#md19;

Miles’ Mother’s Day gifts for Bonita, sans a card, and tucked into his weekly, non-negotiable “payments”, after hours upon hours of choosing the “right” charms to give her for his brothers her sons - an [Infinity] Fox and an Ocean [pearl].

Sunday May 12th, 2019

“Goodnight, Mommy.” Bonita was exhausted. She’d only gotten in from work an hour or so ago, and had had very little time to spare before her youngest son went to sleep. Thankfully today he and Infinity had had a pretty chilled out day, so she hadn’t returned to her youngest in tears and his brother in one of his moods. As she hugged Ocean to her, his legs across her lap as he nuzzled into her, she smiled and took a moment to breathe in the faint smell of no tears shampoo and toothpaste that lingered around him. She murmured against his scalp as she pressed ample kisses to it “Goodnight, mi amor.” she patted his back gently to tell him he could get up, and as he gave her a sleep smile and followed his brother (who had been waiting in the doorway) to the stairs, she called out “sweet dreams.” Sweet dreams. Such a sweet gesture. For years Ocean’s night times had been disturbed through the fierce stand off’s between her and his father, but no more. Now they were happy. 

She exhaled a tired sigh and stood up, rounding her couch and going over to the side table to check if her son had bothered to get the mail. It seemed that he had. The one thing she hated about having her own home was bills. She had never paid a dime for an electricity bill before January, and now they came every other month. Bills, bills and more bills. Then her eye caught something. Familiar writing–Bonita on a white envelope. She sighed in frustration as she picked it up and ripped the top open. That boy would be the death of her. Well, no. That was a lie. Her weakness had always been her sons. It was one of the ways that Jaxon was able to get around her all those years. It had been even harder to even consider leaving when Indie was young. She would’ve been leaving him like a lamb to the slaughter with nobody there to mediate. 

She still didn’t love the fact he felt he had to give her money though.

She knew she shouldn’t be. She knew he wasn’t paying her for all those years she’d been with his dad. She knew he didn’t mean any offence, and none had been taken by her…but she knew the realities of living in a motel. She knew he was by no means doing well enough that he could afford to haemorrhage money every week. He was just doing what he always had done. He was taking care of her and his brothers. She had told him over and over again that she was doing okay. That she didn’t need his money. Truth be told, she really could’ve done with the extra cash, but she just wished she could’ve gotten it from her cabròn ex. That was a pipe dream though. Jaxon made even less than she did. She had seldom ever been able to even get a quarter for a load of laundry when they were together, and she doubted he’d suddenly grown more generous now that she had left him and moved to a different state where he had no hold on her anymore. Child support simply wasn’t going to happen, and she would never ask Infinity for money–she didn’t know where from for certain, but she knew his money wasn’t coming from anywhere or anything she wanted her and Ocean to be associated with. 

The envelope, as expected was stuffed with green bills. She had no doubt that it was the same amount that she got every single time, and just like every single time, she would take the money to the bank the next day and deposit it into the savings account she’d set up in Ocean’s name the day after she’d gotten the first one. She knew Indiana of course would tell her to use it on bills or groceries, but they were okay on those. She had very little of her own savings left, but those were hers, and she wasn’t about to replace it with money that was rightfully for her children. Fin could handle himself financially, but Ocean was still so little. She thought the idea of him having enough money to go to college one day if he wanted to was probably the best one she had ever heard. She had been making a point of depositing whatever she had left of her last paycheck on the day she got the new one into the account. In it was more money than anyone in her little family had ever had. And they’d gotten it legitimately. Nobody could say they weren’t making progress.

Just as she was about to put the envelope down, she noticed something tucked into the side. Two somethings. Her brow furrowed, and she pulled them out. Two small gift bags hung from her fingers by their draw strings. She placed the envelope down and went to sit back on the couch, pulling them open and dropping the small charms into her palm, at which point she sighed a sad sigh, meanwhile her lips turned up into a melancholic smile, and her eyes filled with tears. Her sweet Indie. That boy thought so little of himself, but had no idea how special he really was. He had only gotten sweeter with time. When he was a little boy she used to tickle him and kiss his face and tell him he was so sweet that she could just eat him up. Now he was far too big for that obviously…but his heart hadn’t faltered. Not even for a moment.

She put the charms down on the arm of the couch and wiped at her eyes before retrieving her phone. It was getting late, and she had no doubt he was having a hard day as it was. How could he not be? His mother, who he had loved and who he had yearned for all those years when Jaxon was being a spiteful asshole and while she was powerless to stop it…she’d died in a horrific way..and he’d found her. She had no doubt that image was as clear in his mind all these years later as it was the day it happened. She didn’t want to overwhelm him, or take away what was most certainly a day not meant for her. She pressed on his contact and waited. The phone rang and rang, but eventually went to his automated, mechanical voicemail. The beep heard, and as she wiped her eyes again, she spoke “Hi. Hi, baby. It’s me. It’s about a quarter to ten and I just got home from work, but I opened your envelope and I just wanted to call and say thank you. Um..I hope you’re doing as okay today as you can be, but take care of yourself and I’ll see you maybe one day this week for something to eat.” she paused “I love you, Indiana. Very very much. And I am so proud of you. Of who you are, and of the man you’ve become. Thank you for my beautiful charms. That’s..um..that’s all I wanted to say. Te quiero más que a mi vida. Bye, sweetheart.” 

With her phone now hung up, she retrieved the coins and the envelope and headed to her room to change into her pyjamas. The next day however, with her shift scheduled for the afternoon/evening she went into Roseville in her beat up car. She took her charm bracelet (a gift from years ago bought with Fin’s money one mother’s day) to have the clasp on it repaired, and while she was there purchased one more charm: a silver heart with a deep blue stone in it.

Indie’s birth stone.