide and his teeth biting at his lip.

"do you not like us? do you hate us?"

"no young sir, this one does not hate or dislike either of you."

"then why?"

"this one has nothing to offer, except their life to service and nothing else." your response isn't what jin lang wanted to hear, standing up you can see that he's trying very hard not to cry before shouting and leaving with little fairy following behind him.

"fine! if you don't like us then leave! me and uncle, we will be fine on our own!"

the silence that hangs in the room is deafening, his words ringing in your ears. you gather the remaining dishes, rushing to avoid hearing jiang cheng's voice you excuse yourself.

you set about writing an apology letter to jiang cheng for not escorting him back to his chambers, and for jin lang's words. you write that you would accept whatever punishment for not properly doing your job and ensuring his safety.

you spend time in the yunmeg night market, finding an apology gift that would make jin lang happy-- it wouldn't due for him to be unhappy on his first night back.

you wake up from your dream. you lack a golden core thus you would be unable to become a god-shattering star. so you should simply fall-

fall fall fall and fall until you would be a stain on the ground.

you would not be able to sleep after having that old dream, a dream that was a lie whispered in your ear, but it was your life to give it up for someone else at the expense of your continued existence.

you wipe away the sweat sticking to your skin from the dream, tie your hair up, you put on your uniform slowly, lost in how many how long it has been since you had that dream. scroll and book in hand you leave your quarters.

it's still far too early in the morning for any work to be done, but you could read over documents, making an itemized list of things that jiang cheng would need to focus on by importance, then attempt to have him wander the city afterward.

lost in your own thoughts you don't realize where your feet have carried you until a familiar someone whose presence belongs to none other than jiang cheng himself.

"i never took you for someone to ignore others when your name is called," jiang cheng's tone is harsh, but the worried expression doesn't go unmissed, "are you still asleep? or... are you trapped in that dream again to be standing here so underdressed?"

standing here? jiang cheng's question seems to clear your mind enough to notice where you stand, the wind gently moving your clothes and losing strands of hair, the sky so close that you could touch it with the earth below you being so far away, and your feet just inches from the edge.

a strong grip on your arm and the warmth radiating from it chases the small chill that had settled in your bones from how long you had been standing here, but also at how close you were to no longer existing once more.

you take in how you are not dressed despite believing that you had gone through the motions to do so. you stand here so close to the heavens, so far from the earth and what gazed back at you was worry and warmth.

"this-this one begs for forgiveness sandu shengshou! this one was still dreaming!" you use jiang cheng's title, silently praying that the man does not notice how much of a mess you truly are.

if he hadn't woken you up then... you would have-- you don't want to think about how much finding your broken body, or seeing you fall would have hurt jiang cheng. despite the front he puts on, he is truly a man with a very kind, and very big loving heart.

the sound of jingling grabs your attention, and you look.

a clarity bell.

"take it." jiang cheng's tone is flat, leaving you no room for an argument, with another small twitch of his hand the bell rings. slowly, but surely with each little ring the fog in your mind cleared, making it easier and easier for you to breathe.

"this one is not a disciple. so this one does not need a clarity bell." you reply, still keeping an eye on the clarity bell in jiang cheng's hand, the tassel moving gently in the breeze.

"this isn't something that we will argue over. disciple or not, you will take this clarity bell and when it rings it'll keep that head of yours clear," jiang cheng all, but pulls you towards him and presses the bell against your palm, which despite how cold the metal should be it feels like it could possibly burn its imprint into your hand.

"if the dead wish to beckon you to them that badly, then they'll have to first go through me, and if i'm not around then the bell will suffice until i arrive."

jiang cheng's kindness is rough around the edges, as his grief still hangs heavy in his heart and over his head, but he moves forward. even though the ones he wishes to still be at his side more than anything are no longer here, there is still a room for each one of them here, waiting, and collecting dust for people who can never return.

