#maximum effort shitpost

Cast

Starring:

Arthur Pendragon as Star Of Camelot

Demon King Nobunaga as Oda Kippoushi of A-TSU-MO-RI

Hyde as Lead Vocals and Lead Guitar of Noisy Obsession

Fionn as Stereotypical Pretty Boy of Backspear Boys

Hektor as Barely-Willing Participant of Non-Musical Gang Outrage

Supporting Cast:

Camelot Productions Collaboration

Lancelot (Knight Of The Round)

Gawain (Knight Of The Round)

Tristan (Knight Of The Round)

Bedivere (Knight Of The Round)

Merlin (Star Of Camelot)

A-TSU-MO-RI (+Story)

Mori Nagayoshi (A-TSU-MO-RI)

Okada Izō (A-TSU-MO-RI)

Hans Christian Andersen

Noisy Obsession (+Story)

Arash (Noisy Obsession)

Astolfo (Noisy Obsession)

Charles-Henri Sanson

Dragon Busters (+Story)

Siegfried (Dragon Busters)

Sasaki Kojiro (Dragon Busters)

William Shakespeare

Sieg

Backspear Boys (+Story)

Cu Chulainn (Backspear Boys)

Diarmuid (Backspear Boys)

Enkidu (Backspear Boys)

Karna (Backspear Boys)

Cu Chulainn Alter (Outrage)

Rama (Outrage)

Billy The Kid (Outrage)

*NEW* Special Event Bonuses

Event stars participating in the world tour offer powerful event bonuses!

Members of the idol groups participating in the world tour offer event bonuses!

Suffer Buddy (+100% Damage Bonus, +50% Bond Bonus)

Hektor

Stars (+50% Damage Bonus, +20% Bond Bonus)

Arthur Pendragon

Demon King Nobunaga

Jekyll & Hyde

Fionn mac Cumhaill

Idols (+30% Damage Bonus)

Knights Of The Round

Star Of Camelot

A-TSU-MO-RI

Noisy Obsession

Dragon Busters

Backspear Boys

Outrage

Kouhai (+50% Damage Bonus, +5% Bond Bonus To Allies)

Mash Kyrielight

*NEW* Event-Limited Items

5☆ The Way You Want It Craft Essence:

Effect: Ignores Invincibility. Saber damage +35%. [Event Only: +100% Damage. Grants class advantage against Sabers.]

Lore: Do not judge a lancer by their ability to use a boom as a weapon–some of them know that it’s recording equipment, as opposed to a spear. A candid outtake from the first recording session of the Backspear Boys’s debut music video. They seem less like Servants and more like superstars…until one of them opens their mouth to catch food, and suddenly the sparkling facade is no longer. Perhaps Servants and superstars are still like the rest of us, but with disposable income and legions of screaming fans. 

Jekyll And Hyde “Sharp Edges” Costume: Featuring Noisy Obsession front-man Hyde in his favorite on-stage ensemble–all black, with unnecessary zippers. Ensemble from CBC2016. (Cover Image As An Example)

Okada Izō “Emcee Vinyl Scratch” Costume: Featuring a futuristic, hip-hop inspired Okada Izō using a microphone stand in favor of his usual katana. Complete with Beats By Dre. Ensemble from CBC2020. (Example)

Demon King Nobunaga “Give Me A Beat(down)” Costume: Featuring Oda Kippoushi in his favorite performance wear, ready to kick ass and take names. Ensemble from CBC2020. (Example)

Hektor “Kids These Days” Costume: Someone pierced Hektor’s ears and replaced his cigarette with a cigar. He’s hiding his shame behind his new Gucci shades.

Sasaki Kojiro “Serpent Or Swallow?” Costume: Has Sasaki always had the horns and tail of a dragon, or are those just for the tour? …Are they real?

Fionn mac Cumhaill "Forever The Sickest” Costume: Which is more surprising–Fionn’s new ‘modern’ hairstyle, or the fact that he let someone do this to him?

3☆ “Applause” Command Code: 

Effect: Removes one debuff and recovers 100 HP to a random party member when attacking with the engraved card.

