Not A Happy Post...
sighs
As some of you already know, I’m very open about the way I feel, and lately I’ve been trying to ignore my true feelings and thoughts. But I’m getting tired of doing it.
I’m not happy.
I’m not sad.
I’m just here.
I know that the things we are living right now has a lot to do with the way I feel. Free time is killing me slowly... being surrounded by my family 24/7 is not great.
I’m more aware of my flaws, making it easier to hate myself... I have dealt with self harm since I was 15, luckily now I’m 2 months free of harm, but every day is a strong war with my mind to not do it, and even more when I have to deal with my scars.
I feel lonely, even when I’m with my family. I find them annoying and I get easily mad with them. I try to find comfort in the things I like to do, like drawing, writing, playing... but it’s not the same.
All I want to do is sleep.
I don’t talk with people about it because I feel it’s a waste of time. There are worst things happening around me and I feel that I’m a burden, just an annoying person trying to find attention.
sighs more deeply
Why I’m writing this?
DON’T BE LIKE ME!
Please talk with someone, find help! I’m in my way to do it, but PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE, don’t let these dark thoughts consume you.
Reading your comments and talking with some of you really brightens my day! But just for a little, and I feel guilty for feeling this way, because you are some of the greatest people I know! And I know is my shitty mind playing with me.
So PLEASE, let’s all make a vow to search some help. Dark thoughts are not normal, harming ourselves is not normal.
Finding help and work in our mental health IS NORMAL. We are not weak for searching help, sometimes our bodies won’t cooperate with us and they need help from someone else, AND ITS COMPLETELY NORMAL!
It’s normal to feel a little down and stressed because of this quarantine, but if you ever feel a little bit odd or not yourself, try to talk with someone, there’s a lot of help online right now!
I’m someone who you can rely on, if you want to talk to... I know I’m not the best person you could do it, but I wont judge your actions and I’ll try to guide you to find help.
So please stay safe.
I love you guys and sorry for the super long post ❤️
Pink ~