(you silently wondered if he would make a room for someone such as you in those halls)

"this one thanks you sandu shengshou." you speak with such a fragile tone, jiang cheng didn't respond to your words, simply turning around and walking away before stopping to look at you once more.

"well? are you going to keep standing there looking like a fool? or are you going to follow me as my right hand should?"

you receive stares and hear whispers about the clarity bell, but one piercing glance from you or the bark of an order from jiang cheng is enough to silence those bold enough to speak.

the whispers die down and you never truly think about the clarity bell other than for its most basic functions and how jiang cheng seems relieved to see that you wear it.

jin ling asks about the bell, the young man moving his hand so that it rattles repeatedly once you hand it over to him. you laugh quietly while watching him.

it isn't until years later from wei wuxian that you learn the clarity bell that you keep so close to your person was originally jiang cheng's-- to which you respond that he has to be wrong.

no wei wuxian is absolutely positive that bell is jiang cheng's.

the only thing different now to the bell than when he last remembered seeing it is there are a few beads added (to which you respond was from jin ling and jiang cheng on your birthday), a prayer charm for good health (from jin ling one new years how old it is clearly visible to any able to see it up close) and lastly, a talisman to ward off bad thoughts (from jiang cheng being a worry wart when you had to leave his side for a bit due to a mission).

wei wuxian just smiles while listening to you explain each one as if it would somehow tell him that he's wrong, that this isn't jiang cheng's bell, but just some random bell that he had on him--

"thank you, for being with him. he wasn't all alone, maybe that's why he isn't as mad at me as he could be-- only a little bit of a snappy dog."

"haaa! sandu shengshou is only ever more bark than bite with those he loves-- and if this one can be so bold to say this then... if he can act like this towards the yiling patriarch even if you should never be able to reconcile, you are still his family, still his brother."

a warm, silence hangs over the two of you. you do not bring up how wei wuxian's lip trembles, or how he quickly wipes his eyes. nor does wei wuxian bring up how you gently hold jiang cheng's clarity bell in your hands.

the only thing that is said in that warm, silence is wei wuxian addressing you as if you are the spouse of jiang cheng, and welcoming you to the family.

*＊✿❀　❀✿＊*

Lan Xichen

when the changing curtain is pulled open, Lan Xichen doesn’t expect to be as winded as he is by your appearance

you’re usually in really simple, form fitting, bland colored robes

they’re aimed to accommodate how often you’re out on the field, battling and wielding your instrument

you also have had a tomboy streak to you ever since Lan Xichen had met you, so you don’t really ever wear anything too colorful or lavish

even on special occasions

but Xichen is happy that today, his birthday, is a special enough occasion for you to change your outfit

you’re donned in beautiful floral robes, flowers accentuated by the creamy white tone background of the smooth silk fabric

your hair is finally styled in something other than a quick ponytail,

it’s actually in a half up, half down kind of style, with small budding poppy flower tying the entire look together

you look quite shy when you meet his eyes, not used to how you look in such an outfit

you haven’t even turned to look at yourself fully in the mirror yet, too busy gauging Lan Xichen’s enamored expression in front of you

you’re quiet as Lan Xichen gets up from the small tea table and walks over to you,

when he’s close enough to you, he takes your shoulders gently, helps you spin around slowly to really take in the sight of you in such beautiful robes

you do as he pleases, though there’s a steady red blush rising on top of your face

Lan Xichen stops your spinning when you’re facing the mirror, and finally you see yourself

it’s different, the pastel colors and embroidered flowers 

your hair, soft and brushed, flows down your shoulders like all the other girls that you see out in the marketplace

you wonder if you look too average...