Lore: The warmth shared between songs in an idol’s set. Supporting one’s bias will never go out of style. Kira-kira~

4☆ “Shot To The Heart” Command Code:

Effect: Inflicts Burn with 300 damage for 3 turns to each enemy after attacking with the engraved card.

Lore: An Archer in a shredded suit sets himself ablaze during his solo, then disappears for the next few songs. He returns with his hair and clothing in disarray and burn marks on his face. His smile is bright against his crispy cheeks. He has illuminated the world.

5☆ “Pass The Mic” Command Code:

Effect: Increases damage against Saber enemies by 20% of the engraved card. Increases damage to Riding enemies by 10% of the engraved card.

Lore: Two knights share an unbreakable bond of brotherhood, forged amidst shared secrets and sins. This is NOT to be taken as suggestive. They will throw all stans overboard from their respective ships.

Event & Story Structure

Chaldea (Boys) Idol! World Tour lets Chaldea’s Master navigate work behind the scenes with each of the groups on tour. The player completes story quests to earn Saint Quartz and limited revivals of Chaldea Boys Collection Craft Essences from past years. Number of nodes per section will vary. 

The event story is structured as follows:

Idol Training Boot Camp (Sect. 1)

Story: Through all of Ritsuka’s adventures in saving humanity, they didn’t put much thought into the circumstances under which they would need saving. The day has finally come, but there is no escape hatch for the protagonist this time. They are forced to become the ultimate Ideal Idol Tour Manager for Chaldea’s boy bands. Hektor was in the wrong place at the right time to make fun of Ritsuka’s predicament, only to be dragged into it himself as Ritsuka’s right-hand man. Neither has any idea what they’re doing. That’s showbiz! Fake it until you make it, right?

Reward: VIP World Tour Exchange Ticket

Dragon Busters (Sect. 2) 

Story: Siegfried and Sasaki are a mismatched pair if there ever was one. Neither fits the mold of an idol, but somehow they seem to have fun performing together. Ritsuka and Hektor put their Idol Training Boot Camp skills into practice with the aid of commentary from two of Siegfried’s biggest fans. 

Reward: *RETURN* 3☆ Prince of Slayer Craft Essence 

Noisy Obsession (Sect. 3-4)

Story: The trio of Hyde, Arash, and Astolfo felt like it was doomed from the start (at least for them, it did). Years after they cracked drunken jokes starting a band together, they finally have the opportunity to perform in front of a real, live crowd! (Not to be confused with a fake, Singularity-bound crowd. They have plenty of experience with the collateral damage associated with those.) Ritsuka and Hektor are tasked with the impossible–to create the ultimate pyrotechnics display using Arash as the focal point! 

Reward: Saint Quartz 

Reward: *RETURN* 4☆ Noisy Obsession Craft Essence

A-TSU-MO-RI (Sect. 5-7)

Story: The loss of the Guda Guda events left Nobunaga stranded, desperate for a new opportunity to get funky fresh outside of canon. To combat this, Maou Nobu presents as Oda Kippushi and unites with Okada Izō and Mori Nagayoshi to perform as–wait for it–a hip-hop group specializing in multi-genre music that wouldn’t sound out of place on an early-2000s Linkin Park album. They even make the YUNGBLOOD-MGK collaboration look weak with how hard they go. And their lyrics? How can such a group come up with such sick bars? Ritsuka and Hektor do the math, and something doesn’t add up… 

Reward: Saint Quartz 

Reward: Saint Quartz 

Reward: *RETURN* 3☆ Superb Turbulent Times Craft Essence

Knight Of The Round (Sect. 8-9) 

Story: On their first full-fledged tour, the KOTR learn about the horrors of stan culture when they are unwillingly exposed to Gawain x Lancelot fan-art, cams, edits, and fiction. The group tries, and fails, to maintain normality while Bedivere and Tristan pick up the fragments of the other guys’ fractured dignity. That is, until they find people doing the same for their king and his wizard and demand Ritsuka do something about it! 

