#maybealittlecrazy

It’s 4 o’clock in the morning and it’s the morning of a shoot... or two.... and I am lying in bed and I can’t sleep.  My brain is already going insane thinking of how I am going to set up my clients.

My first shoot is my second ever boudoir shoot and I haven’t even decided how I am going to set her up.  My studio is a mess and I should get out of bed and clean.  

I decide to pick up my phone and start going through pinterest and look through my boards and start trying to figure out poses to use this morning and see if they inspire me to come up with some of my own.

My husband rolls over and finds me looking at poses of half-naked women, “Ummm... honey?” he questions me....  I just laugh at him.  

“No dear,” I respond before he can think anything else.  “I am merely planning for my shoot this morning.”

“I should have guessed,” he sighs and rolls back over.

I laugh.

After starting to get that one planned I go on to thinking of my next shoot after.  I have another family Christmas-mini session.  I don’t really want their photos to be the “same” as the family I did yesterday but sadly my backyard is flooded and I do SOOOOO love the bridge I chose in town to shoot at... *sigh*

A few hours later I am getting ready for my first shoot... yes, that’s right, a few HOURS later - 9 a.m. is my first shoot. As she arrives I can tell she is nervous and I am taking her completely out of her comfort zone doing boudoir photos but she is stunning and her husband will love her for these... and I appreciate the practice.

I think she is stunning and the shoot goes well.  I am not nearly as nervous as I was the first time and I think she did really well.  

My brain immediately goes to the next shoot - as I zoom across town to get there on time for once!! 

I sprinkle my fake snow on the ground and immediately start babbling when the family arrives and snap pictures as fast as my mouth moves... 

It’s a family I have known for at least a year and I don’t even remember today much of anything I said because I was so focused on where I placed them....

It’s crazy because if these people could get inside my head for a moment while I take their photos - they probably would wonder if my brain ever stops moving.  I know they worry about their hair and their smiles and if they were looking or blinking and if the kids were smiling....

I worry about whether or not I picked the right spot and if I should have placed them a little further to the left or if the sun is going to ruin the shot - and sadly - I think I might have been right in this case... 

I worry.  I think I worry more than the family does.  I am accepting money to capture a moment in time that they will remember for a lifetime and I don’t want to mess it up.  This moment is going to have MY NAME affiliated with it forever and if I mess it up - they are going to remember that forever.  I have to get it right - I don’t get second chances... their hair will look good again and their smile will be perfect and they will love their children even if they aren’t looking at the camera - but they won’t love me and they won’t use me again if I don’t get it right and don’t make a good impression....

We have a lot of pressure on this side of the camera.  And chances are, we’ ve been thinking about your session from the second you booked us as a photographer...

At least, I have.