1. We are very reluctant to share what we think and what we feel. Thus, we can hardly blame others when they don't really know who we are.

2. We have come to understand that society has a set of "approved" behaviors and "approved" ways of thinking. We have learned to pretend to be "normal" whenever we need to fit in. Our excessive use of quotation marks doesn't "help" either.

3. Often, we just don't care if we are understood or accepted. We do our own thing.

4. INTJs are seen as arrogant by other personalities. Well, here is some news for you. When we receive criticism we often brush it off since there is nothing anyone can say that is harsher than what we say to ourselves.

5. We tend to spend lots of time alone. The longer you spend away from people, the more difficult it is for them to understand who you are.

6. We plan ahead conversations and social situations in our head. From there we decide if it's worth our time and energy. Others don't get to experience us trying and failing at those situations since they never happened in the first place.

7. We rarely seek advice from others. Sure, I could tell you that I am currently struggling with this issue, but I know you are going to give me this standard advice. I already tried it and it didn't work. Why bother going through the conversation? Since you never got to experience my struggle, you never got to know me better.

Now, to the criticism that I will probably receive from those reading this:

1. "Well, I'm an INTJ and I don't relate to this point or that point." I don't care. If it helps you, fine. If it doesn't, keep scrolling.

2. "Hi, this is future you. I think you could have said this and this better. Also, I think you missed a few points." I know, this is just a quick post, not my doctoral thesis. If I overthink this too much, I will decide to delete it instead.

3. "Those characteristics you pointed out are not exclusive to INTJs. My personality is this and most/all points apply to me." Good for you. Keep scrolling.

4. "You are not a real INTJ! Real INTJ's think/behave like this or that." Please google the "No true Scotsman" fallacy. In fact, learn about the most common logical fallacies. They will help you think more logically.

     Tom was sitting at the cafe that was around the corner from the university. He had been there for an hour already. He had drunk most of his coffee and eaten all his pastry. As usual, he drank his coffee very slowly whenever he studied there. It was a way for him to remind the baristas that he is a paying customer, so that they wouldn’t kick him out for taking up a table for hours. They had never bothered him before, but he always bought something every four hours just in case. He looked at his watch; it was around this time when she usually showed up every Friday. He continued with his Calculus homework. The homework itself was not difficult, but it took a long time to go through the steps to solve it. He liked that about it; it was like solving a puzzle.

       She walked into the cafe as usual. The girl with the wavy hair and freckles. Tom didn’t know her, but he enjoyed glancing at her from time to time from across the room. He was careful not to be seen doing this. He sat at a different table every Friday, so that she wouldn’t think it was weird that he was there every week. He also brought different books and wore different clothes every time. He figured that would be enough to blend into the background. She ordered a type of tea that he had never heard of. She usually ordered something different every time. Tom thought that maybe she was trying to go through the whole menu eventually. She liked sitting by the window. Sometimes she would read a book and sometimes she would spend her time talking to her friends on the phone. It was cold outside, and she was wearing a particularly colorful jacket. Tom decided to wait until she sat next to window before he dared to glance at her again. He acted casual in the meantime.

       The girl with the wavy hair and freckles received her drink. She thanked the barista and turned around to find a seat. She stood still for a few seconds. It seemed like an eternity. To Tom’s surprise, she walked to his table and asked “Is this seat taken? Do you mind if I sit here?” She sat across him without waiting for a response. Tom panicked internally. He sat there frozen with shock for a second or two. He was not prepared for this turn of events. “Sure, go ahead,” replied Tom too late. What was going on? Maybe she confused him with one of her friends, but he couldn’t remember ever seeing her with anyone else. Don’t panic, thought Tom, just be normal. Just don’t be weird. Take a deep breath. Tom pretended to take a sip from his coffee. He used that as an excuse to check the front of his shirt to make sure there were no crumbles on it. Luckily, he was clean. He did a quick mental check of his posture and facial expression. He tried to appear relaxed.

       “My name is Mabel. What is your name?” OK, so she was not confusing him with one of her friends. Then why did she sit here? “Nice to meet you, my name is Tom.” He quickly scanned the room. It was relatively empty, so it’s not like she couldn’t find somewhere else to sit. Maybe one of her friends dared her to sit with him as a joke. Something like that had happened to him before. He looked around, but no one was looking towards them. Maybe someone was recording this on their phone for laughs. Nope. Then why was she here? It didn’t make sense. Why would she sit here of all places?

       “What are you reading?” asked Mabel. “Oh, it’s just my Calculus homework.” She flipped the book upside down without asking permission so that she could take a better look at it. “Wow, that sounds hard. I had a cousin who took that class. He said the teacher was kind of mean. This reminds me of my history teacher, Mr. Murphy. I guess he was not that mean, but he would get mad at me for talking too much during class. We decided to play a prank on him by switching all the markers to pink. It was actually Briana’s idea, but I went along with it. She put the markers in my bag and I was so nervous because I thought Mr. Murphy could somehow tell I was the one who had the markers. She is always doing things like that.” Mabel took a sip of her tea. Tom wasn’t sure how to respond to all of that. His book was still upside down. She continued with her story. Somehow, she connected that story to her trip to Europe and she was talking about the beautiful architecture and paintings that she saw there. She was surprisingly knowledgeable about art and culture.

       There was something peculiar about the way Mabel spoke. She used a very friendly and confident tone, but there was a layer of nervousness and a sprinkle of insanity to it. It was hard to describe. It was almost like she was as nervous as Tom was, but she manifested it in a different way. When Mabel took another sip of her tea, Tom decided that he would take this opportunity to contribute to the conversation. Maybe he could talk about the weather outside. No, that’s too boring. Maybe he could mention a painting that he once saw. No, she knows way more about art than he did. He couldn’t even remember the name of the painting or the author. He would just end up embarrassing himself.

       Mabel put her drink down and stared at Tom’s eyes. It was almost like she was trying to read his mind. There was a smirk on her face, like she knew more than she was letting on. “Are you an INTJ?” she asked. “Sorry?” replied Tom. His voice sounded much higher than he intended. He made a mental note to modulate it next time. “My friend told me about the Myers-Briggs test. Not Briana, a different friend. Although I also convinced her to take it, and she was an ESFP. Anyway, I took the text and I got ENFP the first time. I took it again and I got ENTP, then again last week and I got INFP. I think ENFP made more sense, but  I can see myself as an ENTP and INFP too. Maybe I’m my own blend of personalities. Anyway, have you ever taken the test? What did you get?”