Reward: Saint Quartz 

Reward: Saint Quartz

Star Of Camelot (Sect 10)

Story: Arthur is no stranger to putting on a face for the public. He’s thrilled that he finally has the opportunity to perform on stage again. To nobody’s surprise he still overworks himself, to the dismay of his multi-talented co-writer/producer/choreographer/life coach. While trying to relax, the two happen upon the same Arthur x Merlin fan-works that the KOTR were trying to hide. Ritsuka and Hektor perform damage control. 

Reward: Saint Quartz

OUTRAGE (Sect. 11-12)

Story: Hektor’s time runs out as Outrage finally catches up to him. Knowing that he can’t yet repay the debt he’s run on the gang’s tab, he confesses to Ritsuka that he hates this stupid tour, hatesidol culture, and hates that he’s going to be speared-through by Outrage’s leader. Ritsuka battles Outrage for Hektor’s freedom from his debts.  

Reward: VIP World Tour Exchange Ticket 

Reward: *NEW* 5☆ The Way You Want It Craft Essence

Backspear Boys (Sect. 13-15)

Story: Five lancers watch suffering unfold as Ritsuka and Hektor fight to make last minute preparations for the nearing debut Chaldea (Boys) Idol! Concert. While they chat over food, Finn McCool, Deermood, Cool Cullen, Je Suis Karnanana, and Clay find themselves making music together with objects lying around on the table. They’re surprised by how well they “vibe” together as a group and decide to see if their knowledge of modern technology spreads to musical instruments. Turns out, it does! And with that, the Backspear Boys are born amidst bickering over who plays what (Diarmuid refuses to take ‘lead’ anything) and how they should prevent Enkidu from consuming the expensive studio equipment for fun. They agree to help out Ritsuka and Hektor with the other performers during their sets at the debut live show. As thanks, the other music groups join together to help the Backspear Boys start their career as a bangin’ boy band. Everyone uses the word “vibe” an uncomfortable amount of times near the end. It gets weird.

Reward: Saint Quartz 

Reward: Saint Quartz 

Reward: Holy Grail

Epilogue (Sect. 16) 

Story: Ritsuka and Hektor finally get to take a break. They both stop running around for a second and realize that they’ve gotten everything done, and that somehow, some way, they made it work. Hektor opens up about his insecurities regarding his past failures, admitting that along this journey he expected Ritsuka to be disappointed in his lack of interest or expertise in this event. He gets all vulnerable about the different shit he had to figure out on the fly with Ritsuka during this chaos, and how uncomfortable it made him. (CG.1) He’s grateful for the opportunity he’s had to learn from Ritsuka and grow alongside them. Like a proud dad/uncle/mentor, he tells Ritsuka how happy it made him to see their hard work pay off. He goes on a tangent about how cool some of the stuff they got to do was, then rants about how much he hated every second of it. (CG.2) Ritsuka compliments him in return, and they share a quiet moment of mutual understanding. Hektor is about to say something, but the other Outrage non-musical-gang members show up to berate the shit out of him… Only to transition to complimenting him themselves, and asking if he has any interest in managing more projects for their non-musical-gang. Hektor’s response is a firm, but amicable, “Hell no.” 

CG Get: Ritsuka and Hektor dressed in their professional garb, collapsed on an illuminated stage. Ritsuka spread out like a snow angel, Hektor with his arms folded behind his head and knees bent. The lights and colors cast a glow on them. 

Variant 1: Both exhaling, exhausted, eyes closed. 

Variant 2: Sheepish/embarrassed Hektor, cheeky idiot Ritsuka.

Reward: Saint Quartz

Side Stories + Challenge Quests

Side Story A: Unlocks after completing Noisy Obsession.

Story: An intimate look on how the split personas of Henry Jekyll and Edward Hyde communicate with each other, and the world. How do two separate identities reconcile to make music? Perhaps they influence each other more than either would like to admit… 

Reward: Jekyll And Hyde “The Sharpest Edges” Costume

Side Story B: Unlocks after completing A-TSU-MO-RI.