“you are so beautiful, y/n, 

thank you”

you’re surprised by his words, turning in his arms to look at him

“i should be telling you that, for buying me such beautiful robes,” you reply honestly

when Lan Xichen looks down at you, he only shakes his head a wide happy (loving) smile on his face 

he can never get enough of your beauty

*＊✿❀　❀✿＊* 

Lan Wangji

you have always been beautiful in Wangji’s eyes, 

whether you’re dressed in normal or fancy or any kind of clothing

Lan Wangji’s eyes have always been drawn to you 

as of recent, you’ve taken to wearing a lot more pastel and light blue shades, as his wedded cultivation partner, living with him in Cloud Recess

and although the silk and fabrics of Gusu were anything but shabby

he can tell that you miss the vibrant colors of your home sect 

so on a visit to Caiyi town

where you’re on your way to meet an old friend of his, Wei Wuxian you’re told,

Lan Wangji surprisingly stops at a clothing store on the way and turns to you with a simple, 

“try on something you like,” Lan Wangji says  

and though the strict rules of his sect have rubbed off a bit on you since your stay,

you still listen to your husband’s words and indulge a little bit at the clothing store

all the different fabrics and colorful clothing reminds you of when you were young naive child under your parent’s care at the inland sect

but all the colors around you, suddenly feel different in your eyes, a vibrancy that you feel you no longer see on yourself

you trail around the store eying a few dresses and robes here and there but ultimately not buying anything

it surprises Lan Wangji 

makes him a little sad

because he’d been meaning to spoil you 

“does nothing suit your taste?” Wangji asks when you return to his side and you just shake your head, interlocking your arm with his

“everything is beautiful, i’ve just, gotten used to...well,” you gesture vaguely down to the robes that you’re wearing, pastel blue and white that matches with his cloud embroidered robes

and Lan Wangji is a little surprised, a lot enamored

at the end of the day, after lunch and an outing with his friend, he still manages to get you new, specifically tailored robes

when you join him on a walk around Cloud Recess, a new set of pastel cream and sky blue robes, with you own embroidered cherry blossoms on the hems 

Jin Ling

you sigh, put your hair up

put your hair down

put your hair up

and then down again

but the darkish red bites along your neck are as clear as day, no matter what way you do your hair

you’re more than embarrassed, as today was supposed to be your big introduction and announcement to all of the cultivation world as the fiancee to the Jin Lanling sect leader

but said sect leader

may have had too much fun talking with you last night

you let out an annoyed huff, too busy working around the different styles of hair that can cover your open neckline to notice your fiance enter the bedchambers

only when soft hands part your long hair from the back of your head and lay them over your shoulders do you notice that you are no longer alone

“i can’t believe you,” you mumble out to Jin Ling only to continue to pout when he lets out an amused laugh

“well, no better way to announce our marriage, right?” Jin Ling teases and you roll your eyes, turning around to glare at him in return

but Jin Ling is unintimidated, even going so far as to lean in to steal an extra kiss

but you put a hand over his mouth, leaning in as close as you can 

(but never enough)

you place the gentlest, most teasing, kiss on the tip of his nose

and turn away to leave, your hair parted by his hands

Lan Sizhui

the hands that are currently wrapped around you are warm, skin only separated by your inner robes

“how am i supposed to change with you like this, hmm? A-Yuan?” you ask gently,

you feel the smallest press of lips at the nape of your neck, a response that lingers and then moves up to all the ticklish spots that Sizhui had always known well

it’s an enticing predicament that you are in, but your meeting with his fathers, Hanguang-Jun and the Yiling Patriach give you enough of a mind to wiggle of out of his grasp, lest he continue like he did last night with his heated kisses on your body

“hey, naughty boy, don’t add any more,” you tell Sizhui, turning in his hold to stare at him,

when you meet eyes with him, he doesn’t seem too convinced to listen to your words

you pout at him

“i’m already embarrassed enough as it is...meeting your fathers like this” you admit 

and you see the way that his eyes lighten with a softness that only you could cause in them

