The person you avoid the most…
The one you give the silent treatment to…
The one whose name alone activates something in your nervous system…
That person is not your enemy.
And more than that , they are your medicine.
Love at its highest intelligence does not send you random experiences. It sends you precise reflections. It brings into your field the exact human being who activates the unhealed places inside of you, not to punish you, but to reveal you to yourself.
If someone triggers you deeply, that is not an accident. If you feel the urge to withdraw, shut down, ghost, or avoid , that is data. Sacred data. Avoidance feels like protection. But most of the time, it is preservation of the ego.
When you give someone the silent treatment, when you emotionally run, when you refuse to face what’s being activated, you are not escaping them, you are postponing your own evolution. Because the lesson doesn’t disappear. The pattern doesn’t dissolve. The nervous system imprint remains. And life, in its divine intelligence, will send you another version of the same lesson… Different face. Different body. Same emotional pattern. Over and over. Not because life is cruel, but because love is committed to your freedom.
The person you avoid may be showing you:
• where you abandon yourself
• where you fear vulnerability
• where your pride is stronger than your heart
• where your inner child still feels unsafe
• where you have not yet taken full emotional responsibility
That is medicine. And if you continue to reject the medicine, you will continue to recreate the same relationship dynamics, the same communication breakdowns, the same sabotage patterns , just wearing new costumes.
This is not about tolerating abuse. This is not about forcing connection. This is about radical self-honesty. The highest intelligence of love says:
“Do not run from what activates you. Study it. Feel it. Learn from it. Grow through it.”
Because on the other side of the discomfort is integration. On the other side of the trigger is maturity. On the other side of the mirror is your next level.
The one you avoid may not be meant to stay in your life forever. But they were absolutely meant to awaken something in you. And when you finally face the medicine with courage instead of avoidance… The loop breaks. The cycle ends. And you stop sabotaging your own expansion.
That is divine love. Not soft. Not indulgent. But liberating.