Story: Okada Izō’s ability to mimic swordplay translates into his wordplay, where he can pick up any line another guy drops. It’s totally like him to try to get by on his talent alone. Can he ever be persuaded to pursue more than what he’s capable of today? 

Reward: Okada Izō “Emcee Vinyl Scratch” Costume

Side Story C: Unlocks after completing OUTRAGE.

Story: Oda Nobunaga, Maou Nobunaga, and Oda Kippoushi are different people, okay?! But they’re also definitely the same person and deserve the same respect. They’re all equally important, and they’re all here to rock the fuck out, for better or worse! 

Reward: Demon King Nobunaga “Give Me A Beat(down)” Costume

Challenge Quest: Crystallized Lore CQ 

Challenge Quest: Bronze Event Currency CQ 

Challenge Quest: Silver Event Currency CQ 

Challenge Quest: Gold Event Currency CQ 

Challenge Quest: 4☆ Fou Atk CQ 

Challenge Quest: 4☆ Fou HP CQ

Notable Event Shop Rewards

There are two event shops: the bronze/silver/gold currency event shop that players can farm to purchase rewards from, and a World Tour Exchange Ticket shop. World Tour Exchange Tickets can only be used once the player has completed Section 12. 

Bronze World Tour Exchange Tickets

3☆ Chaldea Boys Collection Craft Essences from past years available through Bronze World Tour Exchange Tickets. 5 Bronze World Tour Exchange Tickets are available for 200 bronze currency per copy.

Silver World Tour Exchange Tickets

4☆ Chaldea Boys Collection Craft Essences from past years available through Silver World Tour Exchange Tickets. 3 Silver World Tour Exchange Tickets are available for 200 silver currency per copy.

VIP World Tour Exchange Ticket

5☆ Chaldea Boys collection Craft Essences from past years available through VIP World Tour Exchange Tickets. 1 VIP World Tour Exchange Ticket is available for 200 gold currency per copy.

5☆ The Way You Want It Craft Essence

Four copies of 5☆ The Way You Want It Craft Essence available: 200 bronze currency, 200 silver currency, and two copies at 200 gold currency.

3☆ “Applause” Command Code: Bronze Currency 

4☆ “Pass The Mic” Command Code: Silver Currency 

5☆ “Shot To The Heart” Command Code: Gold Currency 

Hektor “Kids These Days” Costume Dress Token 

Sasaki Kojiro “Serpent Or Swallow?” Costume Dress Token 

Fionn mac Cumhaill “Forever The Sickest” Costume Dress Token

Random Details

The idol-themed event that Fate/Grand Order neither wants nor needs, but it provides the opportunity to get old Chaldea Boys Collection Craft Essences and that’s more than enough reason to play it. Inspired by the idol-themed Chaldea Boys Collection Craft Essences. There are other music-themed CBC Craft Essences, but they unfortunately didn’t fit thematically with this concept. Instead, there are references to those ideas through the side characters in the event.

“The Way You Want It” is a reference to the Backstreet Boys song “I Want It That Way.”

The Way You Want It is designed to encourage the player to use non-Archer Servants to defeat Saber-class enemies, specifically in the Advanced+ battles and Challenge Quests. Outside of this event, its closest Craft Essence counterpart is probably Infant of Atlas. Invincibility and Sabers aren’t the most common combination. It’s not a “good” CE but it’s definitely a fun one for the purposes of this exact event. Worth MLBing? Maybe not. But if you MLB it and it grants Sure Hit that’d be pretty cool.

The first single the Backspear Boys release is probably another play on a Backstreet Boys song.

Enkidu messes around with expensive studio equipment unless specifically instructed otherwise. This includes, but is not limited to, eating multi-thousand-dollar microphones and using cables as rope to tie up suspicious individuals.

The suspicious individuals above are underpaid employees Enkidu hasn’t been introduced to yet.

One of the Challenge Quests is vs. a way-over-tuned Gawain and Lancelot. Assume they’re blaming you for the fanfiction of them spreading. Or for perpetuating it by participating in fandom. 

Gawain says, “On God, that’s the tea, sis.”