“you know, you make it really hard not to,” Sizhui admits, and sometimes the words that he uses with you make you breathless

you blink at him, 

“well you’ve got to try, don’t you?” you tell him

and Sizhui feels winded by the wide doe eyes that you always use to stare at him

he takes in a small breath, leans in to press a long reminiscing kiss against your lips 

when he leaves your lips, slowly, longingly,

he feels that that should be enough to sate him

for now

Xiao Xingchen

“Daozhang,” you say, warningly

the man that answers to that only huffs a small laugh, though he still stands immensely close to you as you’re dressing yourself for the discussion conference meeting waiting for you just outside the wooden door

you let out a light disbelieving laugh as your eyes hover the red and pinkish hues at the bottom of your neck

who would have thought that some one as “bright as the moon with the gentleness of a breeze” was capable of well

whatever happened to your entire neck and shoulders

anyways

when you look at yourself in the mirror, you catch Xiao Xingchen’s eyes linger on the neckline of your robes

you let out a little breath at him then, meeting eyes with him in the mirror

you watch him as he reaches a strong arm around your shoulder, moving your robes just a slightest bit higher, covering the pinkish tint of your skin as best as he can 

his gentleness in moments like this, surprise you, considering the way that you both were last night (lmaooooo)

but with the way that his hand smooths your robes, fixes the wrinkles and brushes off the non-existent dust from your shoulders

it brings a small smile to your face, a shy look despite how well you both know each other

from behind you Xingchen returns your smile,

feeling the butterflies for each other all over again

Xue Yang

you turn your neck to the side, staring at the colors littered all across your skin, the different shades and hues

your hands linger slightly, still careful of the gingerness that you feel

if you turn your neck a certain way, you can still feel the sting and heat of the bites against each inch of your skin... 

“pretty?” a deep voice interrupts your thoughts

you startle slightly at the close proximity of Xue Yang’s lips against the shell of your ear

once you regain yourself, you let out a huff as you turn to look at him, an annoyed eyebrow raised at him,

“what will the other cultivators think when i go to the conference later?” you ask, not necessarily to him but more so a thought to yourself,

“that you have a very dedicated lover,” Xue Yang answers anyways and you take in a deep breath and turn to meet eyes with him

catch that annoying, infuriatingly handsome way that he has with his devious smile

“my lover might very well cost me a fine for public indecency,” you tell him bluntly and that gets a very unattractive snort out of Xue Yang in response,

“then don’t be indecent in public, just stay here with me,” Xue Yang persuades, and you’re angry at yourself that it’s kind of working

but you have a conference to attend

a time and place to be

a name to clear

when you share a look at him, you lean in for one final kiss, one that is long and leaves your breathless

●～●～●～●～●～●～●～●～

Wei Wuxian

would laugh at you usually because tears aren’t quite a serious matter to him

despite being the known flirt of the sect, he was quite impolite with you since he’s known you for so long

plus he knows you and genuinely knows that you don’t want/liked to be babied anyways

you don’t usually cry in front of Wei Wuxian,

not unless it was out of laughter or something happy

so when you do cry, 

hiccuping, choking tears like you are now, 

Wei Wuxian’s heart feels like its lodged in his throat

he’d bring you into his arms gently, slowly,

this close to you he can hear every choked breath that you take, your harsh sniffs, and the shake of your shoulders as your sobs wracked you

the type to pat/rub your shoulders to calm you down

wouldn’t ever say anything, because well, he doesn’t want to make you feel even more sad if he happened to say something wrong

but would definitely crack a joke or two once you were feeling better just to get that smile back on your face

and even though you look disgusting

he would still use the edge of his robes to wipe away your tears

●～●～●～●～●～●～●～●～

Jiang Cheng

you’d hate to cry in front of him

Jiang Cheng was not known as the most sympathetic person ever

quite the opposite actually

but more than his general personality, you wanted to make him proud

as one of the upcoming senior disciples of the sect, you wanted to practice hard, be the best, be the strongest to bring pride to Yunmeng and all of its disciples

you didn’t have time for tears, especially not in front of your Sect Leader

but when your archery loss had cost the entire clan first place in the yearly cross-sect competitions...

you’re overwhelmed with guilt,

at the pride that you cost yourself 

most importantly, at the face that you cost your Sect Leader...

