#mattkey

what is he yapping about???? omg and that’s coming from the man who claims that he has never had a crush on his best friend,,, sure Mikey, what’s all of this then??????

He was high almost all the time during this episode lmaoo I bet Matt was privy to some really homoerotic Mikey Walters rambling while they were living together

like— he doesn't sleep well, never has, and he hates those minutes where you're torn between wake and sleep because his ears don't stop ringing, but eventually he drifts off and it's fine. after mike saved him, he almost never dreams at all, or he never remembers it once he wakes up. he thinks he's too exhausted. (mike half-jokes that maybe it's some sort of trauma response. neither of them laugh.)

sleeping alone gets harder and harder but mike refuses to make a place for him at base, saying he needs to keep matt safe, that he needs him to stay in vancouver, ignoring the fact that matt doesn't feel safe in vancouver now, not since before mustardseed. he tries not to sleep when it's dark out, instead spending his nights camped out in the bushes outside mdawg and edman's house. it's a waste of time, really, but it's better than waking up in a cold sweat, almost tasting blood in his mouth and reliving a death that never happened.

after mustardseed, matt can't stop dreaming. more often than not, he wakes up in the dead of night with tears in his eyes and a bolt of terror still twisting violently in his chest. he calls mike, sometimes. (he feels guilty, because he knows that now he's bothering edgar too.) he tells mike in one of their middle-of-the-night phone calls that he can't stop remembering the accident. the screech of tires and metal-on-metal and so many sirens, flashes of red-and-blue light through closed eyes, pain so all-encompassing that he felt more hurt than human.