#mauserirl

Captain's Log, Stadate: -298330.6

Today I was put in charge of a starship, the USS Riverside. Despite having no prior experience in this position, I was up to the challenge. Unfortunately, my crew failed to arrive as they were blown up by the Borg, so I had to pilot the ship myself. I also had no prior experience as a pilot, so quickly I found myself plummeting towards a Class P planet. I ran to my ready room to try and get help from Starfleet, but comms were cut off by the dueterium rich atmosphere.

Once I had landed rather unsmoothly on the planets surface, I was met face to face with a Gorn which I fought off by throwing a cardboard cutout of James T. Kirk in the opposite direction. I then came across Lieutenant Commander Data, who told me he was stranded here due to being kidnapped by an evil collector who left him for dead once he realized that he posessed consciousness and a desire to be free. I told him about my own ship issues and he promised to work on it so we could return safely home. I continued to trek across the dangerous terrain and ran into the one and only, immortal doctor, Leonard McCoy. I admit, I may have acted a bit unprofessional as I proposed on the spot, but he smacked the ring away from my hands and told me off for not taking the situation seriously. Bravely, I wiped a tear from my eye and led him back to my ship, where we found Data finished with the repairs. All three of us boarded and headed into space again to find our way back home.

Once back on Earth, Starfleet rewarded my heroic efforts by stripping me of my rank and forbidding me from serving on a starship for 6 months. It didn't bother me much as I spent my newly found freetime seeking out a statue of Kirk to apologize to for sacrificing his cardboard brother to the Gorn.