“y/n,” 

you startle up from where you’re sitting on your cot, in your own room at the inn, 

you’re quick to wipe your tears quickly, standing up with your head bowed as your Sect Leader walks into the room, closing the door,

“Sect Leader,” you breath out, your voice not having much strength after you had spent so much time trying to muffle your cries

you can’t bring yourself to look at him, 

you’re already so ashamed of yourself, and you know you deserve any punishment, reprimanding words, all of the worse from him

you hunch your shoulders as he approaches, ready to accept your Sect Leader’s harsh words because you had brought defeat to your sect

but instead of that, instead of all of that

you startle when a hand lands on the top of your head

it’s a very gentle, warm pat that despite yourself, causes the tears to drip from your eyes again

you don’t look up, because you don’t want to meet eyes with your Sect Leader like this

tonight, as your tears fall, you find out how understanding Jiang Cheng is despite his cold, rough exterior

“you did well,” Jiang Cheng tells you, his hand moving from your head to land on your shoulder, giving the shake limb there a strong, firm, squeeze

“you did your best, that is more than enough,”

●～●～●～●～●～●～●～●～

Jiang Yanli

comfort and care was her language

she was always the person that you would feel comfortable shedding your tears around 

because she would never judge

just hold and love for as long as you needed her to

it was something so natural to her

i also feel like Yanli would be the type of person that knew the exact type of comfort that someone would need

like she would offer advice when you come to her feeling lost or confused on things going on in your life

or would be the easygoing listener to your problems if you ever needed to vent

overall she is just the greatest person to cry around

Jiang Cheng ❀✿＊*

this is your first time on a boat

and it was quite the sight

you’re standing at the very tip of the moving boat, floating gently down the river to meet the river port

you’re happy that you’ve decided to follow Jiang Wanyin on this expedition and get over your fear of the water

because now, when you look out to the scenery without worries

it’s much more enjoyable

though that thought gets slightly dashed when the boat tilts dangerously from a light current, probably from a large fish/animal passing by

because you’re at the front of the boat, you don’t have anything close to grab onto 

and you’re scared you’re going to fall

but luckily, just as you were teetering

arms wrap themselves around your waist quickly, pulling you back into a broad chest

you’re too startled from your near fall to really realize the close contact that you are engaging in with your sect leader

only when the short yelp finishes 

and you realize that the boat is steady again

do you open your eyes

you’re clutching, a death grip actually, on the arm around your waist

and your breath comes out in slow gasps

and really you don’t even realize who it is that saved you until the voice speaks up from behind you

“are you alright?” 

you let out another surprised yelp at the sound of your esteemed sect leader’s question, nearly flinging yourself into the water (that you had TRIED not to fall into) 

luckily, Jiang Wanyin is quick and once again pulls you back from falling off the boat, for a second time,

he holds you steady, a firm back hug to keep you in place

“you have to be more careful,” Jiang Wanyin reminds you, voice low by your ear

“ i-i am. i usually am, sect leader,” you reassure, though you can’t really think straight with how close he is to you

“hm, i’ll keep a hold on you until we get to the pier. just in case you try to fall again” 

“it wasn’t intentional!” you tell him

you’re happy that that gets a little laugh out of him

Nie Mingjue ❀✿＊*

you’re hanging up the laundry for the day, doing your normal day’s work

the high noon sun is beaming down on you, the optimal time for drying your wet clothes

usually, your pace was pretty fast with these small chores

but today, most of the other maids had left the brunt of work to you, running off early to enjoy the festivities of the town happening in the afternoon

but you don’t mind as much as you do

it’s not as if you would have gone to the festivities anyways

but damn, this sheet for the guest bedroom is so heavy

you huff a bit with the effort of throwing it over the bamboo hanging racks in the court yard

it takes you about a few tries but you manage to get it half on the rack at your fifth try

you take a small breather, beginning to slowly maneuver it well so that it doesn’t fall off the rack again

and perhaps the sunlight had been shining too brightly

because that would be the only explanation for you not realizing someone had come up behind you

you startle as toned black robed arms enter your vision, easily fixing the heavy sheet

in your surprise you stumble back deeper into the person behind you

and with the heavy sheet fixed, an arm holds your waist in a half back hug situation

when you look down at the arm of the robes, you know who it is in an instant

“sect leader,” you jump out of the arms that hold you, immediately

when you turn around you bow deeply

“i’m so sorry for my incompetence,” you apologize for your behavior, for the chores

because if you couldn’t even do this much on your own, how were you to stay in his sect-

