Aug 7
me: man i’m surprised Target doesn’t have any Spiderman stuff.
max: oh but they DO!! (points to the bouquets of flowers for sale)
me: that’s not spider—
me: oh.
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me: man i’m surprised Target doesn’t have any Spiderman stuff.
max: oh but they DO!! (points to the bouquets of flowers for sale)
me: that’s not spider—
me: oh.
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so we found out today that someone stole our lawn mower.
me: (annoyed because who has 300 dollars to spend on a new one? not my family) ugh i hope it explodes on whoever stole it.
me: (sees max) except not because that could seriously injure them.
max: well, you know what? i hope that one day they’re just happily riding a bike on the sidewalk and looking down at their pedals when BANG! they run into the lawnmower handle and knock out their tooth.
me: isn’t that what happened to you when you were three?
max: yes, so i know how bad it hurts. they deserve it.
my little brother max gets SO tan in the summer. never burns. it’s kinda ridiculous because i burn in about 0.5 seconds. we went to the pool today and THIS was our conversation when we got home
max: (turns around and squints at me) MALLOW!! you aren’t even sunburned this time! (looks a little closer) maybe a little sun kissed on your cheeks and your arms but that’s ALL!! (excitedly pats my face)
The Max Chronicles Episode 3 - A Breakfast Tragedy
me: good morning max!!
max: 😒 no. it is not.
me: …oh?
max: i just wanted breakfast
me: (confused) uh huh?
max: i poured myself a bowl of cereal.
me: wow good job—
max: 😒 the milk is expired.
me: yikes that—
max: i got a muffin
me: oh that’s—
max: and ALBUS (our dog) JUMPED UP AND ATE IT OUT OF MY HAND. THIS is OUTRAGEOUS.
me: awww buddy do you want me to get you another muffin?
max: 😒😒😒 are you going to eat it in front of me?
me: …no?
max: Then yes please Mallow! ☺️
I don't have to pee. Get wrecked.
My ten year old brother
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