“Shot To The Heart” is a reference to “You Give Love A Bad Name” by Bon Jovi, and the fact Arash fucking dies when he uses his Noble Phantasm. 

Sieg is Siegfried’s biggest fan. His Tweeter feed is full of Siegfried propaganda. Astolfo is jealous, but jealousy isn’t a good look so he doesn’t say anything about it. (Siegfried already knows anyway.)

Sanson is brought in by Ritsuka to work with Noisy Obsession per Astolfo’s recommendation. Astolfo and Sanson are both in the choir trio Angel Breath with Sieg.

Hans Christian Andersen does not write the lines for members of A-TSU-MO-RI, but he helps “train” the angry boys on their vocabulary and spoken word style. They regularly bring in “that little blue dude” to have rap battles. They refuse to share their alcohol as he looks like a child. Shakespeare later laughs at him about it.

“Serpent Or Swallow?” is a reference to Sasaki Kojiro’s Swallow Reversal technique that acknowledges the fact he somehow gets dragon horns and a tail for a costume. Also more grown-up wordplay on the age-old question of “spit or swallow?”

“Forever The Sickest” is a reference to the band Forever The Sickest Kids, and is a dated reference to suggest that the hairstyle Fionn was given by the “celebrity” stylist for his costume was as dated as the reference is. 

Originally Arash was going to receive a Costume based on his Noisy Obsession outfit instead of Hyde, but he got a Command Code instead.

The “Stars” of the event are the frontmen of each group. The frontmen of each group play roles throughout the entire event story that I was too lazy to explain in the brief section summaries here. (If there’s interest I’ll go into detail about the storyline, battles, and Servant interactions at a later date.)

Hektor was chosen as the buddy cop for this event on a whim, initially with the intention of him acting as a foil for the event’s environment. He was going to be pretty miserable through most of it, and while he is still not happy with his circumstances, the narrative arc that he takes through the event would leave him emotionally satisfied, even if he did have a shit time working. Honestly they can’t pay him enough for this shit. The more thought I put into Hektor as the partner for this event, the more the subplot of “him avoiding Outrage” developed, and the more intertwined I saw the varying groups’ stories as being.

This event has two main subplots that follow from start-to-finish outside of the individual groups’ stories. One is “Hektor accidentally got himself up shit creek with Outrage and now they’re going to kick his ass.” The other is parallel, and is “a mysterious non-musical-group is parading around with our troupe trying to get information from us about Ritsuka and Hektor’s whereabouts so we have to steer them the wrong way or maybe kick their ass.”

Story supports have the potential to be a ton of fun in this event, because there are so many different characters that you’re just gonna be stuck with. 

For “boss” fights in each groups’ sections of the story, the only available Servants would be Servants within that idol group. Story supports available would be from that same idol group.  

As an example, during the Dragon Busters “boss” fight, only Siegfried or Sasaki would be usable. Both would be available as story supports. The fights would be tuned for these incidental solo/duo situations, since they’d be so common. 

As another example, during the Knights Of The Round “boss” fight, the only available Servants are Lancelot, Gawain, Tristan, and Bedivere. Each would also be available as a story support. 

Another thing to consider is that completing Section 12 gives the player the first copy of The Way You Want It, so fights in Sections 13-16 have the potential to play on that. Imagine all the fun comps you can play using Lancers Only for like 4 whole sections? 

There is, in fact, at least one fight against the KOTR and one against Star Of Camelot. Plus the Backspear Boys are the “culmination” of the hard work that Ritsuka and Hektor put in, so it only makes sense to reward that hard work by letting Lancers smack Sabers in–if only for this event. There are a total of 6 Saber-class Servants in this event (7 if you count Astolfo being able to be summoned as a Saber, 9 if you consider that Okada and Sasaki are both skilled swordsmen that aren’t of the Saber class). 

This is the culmination of over 10 hours of research, planning, writing, and organizing. It took longer than my Britannia vs. Roma Singularity concept. Was it worth it? No, probably not. It’s obviously neither perfect nor complete and it’s really just an extended shitpost, so you’re the one who wasted their time, aren’t you?