“why are you doing so much alone?” Nie Mingjue surprises you by saying

you look up from you bow, staring up at him

“it’s really not much...”

“let me help you”

and you stand, wide eyed as your stoic leader bends down to wring some of the excess water from your wet sheets and helps you 

Meng Yao ❀✿＊*

sunsets were beautiful from the room that you were in, 

well, these were the moments that you looked forward to seeing most 

since you couldn’t really leave the bedchambers you were confided to 

you were used to being alone

which was why

when arms wrap around you from behind

you’re easily scared

but at your fear, Meng Yao just pats a reassuring warm palm at the edge of your waist, before moving to enclose your entire waist 

“you’ve waited long?” he asked you gently

you let out a melancholy huff

“i have...” 

you feel his other hand moving your long locks at the back of your head aside to catch the nape of your neck

a ghost of a kiss lingers there

faster than you can even reminisce

yet,

it almost feels enough to make up for the hours of loneliness you’ve had

Mo Xuanyu ❀✿＊*

you did not expect to be held, at least not as abruptly as you were

you had just stepped into the big manor after all

but suddenly,

arms had reached out and held yours tightly

and even though you hadn’t even turned around

you could tell that the person behind you was shaking

“excuse me-” 

“h-help...” the person behind you manages to stutter out

you furrow your eyebrows in confusion only to hear fast foot steps approaching you

the person behind you cowers

and you hear a very physical whimper as the grip moves from your arm to circling around you entirely

“Xuanyu! you crazy lunatic! that isn’t a way to treat a guest!” a broad, burly looking man shouts running up to you

“let the lady go-”

and you had never been a damsel in distress, not with your abilities

you free one hand from the fearful grip that Xuanyu (you now know) has on you to hold your arm out

your gesture stops the servants from ambushing the poor kid, clinging to you 

“y/n-guniang, forgive this indecent behavior of this child. he’d been dropped when he was a kid, so he’s a little wonky” 

you stare at the burly man approaches you and Xuanyu, cowering even behind your shield

“you...” you hear the man whisper under his breath and in seconds the arms clinging to you release

you turn around, catching sight of the hard way that the man’s big hand digs into the child’s shoulder, forcing him harshly onto his knees before you

“apologize!” the man says, hand leveling to deliver a smack

on his knees, Xuanyu flinches, 

you stop the man’s hand before it makes contact

“y/n-guniang-”

“i will speak to your mother inside, leave me here for a moment,” you tell the burly man that now you figure out is the young master of the manor

a pause passes before he huffs a haughty huff at you, ripping his hand out of your grip and then waving at his servants and maids to follow

they’re quick to disperse,

and you’re soon left with just Xuanyu,

still kneeled, head bowed at your feet

you squat down in front of the young boy, trying to catch his eye

when he looks up at you, you truly get the full sight of him

matted hair, dirty face and sunken eyes

a quick glance over his robes shows how poorly treated he is, and some of the skin by the ripped pieces of his clothes are bruised

you sigh, moving your hand out to him

at the sight he flinches, cowers and lowers his head at your raised hand

your heart aches

when your hand lands, feather soft on the top of his head, it starts Xuanyu more than he could have imagined

he looks up at you right away, this foreign feeling of gentleness

Lan Xichen

you quite possibly love Lan Xichen, your good friend’s older brother

but like hell were you going to let the older man know that

because....

because it was just embarrassing

you the young high school senior, falling for the second year college student

he was out of your league in so many ways 

not to mention that he was also Lan Wangji’s brother and Wangji would 1000% kill you if he knew how you felt about his older brother

Lan Xichen was also perfect to a fault

he cared so much

was so kind

and there was just so much about him to love

sometimes the sheer amount of adoration you have for Lan Xichen kind of makes you gag

like even though you’re waxing poetry about him in your mind on the daily you’d rather fall off the edge of the world if he ever found out

so when you’re around him, 

you tend to have a very passive, mildly aggressive tough kind of exterior with him

example 1:

whenever Lan Wangji and you have a study break in the kitchen

and Lan Xichen happens to be there

you wouldn’t respond normally like you always do to Wangji’s request to like pour him a glass of water or get him a cookie

you’d be super sarcastic, or make some joke at him

that even though riles Wangji up ever so slightly,

well,

if it gets a laugh out of Xichen,

Wangji’s flick against your forehead later was worth it

example 2:

“are you sure that’ll be warm enough for later?” Xichen had asked you one time, when you and Lan Wangji were going to head to the library and some lunch outside

you look down at your sweater, fix the cap on your head

“the cold’s not a problem for me, don’t worry” you tell Xichen before you bid goodbye cooly

and then internally scream at yourself as you’re walking down the block with Wangji because why would Xichen worry about you?????

final example 3:

is whenever you are left alone with Xichen

you can’t 

look him

in the eyes,

like it’s a little rude

but you just can’t 

especially after that first time with his sparkling amber eyes, you almost forgot who it was that you were talking to

so you resolve to just like, not look at him when you’re interacting with him most of the time

this habit of yours give this aloof, mysterious side to you, you don’t mind the misconception

especially when it seems like Lan Xichen is enjoying the little moments like that 

if his crinkled eyes and hidden laughs are anything to go by~

≿————-　❈　————-≾

Lan Wangji

you’re so obvious

so painfully obvious about your crush on his older brother

Lan Wangji has known you for a year or so now, and aside from being a genius (you really didn’t need to be to see how lovestruck you were by his brother) he could just tell

he knows you that well

and he’s not surprised, because he’s always known that his brother is great

it isn’t hard for anyone to like him

Lan Wangji is actually more surprised by the way that you started acting once his brother comes around

you’re the complete opposite of your usually, happy, carefree, relaxed self

you take on this weird sarcastic, kind of snarky sort of persona that Lan Wangji doesn’t know what to do with 

because it’s annoying in the most infuriating way

that being so because he is the brunt of the jokes and teasing that you do to get his older brother’s attention

but Wangji deals with it charmingly because he is, who he is

and also he doesn’t want to tell you that your natural personality will have his brother falling head over heels for you just as you have

because...

because...

because he doesn’t want you to date his older brother

because he doesn’t want to third wheel two of the closest people in his life, 

currently since he’s both your friend and his brother’s younger brother, well he knows both sides of the stories well

and you’re oblivious and obvious, a terrible combination

too wrapped up in your new awkward persona around Lan Xichen to see that he already liked you,

since the first time you came over to study 

Wangji knows that his brother likes you, for sure,

because when you’re too busy trying not to make a fool out of yourself in front of Xichen, Wangji watches the small ways that his older brother takes care of you

from giving you date notes for classes he already took

(even that you’re sharing with Wangji already but he doesn’t sulk, no he doesn’t)

to the small smiles he gets after watching you leave the room first or go out the front door before Wangji walks you out

it’s all the little things that you don’t see, but they’re jarringly obvious to Wangji,

and it puts him in a very tight spot

because he wants you to be happy

he really does

but he wants that happiness of yours to be with him

not his brother

when Lan Wangji realizes this, it is when you accidentally call him Lan Zhan for the first time

he’d looked over at you, catching your eyes as your hand is outstretched to him

there’s a pause

“Lan Zhan, pass me the popcorn,” you repeat 

and his name from your lips

makes him realize that he shouldn’t lie to himself anymore

this was love

quietly, Lan Zhan hands the popcorn bowl over to you,